To Love and to Cherish (20 page)

Without answering, Luke pulled the door shut and sank onto the seat across from her. The van easily held the five of them. Josiah needed his family around him. Only the twins stayed back with Leah. The aunts would help with the work. The uncles would take care of the chores for as long as necessary. Luke had been terse about the call that came to the phone in Bishop Kelp’s barn—the phone used only for district emergencies. Emma tried again. “Luke, what did he say?”

“I didn’t talk to him myself. The bishop’s wife said Roy Kauffman wanted us to come right away.”

She followed his gaze to Mark, Annie, and Catherine. They sat stiffly in their seats, gazes directed toward the broad windows, watching the scenery flash by. They were listening, though, and he wanted to spare them. It was that bad.

“How did it happen?” Emma leaned forward and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Was he in a car accident?”

“She said something about a fall.”

A fall.

Ach, Josiah
.

Luke leaned toward her. His whisper did nothing to alleviate her fear. “He’d been drinking…alcohol. Sarah Kauffman was with him. They were arguing.”

And now the bishop knew about Josiah’s behavior. A shudder ran through Emma. The bishop might be the least of Josiah’s problems right now. “Was the fall an accident?”

Luke shook his head. “I don’t know.”

Emma stared out the window. The wings of exhaustion fluttered all around her. She closed her eyes, but the motion of the van sent a wave of nausea through her. She opened them again. Better not to focus on the rushing pavement under them or the air whooshing around them. It reminded her of the night she and Luke told Josiah about Mudder and Daed. So much had happened since then, yet nothing seemed changed. They still struggled day after day against a poor economy, against the fear that Josiah might never come home, and for her, against the odds of marrying and having children.

Now Carl Freiling claimed he still loved her. Thomas wanted her to choose him. She had to make a choice. Determined not to think about it, Emma closed her eyes and let herself drift. Went with the motion instead of fighting it. That’s what Thomas would do.

Thomas, with his earnest, simple ways. With his kind eyes and gentle heart. It was time she opened her heart to the possibility. He would always love Joanna and cherish the memories he had of their life together, but he had shown Emma that he was ready for a new season in his life. He was ready to make new memories. It was time for Emma to leave behind the past and to make new memories, too—memories that didn’t involve Carl or the past.

“This is what happens when a Plain person ventures into the world.” A tiny note of vindication flitted about in Luke’s sudden words. “Josiah will come home now.”

Emma forced her eyes open. Josiah reminded Emma of herself.
Stubborn. Besides, he thought he was in love with Sarah. If he hadn’t met her, Josiah wouldn’t have gone to Wichita, and he wouldn’t be in a hospital now. Sarah shouldered much of the blame. “Maybe. As long as Sarah is in the picture, I don’t think he’ll leave her. She holds too much sway over him. This is her fault.”

“It isn’t about blame. She’s only a girl.” Luke’s hands balled in fists. When he saw Emma’s gaze, he shook them out. “Besides, we don’t know what happened. He was drinking, maybe drunk. That’s not her fault.”

“If she hadn’t lured him to Wichita, none of this would be happening.”

“She isn’t to blame, and even if she is, we’ll forgive her.”

Emma turned to the window. She no longer wanted to talk to Luke. He demanded too much of her. God demanded too much. She leaned her forehead against the cool glass and waited. Waited to see if her brother would live or die. Would come home or stay. Would grow up or fade away. The minutes seemed to pass in slow motion. The van went faster than she’d ever traveled in her life, yet it seemed to crawl toward Wichita and her injured little brother. Time was not her friend.

“We’re here.”

Mr. Carmichael’s soft words made Emma want to whimper. Finally. Finally, they would know how badly Josiah was hurt and then they could do what needed to be done. The
whoop-whoop
of sirens screaming confirmed the driver’s words. The noise beat on Emma’s already throbbing head. They spilled out of the van and followed Luke’s lead into the emergency room. The startling clean smell of antiseptic mixed with the odor of people, lots of people, some of whom hadn’t bathed in a while. Bright lights. Official looking people scurried about. She tried to take it all in and nearly collided with a woman in green pants and a green shirt.

“Watch it!” The woman kept going. “Orderly, over here!”

“Sorry. So sorry.” Emma stumbled back a few steps. She grabbed Mark’s hand and rushed after Luke. “Catherine, Annie, keep up. Stay together.”

