Undeniable

CHAPTER ONE

Ash

A blonde was making eyes at me from across the bar.

As I took a sip of my beer, I glanced at her.

Eh…she was alright.

I returned my beer to the surface then stared at the TV. The Padres were up by one out.

Sage caught the look. “You going to talk to her?” His beer was in front of him, the foam still floating on the surface.

“Nah. Tens or better.”

Sage discreetly glanced at her. “She seems fine to me.”

“Too much flab over the stomach.”

He grinned then shook his head slightly. “You really are a dick, you know that?”

“Like you weren’t thinking the same thing.”

“Actually, I wasn’t. “He glanced at her again. “She has nice legs.”

“I’ve seen better.” I finished my beer then thought about the following day. I had a clinical rotation at the hospital and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

“I don’t understand how you score so many girls.”

“Because I’m a dick to them.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Being a dick gets you pussy?”

“Only easy girls with low self-esteem would put up with a guy like me. That’s how I know who I should bring back to my place. I don’t want a girl who’s actually smart.”

“You’re going to die alone. You know that, right?” He had a smirk on his face.

“That’s the plan.” I clanked my glass against his. “I get to keep all my money to myself and I don’t have to deal with any bullshit.”

“Sounds lonely.”

“Nope. Definitely not.”

Sage looked at his watch. “I should go.”

“I probably should too.”

He pulled the money out of his wallet and dropped it on the table. “You going home alone tonight?”

I looked around the bar. It was pretty much empty. The rest of the girls that hung around were deathly pale and skinny. They didn’t have curves in the right places. A girl needed to have a nice rack to get my attention.

I turned back to the blonde in the corner. “I guess she’s not that bad.”

He laughed. “Last call can change your perspective. I’ll see you around, man.” He clapped my shoulder then walked out.

My gaze was on the blonde. She had thick thighs, and she had mascara in the corner of her eye. If I weren’t horny and there was better talent in this bar, I wouldn’t bother. But right now, I’d take what I could get.

I walked to the bar and stood beside her stool. “You’re out late.”

She gave me a smirk. I could tell she was pleased by my attention. She should be surprised. I was a perfect ten and she was like a….two, maybe? Since no one would witness this hook up, I didn’t care.

I looked at my watch and realized it was getting late. I decided to cut the shit. “I’m in medical school and I have money. You want to fuck?”
I really did sound like a dick. Whatever. It usually worked on girls.

“Oooh…so you’re a smarty?”

“Some might say that.” I nodded toward the door. “You want to get out of here?”

“Don’t you want to know my name first?”

“Not really.”

She twirled her blonde hair in her fingertips. “I usually prefer it if a guy buys me a drink first…”

The fact I was at all interested in sleeping with her was a compliment in itself. “I’m not going to. I’m walking out that door now. If you want to come, then let’s go. If not, whatever. I’m out of here regardless.”

She tensed at my words, caught off guard by my bluntness.

“Ight. Bye.” I left my beer on the counter then headed to the door. I pulled my keys out while I walked then spun them in my fingers.

“Wait.”

I stopped in my tracks then looked at her.

She finished her beer then grabbed her purse. “I’m coming.”

“Then hurry.” I walked out the door without waiting. I didn’t even hold it open for her.

She trailed behind me then finally caught up to me. “Which car is yours?”

“BMW,” I mumbled. I unlocked it with a press of a thumb then got inside.

She sat in the passenger seat then felt the leather. “You have a really nice car.”

“Yeah.” Like I hadn’t heard that a hundred times… I put the car in drive then headed back to my apartment.

We came inside, did our thing, and then I was ready for bed.

I pulled on my clothes and didn’t look at her. “Alright. See you later.”

“What?” She sat up then pulled her shirt to her chest. “That’s it?”

“What were you expecting?” I ran my fingers through my hair then left the bedroom.

She chased me down a second later. “Um, how am I supposed to get home?”

“Drive,” I snapped.

“I didn’t drive here, idiot.” Her sassiness started to come out.

“Oh.” I was too busy not caring. “Call a cab.”

Her eyes widened and her mouth gaped open. “You aren’t going to drive me?”

