This Girl Stripped (19 page)

Shit.

Just when life starts to become uncomplicated again, something happens to send shit right back into a tailspin.

We walk into the bright blue painted house in the center of town that housed the midwives’ practice. River is on one side of me and Diesel on the other. I didn’t think River would show up. With everything going on, I completely forgot I’d even invited him.

“Paisley Bloom?” A sweet woman says from a doorway. She is motherly and warm. Her smile makes any bit of fear I had about this appointment completely melt away. She wears the wrinkles of her age with perfection and her long grey and white hair is braided - stopping right above her butt.

I stand up and both men by my side in no time. The woman doesn’t give a nasty look, she invites both of them back with us.

“Sarah King, nice to meet everyone,” she extends her hand in greeting to both men. They take it and introduce themselves. Her eyes travel between the two men. They are truly the polar opposites in every way. River is tall and lean. The piercing in his lip and his spiked black hair. He has the traditional punk rock look. Diesel is much taller, his brown hair is floppy, but slicked back. His eyes are warm and even with the stubble on his face, he isn’t scary at all. Today he looks like your normal nine to five business man. Dress slacks, a button down shirt. Far from the biker in jeans and his cut I saw last night.

These are the moments that make me think I could spend the rest of my life with him. Because there really are two different sides of Diesel. This side, and then biker Diesel. I shake my confusion away as we go over the details of my medical history with Sarah.

The irregular periods, the abortion, lack of sexual partners before these two men, virginity, lack of proper GYN care in my youth thanks to my parents. All of it. Then we get to the whole issue of paternity. She seems completely unfazed by any of it. I guess that’s part of her job. I mean, being here in Woodstock, I’m sure she has seen and heard much worse over the years.

“Well, I have to say we don’t get this situation every day. But, we also don’t get such responsible adults willing to step up in paternity cases either. I’ll put the paperwork together today, and draw the blood if that’s okay with everyone?” One look at the men, and we were all in agreement. In a couple days we would know exactly who the father of the baby was and finally, I could get on with my damn life.

“Now who wants to see the baby?” Sarah asks us all. I’m excited, but heartbroken because I know soon enough, one of these two men will be sad over losing the future with this baby.

“We’re gonna do a little ultrasound so we can get some more accurate dates for you guys. It will help narrowing down the conception date as well, but nothing is certain until we get those tests back.” We all sit back and watch in awe as the midwife runs the wand over my lower belly. The jelly stuff is cold and it sends a small shiver through my body. Both men take notice, and move to sit at my sides.

River sits on my left side, and Diesel on my right. As the screen comes to life, they both hold my hand and we share this moment together. She types a couple things in, presses a couple buttons and it zooms in on the little mini person. There isn’t much there, but the one thing that stands out is the little flash on the screen. It’s the heartbeat. I don’t need her to tell me that because it’s clear as day.

On the little black and white screen, I can clearly make out the head, body, and the little beginning nubs of arms and legs, all while the heart continues flashing across the screen. Both men hold on tight to my hands, Diesel squeezes tight and River just continues to stare at the screen in a state of shock.

“Its like a little person,” he says quietly while staring.

“It’s a little person, River. Looks like we are almost at the ten week mark here, so about a week further along than you thought.” Sarah mentions. “September 12th is the date I would estimate, but those are just dates. The baby will come when he or she is ready. They always have their own agenda.” I want to laugh, until I realize I’m going to be fat and miserable all damn summer long.

We all sit back and get to listen to the heartbeat, Sarah gives me some nutrition information and some home remedies for morning sickness. She directs me to keep up with the over the counter pre-natal vitamins I picked up and if anything happens, to call the office or come in.

River, Diesel, and I all have our blood drawn for the fancy new paternity test and she lets us know it may take up to a week to get the results back because we’re pretty rural and the test has to be completed in the city. A week is nothing compared to waiting until the end of my pregnancy, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t care if it was a damn month. I just want to know before both men are strung along for the entire pregnancy.

“Well, it was nice to meet you boys. I know I won’t be seeing both of you again, but I wish you both well.” Could she be anymore polite? I really love this woman, and I know I want her by my side, taking care of me for this entire pregnancy.

River pulls me to the side, and I feel awkward as Diesel watches us from a few feet away.

“No matter what happens, Paisley. I want you to know I’ll always love you.” He kisses me on the cheek and walks away, getting in his car as quickly as he can to make his escape. It’s typical of him. The smallest bit of emotion followed by running.

Once again I can feel tears pooling in my eyes. I hate crying. I hate being that girl. I hate the way he can continue to get to me with a few simple words and turn my world upside down. Not that I haven’t done that to myself. A single tear slips down my cheek and I wipe it away quickly, hoping that Diesel doesn’t notice. I don’t want him having a reason to get into it with River again, especially as we wait in the parking lot of the midwives’.

