Truth Meets Love (18 page)

I realize at this point he knows about my past and our visit to the "Wellness Room."

Maybe I should have feel humiliated and fear losing my job but I really have no reaction to that part of his recounting of events leading to him saving us from Ben. No shame. No explanation. Other people's judgments or criticisms of me wouldn't mean squat at the moment. I am alive and Tralen is alive, thanks to Mr. Greyson. Thanks to my dad. However, we were both probably in the frightening situation to begin with because of him, as well. I can tell by the expression he is wearing, the guilt ringing his eyes, that he feels responsible for Ben's actions. I can't let him think that.

Mr. Greyson continues, "I got angry and confiscated his laptop since it is company property, and I had security throw him out of the building. When Ben was removed, I called Marcus. I was going to ask him get me some network data pulled to get a better idea of what Ben was conspiring on. I shared the high level details of what I needed and why. Marcus explained that you had already reached out to him with concerns about Ben. He informed me that he already had a lot of the information gathered and it was suspicious. The information he provided about Ben, along with the Will and Testaments Ben had drafted on his laptop for both you and myself set my alarm off. I had never asked Ben to do that. Marcus gave me your address and called the police and asked that they meet me over here because there could be a disgruntled employee executing his revenge on my… you."

He looks so beaten down. Normally Mr. Greyson is very confident, very handsome, strong and almost legendary in his appeal. He is well-spoken, witty and charismatic. However, I have never seen defeat in his eyes. He looks lost, almost childlike.

"Thank you for coming when you did. Please don't blame yourself for Ben's actions or his behavior. He had many peopled fooled, including me. I should have handled the situation with more caution and not been afraid to ask for help sooner. I think we all learned something here. We are all alive and have the chance to not repeat that mistake again."

I smile and squeeze his hand over mine with my other hand. Mr. Greyson hugs me and lets out a troubled breath. When we come to a stop, his hands are shaking slightly as he leads me from the car to the hospital room. Mr. Greyson gets on his phone and is making sure all the arrangements are made for the private wing and staff that will be treating Tralen while he recovers. His composure is back; you could never tell just two minutes ago he was fazed at all. He exudes control; he is in his element. Crisis management seems to be an area where he thrives.

I am so thankful he was there. I am so thankful he is here now. If I am being honest and true to myself, I am so thankful a man like Mr. Greyson could be my father. I had a lot of dreams about who he might be and what he could be like growing up. However, no one I ever imagined as my father could hold a candle to my level of respect and admiration for Mr. Greyson. I always pictured a more AJ-like persona for those honors. I guess I thought that an "AJ-Like" was the best she could have done. Maybe I didn't know my mom as well as I thought I did--or Mr. Greyson, for that matter.

I can't process all these revelations right now, although they are a great distraction from my current circumstances. I need Tralen to be my compass on these matters of the heart I am dealing with.

He has my heart, so matters related to its stability require his input now. I think back to our first date, before I screwed it all up. After he beat me in NBA Finals he said he was ready to collect on my debt. He had bet me that if he won he got a pass to "first base." I had to regress back to 6th grade to even remember what that might entail for me. When I realized it was a long way from home, I agreed without much hesitation as my trucker emerged. "He would already be rounding third if your vagina was making the calls right now."

He had told me he needed music so while we waited for the previews and our movie to load I queued up my stereo and
Compass
by Lady Antebellum started to play. He pulled me to him and began to dance with me in my living room. It vaguely reminded me of the hallway incident; he smelled and felt similar up against me close. Maybe I just wanted it to have the same feeling I had then, maybe better. When he kissed me and his hands pulled me into him, I wished he was my true north. I could start to believe he was sent to me; it was time for all the truth I had found to meet her chance at love.

I just want Tralen back… that is all that matters anymore. In fact, if I lost my job and my career but I still had Tralen, I would take that dance with the devil just like with Ben if it would have saved Tralen. The ultimate sacrifice…letting him use me in order to give my dreams a chance.