“I’m tired.” I opened my refrigerator and grabbed a water.

“Well, I’m tired too…can I just sleep here.”

“No.” I gave her the death stare. “I don’t do the sleep over thing.”

“And you don’t drive a girl back to her car like a gentleman?”

“I never once said I was a gentleman,” I snapped. “It’s not my fault you were stupid and assumed that.”

Her eyes started to water so she turned away. “Jerk…”

I was too busy not caring to notice her words.

She walked out the door without another word.

I really was an asshole.

But like I said, I didn’t care.

CHAPTER TWO

Alaska

I wasn’t looking forward to living in an apartment. I would have to share a washer and dryer with everyone else in the building, and I didn’t like sharing walls with people. But I couldn’t afford my house anymore. If I were going to make my dreams come true, I’d have to make a few sacrifices for it to happen.

After everything was inside, I sat down on the carpet and leaned against the wall. “Thanks for helping me, Payton.”

“Anytime.” My sister leaned against the opposite wall. She looked around the room, inspecting all the empty corners. “It’s a lot smaller than your old place…”

“I’ll make it work.” Having a bad attitude wouldn’t make the situation better.

“You don’t expect me to help you unpack too, right?” She eyed the boxes with dread.

I laughed. “No. But now I wouldn’t ask you even if I wanted your help.”

“Good. Because I have a life.”

“Chasing after every boy you see doesn’t count as having a life.” My sister was two years younger than me and in college. All she cared about was meeting guys.

Typical.

“Just because you already found someone doesn’t mean you should rub it in.” She rolled her eyes.

Jace and I had been together for two years. He was a good guy and I knew we would get married soon. He just had to get down on one knee and propose. When I lost my house and had to move in here, I expected him to ask me to move in with him but he didn’t. I didn’t bring it up because I didn’t want to put pressure on him. He would ask when he was ready to.

“Where is he anyway?”

“He had to work,” I answered.

“He always has to work.”

I shrugged. “He’s a busy guy.”

“But he’s always busy. He didn’t come to your birthday because he had to work.”

“Firefighters can’t just ask for days off like other people can.”

“But it was your
birthday
.” She gave me a firm look. “Don’t get me started on all the holidays and events he’s missed. He’s hardly around.”

I was beginning to think my sister didn’t like him. “Do you have a problem with Jace?”

“No…I just think he should be a better boyfriend sometimes.”

I’ve had this same argument with multiple people.  “Grown ups have other responsibilities besides hanging out with their girlfriends or boyfriends all day. I can’t count the number of times I missed stuff because I had to work on the weekend.”

“It’s still not as bad.” She finished the rest of her water then tossed the plastic bottle across the carpet.

I raised an eyebrow. “You’re already making a mess?”

She shrugged. “What are sisters for?”

When I knew Jace was off work, I called him.

He didn’t answer. It went straight to voicemail.

Maybe he was still at work? I finished unpacking then hung up the rest of my clothes in the closet. After everything was done, I started to worry. Maybe something happened at work. I decided to call the firehouse.

“Yeah?” a guy answered.

“Is Jace there? This is his girlfriend, Alaska.”

“Oh.” He fumbled with the phone for a moment. “The computer says he clocked out an hour ago.”

“Okay. Thank you.” I hung up.
Maybe he left his phone somewhere.

I called again, just to see if he would answer.

“Hey, baby.” He sounded out of breath.

It was nice to hear his voice. “Where have you been?”

“I just got off work.” He still breathed heavily. “How was the move?”

Just got off work?
“I called the firehouse and they said you clocked out an hour ago.”

“Yeah, I did. But I had paperwork to do. If we get any overtime, we have to take an extra day off and I can’t afford to lose the hours.”

That made sense. “Oh okay.”

“So, the move?” he repeated.

“It was fine. I don’t have much stuff, actually.” It was kind of sad to think about it.

“You and Payton managed?”

“Yeah. We’re strong and buff.” I had a smile on my face.

“Maybe the strong part. I don’t know about the other one…”

I laughed. “You want to come over?”
I missed him all day.

“Uh, I would but I’m pretty tired.”

