The Widow and the Orphan (21 page)

“What the devil are you doing?”

“Shit!”

Pepper nearly fell off the step stool. She had been on her tiptoes measuring Gavin’s windows when Gabe surprised her.

“Be careful!” He rushed forward to place his hands firmly on her hips. When he squeezed, Pepper squealed.

“You keep doing that and I really will fall!” She slapped at him playfully and laughed, turning back to the task at hand. “I thought some new curtains or window treatments in here would be nice. Something more kid friendly.”

“That makes sense. Where is the boy?” Gabe looked around the room.

“He’s out in the back with Crank. Said he was going to teach him how to walk on a leash.”

“Are you serious?” Gabe stepped around Pepper to peer through the window down into the backyard.

“I told him it was probably a lost cause. I know cats can be taught anything, but Crank’s a little bastard.” Pepper snorted and closed the tape measure to climb down off the stool. She made some notes on a piece of paper and then stuffed it in her pocket.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Gabe pulled on her arm, pointing out the window. Gavin actually had Crank in a harness and walking around the backyard.

“That kid is something else.”

Every day there was something new or special they were discovering about Gavin and his charms. The cats all adored him and followed him around the house, even ignoring Pepper and Gabe. Even though they still didn’t know what level of schooling he’d had, Gavin proved to have thoughts and opinions far more mature than the average ten year old. Watching the news, he would often ask questions and converse with them about the things he saw. After the moment in the hot tub when he had finally released some of his sadness and frustration, Pepper and Gabe could see the marked difference in his attitude. He moved through the house with a newfound confidence. When he wanted something, he asked for it, always using his manners, but no longer coming across as timid or scared. It had only been a few days, but still, progress was progress to her way of thinking. She and Gabe had both decided that they would let him get a little more comfortable before they brought up the subject of his mother again.

“He’s going to need a lot of stuff, babe.”

“Like what?” Gabe scratched his head.

Pepper stared at him in irritated disbelief. “Really? Did you not notice that he only came with one suitcase? The backpacks had his toys in them.”

Gabe took a step toward the bed and sat down. “How stupid of me. I’ve been in a bit of a fog since his arrival. Well, it’s no matter. He shall have everything he needs. Make a list.”

Pepper pulled the piece of paper from her pocket and waggled it at him. “That’s what I’ve been doing.” She sat down beside him so he could see. “Clothes, from the skin out. New sheets and blankets. Stuff for the bathroom. Plus, I think he should be allowed to pick out some things for his room, don’t you?”

“Indeed.”

“I want his room to look like a boy’s room, not just a guest room with a boy in it, you know?” Pepper glanced around with disapproval.

“Of course. It sounds like your specialty, darling. A shopping excursion.”

Pepper laughed and kissed him on the cheek. “Yes, indeed. Shall we go out to lunch first?”

Gabe hesitated and then slowly shook his head. “I must be honest, love. I’m feeling a little tired today. And I have quite a few phone calls to return for work. Would you mind possibly taking Gavin yourself?”

Pepper’s eyes narrowed with misgiving. “Tired, huh?” She raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

Gabe patted her hands and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Yes, I’m aces. I think all the stress and activity has caught up with me. An afternoon running from store to store isn’t all that appealing at the moment.”

Pepper couldn’t determine if he was telling the truth or hiding something.
He’s getting better with his poker face
. His color was good and he’d eaten a decent breakfast, so she decided to trust him. Her gut wasn’t disagreeing. “All right. You stay here and get some rest. The kid and I will set the Amex on fire.”

“Sounds wonderful.”

Gabe stood up and Pepper followed suit. They walked hand in hand down the stairs and out to the backyard where Gavin was still leading Crank around.

“See? I told ya I could do it!”

The adults both clapped their hands and cheered him on while Crank looked nonplussed.

“Okay, kid. Put the cat in the house. You and I are going shopping.” Pepper grinned and shook her fists with excitement.

Gavin’s smile disappeared. “Shopping? Bo-o-ring.”

“Wait a second. This is for you. New clothes, some swim trunks. Junk for your room. Don’t you
want
to do that?”

“Nah.” Gavin bent down to pick up Crank and cuddle him to his cheek. “You can pick out stuff. I don’t care.”

“Well what the hell?” Pepper sniffed.

Gabe stifled a smile and put his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth. “I’ve got this,” he whispered to Pepper. Walking over to the boy, she could barely hear what he was saying. “Gavin, I think you should go with Pepper. She won’t know what sizes to get. And if you don’t join her, she may come home with Hello Kitty or Barbie or some other such nonsense for your knickers.”

Gavin’s eyes grew large and he took off for the house in a dead run.

* * * * *

“Let’s start with Target.”

Pepper maneuvered the Land Rover through the neighborhood and out onto the main road. “It’s my favorite, and they have some pretty cool stuff there.”

“Whatever.” His attitude was noncommittal as he stared out the window.

Pepper frowned and glanced at him every few seconds. “Are you really that irritated to have to be going shopping?”

