The Perfection of Love (26 page)

“You’ve reached your favourite sexiest sister.  How may I be of assistance?”  Not now Lana.

“Lana, help me.”  I was in tears.  What was I going to do?

“What the hell is going on?”  Lana, had thankfully become serious now that she could hear the distress shooting down the phone from me.

“I.  Deacon.  Oh shit, Lana.”  I couldn’t speak.  My throat was clogged.  My thoughts were racing.  I didn’t know what to do first.

“Take a breath Dana.  I’m on my way to yours, getting in the car now.  Talk to me.”

“Mitchell kissed me after he dropped Jakey off and Deacon saw.  He just sped off Lana.  I hesitated for a second but I didn’t initiate the kiss.  I don’t know what happened.  I need to talk to him.  Can you come and watch Jakey for me please?”  I was a sobbing wreck.  I was trying to be quiet so that Jakey wouldn’t hear but it hurt so bad.  I had hurt Deacon.

“Shit.  That’s a fuck up.  I’m coming Dana.  Give me thirty minutes.  I’m not far.”  She hung up and I began pacing until she arrived.

The moment she knocked the door I swung it open, gave her a quick brief on Jakey who had done his homework like his dad had told him to and was now playing in his room.  All she needed to do was feed him and get him ready for bed.  I ran as fast as I could to my car.  It seemed to take forever to get to Deacons flat but he wasn’t there.  I didn’t know where else he would be so I waited.  Mitchell had tried to call me several times but he was the last person I wanted to speak to so I kept declining the calls hoping he would take the hint. 

Deacon finally turned up two hours later.  I saw him look in my direction at the car and keep walking.  I quickly got out of my car and shut the door to run and catch up to him.  He had just got to the lift and was waiting for it to come down when I caught up to him.

“Deacon, that wasn’t what you think.  What you saw, it wasn’t how it seemed.  He kissed me.  I didn’t kiss him.”  He had his back to me.  I touched his shoulder and he recoiled from me.  The motion hurt more than a slap to the face.  “Deacon please?”  I begged.  I stepped in front of him and my heart tore in two and shattered.  He had tears streaming down his face. I looked at him and I could no longer breathe.

“Are you happy now Dana?  This is what you wanted wasn’t it.  Mitchell treated you like shit and you needed to take it out on someone else.  Did you want me to feel what you felt?  Is that it?  I’m as broken as you were.  I gave you my heart and now you can return it back to me in pieces.  I knew something was going on between the two of you and you tried to make me believe I was imagining it all but I wasn’t was I?  Were the two of you laughing behind my back?  Laughing at how stupid I was to have faith in your honesty.  Believing that you really loved me.  Were you waiting for him to come back all this time?  Was I just something to fill the time Dana?  Or maybe you never really wanted me.  You were just too weak to tell me outright that you didn’t want to be with me.”  He had fisted his hands in his hair and was pulling at the strands.  I could physically see his inner turmoil.

“Deacon, it wasn’t like that.  Not even close.  Just let me explain.  I love you.  Only you.  I never loved Mitchell half as much as I love you.  I never will.”  He put his hand up to silence me.

“Save it Dana.”  He roared.  “I’ve had enough of your lies.  Just go.  I’ll send someone to pick up my things.  I don’t want to see you again.  I’ve wasted enough of my time chasing you and being with you.  I’m not doing it anymore.  I don’t want to hear any more of your lies or be taken in with your deception.  I don’t need to be in the office to continue our work.  You can contact me by email.”

I didn’t know what to say.  The lift arrived and he got in.  He didn’t look at me once before the door shut.  I moved to follow him.  “Just don’t.  I don’t want to talk any more Dana.  I’ve had more than enough of you.”  I continued forward anyway and stood in the doorway so it couldn’t shut.  I was half scared they would crush me but I needed him to listen to me.

“Deacon, would you just hear me out.  Listen to what I’m telling you.  You’ve got it all wrong and you’re going to walk away from me without even giving me a chance.  What happened to you telling me that you would always be there for me, and you wouldn’t leave?  You’re going against your word.  You promised me.”  I was screaming in desperation.

