Read Underneath It All Online

Authors: Erica Mena

Underneath It All (7 page)

BOOK: Underneath It All
12.59Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

             
I didn’t know what it was so I called Francis and I showed her the tissue. I told her about the pains and she said that I was in labor and that the pain I had been feeling were actually contractions. All my nervousness went away, I was in labor. I was finally going to meet my baby. I sat on the couch and we started timing the contractions and they got closer and closer. Francis and Ralph helped me gather my things and we were out the door and on our way to New York Presbyterian Hospital, the same hospital that I was born in.

Chapter Nine

By

the time we reached the hospital I was already four centimeters dilated so they immediately put me into a room. Being in labor was the most excited and happiest I had ever been. Not onl
y was I going to meet my son, I was going to have a sense of stability and sanity in my life. I think God allowed me to get pregnant to slow me down and I was about to bring into the world the person that was going to do just that.

             
I was in labor all morning and that afternoon at 12:42 pm King Javien Mena was born weighing 9 pounds and 8 ounces at 21 inches long. He was a big little fucker but I had the strength to get him here naturally with no epidural. Okay, I probably would’ve asked for an epidural but since I was so far along when we reached the ER it was too late.

             
Francis was in the room with me the entire time and I remember them telling me to push and thinking that I had nothing left and just when I was about to give up he came out. The doctor laid him on my chest and as soon as I looked into his eyes I fell in love. I felt like my life had a purpose now. This little person had given me everything I needed from day one. From that day forward I had a reason to love and to be happy no matter what life was throwing at me.

             
When I first went into labor I called Raul and he politely told me that he was shooting a video and couldn’t make it. He didn’t come to the hospital until my third day when I was getting ready to pack up and go home. It was disappointing because here I was super excited and he didn’t even bring flowers, candy, a teddy bear, or anything like that to congratulate me on brining our child into the world. I’m not materialistic and one to bicker over petty shit like that but come on, I just had your fucking child. I can’t even get a Thank You card?

             
Ralph took him out the car seat and handed him to Raul and for a while he just stared at him. I could tell that he had a moment with him but I don’t think it really clicked that he was now the father of another child. We walked outside and as I was putting in his car seat and strapping him in Raul told me that he wouldn’t be coming with me to take King back to Ralph’s house but instead he would be going to his mother’s because he was tired.

             
Of all the selfish, self-centered bullshit he could say he had the nerve to say that he was tired? Not only had I justified the abuse and spent the labor alone, I had also sacrificed my family and so much more because of him but he couldn’t even help me bring our child home? What kind of shit is that? I had just had a baby, I was in labor for hours, I was exhausted from breastfeeding but he’s the one that’s tired? He drove off before I had the chance to react and honestly, I was glad that he was gone. If that was the way he was going to act then I didn’t need him around my son or me anyway.

             
Once we got settled back at Ralph’s house I remember just lying in bed and really taking in the fact that I had just had a baby. I now had a son and with that came huge responsibility. I was finally at peace. I stared at him and was just in awe at how beautiful he was. He was perfect. He had red hair, hazel eyes and fair skin. He was a big baby but he was also a good baby, he didn’t fuss much and I felt like I had gotten really lucky on that end.

             
I don’t know how it is with other new mothers but I always had to touch him or hold him. After a few days I was starting to get the hang of being a mom. I did whatever I could to make sure he knew that he was loved. Unfortunately the time came for me to go back to work and although I was extremely grateful to Ralph and Francis for helping me through such a fragile period, I also felt like King needed his own home and structure in his life.

             
I moved back to Florida and went back to Raul. Like always, in the beginning it was great. At last I had the moments I had hoped for. I was very domesticated; I cooked, I cleaned, I took care of my man and my son and I loved every minute of it. I had my own family and I was able to give him everything I didn’t have growing up which was a two-parent household.

 

              Scott Disick was a good friend of Raul’s and through him I found out that Kourtney was coming down to Miami to shop for retail space so that her and Khloe could open a store. I’ve always loved fashion and anything that had something to do with retail so when Raul told me that he could get me a job there I was excited. I didn’t think of it as just another way for him to keep tabs on me. I viewed it as free time, a few hours away from him out of the day sounded like a vacation.

             
I was always a sponge when it came to work. I always wanted to be around the people who were behind the scenes so that I could learn from them and I felt like since Kourtney and Khloe were starting a business, I could soak up as much information from them as I could during the time that I was there.

             
I met with Kourtney for an interview and it was then that I learned it would be filmed for their reality show
Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami
. This was the first time I had ever done anything with reality TV and I thought it would be cool. I was around Kourtney and Khloe a lot and my role on the show was to be seen as Kourtney’s friend who was always showing up late to work.

Let me take this time to clear something up, I was never fired. I appeared on season one and after the show wrapped we actually parted ways on good terms. I did my first fashion show thanks to them in which I wore some of the bathing suits from the
Dash
clothing line and being out there on the catwalk ignited my desire to model again so I told them that’s what I wanted to do. I turned in my two-week notice and after about four months, which was how long the season lasted, I left.

             
Like I said before, the problem with reality TV is that you only see what the people behind the cameras want you to see. Editing is a beautiful and monstrous thing all in one because it has the ability to put you in a light that is beneficial to the show and its ratings all the while not caring that it’s distorting your reputation and how you really are in person.