Mark dug in his heels, forcing Emma to slam to a halt. “What?”

He pointed to an enormous television screen mounted on the wall above the rows and rows of padded green chairs in the waiting room. The people in the chairs watched girls in skimpy bathing suits playing volleyball on a beach, the ocean glistening in the sun behind them as they squealed with laughter.

“Never you mind.” Emma pulled him forward. “We’re here for Josiah.”

Luke paused at a long, narrow counter. It took three attempts to get her attention, but the lady finally looked up. Josiah had been admitted. Paperwork needed to be done.

“We don’t have insurance.”

The lady’s knowing glance took in their clothes and frightened faces. She slid some papers toward Luke. “We still need these filled out. Your brother will be treated, regardless. Payment plans are available. The hospital knows your kind are good for it.”

Your kind. Good for it
. Emma tried to take no offense. The woman was right. The community would help them with more than chores and food. They’d help pay the bills.

“Where is he?” Luke’s voice choked. His fingers gripped the counter. His knuckles whitened. “We want to see him.”

Her face a little kinder, the lady picked up the telephone. “Fill out the paperwork while I contact the doctor.”

Luke snatched up the papers and pen. He surveyed the waiting room, his expression desperate. The commotion and noise, the people, they were all too much for him, too. Emma touched his arm. “Let me do it.”

She turned to Annie. “Take Mark and Catherine and find a seat.”

She tugged the papers from Luke’s hand and began to answer the questions as best she could. Amazing the things they needed to know, but anything was better than simply waiting, each second ticking away as she wondered.

Finally, a nurse appeared and shepherded them down a long hallway to an elevator. Mark’s mouth remained open the entire ride. The new waiting room held half a dozen people, including one Emma
recognized. Sarah Kauffman. Her face wet and puffy, the girl flew from her chair. “Did they tell you anything?”

“Sarah, sit.” A tall, angular man in a straw hat stood and held out a hand. He introduced himself as Roy. Sarah’s mother’s name was Grace. “We’re sorry to meet you under these circumstances.”

Luke shook his hand. He made no introductions. “Where’s the doctor? What does he say?”

“They just keep saying the doctor will come out to talk to us when he can.” Roy waved a hand toward a chair, but Luke remained standing. Emma stood next to him in silent support. Roy acknowledged her presence with a slight nod. “Josiah arrived unconscious. He has a possible head injury and broken bones. He fell from a second story balcony.”

Someone cried out. Emma couldn’t be sure if it was Catherine or Annie. Or maybe it was her own voice. Her stomach rocked. A buzzing sound filled her ears. She teetered a few steps and sank into the closest chair.

Sarah began to sob into a hankie. Roy’s gaze sought his wife. She went to her daughter and put an arm around her. “Come. You need to wash your face and get a hold of yourself. All this crying doesn’t help anyone.”

She shooed her daughter from the room with a soft, kind whisper that touched Emma’s aching heart. She wanted her mother to be here, to put an arm around her and say those words. To take the load she’d been carrying for the past few months. “How did this happen?” She didn’t recognize her own voice, it sounded so light and breathless. “What second story balcony? Was he pushed?”

Roy smoothed his beard, his expression pained. “Sarah is forbidden to see Josiah. He’s been staying with another family, but the temptation apparently became too great. After school Sarah slipped out of the house and met your brother at an Englisch friend’s apartment where they were going to play video games.” The anger in his face matched the anger in Emma’s heart. “No adults were there. These boys sampled the parents’ liquor cabinet. Josiah became drunk and then, according
to Sarah, he asked her to marry him. Showing the first bit of good sense in a long time, she said no. Your brother became angry.”

“That doesn’t explain how he ended up going over a second floor railing.” Luke paced the carpeted floor. “What does Sarah say about that?”

“He stood on the railing and threatened to jump if she didn’t change her mind.” Roy hesitated for the first time in telling the story. “I’m not sure what happened next. Sarah says it happened too suddenly for her to know exactly what he did or didn’t do.”

Roy didn’t voice the words, but the question floated in the air, heavy with ominous uncertainty.

Had Josiah tried to take his own life?

