Truth Meets Love (14 page)

If it is the same song and Ben is in there with her…

What the fuck? I have the door open swiftly before I even register what I am doing. Again.

The sight before me makes my guts clench and fingers knot into tight fists.

Ben is sitting on a chair in the middle of the room and Hadley is straddling him in her "black lace" panties, bra and garter belt. There is a black skirt pushed up around her hips, a cream colored blouse around her arms draped off her shoulders, and her black high heels still on her feet. His hands were down by his sides. Her barely covered tits are only a few inches from his fucking grinning face.

The music pulsing is the same song I saw her dance to that first time in the loft. It no longer feels special or beautiful.

I feel used and betrayed. Worse yet, I feel like a fucking fool. She may not be a stripper but that wouldn't even hurt as bad as this. She had my cock in her mouth just a few hours ago!

I thought we had something or were at least starting something. I am such a fucking idiot.

Ben catches my eyes and gives me a thumbs-up as I watch her back. She lowers herself and circles her hips above his thigh. She doesn't know I am there and I can't see her face. However, it doesn't appear like it would really matter to her. This fucking sick son of bitch looks like he thinks it is funny.

I was so wrong about her. How could I be this stupid again? The signs were all there and I still went for it. I back out of her front door and close it softly. I stand there on the porch behind the closed door, processing what just happened. My head starts to pound. I set Loosey down and set out for a very long walk.

HADLEY-

It is just a lap dance. I have done a thousand of these. I will just pretend it is my job and he is another paying customer. However, somehow this feels different than it did before. This is not on my terms. I am being blackmailed. I am being used.

I have no choice. He could ruin me--smash my dreams like a bug. I have to protect what I have earned at all costs. It is all I have.

I might need a stronger source of motivation to do this. My girl power is definitely waning with all of this drama unfolding around me. I will just close my eyes and pretend he is Tralen.

Joss starts to thump in my ears… I barely register the words. I still can't believe all that has happened in the last couple of days. I try to gain some clarity but all I see is Tralen when I close my eyes. This feels like I am betraying him… betraying his trust. It is just dancing but somehow this feels wrong on so many levels.

I anchor my resolve and tell myself it is only a dance. I can do this if it will save my career and my humiliation. My demise is inevitable if Tralen ever finds out about my past. He wouldn't understand.

I start to move to the last song that was queued up on my playlist… I am glad it is Joss. I need a strong, confident song because I am not feeling it.

I don't feel sexy right now; I feel cheap and used. I feel like I am turning into my mom. I thought I was free of this helpless, worthless feeling but I am not. I am right back where it all started.

This is my destiny. FUCK. THIS HURTS. No matter how hard I have worked to overcome it… this is all I will ever be. A nice C-cup and pert backside, and even that won't last.

I just want this to be over.

We drove to dinner in silence. In fact, I never uttered a word to Ben after the song finished. I grabbed my clothes and headed to the bathroom to dress and straighten up my disheveled appearance before dinner. I came out, I didn't make eye contact, and I started to walk past him to head for the door. When I am about to tell him I would be more comfortable taking my own car, he violently grabs my arm and squeezes tight as he drags me through the door saying, "Ready, love? Let's go have a nice dinner and show Mr. Greyson what a kick-ass team we are. We need to reassure him that his legacy is in very capable hands."

He ushers me swiftly to the passenger side of his car, while holding my hand and applying a little more than comfortable pressure against my aching knuckles.

I hate this fucking prick. I wish Dez were here; she would know what to do. Dez and Pugs are the only people I have ever confided in about my life before I changed it.

I just want to get through dinner and get back home. I don't want the loft, and I am not sure I ever want to go back in there now. Something has changed. It feels like dancing will no longer bring me the peace it used to now that Ben knows my secret.

All I want is Tralen. I want him to hold me and for once in my life feel safe and loved. I want to tell him everything. It is a risk I have to take, I trust him.