I feel like I could recover and survive anything life throws my way as long as Tralen is beside me. Until now I never wanted to share successes with, rely on or give that much power to anyone. They could use it to hurt me. I wanted to do everything for myself; it was my way of protecting myself. I don't want to do it all myself anymore. I want someone else to share the good and make it better just by being there. I also know that through our experience with Ben, as terrifying as it was, I had Tralen with me and it helped somehow. My chest pressed to his back, his hands clasped in mine around him. Our hearts literally found the same pace and felt as they were beating as one. It was the only peace I could find in the terror of the situation.

If he hadn't come, I would be dead. I know that. He gave me a second chance at life. He gave me a chance at love. I should probably not waste it.

Chapter NINETEEN

All I Need

Tralen-

When I woke up in the hospital bed and she was there holding my hand with her eyes closed in prayer, I knew already she was all I would ever need. I had promised myself as she faded from my sight that night that if I ever woke up and saw her face alive again, I would never let her go. She was mine and Cody was right. I wouldn't be truly alive and whole again until I faced my fears and had her love--my "Hadley-Made" Dream Come True.

I find it ironic that all this time we were both worried about chasing our dreams down or helping others find theirs and planning our separate strategies to live a life without "love." Then something neither of us could control, didn't plan, didn't hope for, didn't even believe in, steered our course to it.

I am looking down at her bare olive-toned skin covering her back, and my eyes drift to Jenna's ring on her left ring finger. It had been Grandma Pearl's and my mom had given it me before she died and told me to "find someone worthy of your heart to give this to." I always listened to my mom because she gave good advice and never steered me off course. In a lot of ways I think it was some of the character traits in Jenna that drew me to Hadley to begin with. Leave it to Mom to have a hand in this one. I always had a feeling she would be able to reach beyond the heavens before she would miss the opportunity to pass her approval over my "Mrs."

I start kissing softly up her side, following the line up her back as she sleeps soundly. I lay my head back on the pillow and pull her close to me.

My girl. My "Hadley-Made Housewife." She was the most breathtaking bride I had ever pictured and that statement says something, because the raven-haired toothless flower girl tugging Loosey down the aisle was a tough act to follow.

Mr. Greyson, or Dean, gave me her hand in marriage. My natural reaction when she finally got close enough was to kiss her, so I did, even if it was a little early according to the "tradition" of ceremony. After much debate and bargaining on my part, I had talked her into inviting her mom, Ally, to the wedding. She was in the front row beside her new husband Jeff, a biker badass that is the polar opposite of Mr. Greyson. I knew this kind of scenario was possible when I married into her family… full of contradictions.

My brother was my best man, of course. I finally manned up. I remembered what he said to me that night to get me to go to her. If I hadn't listened I would have lost her and that fucking psycho Ben would have tried to pin it all on me.

Macey and Cody sang "All I Need" by AWOLNATION and surprised Hadley during the ceremony. It was a song Dez used to sing Macey to sleep with and one Hadley now sings to her. My baby hadn't cried until then. She tried to hold back the tears but I could feel the heat in her hands as I held them and she tried to hold it in. However, when Macey came in alone on the chorus and looked directly at Hadley and sang with the most beautiful little toothless mouth, she lost it. Tears poured down her cheeks and I tried to stop of flood with my thumbs and then my lips. I couldn't stand to see her cry, even if it was at a joyous moment. I knew she saw Dez. I knew what this moment meant to her and always would. I knew what Macey and Dez will always mean to her.

Cody gave a toast at the reception. He mentioned that he knows Mom is there with us and would be as proud of me as he is. He reminded us all of what she had once said at Molly and Todd's reception when she gave her Matron of Honor toast to them. When he said, "One of the pieces of advice I heard my mom give at a reception once when I was younger was,
Create memories; don't wait for them to happen
. I never forgot it. Seemed like good advice. So do that: make a lot of them and give each other a lot of good memories."