“Well, I just washed the sheets and the bed is put together. You could sleep here.” I liked having his warm body next to mine during the night.

“Sorry, baby. I’m going to pass. Next time though.”

I tried to hide my disappointment. I didn’t want to be too clingy with him. “Okay.”

“I got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay.” I waited for him to say those three little words.

“Bye.” The line went dead.

I took the phone away from my ear and sighed. Lately, I felt like something was off between Jace and I. I didn’t know what it was. Sometimes I felt like he wasn’t as into me as he used to be. When we started dating, he couldn’t stop looking at me. He did everything he could to make me happy. I was his whole world. But lately, I felt like nothing more than just…I don’t know. I just didn’t feel important anymore.

Not knowing what to do with myself, I lay on the couch and watched TV alone.

CHAPTER THREE

Ash

“How was that girl the other night?” Sage dribbled the ball then made the shot.

“What girl?” I asked.

“The blonde one from the bar.” He had a humored look on his face. “The one who had flab on her stomach.”

“Oh yeah.” I totally forgot about her. “She was fine.”

“Just fine?” He dribbled the ball then aimed his shot.

“Yeah. Nothing spectacular. I had her lay on her stomach so I wouldn’t see her face.”

Scotty stared at me incredulously. “Just when I think you can’t get any worse, you do.”

“What?” I stole the ball from Sage and dribbled it between my legs. “At least I’m honest.”

Liam moved to the hoop so he could get the ball when I missed. “I thought I was bad, but you put me to shame.”

“All of us to shame,” Scotty said.

I made the shot and it went straight through the hoop. “I should go for the pros.”

Sage rolled his eyes. “Stay in school.”

Scotty gave me a serious look. “Honestly, how long is this going to go on for? You’re getting older and all the good girls are getting snatched by the minute.”

“I don’t care if all the girls are snatched up. I don’t care if they cheat on their boyfriends.” I blocked Liam and tried to steal the ball away.

“You really should think twice about that,” Liam threatened. “Because if I found Keira in bed with some other guy, he wouldn’t be able to leave because both of his legs would be broken.”

“Which is why I take them to my place.” I grabbed the ball then dribbled to the opposite corner.

Liam stopped chasing me. “How long is this going to go on for? Seriously?”

“You want to die alone?” Scotty asked.

I rolled my eyes. “You were just like me six months ago.”

“I don’t deny that,” Scotty said. “But when I settled down it was the best decision I ever made. Plus, you’re older than me.”

“Are we girls right now?” I made the shot.

“I just think you should stop being a dick.” Scotty gave me a firm look.

I met his gaze. “You really shouldn’t talk to your sister’s boyfriend like that.”

“I couldn’t care less.” Scotty stepped back. “And I know Livia wouldn’t either.”

I passed the ball to Sage then stepped back, sick of being grilled.

Scotty stood next to me.

Great. This isn’t over.

“Is there something going on, man?” He kept his voice low. “Because you’ve been worse than usual.”

The anger thudded behind my eyes every second of the day. Sometimes I wanted to rip someone’s throat out, anyone. When I picked up girls and took them back to my place, it was just a means to an end. I needed to release the frustration deep inside me, release the pain. “No.”

Scotty didn’t let up. “I don’t believe you.” He kept staring at me.

“I guess…Livia.” That was all I could say. I acted like my sister was a pain in the ass and I couldn’t stand her, but…I loved her. I loved her a lot. Knowing some jackasses held her down and…did what they did kept me up at night. I hid all of this from Livia, not wanting her to see the hurt on my face. My faith in humanity had been shaken. My belief in men was ruined. There were no good men out there, so why should I be one?

Scotty placed his hand on my back for a moment before he dropped it. “I know it’s hard, but she’s doing really well. She’s let it go and moved on. She’s fine.”

“It’s still shouldn’t have happened. I’m just so angry all the time…”

Scotty said nothing for a while. “I understand. But I don’t think being the biggest dick in San Diego is going to fix your problems.”

“I’m only a dick to the girls who let me get away with it. It’s not my fault they are so pathetic.”

