The Skeptics Annotated Bible (687 page)

Highlights:

• The divine pyromaniac threatens to “send fire unto” Hazel, Gaza, Tyrus, Teman, Rabbah, Moab, and Judah.
  1.4-2.5
  
• “A man and his father will go in unto the same maid, to profane my [God’s] holy name.”
  2.7
  
• God killed the Amorite giants, who were as tall as cedars and as strong as oaks.
  2.9
  
• “He that is courageous among the mighty shall flee away naked in that day, saith the LORD.”
  2.16
  
• All evil comes from God.
  3.6
  
• God afflicted the Israelites with “cleanness of teeth” (famine), drought, blasting, and mildew. He killed them with pestilence, slaughtered them with the sword, and “made the stink of their camps come up into their noses.” And yet they still didn’t return to him. What is wrong with people?
  4.6-11
  
• Woe is everyone (especially musicians and wine drinkers).
  6.1-6
  
• God burned up the earth and sea, and then he repented for it.
  7.4-6
  
• He stands on a wall holding a plumb line while he talks to Amos.
  7.7
  
• “Thus saith the LORD; Thy wife shall be an harlot in the city, and thy sons and thy daughters shall fall by the sword … and thou shalt die in a polluted land.”
  7.17
  
• God shows Amos a basket of summer fruit and tells him that the end has come.
  8.1-2
  
• “There shall be many dead bodies in every place.”
  8.3
  .
  
• “I will cause the sun to go down at noon, and I will darken the earth in the clear day.”
  8.9
  
• “I will bring up sackcloth upon all loins, and baldness upon every head.”
  8.10
  
• Amos sees God standing on the altar.
  9.1
  
• God will kill “the last of them with the sword,” and any that try to escape by diving to the bottom of the sea will be bitten, at God’s command, by a serpent. God will set his “eyes upon them for evil, not for good.”
  9.1-4
  

1
The words of Amos, who was among the herdmen of Tekoa, which he saw concerning Israel in the days of Uzziah king of Judah, and in the days of Jeroboam the son of Joash king of Israel, two years before the earthquake.

2 And he said, The LORD will roar from Zion, and utter his voice from Jerusalem; and the habitations of the shepherds shall mourn, and the top of Carmel shall wither.

(1:3, 6, 9, 11, 13; 2.1, 4. 6) God says there are three or four reasons for him to punish various people, he just can’t remember which it is.

3
Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of Damascus, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof
; because they have threshed Gilead with threshing instruments of iron:

(1.3)
“Thus saith the Lord, For three transgressions of Damascus, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof.”

(1.4, 7, 10, 12, 14; 2.2, 5)
“I will send a fire unto …”
The divine pyromaniac threatens to “send a fire” into Hazael, Gaza, Tyrus, Teman, and Rabbah.

4 But
I will send a fire into the house of Hazael
, which shall devour the palaces of Ben-hadad.

(1.4)
“I will send a fire into the house of Hazael.”

5
I will
break also the bar of Damascus, and
cut off the inhabitant from the plain of Aven
, and him that holdeth the sceptre from the house of Eden:
and the people of Syria shall go into captivity
unto Kir, saith the LORD.

(1.5)
“I will … cut off the inhabitant from the plain of Aven … and the people of Syria shall go into captivity.”

6
Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of Gaza, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof
; because they carried away captive the whole captivity, to deliver them up to Edom:

(1.6)
“Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of Gaza, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof.”

7 But
I will send a fire on the wall of Gaza
, which shall devour the palaces thereof:

(1.7)
“I will send a fire on the wall of Gaza.”

8 And I will cut off the inhabitant from Ashdod, and him that holdeth the sceptre from Ashkelon, and I will turn mine hand against Ekron: and the remnant of the Philistines shall perish, saith the Lord GOD.

(1.8)
“I will cut off the inhabitant from Ashdod … and I will turn mine hand against Ekron: and the remnant of the Philistines shall perish, saith the Lord.”

9
Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of Tyrus, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof
; because they delivered up the whole captivity to Edom, and remembered not the brotherly covenant:

(1.9)
“Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of Tyrus, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof.”

10 But
I will send a fire on the wall of Tyrus
, which shall devour the palaces thereof.

(1.10) “I will send a fire on the wall of Tyrus.”

11
Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of Edom, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof
; because he did pursue his brother with the sword, and did cast off all pity, and his anger did tear perpetually, and he kept his wrath for ever:

(1.11) “Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of Edom, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof.”

12 But
I will send a fire upon Teman
, which shall devour the palaces of Bozrah.

(1.12) “I will send a fire upon Teman.”

13
Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of the children of Ammon, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof
; because they have ripped up the women with child of Gilead, that they might enlarge their border:

(1.13) “Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of the children of Ammon, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof.”

14 But
I will kindle a fire in the wall of Rabbah
, and it shall devour the palaces thereof, with shouting in the day of battle, with a tempest in the day of the whirlwind:

(1.14) “I will kindle a fire in the wall of Rabbah.”

15 And their king shall go into captivity, he and his princes together, saith the LORD.