The Symbolon (14 page)

New York

Returning to New York was the right thing to do. It was a place where she could pretend that she hadn’t lost the most important things in her life. She opened the door to the brownstone and remember
ed a time when she didn’t expect so much from life, when this place had actually seemed like a home.

There were
fifty-nine messages on her machine. But Valeria wasn’t ready to listen to any of them.

∞

Three weeks had passed since she had returned. There had been many knocks on the door but she just wasn’t up to dealing with it. This time the knocks continued; a pounding, desperate knocking, then the metallic sound of a key going into the lock. A gruff New York accent came through, “Lady? Lady?”

“I already told you I’
ve been knockin’... Just cut the freaking chain!” It was Weege. The bolt cutters came through and cut the chain inside her door. Valeria watched it all, with nothing more than numb detachment. Then Weege walked into the apartment, as she excused the burly man in the wife-beater tank top and baggy pants.

She stalked through the flat in utter shock
. Then Weege’s eyes found her.

“Holy shit!”
Weege shook her head. “What the hell did that asshole
do to you?”

Valeria sat on the floor, now
weighing less than a hundred pounds; she was pale and her eyes were still swollen. She couldn’t even try to smile. The pictures of the family, who had been her only company, surrounded her; the one of her sleeping in Alex’s arms was still in her hand.

Staring for several minutes, Weege was speechless and then regained her composure. “What are these?” She picked up the pictures and analyzed them. Weege stared at the picture of Alex holding Valeria. Weege’s voice was hoarse. “Is that him? I see why you…uh…” She cleared her throat and then her face drew back for an instant as she stared into Valeria’s eyes. “Val, are you wearing contacts?” Weege continued to stare. “Uh
, I love the color, but honey, I don’t know that you should be wearing them now.”

“Thanks
,” Valeria said softy.

“But
, Val, you gotta stop this crazy, friggin’ diet...now!” Valeria offered Weege her closest imitation of a smile and hugged her. Weege continued, “Come on, we’re gonna get you something to eat! I just found this new place; you’re gonna love it.”

Valeria decided that she needed to dress; she needed to find a way to at least pretend to be normal. She showered and changed into a pair of jeans, and realized that they were much too big.
Yoga pants and a T-shirt would hide the actual weight loss better. Stepping outside onto the porch, for the first time since her return, wearing his gray jacket, the sunlight overtook her despite the fast moving clouds above that mostly blocked the sun. Covering her eyes with her arm and squinting, she frantically searched through her Louis Vuitton bag for her sunglasses. Finally she found them and scooted them along her nose.

She felt like a vampire, now exposed to the muted daylight of morning. Still, she was surprised that the cool air felt good; it made her feel something other than loss. Her legs felt a bit wobbly and she clung to the rail while she cautiously moved down the five steps that led to the sidewalk…and civilization. She noticed the buds forming on the trees along her street and recognized that it would
soon be spring. Time was moving on without her.

As they walked up a block, bursts of steam rose through grates in the sidewalk. It was one of the oddities of Manhattan that Valeria loved. She felt her yoga pants sliding down on her hips. She reached for the waistband and yanked them up, hoping Weege hadn’t noticed. There had been no momentous decision to stop eating. She simply wasn’t hungry. She wasn’t anything
; she was simply a half of a whole…now incomplete. There hadn’t even been a lot of tears since she’d arrived in New York—well, not the torrents like before. Now it was more like a constant drizzle.

Seeing Weege’s physical response to her appearance had concerned Valeria. She didn’t really see herself anymore. She didn’t feel hungry. She knew her clothes were much too big. But she didn’t care. Still, she had taken a major step…leaving her brownstone and going to breakfast with a friend.
Normal people
did that kind of thing…people who were whole, all by themselves. Valeria actually heard some of what Weege was saying and even responded a few times.

Reaching the main intersection, Weege hailed a cab and gave the driver directions.

