To Love and to Cherish (21 page)

Luke moved so he stood next to Emma. “We’re not leaving until we see him.”

The doctor nodded. “He’ll be transferred to the ICU shortly. You may look through the window at him then, but that’s as close as you can get for now. I’ll let you know when the transfer is made.”

“I appreciate that.” After the doctor disappeared down the hallway, Luke turned to Emma. “Take them to the cafeteria. I’ll stay here until he comes back.”

“But what about the hotel—”

“One thing at a time, Emma.”

The calm determination in her brother’s face comforted her. Luke would handle this. He would know what to do. “Should I bring you something?”

“No.” The bob of Luke’s Adam’s apple told Emma he felt the same nausea she did. He gripped his suspenders with both hands, his knuckles white. “I’m not hungry.”

Emma hated to leave him, but the determined set of his shoulders told her he wouldn’t budge. After a few trial and error turns, she managed to guide the others to the cafeteria. The aroma of fried meat and baked breads mingled together led them through the double doors. The array of food behind the long counter boggled the mind. So did the prices.

“Cheeseburger and French fries.” Mark sounded faintly hopeful. He picked up a tray and grabbed silverware wrapped in a paper napkin. “Could I have that?”

Emma exchanged glances with Catherine. Her sister nodded. “Annie and I can share a plate. I’m sure it’ll be too much food for one person. What about you, Emma?”

Her imagination robbed her of her appetite. Poor Josiah’s bruised and battered head taunted her. “I’m fine. Maybe later.” She mentally counted the dollar bills and coins in her bag. She could cover the meals. But it was too expensive for all of them to stay for very long. And a hotel? How much would a room cost? Could they all stay in one room? She had no idea.

After they were settled at a table, meals in front of them, she stood. “When you finish, come back to the waiting room. Remember, the third floor.”

“Why are you leaving us?” Mark dropped his hamburger on his plate. Catsup splattered on his sleeve. It looked like blood. “Where are you going?”

“I’ll be in the waiting room with Luke.” Swallowing against the bile in the back of her throat, she worked to hide her own panic. “I don’t want to leave it all on his shoulders. I’ll take him a cheeseburger.”

She wanted Luke to eat, whether he liked it or not. A hamburger would be a treat, of sorts. She found him sitting with the Kauffmans. Apparently he’d shared the doctor’s news. Sarah sobbed quietly in the corner, a younger girl at her side.

“I brought you this.” She held out the paper bag. Grease made a widening circle on it. “You should eat.”

He took the sack. “Did you?”

She shook her head. Luke offered the food to Roy. “Maybe one of your children?”

Roy inclined his head in thanks and took the bag to his wife.

Luke pointed to the chair next to him. Emma sat down, and he leaned back until his hat touched the wall behind him. “I have a plan.”

He had a plan.
Thank You, God
. “I have to go back. There’s work to be done, and I can’t leave Leah with the baby coming soon. I’ll take Mark and Catherine with me.” He leaned forward and put both hands on his knees. “You and Annie will stay here to be with Josiah for the first shift. We’ll take turns.”

“What about school? What about Annie’s pie orders?”

“Catherine will do her house cleanings until she can find someone to substitute for her. Leah and the rest of the women can handle Annie’s pie and dessert orders for a while—unless the baby comes early.” Luke’s voice got stronger as he went on. Having a plan had taken some of the fear out of him. He had control. “I spoke to the bishop. The deacons will meet this afternoon with the parents, and they’ll choose a teacher to substitute for you for one week. Then you’re to return to finish out the semester and the Christmas pageant.”

The words sank in, but the topsy turvy place that was now her world couldn’t seem to process anything. “You used the phone?”

“Jah, this is an emergency.”

“I know that—”

“The bishop has agreed to our plan. He’ll talk about the financial needs with the deacons—”

“They just helped us with the barn.” Emma bit back a groan. The community did so much for them. She hated to rely on them once again. “They’ve done so much for us already.”

“They don’t begrudge us. We’ll help others when the need arises.” Luke frowned and rubbed a spot on his temple. “I’ll get a hotel room close to the hospital so whoever is staying can walk to and from. You have to be careful here. It’s different. Don’t walk alone after dark. You and Annie stay together when you’re outside the hospital. And it doesn’t matter where you are, the Ordnung still applies. Do you understand me?”

