The Secret of Life Wellness: The Essential Guide to Life's Big Questions (33 page)

partner’s solar plexus and clearing all the density, hurt, anger, or frustration that they are

carrying in relation to you. Imagine that this gold light moves all the dense energy into

the middle, where all the negativity dissolves into the violet flame, and then the fire is

extinguished. Violet is a great color to transmute dense and negative energy.

Focus on sending love, peace, and care into the cord, and observe as it assimilates

into the gold light that circulates between you and your partner. The color can also

change to green, which shows healing, especially related to issues of the heart, pink,

which demonstrates that love and care is flowing through the cord, or purple, which

strengthens your spiritual connection.

After you have cleared the cords, focus on all the positive qualities your partner has.

Focus on your partner’s potential instead of weaknesses. See them succeed in whatever

area he or she feels challenged. You can ask yourself: “What positive action has my

partner done today that I can acknowledge and appreciate?” Write these down or reflect

on them in your mind. Then share with your partner. Visualize your partner responding

positively to you.

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15

How You Can Prepare Your

Body for Pregnancy

I would really love to get pregnant and have heard that there are things

I can do to prepare my body for pregnancy. I would also like to know if I can

communicate with the soul of my baby before he or she is born.

I would love to have a natural birth. Do you have any tips?

If you and your partner plan to have children or are in the midst of a pregnancy, this

chapter can help you connect with your baby, work on resolving past issues, and

explore natural birth. Even if you are not pregnant or have no intention of having chil-

dren, you may like to read this section to deepen your understanding of your own birth

and whether some of your deepest beliefs are your own or come from your parents. It is

important to emphasize that recognizing that you are carrying someone else’s pain or

beliefs can help you to let go and move forward rather than blame your parents for your

experience.

Taking Time to Prepare

Having children is a very serious decision, and it is important to prepare mentally, emo-

tionally, energetically, and physically for this experience. On a mental level, it is

important that you and your partner have a healthy relationship and take time to com-

municate with each other. At times, unresolved issues in a relationship can make it

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difficult for a woman to get pregnant, as subconsciously, she may not feel safe to bring

up a child. Occasionally, the pain may stem from a past relationship.

On an emotional level, it is really beneficial to do some internal work on yourself

and your childhood, as well as any hurtful relationships from the past, before you

become pregnant. You may need to look at forgiving your parents or former partners in

order to feel more emotionally stable and comfortable.

If you plan to be a single parent, then you need to make sure you have enough sup-

port from your family and friends to take this step. It is also advisable to speak to other

single parents to understand exactly what is involved in bringing up a child on your own.

Alexia’s Story: Difficulties Conceiving

Alexia came to see me because she was having difficulty conceiving. She

had a number of ovarian cysts and doctors told her she had a very slim

chance of getting pregnant. Alexia was distraught, as she was in her mid-

thirties and had finally found a man with whom she wanted to spend her

life and raise a family.

Deep in her heart, Alexia felt that she could get pregnant. When I was

tuning in to her, I could see a little girl in her aura. However, the message I

received from her baby’s soul was that Alexia needed to release the pain

she was carrying from her last relationship. Alexia had been engaged to a

man she was in love with a few years previously; they talked about starting

a family and being together till old age. However days before the wedding,

Alexia and her fiancée had a fight and he called off the wedding.

Alexia was devastated, as it seemed like all her dreams had just van-

ished. She became reclusive and depressed. Not long after, she discovered

that she had ovarian cysts. As I have helped many women who have had

cysts, I knew that they related to unfulfilled dreams, holding onto regrets,

disappointments, failures, and the fear of being hurt. When I read the symp-

toms to Alexia from my book,
The Secret Language of Your Body
, she could

relate to most of them.

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I worked with Alexia to release disappointments from her ex partner’s

broken promises and her anxiety around trusting a man again. Alexia also had

a deep fear of abandonment as her mother had died when she was young.

I encouraged Alexia to attend
The Secret Language of Your Body
work-

shop, where she could learn tools to communicate with and heal her body.

Alexia changed her diet, started to exercise, took appropriate supple-

ments, and made time to meditate, connect to, and listen to her body and

work on her emotions. She also shared all her concerns with her partner,

who was very supportive and reassured her that he was fully committed to

their relationship and was keen to be a father.

I encouraged Alexia to have some acupuncture treatments from a quali-

fied practitioner, who helps women prepare for pregnancy and birth. I had a

very positive experience with acupuncture when I was pregnant with my

daughter and cannot recommend it highly enough, as long as you find a

highly qualified practitioner.

Within a few months of preparing her body for a baby, Alexia conceived.

During her pregnancy she felt strong and gave birth to a healthy girl.