             
Despite all of that, I am still good friends with Kourtney and Khloe and I’m thankful for the opportunity that they gave me. Working at their store allowed me to get back on my feet after I had King.

 

              After working with the Kardashian’s I landed an ad campaign with Tommy Hilfiger, of course I accepted the job and I was paid the same day. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to get home to tell Raul the news.

             
As soon as I opened the door Raul was standing there as if he had been waiting for me to arrive. I could smell the Hennessy on his breath and hoped that it had put him in a good mood.

             
He pulled me into the house and began kissing and nibbling on my neck and ears. I was still riding on cloud nine from the gig so if I had to have sex with him, at least I could think happy thoughts to get me through it.

             
I showed him my paycheck and thought that he would be happy that I was bringing money into the house but as always, I was wrong. He started accusing me of thinking that I was better than him and it all went down hill from there.

             
The look in his eyes caused me to back up towards the door. I put my hand on the handle but before I had a chance to run he grabbed me by my neck and threw me on the floor.

             
He ran towards me like a raging bull and punched me in the face causing my nose to bleed on impact.

             
I fell to the floor and peddled backwards on my hands only to have him yank me by my feet and drag me back towards him.

             

              He reached down and started ripping my dress off. I was trying to hold on to whatever fabric I could but my breasts popped out and soon it was torn to shreds.

             
He went to the kitchen and came back with a butcher knife threatening to cut my breasts out since he had given me half of the money to pay for them. When he came towards me with the knife I instinctively put my hands up trying to keep him from cutting me at the same time stop the blood flowing from my nostrils.

              King had begun to cry from all the noise and was yelling for me from his room. I tried to crawl towards his room but it didn’t work. Raul was pulling me off the floor by my hair and with each tug I could feel it coming out from the roots.

             
He opened the door and I tried to yell out for our neighbor who was entering her apartment when he slapped me across the face. 

             
I was crying hysterically. My face was burning hot from where he had just hit me and King’s cries were getting louder and louder.

             
He threw me out into the hallway with such force I fell onto my knees.

             
I could hear him unzipping his jeans and I was so afraid that he was going to rape me but he did something worse. Just as I was turning around to see what he was going to do next he began urinating in my face.

             
When he was finished he closed the door and left me in the hallway, naked.

             
I found refuge downstairs in the incinerator. I didn’t dare knock on the door because I was afraid of what he may do if I did. I balled up in the corner of the room and held myself in an attempt to keep warm. I didn’t understand how things had gotten out of control so fast.

             
What hurt the most was listening to King cry and not being able to do anything about it. How much longer would I let him witness me get my ass beat before I was brave enough to walk away? How much longer would I allow myself to be subjected to this? What was it going to take?

             

              After a few months, things at home were going really well and were perfect for a while until suddenly they weren’t anymore. The arguments started again and it was always over something small. We would start fighting verbally and then it would get physical and eventually it was just like it was before. I tried. Lord knows I tried. I wanted my son to be able to have both of his parents in the same house but I knew that even though he wasn’t able to tell me what he was feeling in clear sentences, he still knew what was going on.

             
King had just started to walk and I was in the kitchen late one night putting the dishes in the dishwasher. I was trying to catch up on the cleaning I wasn’t able to do earlier in the day before Raul got home because I didn’t want to hear his mouth. I was hanging some of the pots on the pot hangers when I accidentally dropped one of them.

             
The noise was so loud it startled King and he came running into the kitchen in his onesie with his arms raised trembling. The first thing he said was “No, no mommy daddy hit you.” That was my reality check. I saw how frightened my two year old was and it broke my heart. All the times that he had witnessed Raul hit me was written all over his face and he was clearly afraid for my life in his own way. In an effort to do what I thought was the right thing by coming back had actually been wrong and I had placed my son in a fearful environment.

             
It was hard for me because I was in the same place I said I never would be. I had to leave behind everything I had worked for once again but at the same time I didn’t care. None of it mattered. It was no longer about making it work anymore, no more denial, no more covering it up, it was about protecting my son and giving him a better upbringing. I knew that if I stayed not only would I be letting Raul get away with being a monster, I would be creating one. My son would have Raul as an example and he would grow up thinking that the things he was doing to his mother was okay and this is the way that you should treat a woman. That wasn’t okay with me and I couldn’t allow it.

             
That night we packed up and went to the airport and me and my baby went back to New York. I left Raul and never looked back.

 

              I decided to leave King with my mom and Linda and although I didn’t want to I knew I was making the right decision. Linda did a really good job with raising me and Jason and I knew that he would be in good hands. She has always had a very nurturing spirit and paired with my mom I was certain that he would be loved and cared for in a way that I was unable to provide at the moment.

             
I was once again starting over except for this time I didn’t have Raul next to me. I was free from all the abuse and all of the pain and it was time for me to take my life back. After tearful goodbyes, I went to the one place that I thought could give me a fresh start. California.

BOOK: Underneath It All
12.59Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

The Mountain Midwife by Laurie Alice Eakes
Unknown by Shante Harris
The Fire Within by Jan Springer
Corrected by the Colonel by Celeste Jones
Negative by Viola Grace
Next Stop: Love by Miranda J. Fox