Her heart beating a staccato in her throat, she nodded. She’d never been on her own away from Bliss Creek. “I know that.” She had no desire to sample the life Josiah had been living. Look where it had led him. “We brought nothing with us.”

“Someone will bring your things. We’ll take turns. It’ll be fine.” Luke talked fast, as if he couldn’t wait to leave this place behind. “As soon as the doctors will let us, we’ll take him home. It’ll be best for everyone. He’ll heal faster among family and friends.”

Emma thought the same. She hoped they were right, that they weren’t underestimating the severity of Josiah’s injuries. What if he needed surgery on his brain? She knew little about these things, but the doctor had been very serious. Words like
swelling of the brain
made the hair on her arm prickle with fear and her stomach wrench into knots. “What if—”

“It’s wrong to question God’s will.” Luke’s tone brooked no argument. “Don’t worry. Put your faith in God.”

The sharp tone stung. Luke had changed so much since their parents’ death. Lost his joy. That’s what Leah thought. The burden on his shoulders weighed him down. He needed her help. She straightened. To help him, she must meet the problems head-on. “What about
Sarah? He’s not going to let her go that easily. He asked her to marry him.”

“He’d been drinking. That’s over. Roy will keep a much closer eye on his daughter now. And Josiah will see this life isn’t for him.”

Maybe. “She’ll want to be here for his recovery. I’ll talk to her about what’s best for Josiah.”

“And I’ll talk to her father,” said Luke. “I’ll let him know we’re taking Josiah home where he belongs. There’ll be no further contact.”

Please God, let Josiah see the error of his ways
. Luke didn’t know much about these things. He’d courted no one but Leah. They’d been baptized on the same Sunday and married not long after. He never seemed to have any reservations or regrets. Josiah might always have both.

She settled back in her chair, uncomfortable with its straight back and rough fabric. Nothing to do now but wait. And pray. His elbows propped on his chair, long legs stretched out, hands clasped tightly across his flat stomach, Luke leaned his head on the wall and closed his eyes. Emma couldn’t tell if he prayed or slept.

She tried to relax and let her mind drift. Living in a hotel room with her sister. The strangeness of it all pressed on her. The stares of strangers would follow them. The room would have electricity and a phone and a television. Those things didn’t matter. Only Josiah getting better mattered.

“What was Carl Freiling doing at the school?’

Luke’s hoarse question brought her upright in the chair. “Nothing.” She nibbled her lower lip. Not true. She couldn’t lie. “He wanted to talk to me.”

“About what?”

“Private matters.”

Luke opened his eyes. “There are no private matters between you and Carl.”

His stern tone riled her. Emma breathed. Luke had her best interests at heart, and he was the head of her household. “We’ve seen each other a few times…lately.”

“It’s not for me to know then.” Luke’s jaw worked. Disappointment showed in the way he stared across the room. “I had hoped you would choose another.”

“I haven’t made up my mind about anything.” Emma struggled with how much to say. “He’s persistent, but I have thoughts of…another.”

“Thomas, you mean?”

Of course, her brother knew. He and Thomas were friends. Had they talked about her? Discussed her? Her face burned. “Did he say something to you?”

“Of course not.” Luke shifted in the chair, a look of pain on his face. For a place of waiting, this room had awful chairs. “Do they know about each other?”

“Yes.”

“And they don’t mind?” His eyebrows tented. Incredulity filled his voice. “I can’t believe Thomas doesn’t mind.”

“Of course he minds. I mind. I didn’t choose this.”

“But now you do need to make a choice. And do it quickly, before the deacons find out you’re courting two men.”

M
uch to Emma’s relief, the entrance of Doctor Chavez ended the uncomfortable exchange with Luke. Her brother was right. She needed to finish her conversation with Carl when she returned to Bliss Creek. Then she could reach out to Thomas with a clear conscience, the past behind her. Resolute, she stood, her attention focused on the doctor and news about Josiah. “How is he?”

“He’s in the ICU. You may take a peek now.”

The walk back through the hallway seemed to take forever. Emma stood next to Luke at the window. Josiah looked very far away, but not so far that she couldn’t see his bruised face, swollen eyes, and purple lips. Machines made beeping noises in a monotonous tone that still seemed to shriek in the quiet of the ICU. A clear bag of some sort of liquid hung from a bar over his head, its tube running down to his arm. His shaggy brown locks of hair were damp and matted to his head.