Gavin turned his face to her and Pepper nearly veered off the road. The hostility in his eyes was unmistakable. He looked like he was about to tell her off or smack her.
Try it, kid. It’ll be the last thing you do
.

“You aren’t my mom.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. Already
? Pepper whipped her head around to make sure there wasn’t a car in her way and she changed lanes to pull into a McDonald’s parking lot. She found a space and then put the car in park. She hung her arm over the steering wheel and turned to face him straight on.

“Okay, kid. Let’s have it. What brought this on?”

Gavin crossed his arms against his chest and slunk down into the seat, a half sneer, half scowl on his face. “I know what you’re tryin’ ta do.”

Pepper nodded. “Tell me. What is it you think I’m trying to do?”

Turning, he gave her a vicious glare. “You’re tryin’ to be my mom! I won’t let you take my mom’s place!”

Pepper flinched as though he had slapped her. She threw her hands out in defense. “Gavin, I swear I’m not.”

Gavin’s eyes filled with tears and they clung to his eyelashes, which were long and thick.
Eyelashes I’d kill for
, Pepper thought, then shook her head.
Not now, you idiot
.

“Honey, I know I’m not your mom. All I wanted to do was get you some new clothes and stuff for your room.”

Gavin scrubbed at his eyes, spreading the wetness across his cheeks. “My mom always picked out all my clothes. She
knew
what size I was. Am. You don’t know
anything
!” He pressed his face into his hands and sobbed.

Pepper sat stock still, in shock, not knowing what to do. He’d been so friendly and sweet the last couple of days, like he was really getting comfortable. Settled. And when they left the house, he had the biggest smile on his face.
This is why I didn’t have kids
! she screamed in her own head. The harder he cried, the harder her instincts urged her to grab and hug him.

So she followed them. Unbuckling her belt and flinging it behind her, she half climbed half leaned over the console and clutched at the crying boy. He struggled at first, but then slumped into her arms. Pepper fumbled with his seatbelt and let it loose so she could pull him closer. “Gavin, I’m sorry. I never meant to upset you.”

Gavin growled and then pressed his mouth into her shoulder and let out a wounded scream. It scared Pepper to death. It was one thing to support and love a best friend through her grief, but it seemed like nothing compared to that of a child who’d just lost his mother. As he continued to whimper and shed his tears, Pepper’s nerves twisted and knotted together as she realized that he would most likely lose his father as well.

* * * * *

“Back so soon?”

Pepper and Gavin came in through the front door to find Gabe lounging on the couch with his cell phone resting on his chest and a script in his hand.

“Well, honestly, we didn’t really feel much like shopping.” Pepper’s one hand rested on Gavin’s shoulder and she brought the other one up behind him to make a slashing motion across her throat as she shook her head. The boy never noticed, and Pepper let out a silent sigh of relief.

“Not today,” Gavin said softly. Crank came running up to him and he lifted the kitten up to his chest. Without another word, he ran up the stairs to his room with the cat, shutting the door behind them.

“What happened?” Gabe asked, keeping his tone soft, almost a whisper.

“He lost it.”

Pepper told Gabe the whole story and how she had handled it. “So when he finally stopped crying, I promised him that I would never, ever take his mother’s place. I could be his friend, he could call me Auntie Pepper if he wanted. It didn’t matter. All I wanted was for him to feel safe.”

Gabe pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead over and over. “You did the right thing, love. I’m so grateful to you. And proud.”

Pepper only shrugged. “I’m thinking we need to get that kid some counseling. I can take any crap he wants to shovel on me because I know he’s hurting. But I sure as hell don’t want to screw him up any more than he already is.”

“Hmm.” Gabe’s lips rested against the top of her head. “You’re probably right. Maybe when the DNA results come back, it’ll help him to feel more secure, yeah?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Pepper said nothing else as she reclined in his arms. What good would those results do if the kid was just going to lose his dad anyway? Just when he finally felt safe again, the fucking cancer would pull the rug out from under him, again. And she would be the one left with a shattered heart and a destroyed child.

“What do you say you and I go for a little drive?”

Gabe looked down on Gavin who sat on the floor in his room playing with Legos later that afternoon. They’d both ended up taking naps, though for very different reasons. When Pepper had returned home with her tale of distress, Gabe had felt his hopes for a smooth transition sinking into the ground. Wanting to think, he’d gone upstairs to lie down. On his way to his room, he’d checked on Gavin and the boy was fast asleep with Crank curled up next to his stomach.

“What kind of adventure?” Gavin looked back down to his pieces.

“Do you like ice cream?”

“Duh,” Gavin sighed. “Do you know a kid who doesn’t?”

Gabe laughed and then hunkered down to be closer. Gavin’s words might have been a tad precocious, but his tone of voice was light and tinged with humor. “I don’t believe I do. I have a craving for some ice cream and thought you might like to join me.”

Dropping the plastic parts, Gavin stood up. “Okay. But I haven’t had my dinner yet.”

“Bah? Who needs dinner sometimes? Once in a while, ice cream can be the dinner.”

Gavin started to follow him out of the room, then hesitated. “Is Pepper coming?”