If I go along with Ben's arrangement he claims he won't tell anyone about my past as long as he keeps his lucrative career at Greyson Capital when I take over. However, I can't work with someone like that. I would rather cut my losses and start again with another firm. If I have to go somewhere else and start at the bottom, I can do that. It wasn't that hard; it was a challenge and I enjoy those.

I should be celebrating the news about Mr. Greyson's plans and be excited, but I have never felt as dirty, alone and unworthy of all his praise as I do right now.

We reach the table reserved for Mr. Greyson. I see that he is already seated and waiting for us. Ben is walking just ahead of me with a death grip on my hand. Every time I try to pull it out, he tightens his hold.

I give Mr. Greyson a tight smile as he rises to greet us. He gives me a warm side hug and kisses my temple as he says, "You look lovely, Hadley."

Mr. Greyson pulls out my chair next to him; he glances over my shoulder to Ben with a knowing nod and continues to speak to me. "I have some very important news I want to share with you. Please have a seat."

Ben is on my left. Mr. Greyson is at my right.

I don't have to look surprised because despite Ben already telling me this is coming, hearing it come from Mr. Greyson's mouth is surreal. I never dreamed he felt I had that much potential or that he valued me at that level and held me in that high of a regard. I have a brief moment where I actually feel a sense of pride in myself before it all shatters.

I am ripped back into reality as Ben begins to speak. Ben is smiling and looking at me expectantly as he says, "Honey, I am so proud of you. I had the hardest time not telling you. I knew you would be excited."

He is trying to sound positive but I know how he really feels about the news. What a snake in the grass. I guess he fits the picture-perfect stereotype of an attorney.

I try for professional as I respond, looking right into his smug fucking face, "Thank you, Ben. I am excited about it. It is an honor to know Mr. Greyson thinks of me in such high regard that he would choose me as his successor, when I am sure there were some other very qualified candidates considered."

I know I am getting a jab in on Ben's ego with that comment, but this little heartless spoiled asshat is not going to ruin me. I earned this!

Mr. Greyson believes in me; Dez always believed in me. The list goes on: Shelby, Tyler and Mace believe in me… a lot of people do. Why can't I--or better yet, when did I stop?

I can't go down without a fight. I can't let someone like Ben deceive Mr. Greyson and potentially ruin the future of this company. I have to fight for what is mine. I need a plan.

I am barely registering that Ben's mouth is moving until the words dig into my ears like an ice pick. His warm sweaty hand crawls up my back. "Mr. Greyson, I have some news for you as well."

What's he doing? I thought he wasn't going to rat me out if I went along with his deal? I am so stupid.

I am trying to think of a way to derail the conversation when he begins to stand and then continues with, "I have asked Hadley to marry me and she has accepted."

When I grow rigid, he squeezes my shoulder, coming down to whisper in my ear. He makes the appearance that he is giving me a loving kiss to the cheek. "Come on, Destiny, smile!"

He stands back upright, leaving his hand on my shoulder. I am sitting in front, still rooted to my seat. I couldn't stand right now even if I wanted to.

"We have been a together for while and did not want it to interfere with our work out of respect for you, Sir. We are planning a very formal affair in two weeks' time at the Glass Garden. Having your blessing would mean everything to us."

I think I just swallowed my tongue…

Chapter THIRTEEN

Big Merger

HADLEY-

I get up after snoozing my alarm twice. I make my way to the bathroom. I turn back to the mirror and I see the dark bruise around my upper arm from Ben. I giggle out loud… as a thought occurs to me. I hope his dick hurts this morning after its introduction to my knee last night before dinner.

Fucking dinner… Ben has been planning this. Why? How long? How does he know so much about me?

At least Mr. Greyson looked almost as surprised as I was at Ben's proclamation of marriage. I have to give him some credit; maybe he thought that was as fucked up a proclamation as he would ever hear, as well!!!!

I am not marrying Ben. I am not going to let him use me to get what he wants.

I am not her
.

I will not be a doormat for Ben, or everything I have worked so hard to achieve is worth nothing anyway.