“He’ll want his hat…now that he’s coming home.” It was a silly thing to say. As if Josiah would open his eyes and worry about his bare head. She couldn’t keep the tears in check. “We’ll have to fetch his hat.”

“Don’t cry.” Luke’s hoarse voice said the admonition was meant as much for him as for her. “Tears won’t help him.”

She swallowed hard and sniffed. “I’m not crying.”

Luke adjusted his own hat. “I’ll go then. The Carmichaels are waiting to take me to a hotel they recommend.”

Panic enveloped her. She pressed her hands against the glass, willing herself to be strong. “In the middle of the night?”

“Emma, it’s morning now. Day has dawned.”

Surprised, she looked around. With no outside windows, she’d lost all sense of time. Only the weariness in her bones told her it had been a long time since she’d slept. “So you’ll go. And I’ll wait here with Josiah.”

“We’ll drop Annie off here before we leave to go home. She’ll have the room key and all the information. The two of you can go back to the room so you may sleep and wash up.”

She couldn’t leave Josiah. What if he woke up? She simply nodded. Luke would be gone. What happened after that would be up to her.

T
he morning passed in a series of fits and starts. As hard as she tried, Emma couldn’t keep from drifting off. She awoke with a crick in her neck, embarrassed that the nurses might have watched her sleep. She shifted in her chair a few feet from the ICU and willed herself to keep her eyes open. Maybe if she moved around…

She stood, pushed through the double doors, and strode down a long hallway. In the bathroom, she splashed cold water on her face for a good two or three minutes. Then she washed her hands with the foamy, green liquid soap that came from an enormous upside-down dispenser. She inhaled its odd, harsh smell of apple. Her stomach heaved. Quickly, she fled the bathroom and began marching back and forth in the hallway.

“Hello, Emma.”

The timid voice pulled her from a painful reverie. With great reluctance, Emma looked up. A huge pink purse on one shoulder and a cell phone in her hand, Sarah stood at the double doors. “How he is?”

Emma returned to her pacing. “The same.”

A tiny sob burbled from the girl’s lips. She brushed away tears that made her eyes so puffy Emma couldn’t tell what color they were. “I know you blame me. My mother says I should leave you alone, but I came to say I’m sorry. This is all my fault. He wouldn’t have been out on that balcony if I hadn’t asked him to come to Wichita.”

Now that the time had come to confront Josiah’s friend, Emma found she couldn’t form the sentences. Exhaustion made it hard to remember what she needed to express to the girl. Emma rooted around in her small carry-all bag until she found a handkerchief.

She held it out. “Here. You need to stop crying. It only gives you a headache. I’ve been wanting to talk to you, anyway. Let’s sit down.”

Sarah’s cell phone buzzed. She looked at it, typed something using both thumbs, then turned back to Emma as if there’d been no interruption. “I didn’t think you would ever talk to me again.”

Despite all the worldly influences she was such a child, this object of Josiah’s affection. At seventeen, Sarah still had that innocent, naïve way about her. A maternal instinct flowed over Emma, leaving a bittersweet ache where her heart should’ve been. Whatever lay in the future, Emma wanted only to be kind. Firm, but kind. “Not speaking won’t help Josiah. Being angry with you won’t help him.”

She waved Sarah into a chair and sat across from her. Her hands tightly entwined in her lap, Emma searched for a way to begin. “What has Josiah’s life been like these last few months?”

Sarah relaxed against the chair’s rough fabric. Her eyebrows lifted and she cocked her head. “Well, pretty regular. I mean, he’s been fine. Except that my parents wouldn’t let me date him. We had to…” Her fair cheeks stained red. “We sort of snuck around so we could see each other. But he passed the test to get his GED. You must be a good teacher, Emma. He did great, with hardly any studying. He’s looking—was looking into taking classes at the community college.”

Just for a fleeting second, Emma allowed herself to feel a smidgen of satisfaction. Then the familiarity of the situation sank in. Carl too had gotten his GED. Carl had gone to community college. History repeating itself. She couldn’t let that happen. She forced herself to focus on the young girl sitting across from her. “It’s Josiah who is a good scholar.”