Scotty ignored my words. “Why don’t you go on a date or something? Actually sit down and talk?”

“No.” I stepped away from him, needing space. I never wanted to have a girlfriend—ever. I never wanted to get married. What if I fell in love with someone and…the same thing happened to her? How would I get over that? I love my sister with my whole heart, and every time I think about what happened to her, I die inside. What if it happened to my wife? Or my daughter? I just…I didn’t want to care about anyone. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t get hurt.

“Maybe he just hasn’t found the right girl yet,” Liam said. “When I found Keira, I literally changed overnight.”

“But he isn’t going to find her if he’s a jackass to every girl he meets,” Scotty said. “All the good girls will steer clear of you.”

“Good,” I said darkly. I stole the ball from Sage then dribbled it to the hoop. After I made my shot I passed it to Liam. “Now can we talk about monster trucks or porn? Because I’m starting to feel like a girl.”

My patient had a blood clot in her leg. After using blood thinners to remove it, no change had taken place. I feared the clot would move to her lungs or her heart. As a result, she didn’t move around much.

And I was bored to tears.

Why couldn’t I have a more interesting patient? Someone with a complicated medical history? Someone that needed surgery? I wanted to work in the emergency room, unsure what kind of patient would come in by ambulance.

But no, I was assigned this ridiculously boring patient
.

I thought doing clinical rotations would be exciting and fun, but when I was stuck with uneventful patients for hours at a time, I couldn’t help but wish I were somewhere else.

“Hello, Mrs. Pateo.” I came in with the chart in hand.

“It’s Patelo,” she corrected.

Whatever.

“It’s really not that hard to remember.” She gave me an agitated look.

I positioned my stethoscope and started to examine her, avoiding eye contact.

“You doctors are all the same.” She shook her head slightly. “You couldn’t care less about my well-being. All you care about is your paycheck.” She sighed. “I need to move to Norway.”

Seriously, why couldn’t they give me a better patient? She had the worst attitude in the world. “What’s in Norway?” It was the best way to change the subject.

“Better healthcare for older people. Free education for students. And it’s less crowded.”

“Then maybe you should leave San Diego if the traffic bothers you so much.”

She gave me a dark look.

I listened for the air in her stomach then moved my stethoscope to her back.

“You look awfully young to be a doctor.”

I got this all the time. “I’m a medical student. I said that already.”

“If you aren’t a real doctor, you should be a little nicer to me.”

“I
am
nice.” My jaw was clenched.

She lay back against the bed and stared me down.

Mrs. Patelo was an immigrant from Chile. I only knew that because it said it on her chart. She had dark skin and brown hair. Her eyes were mocha brown.

I checked her IV pole then ordered a few medications.

“What are you writing?”

God, she was annoying
. “Notes for the nurse.”

She sighed then kept watching me.

“I’ll be back in an hour. Let the nurse know if you need anything.” I hated patient care. I really needed to go into radiology or surgery so I could avoid people. I had a horrible bedside manner, and the patients didn’t warm up to me.

“Why can’t you get me anything?”

I held back my annoyance. “I can. But the nurse is around more often. Just a press of a button and she’ll be here in a second.”

“My nurse is a male.”

Whatever. Same difference if you ask me.

“Can you read to me?”

Read? Did I look like a babysitter?
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Patelo. I’m very busy.”

“Just a few pages.” She grabbed a book from her nightstand and handed it to me.

“I have other patients.”

“I thought you were a medical student? Don’t you just have one?” She raised an eyebrow.

How did she know that? She’d been in this very room for months, so she probably knew how everything worked. “I have paperwork.” Actually, I was going to the doctor’s lounge so I could watch TV and play on my phone. If I was going to be here for twelve hours, I needed to pace myself.

She returned the book to her nightstand. “It’s hard being stuck here. The doctors have diagnosed me but they can’t fix me. I don’t have a lot of family to visit me. The TV only gets basic cable…. It would be nice to have someone read to me.”

She wasn’t going to guilt me into anything. “I’ll be back in an hour.” I walked out without turning back. After I handed the chart to the nurse, I headed for the silence of the doctor’s lounge.