“Ya know, Val, you need to find something to do with yourself. Maybe you should write. I mean it’s not like you’re inexperienced at it. You’ve been writing your whole life—you know, your journals.” Weege’s eyes enlarged. “Hey! I know! You could write my life story! You could be…like a ghost writer. Now that would be a New York Times Bestseller—guaranteed!”

Valeria nodded, but didn’t hear what Weege said. They drove around the north end of Central Park and a few oversized raindrops hit the windshield. As usual
, Weege was shouting instructions to the cabbie, telling him how to get around the traffic that was slowing their progress. He occasionally glanced back with what appeared to be confusion but Valeria was quite certain that he didn’t understand a word Weege was saying.

At last they arrived at their destination and Weege paid the cabdriver. Valeria didn’t even think to object.

“Best breakfast place in Manhattan! I don’t know how we didn’t find this earlier. I guess there’s one on the West side. But I haven’t tried that one yet…and to celebrate your…uh…well, your return, I figured we go to the best! Right?”

They walked toward the green awning and Weege was smiling as she held the door open. There was something familiar that was gnawing at Valeria’s consciousness…then she saw the name on the door
: “Sarabeth’s.”

Suddenly
, her mind returned to the previous fall. It was the morning when she had first met Alex. She remembered so clearly the look in his eyes and the sound in his voice when he said, “Have breakfast with me.” It had been so sweet…so beautiful—a moment that, even then, had electricity and magic. He had held the door open for her and smiled at her in that way, that was now ingrained on her heart. Knowing Alex so well now, she realized how nervous he had been that day. But at the time he just seemed so cool…so charming…so Alex! And now…
now
…she felt the panic building in her chest, the pain overwhelming her. Suddenly, everything became a blur. Valeria disconnected from it and saw Weege’s expression become alarmed…Weege’s mouth was moving…people were scurrying around her and in her face and talking to her. She could hear a sound, a wailing, and to her shock, she realized that the sound belonged to her. Then, suddenly, everything went black.

∞

There was a loud beeping that was getting rather annoying...and a pain in her arm. Valeria opened her eyes. She was in a small cubicle with a curtain and wearing a faded hospital gown with an almost visible blue pattern on it.

Weege was sitting by her side. “I want you to know that I gave that asshole a piece of my mind!”

Did something happen that she didn’t remember? She wondered how she had ended up in a hospital.

“What are you talking about?” Valeria muttered.

“The asshole who did this to you!
That’s who!”
How did Weege know about the council and Paolo? “Alex!” Weege said, as if his name were a profanity.

“What did you do?” Valeria demanded, trying to sit up
; and then she weakly sunk back into the bed, but was just as suddenly hopeful.

“I told him that if he ever stepped within
a hundred yards of you that I would kick his ass from here to eternity!”

“Alex? You spoke to Alex?”

“Uh, yeah! You didn’t even tell me you were back. I had to hear it from him!”

Something definitely didn’t make sense. Her head felt thick and everything seemed confusing. A nurse came in and
smiled. “Feeling any better? You were pretty dehydrated! It took three nurses to get an IV in you!”

Valeria nodded at the nurse and then went back to Weege. Her heart rate monitor was showing a spike and the nurse looked at Weege in disapproval. “Let’s keep our patient calm.”

Waiting until the nurse left, Valeria jumped in again and asked, “You spoke to Alex? When…” She tried to calm herself. “How did he sound?” She was hungry for news of him!

“Yeah…well…” Weege’s eyes narrowed accusatorily
. “Hey, you aren’t going to freak out on me again are you?” Biting her lip, Valeria shook her head. She wasn’t certain she could control her reaction, but she had to know. “So this asshole—”

Valeria closed her eyes
. “Please, Weege,
please
…don’t call him that.” Her eyes flooded with tears.

“Jeez Val,” Weege
said as hers eyes widened, nervously. “You know me…that’s just my way.” She looked away and swallowed and then continued softly, “It was the real thing, wasn’t it.”