Creating an Optimal State

How a mother feels during her pregnancy has a huge effect on the child, and the way

they live their life. It is essential to make sure that you are in an optimal mental and

emotional state during pregnancy and birth. If an emotional or physical challenge arises

while you are pregnant, it is important to recognize and deal with it, in a gentle but

swift manner so that you do not pass any negativity on to the baby. In fact the ideal situ-

ation is to spend as much time as possible focusing on positive, loving, nurturing

emotions while you are pregnant and directing these to your baby.

Listening to beautiful music, while rubbing your belly and sending loving thoughts

and images of love is a powerful way to make a connection with your child and help

them feel safe. If you have a partner, encourage them to sing, talk to and send loving

energy to the baby.

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Tim’s Story: A Mother’s Anxiety

Tim attended my workshop because he didn’t know how to deal with his

anxiety. During the exercises on communicating with his body, Tim became

aware that when he was a fetus in his mother’s womb, he had adopted his

mother’s worries.

During the healing process, Tim realized that his mother’s apprehension

was her experience and that unconsciously he had been punishing himself

for causing her pain and discomfort during the pregnancy. In fact, his

mother had a lot of conflict with Tim’s father about their finances and sur-

vival when she was pregnant. Not surprisingly, Tim always struggled with

money.

In the workshop, Tim was able to release the unconscious guilt he car-

ried from the womb and free himself from holding on to his mother’s fear.

Incredibly, after the process Tim’s anxiety disappeared. When I saw him

months later, he looked confident, relaxed, and at peace. He told me that he

felt like a different person. He had also been given a promotion at work.

Connecting to the Soul of the Baby

Many women say that they can feel their baby’s soul before they even get pregnant.

Sometimes they dream about the baby; at other times, they can feel the energy of their

child around them, and occasionally they can actually see and communicate with the

baby’s spirit.

Before I was pregnant with my daughter, Angelina, I got strong images and visions

that I would have a daughter soon. When I found out I was pregnant, I felt a bit con-

cerned that it was too soon to have a second child, as I was only twenty-three and

already had my son, Raphael, who was two at the time. When I was meditating on

what to do, I was shown a beautiful baby girl. She told me that she has chosen me as

her mummy and she was very excited to be my daughter. After that, I felt very comfort-

able with my decision to have her.

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When she was about four years old, Angelina told me that she had been praying

and thanking God. I asked her, why? She said, “For giving me a beautiful mummy like

you.” I was very touched.

Working with Energy Centers

On an energetic level, I often advise my clients to work with their energy centers. It is

especially beneficial to work on the first, second, and third chakras to prepare the body

for pregnancy. Red, orange, and yellow are excellent colors to warm the body and create

a receptive environment for the baby. These are also the colors of the first three chakras.

The First Chakra

The first chakra holds all your familial beliefs and patterns. It is linked to support, loy-

alty, safety, and a sense of oneness. It also contains fears about our physical survival, loss

and abandonment, shame, and betrayal. When you connect with this chakra, you may

like to examine what beliefs you adopted from your childhood and which ones are no

longer legitimate. Do you still have unresolved issues with your family members? Are

you willing to heal your relationships? Do you have a fear of abandonment that you

are holding on to? Do you keep people at a distance or push them away before they can

reject you? As you answer these questions, reflect if those beliefs serve you or if you are

ready to let them go.

The Second Chakra

The second chakra relates to your significant relationships. It is linked to external suc-

cess, choice, honesty, creativity, communion, and sexuality. It also contains fears around

survival, lack, failure, control, rejection, and isolation. Here, you may look at what role

you play in your relationships. Are you empowered or victimized? Do you feel like a

child with money or are you able to master your finances? How often do you make

choices based on money, rather than what you would really love? Can you allow

yourself to be creative in your life? How do you feel about your body and sensuality? As

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you contemplate the answers, ask yourself if you are willing to take more responsibility

for your life and take positive actions.

The Third Chakra

The third chakra is connected to your personal power and self-esteem. It is linked to

self-confidence, respect, discipline, courage, and action. It also stores fear of looking stu-

pid, failing, being seen as unattractive, being criticized, not feeling good enough, and

aging. When you connect with this chakra, you may explore your feelings about yourself.

What do you love about yourself ? What aspects of you have you rejected? How impor-

tant is it for you to please others and have them like you? How much importance do you

give to what others think? Do you have the courage to listen to your own wisdom and

make the changes you need? How would you know if you were happy?

As a parent, you regularly have to make critical decisions about your children’s lives.

In order to be a great example to your children, you need to be a courageous and wise

explorer of your own life, demonstrating an ability to heal, transform, and lead.

Natasha’s Story: Dealing with Loss

Natasha came to my workshop with her husband Simon, a doctor who

practiced integrative medicine. Natasha, eight months pregnant, was terri-

fied of giving birth. Before she had become pregnant, she battled a terrible

kidney infection for almost a year, which severely weakened her immune