This should be the happiest moment of my life. I just got to see my baby on the screen. Hear his or her little heart beat pitter patter through the small exam room. I got to share this with two men whom I genuinely love. I truly am in love with two men and no matter how I slice it, I probably always will be. I’ve laid in bed so many nights wondering how I could be so strongly connected to two people. When I’m with Diesel and we’re happy, I sometimes find myself feeling as though I’m betraying River. Even though I know I’m not.

Or other times while Diesel and I are together, I feel like a shitty girlfriend for thinking about River in the way I do. I shouldn’t, and it’s wrong but it’s something I just can’t help.

Maybe it’s time I take a break for myself. Between the shit that happened yesterday with Zane and Diesel and my god… Seven. And everything I’m feeling right now it’s probably best for me to straighten my head out until the paternity test results come back. Then my future will be paved clearly for me. At least I hope.

“Seven?” I yell through the house, pacing around looking for her. I haven’t seen her since the basement last night. The same basement which is now spotless, like nothing ever happened. I don’t care how, or why. I just want to distance myself as far from it all as I possibly can.

In fact, tonight I am going back to my house. I can’t stay here. I can’t think about everything that has taken place in the last twenty four hours without wanting to be sick.

“Paisley, where the hell have you been?” Seven barrels around the corner from Star’s bedroom. Her hair is pulled up in a messy bun on top of her head and she’s wearing Star’s one piece My Little Pony pajamas. It’s truly a hysterical sight.

“I had my first pre-natal appointment this morning. Why? What’s going on?” She looks frantic and I am not sure what’s going to come out of her mouth next. She was so wound up last night, I’m beginning to worry about her sanity.

“Levi is on his way. He knows. Somehow he knows everything, Paisley.” She’s yelling now. Her hand grasps my arm, and she pulls me close. “I don’t know what to do, Paisley. He’s freaking out. I’ve never heard him this mad. Ever.” What the hell do I say to something like that?

“How does he know, Seven?” It isn’t like anyone who was there last night picked up the phone and called in her actions to her husband. Those guys know better.

“Chrome called him. Can you believe it? Apparently him and Star are on their way back because they’re worried about me. Saying I lost it! Can you believe that?” She’s rambling and her words are starting to blend together. It’s hard to understand her words. I wrap my arms around her and slowly try to talk her down. It’s clear everything that’s happened in the past couple days really is getting to her; mentally at least. I can’t get inside her head, but between her childhood and the unexpected news of parenthood; oh … and killing a man that would pretty much do anyone in.

“It’s okay, Seven. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Let’s go up to my room and you can relax a bit, okay?” I have to baby her. She’s delicate. I kind of want to whisk her away to the hospital where they could properly take care of her, but I know she would probably just off me on the way there.

Once I get her tucked into my bed, she passes out and I text Star for help.

Seven lost it. Don't know how to deal with her. When are you coming back?

The woman I always looked up to is crumbling and it’s all my fault. I need to help her. I need to fix this. I need to make everything right.

I text Diesel for backup since I only allowed him to drop me off. I’d gone from needed space from him, to needing his help desperately. Will my life always end up this way?

Seven fell off the deep end. Can you come help me?

I only hope that he isn’t too busy with anything and everything else right now. Club business and work mostly. He leaves in three days, on the road again with Chrome, and I thought I would be happy with the space, but the more I think about it, the more I don’t want him to go at all.

I hate myself. I’m officially becoming that annoying girl that has no fucking clue what she wants. I’m going to drive myself insane. Because clearly I’m driving everyone around me crazy. Poor Seven.

Star texts me back, and I find a bit of relief.

On our way. Levi may get there first.

Shit. That’s not something I want to be stuck in the middle of.

I can only do my best and try and do what I think is going to be best for Seven. No matter what that turns out to be.

Crazy Train

I thought I’d seen the worst of what could come from Seven. But, I hadn’t seen anything. When Levi arrived at Star’s house, only a half hour before Star and Chrome, the crazy train might as well have pulled in with him. It was downright scary. When Seven said that Levi was pissed, it was an understatement.

She ran and tried to hide from him like a scared child. He used their daughter as ammunition through his verbal attack. Spouting off about how she would never see her own baby once she was born. If I was Seven, I would have run from him too. I was scared for her. But what Levi wasn’t understanding was the bigger picture.

It wasn’t until Star and Chrome arrived that he realized this wasn’t about her acting out or taking the law into her own hands. This was about her being seriously sick. Little things had seemed off with her, but it was clear she was suffering some kind of serious mental break.