He stepped towards me and smoothed my hair that had fallen into my face out of the way.  I thought I had finally gotten through to him but then he placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed my forehead just before pushing me away from the lift.  I barely heard him whisper as the doors closed.  “Tell Jacob, I said goodbye.”

I slumped to the floor as my legs gave way and began to cry hysterically.  He’d left me.  Deacon was no longer in my life and there was nothing I could do about it.  I sat there on the floor with my back against the wall next to lift for what felt like forever with my head on my knees and my eyes squeeze shut.  I felt a jacket come round my shoulders and whipped my head up hoping to see Deacon, praying that he had changed his mind.  It was Tara instead.

“Lana sent me to come and check if you needed any help.  Come on Dana, let’s get you home you can’t sit here forever.  It’ll be better in the morning.”

It didn’t feel better in the morning.  That was a damn lie.  It felt worse.  Much worse.  I felt hollow inside and everything in me was missing Dr. Deacon Greenwood.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I didn’t see Deacon again.  He sent
some guy to the house to pack his stuff and bring it to him.  I was still holding on to the hope that he would come for his things himself so I would get another chance to plead with him.  He told Colin that an emergency had come up and he need to go back to his practice straight away.  At least he had been gracious enough not to divulge the details of our failed relationship to him.  The first two weeks I was a walking zombie.  I put on a brave face for Jakey but the moment he left for school I would break down.  I just felt so lost without Deacon.  He had been the best thing to enter my life since Jakey and I had fucked up and destroyed it all.  The smallest hesitation and taken away the man I loved.  I blamed myself for being weak, I blamed Mitchell for coming back and I even blamed Deacon for not believing me and trusting me.  It didn’t make me feel better.  I was hollow.

I had heard Miranda gloating several times that I’d lived up to my ice maiden title and surpassed it by running Deacon off.  I didn’t have the energy to argue with her normally but today was different.

“So I heard that he wanted to taste some British delight and ice maiden Daniels kept holding out and until he decided that he wasn’t going to play her games anymore and moved back to LA.  If he’d wanted a real woman all he had to do was finish off what we started at the university ball but no he went after Miss frigid ice pole.”

Miranda was around the corner I was about to turn and I decided that this time I was going to confront the bitch.

“Miranda, a word?!”  I didn’t wait for her to respond.  I took her by the hand and led her into an empty lecture room.  I spun her through the door and slammed her against a wall.  “Listen hear you little skank.  You choose to drop your knickers for everyone here in this university that is your business.  I really couldn’t give a shit if you want to be the university’s communal bicycle but the next time I hear you talking shit about me again I’m going to make sure no man wants to touch you ever again.  Are we clear?”  She nodded shakily and I slammed my fist next to her head and stormed off.  It felt good to release some of the anger I had pent up.  Mara wasn’t the only one who had a temper when pushed.  Apart from that drama with Miranda, I came to work and went through the motions before coming home to do the same.

Mitchell had stepped up his efforts to get me back once he knew Deacon was no longer around.  He sent flowers and other token gifts he knew that I normally loved liked vintage jewelry.  I sent it all back.  All I wanted was Deacon.  The only thing that came to mind when I saw the flowers was that Mitchell didn’t know what flowers I liked.  He bought every kind but the ones I actually liked.  In how many years he’d never noticed what flowers I liked.  He never took the time to pay attention to the small details.

One afternoon I was working from home when I heard a car pull up outside.  My heart instantly called out for Deacon and my head couldn’t keep up because my body was already running to the door.  It was Mitchell.

“Mitchell what are you doing here?  Jakeys at school.  You know this.  You can’t just turn up here uninvited.  Last time I checked, we don’t live together” He had more flowers.  He offered them to me but I didn’t take them.  I wished he would leave me the hell alone.  It was past irritating now.

“I wanted to talk to you without Jakey here.  I’m sorry, I should have called first.”  Something with off with his tone but I didn’t have time to think what it was before he pushed me into the house.