“Not this time. She’s gone to see her friend, Miss Vivienne.”

Gavin’s face was a mixture of relief and disappointment, which bode well for the conversation Gabe intended to have with him. “Does that make you sad?”

“No, well, I mean, kinda.” Gavin’s eyes darted around the room and he rubbed the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“She’ll join us next time.”

“Okay.”

They went to the garage and climbed into the Range Rover and Gabe drove them a few miles away to a small ice cream shop he and Pepper had found. “They have more flavors than anyone around. You’ll love it.”

“Okay.”

Gavin raced to the front door and held it open for Gabe.

“Thank you, son.”

Once inside, Gabe was pleased to see Gavin’s eyes open wide at the more than forty choices of flavors. “How am I ever gonna pick?”

The man behind the counter smiled and welcomed them. “You can taste any flavor you’d like before you choose.” His Armenian accent was thick and his voice was booming.

Gabe patiently waited as Gavin asked to try at least a dozen flavors before he settled on something multicolored named Superman. Leading him to a small table, they sat down. “Aren’t you having any?”

Gabe shook his head. “No, I’m not very hungry. But you enjoy yours.” He let the boy savor the sweet treat for a while before he spoke. “Pepper told me about what happened today.”

Gavin stopped eating and slumped in his chair. He let the spoon stick up straight out of the ice cream. “I’m sorry.”

Gabe flinched, choosing his next words with care. “Don’t be sorry, Gavin. You have every right to be upset and to all of your feelings, no matter how terrible they might seem. You’ve had a very difficult time. It doesn’t matter how many times we tell you that we’ll be here for you, I understand that trust is an issue.”

Gavin stared at the ice cream and then peeked at Gabe quickly before looking away. “I didn’t mean to yell at her.”

“She knows that.”

“Is she mad at me?”

“Of course not. She’s worried about you.”

Gavin’s head bobbed up. “Really?”

“Of course. She likes you.” Gabe nodded his head and crossed his heart with his index finger.

The boy wrinkled his nose and Gabe had to look away to keep from laughing. “How can she like me? She doesn’t know me yet.”

Gabe reached across the table and ruffled the boy’s hair. “Oh Gavin. It’s so very easy to like you. You’re kind and polite. You have very good manners, which you no doubt learned from your mother. You are very smart and funny. What’s
not
to like?”

Gabe was worried that he wasn’t getting through. He had no experience with children. He didn’t know what worked and didn’t. All he could do was speak the truth from his perspective and hope that the child would believe him. About to give up hope and try another tactic, Gabe was gifted with the most beautiful smile Gavin had ever worn. It reached his large green eyes, making them shine. His cheeks were puffed and rounded with it, and every one of his teeth seemed to show.

“Thanks.”

Over the moment, Gavin grabbed his spoon and tucked back in to the ice cream, devouring it like it was the last time he’d ever get some.

“You sure you aren’t gonna have some? This is the best ice cream I’ve ever had.” Gavin’s lips were stained blue and his tongue was multicolored.

Gabe rubbed his chin and smiled. “I think you’ve changed my mind.” He went to the counter and ordered himself a cup of chocolate chip just in time to see Gavin take his last bite. Knowing he would regret it, he handed the boy some money and told him to go get another scoop of anything he wanted.
May well spoil him a little while I can
.

This time he came back with chocolate fudge and Gabe wondered if he’d made the right choice in allowing more sweets. “I hope you don’t get a stomach ache.”

“Nah. I could eat ten scoops and be okay.”

“Well, I don’t believe we’ll do that. But who knows? I may surprise you one of these days.”

They ate together in comfortable silence, Gabe enjoying the sounds and sights of Gavin slurping and gobbling his treat. “Try to go a little easier on Pepper, yeah?”

Gavin looked up, chocolate dripping from his lips. He nodded a little and said, “Okay.”

“She’s a very wonderful lady, Gavin. I know in time you’ll come to like her just as much as I do. She doesn’t expect you to think of her as a mom.”

The little boy lifted the cup to his lips and tipped it back to lick the last few drops of melted ice cream. When he set the cup down, he looked right at Gabe. “I know. I get that now.”

“You can always talk to us. Tell us what you’re feeling and we’ll try to help you. But if you don’t talk to us, we can’t help you. All right?”

“Yes, sir.”

Gabe grinned and finished the last bite of his dessert watching the gears in the boy’s mind spin around. “Is there something you want to tell me now?”

“Well…” Gavin chewed on the plastic spoon. “I just want you guys to know that if you don’t end up wanting me, please don’t send me back to Kentucky.”

Gabe gulped and tried not to go insane with the anger he felt exploding in his guts. “Gavin, I’ll keep telling you this every minute of every day if I have to: we are
not
going to get rid of you. There will be no trips to the orphanage or foster care system. You are a part of our lives forever.”

Gavin was staring at him with a mixture of hope and disbelief. Gabe knew it would take a very long time for optimism to conquer the boy’s fears of being abandoned again. He had very little time to convince Gavin that he would never again be left to the mercy of people who didn’t love him. He prayed that God would give him enough time to win this particular battle.