I have worked too hard and sacrificed everything for a chance at a better life for myself. I have my morals intact I never sold myself short; I was true to myself and I survived. What would it say to Dez if I were to give up now? She was always so proud of what I had accomplished and she knew everything there was to know about me. She loved me regardless… I just hope Tralen can overlook my past and choose to love me anyway.

Up until last night I was actually even proud to have been a stripper. It built character and courage and made me face my fears. I was good at it. Being a stripper isn't something to be ashamed of. What is is how easily I degraded my own value by letting Ben take advantage of my insecurities and making me feel like I was worth less than I truly am.

I gave him that power and now I need to take it back. I need to fix what he broke and reclaim my life, or at least what may be left of it when this is over.

I step up to Tralen's office door and take in a calming breath. I am just raising my hand to knock when it flies open and I look into his pained, tear-stained cheeks, his eyes filled with anguish and disgust--with me?

His hands are holding a large box with a plant and a few picture frames; his laptop bag is hung over his shoulder.

When I go to ask what is wrong and tell him everything I was holding back, everything he wanted from me. I get it now. When he said he didn't want to rush because he wanted to know me better first, he wanted me to trust him before he took all of me. He needed to make sure I knew he would never walk away, no matter what I told him. I had the opportunity and it is the one chance I didn't take that may cost me the most.

I had a chance at love with him by the look on his face and the words that are about to spew from his lips…

"Save your fucking lies for your fiancé…he just left. If you hurry, I am sure you can squeeze in another lap dance in the 'Wellness Room' before you guys give your big announcement. Good luck, Hadley. I hope you fulfill your destiny."

I am certain beyond a reasonable doubt that I have lost Tralen forever.

Tralen-

I am back to work this morning, barely. I feel like shit. I sat up with a bottle of Jack and after I ran out of ice, I just started drinking right from the bottle. I don't remember much--not sure where my phone went either. I couldn't find it this morning.

The walk with Loosey wasn't enough to clear my head after that show. All in "black lace."Ironically. I thought about going to a strip club but let's be real. In any other circumstance that may actually have helped get my mind off her.

The way she was straddling him during our song…FUCK…"our song"? I should have been honest with her right from the beginning; maybe it would have changed the outcome.

Would it change anything for her if she knew I loved her? FUCK! Did I love her? If so, do I still love her after what I saw? FUCK, MY HEAD HURTS!

I bring my hands down and sit up in my chair to try and focus on my laptop screen. I see a figure at my office door, leaning against the doorjamb. The rage burns in my already-bloodshot eyes.

Ben speaks, and it takes every ounce of restraint I have not to throw myself at him and throttle his fucking teeth down his smug fucking mouth. "Hey Tralen, I was hoping you had a minute so we can talk?"

I glare at him without saying a word as he steps inside my office and closes the door behind him. I stare down at my screen and try to keep calm and focus on the figures on the screen. If I look at this prick and his cocky fucking grin, I will snap.

Ben stands across the desk with a hand still on doorknob. I smile inwardly, knowing that he is keeping his distance. You would have to be a regular on the short bus to not to catch the rage that is pouring off me. He is a prick, but he is not stupid.

He has something to say, but he's scared. I can see it in his jaw and his eyes keep flashing around the room and not toward me as he speaks.

"I wanted to apologize for that little exhibit you walked in on at Hadley's yesterday. We kind of got caught up in the moment. She likes to play… and I was okay with her playing 'outside the play ground' while we were just fucking. I mean, we both travelled a lot and needed our 'comforts' when we weren't together. I wanted to thank you for taking care of my girl while I was unavailable. However, now that we are engaged, your services will no longer be required."

He opens the door ready to make his way out. He turns back. "We are planning a large ceremony at the Glass Gardens in two weeks. Please send me your address and I will personally make sure you get an invite."

On that note he shuts the door with a smug fucking smile on his pussy ass face.

FUCK THIS. SHE LIKES TO PLAY? MY SERVICES ARE NO LONGER REQUIRED?

I am out. I quit. I can't be around her or that jack wagon. I have some side jobs lined up that I can finish until I find a position with another firm. I will go back into construction if I have to. I pack up my few personal belongings in a box.