Valeria closed her eyes tightly and swallowed back the emotion that was again overtaking her. Yes, it
was
.

The nurse marched in and
, angrily, pointed an accusatory finger at Weege. “That’s it. You’re going to the waiting room!”

“
What?
I didn’t do nothing! I swear it! Ask her!” But the nurse insisted and, finally, Weege shrugged at Valeria and patted her shoulder before walking out. “I swear that old biddy has it in for me! We’ll talk more later,” Weege whispered and left.

Within minutes of Weege’s exit, the curtain pulled back again and the woman
who Valeria had determined was simply a figment of her imagination appeared…the woman…Shinsu? Her eyes sparkled oracle blue, and Valeria noticed how striking they were with her white hair.

“Well
, dear…” She shook her head disapprovingly. “This simply won’t do! Do you suppose that this is doing
him
any good?

“Alex?”

Shinsu’s face became even more irritated. “Well,
who do you think
, dear?” she huffed. “You are the one he loves more than life and you treat yourself like…” Shinsu lifted her hands.

“How does he know?”

“Well, there are rules! But then, as you know, Alexander Morgan isn’t going to just leave you on your own.”

“He’s here?”

“No, dear. He can’t do that! I thought he explained that to you. Alex is out of your life.”

Tears welled in Valeria’s eyes and she looked away.

“Ah, new love. You know after a few centuries, it really isn’t such a big deal. After all, from everything I’ve heard, you don’t even bear his mark. It isn’t like he’s your symbolon.”

Valeria narrowed her eyes at Shinsu and
, for once, anger welled inside her until she could no longer contain herself. “I don’t understand how you can make that declaration so easily.” Valeria’s rage increased, and with every word, she was more certain of her statement. “Alex
is
my symbolon—
with or without the mark!
So don’t you or any of your other council members dare talk to me about my heart or his! If you say that Alex and I aren’t meant to be together then you simply don’t know us!”

Pulling back, in surprise, Shinsu responded slowly, “I see.” She thought for a moment. “I do remember my first husband—my symbolon. I remember how that felt.” She pursed her lips
. “Yes, I believe Alex may be your symbolon.” She nodded. “But it won’t change a thing until the next council meeting 500 years from now.”

Shinsu continued, “So
, dear, there have been several urgent requests to the council from your young man. He absolutely insists that Immanuel be able to attend to you as a patient here. I happen to agree. You have some extenuating circumstances.”

“Mani!” Valeria’s face was hopeful. “I can see Mani?”

“Well, he is permitted to attend to you. You must understand that Immanuel must be cautious in his discussions with you so as to not violate our laws. Now…I must be on my way. I am going to leave you my card—I do agree with Alexander that you must have a fellow immortal to talk to. Call me or come to see me if you like.” She handed the card to Valeria. “In the meanwhile, you simply must begin taking better care of yourself!”

“Will you tell Alex that I—”

Shinsu shook her head. “No, dear! I cannot tell Alex anything from you!” Valeria swallowed and nodded.

Just then
, Mani walked in and she could see the pain in his eyes. “Valeria,” he said softly. Shinsu nodded at Mani.

“All right
, young lady! You have my card. Don’t lose it!” Shinsu commanded, shaking her finger at Valeria.

As Mani approached her bed, Valeria threw her arms around his neck. “Mani! Is…everyone okay? How is he?”

“Valeria, please forgive me, but I cannot discuss…the situation. It places everyone at risk if I do.” He shook his head mournfully. “Let’s take care of business before we discuss other issues. Do you have any pain in your chest?” She shook her head, no. “Take a deep breath, please…thank you.” The cold of his stethoscope moved from one side of her back and then to the other side. “Another?” She drew another deep breath. “Thank you.” He moved the stethoscope again. “And once more…good.” He breathed out in relief and stepped around to face her. “Valeria, I’ve already reviewed your chart and I don’t see any sign of pneumonia.”