I was surprised Cody remembered that. He was only nine. I don't think Jenna realized at the time how much I had "heard" in her speech.

"Today you feel the highs love can bring into your life and to his. Always remember this day but more importantly, remember what brought you here. I want to be asked to return to celebrate many of your future anniversaries, so I will share some of my observations regarding important lessons I have learned over my life about a lasting marriage:

Create memories; don't wait for them to happen.

Don't let the worst damage your marriage suffers be from your own actions. Self-inflicted wounds leave more scars.

You will not always be in love with him, so if you want to last find forgiveness. And be open to falling in love with him many times throughout your lives together, even when you don't want to.

Problems in a marriage touch the whole family--keep that in mind before you have children.

Once you have children don't put all of your focus on them to create an excuse to avoid dealing with problems in your marriage. They will only grow and multiply.

Don't stay if he inflicts the kind of hurt that won't heal and don't ask him to stay if you do the same. Let go.

Expressing your love and understanding of each other by performing small random acts of kindness can go a long way in overshadowing the big promises you've made that may have gone undelivered.

Here's to a long life of happiness and blessed memories. I wish you all the best and I love you both very much. Good luck and take care of one another always."

I thought back to that toast she gave while Cody asked everyone to take a moment of silence to send prayers to Jenna and Dez because we all wished they could be there with us.

Then his alter ego, the Cody I know and love, returned. He slapped me on the shoulder and stated, "Tralen, looks like all those beaver hunts we took when we were kids paid off after all. She was hard to find, but you knew she did her best work during the night." Touching, Cody, really. Then he sent some love to my wife with all of his charm. "Hadley, you're handy around the house, so just look at Tralen like those tiles you put down in the kitchen. You laid him right the first time and you take good care of him, so technically you are going to be able to walk all over him for a lifetime!"

Then he sang a slightly edgy version of the country song "Helluva Life" as Hadley and I had our first dance as husband and wife.

My first night with my wife was off the charts. If this feeling is what they mean by ball and chain, then give me the life sentence. Hadley danced for me. I mean, WOW, did she dance for me, and it was fucking real this time. She let me take her out of her dress and I couldn't help but kiss my wife until we were both wanting a lot more and breathless. Just the pull between us in this room--even more powerful than the first performance in black I got in on.

This time it was all for me, and I didn't even have to give up my left nut!

It was dark and the only light was coming from a series of black-lights highlighting only the white within the room. Her white lace was in the spotlight and I was mesmerized as she moved. The black lace was burned into my memory but the feeling of a dream was a created with the blacklight and white glow off her skin in the white lace, like she was floating. My angel… in a thong and stilettos!

What the fuck happened? How is this beautiful angel really all mine? I have got to be dreaming. Then, when the heat was more than I could take by seeing her swinging her hips in white lace trim as she dropped her bra to the methodic beat of "Tulsa Time", I knew I needed to cut in. I never thought I could ever be so jealous of a pole! I started to take off my jacket and then my shirt before she took pity and asked me join her on the last verse of it.

I made love to my wife for the first time to the lineup of music she had queued up. It didn't last for as many songs as I had hoped that first time but seriously, who the fuck could blame me?!?! I held her back pressed up to the cool metal of the pole as I removed the last of her white lace obstruction before I pushed up hard into her as I held her to me. She gasped then giggled, which struck my heart because the sound was even more beautiful coming from her while I was inside her. Her giggles were followed by soft chants of my name mixed with moans as she fisted my hair and pulled as I began to move in rhythmic, intense thrusts.

When she gripped my hips with the pressure of her thighs I tried to pull out. I did! However, she was going over the edge at the same time as me and I couldn't leave my wife hanging on our wedding night. Especially after a gift like that!

That was my wedding gift from her. She had shared that news with me while we were dancing about three hours into the reception. It was a huge party and we danced almost every dance until she told me that piece of news. She had made me wait to consummate our union until we were married. Little did she know we had already played ball in this field at Marcus and Shelby's wedding reception. Oh, the contradictions.