A
ch
, Josiah.” Emma couldn’t keep the words from bursting out. Nor the tears that followed. Worldly ways had brought him to the hospital and to this awful, perilous possibility. A Plain boy would not do what Roy Kauffman insinuated. Not Josiah. Not the brother she knew. She turned to Luke. “He’s mixed up, bruder, but not that mixed up. He values his life as much as you do, as much I do. He knows how much we’ve lost already—”

Mark tugged at her sleeve. “Why would Josiah drink alcohol? Deacon Altman says it’s bad. Mudder said we should never have alcohol.”

Emma swallowed the torrent of words that threatened to overcome her. She hugged her little brother. “Sometimes people make bad choices. You’re good to remember what Mudder said. Never forget it.”

She was thankful Mark wouldn’t be faced with these choices any time soon. Not for another six years, when his own rumspringa began. The thought sent an arrow plunging into her heart. Luke was right. New rules. Rumspringa or no, Mark would not be exposed to this world.

Before she could voice the thought, a short, brown man entered the room. With his white coat and stethoscope around his neck, he had to be the doctor, although he looked very young. He glanced around.
“Are you Josiah’s father?” He directed the question to Roy, who shook his head.

“His parents passed away.” Luke’s words held no emotion. “I’m his brother. We’re his family.”

“Could you excuse us for a few moments?” Again the doctor spoke to Roy. “For a family conference.”

Sarah and her mother stood at the door, but Roy herded them off. They gathered their things and straggled from the room. Sarah trailed after them. She kept looking back, her face full of sorrow and longing. Emma almost took pity on her, but the thought of Josiah on that railing kept her from opening her mouth. Again, forgiveness eluded her.

After introducing himself, Doctor Chavez asked Luke to sit, but he remained standing as if he wanted to run from the room. Maybe he wanted to rescue Josiah and take him home. “How is he? How’s Josiah?”

Doctor Chavez sat down across from Emma and steepled his stubby fingers. “Your brother is a very lucky young man.”

Luck was a foreign concept. One did not have luck. Things happened according to God’s will. Emma tried to concentrate. “But he’s hurt.”

“He fell from a second story balcony. Fortunately, his fall was broken by bushes outside the building. As a result, he suffered a concussion, a broken collar bone, broken ribs, two broken fingers, contusions and abrasions—bruises and cuts—but he’s in remarkably good shape considering how bad it could’ve been.”

Catherine began to sob, Annie with her. The two clung to each other. Emma gritted her teeth and tried to stop the flow of her own tears. “But he’ll heal?”

“Yes, in time.”

“How much time?”

“It’s hard to say. We’ll know more when he’s awake.” Doctor Chavez tilted his head, his lips pursed. “But to be honest, I’m more concerned about your brother’s mental state.”

“Mental state?” Luke’s gaze turned steely. “What do you mean?”

“The officers at the scene reported that there’s a possibility that your brother jumped. Witnesses said he was intoxicated and behaving erratically prior to the accident.”

“You’ve hit the nail on the head, Doctor.” Luke crossed his arms, his posture tense. “He was drunk. It was an accident.”

“All the same, I’d like to have him evaluated by a mental health professional before he’s released.”

“He’ll be fine as soon as we get him home.” Emma wanted her brother to sleep in his own bed. She wanted to care for him herself. Surrounded by love, he would get better much more quickly. “He needs his family.”

“I’m sorry. In this particular case, it’s not up to you.” Doctor Chavez’s tone was apologetic, but firm. “We have protocol to follow in incidents such as this.”

“What do you mean?”

“When someone is brought into this hospital who is a possible threat to himself or others, we have an obligation to treat those problems as well as any physical problems.”

A threat to himself or others. Josiah felt things more deeply than most, but he would never hurt anyone. “We want to see him.” Emma rose. “We want to see him now.”

“Your brother is sedated.” Doctor Chavez’s kind tone never wavered. “We’re monitoring him closely for brain swelling. He’ll remain sedated at least until tomorrow. You should all get some sleep yourself.”

The doctor rose and walked to the door where he paused, one hand on the frame. “I know this is overwhelming for you. It’s certainly not what you want to hear, but I promise you we’ll do everything we can to help your brother. He will get better. You’ve had a long, stressful day. You probably haven’t thought to eat. I suggest you visit the cafeteria.” His gaze traveled to Mark and the girls. “There are several good hotels in the vicinity. I’ll ask the office staff to advise you regarding their locations.”