“What the fuck, Mitchell?”  Again, I didn’t have time to think before his fist came straight at me.  I had no time to defend myself.  I fell back and hit my head on the corner of the table where I kept the house phone.  Suddenly everything went black.

When I woke up I was on the living room floor.  I felt the back of my head and there was blood when I looked at my fingers.  Mitchell was standing in front of me pacing like a caged animal.

“So you’re finally awake.”  His boot came crashing into my ribs.  I groaned.  “You’re pathetic.  Did you really think that you could take my son and ruin my life and not pay for it?”  Another boot met my side and this time my body lifted off the floor and came back down with a thud.  “Two years you bitch.  I would lay there every night thinking to myself about how I would get you back.  I had people watch you while I was away did you know that Dana?  I wasn’t surprised to hear that you eventually became a whore with that American leaving your house in the early hours of the morning.”  He spat on me in his disgust.  “Of course I paid him a visit when I got out.  That was the first thing I did.  I’ve not heard a more satisfying sound than when he hit the bumper of my car.”  I opened my eyes at him in shock despite the pain.  It was Mitchell that had run over Deacon.  He had tried to kill him.  “It felt good.  I can’t lie.  It felt amazing.”  He sounded like he’d also lost his marbles while being in prison.  “Then I needed to decide what I was going to do with you.  You needed special punishment for your deeds Dana.  You managed to turn the Yank away from you without me even getting too much involved.  You’re weak.  Couldn’t even keep him.  He was running to get away from you.”  I knew that Mitchell was trying to beat me down with his words but it didn’t stop them from hurting because there was some truth to them. 

I was finding it hard to breath.  I already knew the signs of broken ribs and using that knowledge I could guess that a few were broken.  Mitchell had begun to pace again and was muttering to himself but then he stopped abruptly and looked at me.  I had never seen such menace in his eyes before.

“I gave you everything you needed Dana but you were so ungrateful.  It was never enough for you.”  I take back losing his marbles.  Mitchell had clearly begun smoking a concoction of drugs in prison.  I accidentally let out a snort and Mitchell pounced on me instantly.  “You think this is fucking funny?  I’ll show you what’s funny.”  I didn’t completely register the blade he took out from his pocket but I definitely felt the blade plunge into my side.  Mitchell covered my mouth to stifle my scream and then allowed me to collapse onto the floor.  I was finding it hard to focus.  I could feel the blood pooling beneath me.  Suddenly I heard the sound of the key in my front door.  Mitchells head whipped up.  He moved silently to drag me behind the sofa.  I couldn’t get out any sound of warning.  He was right I was pathetic.  My life and the life of whoever was coming through my door depended on me alerting them to the imminent danger and I couldn’t muster anything.

“Dana, are you home?  I saw your car outside so I thought I’d pop in.  It’s my day off.  I thought maybe we could grab Jakey from school and then go for a cheeky dinner somewhere.”  It was Mills.  The tears were streaming down my face.  I let out a squeak but that’s all I could do.  “Dana is that you?  Is everything alright?”  She stepped through the living room door and Mitchell grabbed her and covered her mouth with his hand while he plunged the still dripping blade into her stomach while his eyes stayed locked with mine.  I let out a scream as I saw the shock and disbelief appear in her face. He let her body drop to the floor and she reached her hand out towards me. I stretched for her but I just couldn’t reach her.  Mitchell kicked her hand away with such malice.  I’m sure some of her fingers broke on contact with his boot.  How could he be so evil?  How could I have had a child with this man?  Finally something snapped.  Something broke inside me.  I had had enough.  Mills never hurt anyone.  She never badmouthed anyone.  Not even Mitchell.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw the broken leg from the coffee table.  While Mitchell was distracted pacing again, I inched towards it.  Keeping one eye on the table leg and one eye on his position.  I could hear Ma in my head repeating her words at Christmas ‘
Remember who you are and where you come from.  We are strong women.  There isn’t a man out there who can bring us down and keep us there.  You all must stay true to yourselves and never forget that.’
  I finally reached the leg and now I needed Mitchell to come closer.  It came to me instantly.  Mitchell always loved to hear me beg.  This time I was going to make sure my begging was the last thing he ever heard.