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I let my hand fall away with the small phone still in it, but the clatter I heard indicated my grip had failed. I don't remember how, but suddenly I was standing and reaching out for a wall that I could swear was next to me. My breaths were choppy and the ache in my leg started to feel like a ten ton boulder was sitting on it.

I didn't care. I needed to get to my brother.

I needed to get to the son of a bitch that hit his car, and I needed to make him pay for his attempt at trying to take something else away from me, away from my family.

"Merrick?"

Grace's voice cut through the roaring in my ears. Her arms surrounded my waist, pulling my mind back into my body.

"Merrick, what are you doing? Sit back down."

"I have to go." I steadied myself on my good leg and she supported me with a shoulder tucked against my side.

"I know and we'll get you to your brother, but hurting yourself won't get you there any faster. Come on, let's put you back in the chair and I'll help you to the car, okay?"

One of her hands moved to my stomach while her other arm stayed wrapped around my back. She turned me and my will finally gave out. The dizziness killed my balance and we both came down hard, me in my wheelchair and Grace nearly in my lap. On automatic, my hands reached for her and kept her from falling to the floor completely. She cursed and steadied herself before fixing my injured leg and making sure the immobilizer hadn't been moved too much. The pain was intense, but almost an afterthought, and I couldn't get control of my breathing. My face started to feel like it was covered in cobwebs while my neck could barely keep my head up.

"Breathe, Merrick. I need you to try to calm yourself so you can get a good breath in."

Rubbing my shoulders, she stayed in front of me, her body brushing against my knee. I wanted to pull her into my arms and cling to her. I had no idea why I was reacting this way. Shaking off the panic seemed impossible. Shutting my eyes ... it was no use. The images came back anyway. My brother injured and unconscious, covered in blood, and smashed inside of his mangled car. The car suddenly changed to a Humvee, then an MRAP, and his body slowly disappeared from my view as the fire consumed everything. The white-hot, melting metal curling in on itself. I could feel the burning in my flesh and I could smell the blood, the smoke, the gunpowder.

"Merrick!"

There was a tapping on the side of my face, then a pair of cold hands gripping my head. The cobwebs started to fade, the burning in my arm and at my side stopped, but I was trembling. A familiar, cold sweat had broken out over my entire body. The ache in my leg was still there, but all my mind could focus on was the feel of Grace's breath on my face as she spoke to me.

"I'm right here, Merrick, and you're right here with me. Nowhere else but here. Come back to me," she demanded, only her voice didn't sound like the Grace that threatened to starve me if I didn't shower. She sounded scared. "Come back, Merrick. You're here with me. Nowhere else but here."

She repeated the mantra over and over until my body stopped shaking and my breaths finally slowed down. Her fingers shook as she gripped my face and moved my hair away from my eyes. I was scaring her.

The reminder of what she did for me just a few weeks before, the reminder that I still had issues ... it made me want to demand that she leave before I did something that would hurt us both.

But in my gut, I knew that I would never hurt her.

"Grace, it's okay. You don't have to be scared."

She sighed with relief while her hands tilted my head slightly. Enough that I knew I would have been staring right into those unique hazel eyes she described to me. I would see the specks of brown she mentioned and would give anything to be able to count them.

"I'm not scared anymore now that you're with me," she stated. "Come on, big guy. Let's get you to the car. Your little brother needs you right now."

Grace Samuelson didn't know it, hell,
I
didn't even know it at the time, but that was the exact moment my heart irrevocably devoted itself to her.

Grace

I slept awful the next couple nights.

I spent hours worrying about Merrick and the reaction he had to Mitch's accident. It was almost as if the shock turned into living it. I was terrified I wouldn't be able to pull him out of it like I did the night of the fireworks.

 Mitch was badly hurt and stayed unconscious for a while, but the doctors felt confident that he would be okay. Thank God. I couldn't imagine what would happen if the situation had been any worse.

Mitch had been on his way to pick up his date for the night when a drunk driver T-boned his car at an intersection. The impact sent him spinning until his car smashed into a cement irrigation diversion dam or whatever the hell they were called. Either way, the car didn't stand a chance against it. The other driver was in a diesel truck and Mitch was in his tiny Corolla.

Emma called me Saturday afternoon and told me the details of what had happened. I asked her if she needed my help in any way.

"I don't think so, dear," she said, tearfully. "Merrick is staying at the hospital and refuses to leave until Mitch wakes up. It's his head that's causing the most worry. I'll keep you updated."

Emma was upset and exhausted, and I wished there was some way I could take a piece of her burdens. She constantly worried about Merrick and now with Mitch in the hospital ... well, I could imagine her nerves were completely shot.

It took everything in me to not call her every hour to check on them. On Merrick especially.

When I took him out of the house to meet his parents in the driveway, it was officially the first time I had pushed him in the wheelchair myself. I don't even think he remembered the short trip outside. His mind was somewhere else, and once he was in the car with his chair stowed away in the trunk, he looked like he was carrying a thousand pounds on those shoulders.

By Sunday morning, I was more worried about Merrick than ever. His brother was okay, but he wasn't, according to Emma.

Keara and Josh talked me into attending a barbeque at their house to get my mind off of it. It didn't really help since the urge to look at my phone was stronger than ever.

"So, did you hear from Emma again today?" Keara asked, draining a giant pot of boiled potatoes.

"I did. Mitch woke up, but he'll have to stay in the hospital for a few days longer," I replied and continued cutting strawberries.

"It still pisses me off that some douche bag was already tanked at six o'clock. Josh said Mitch's car was just so mangled, he didn't even know how they got the poor guy out as easily as they did."

Josh hadn't been on that call, but the other paramedics described the scene to him in detail. Apparently, it was pretty bad.

"What about Merrick? How is he handling things?" Keara asked.

"He's still there at the hospital. Emma said she convinced him to go with his dad to their house and get some rest and a shower last night. She also said that he put up quite the fight and she almost called me."

Keara turned away from the potatoes and raised an eyebrow. "And that would have helped?"

I shook my head and shrugged. "I doubt it, but she seems to believe Merrick feels better when I'm around. She said she's seen a difference. I think he's just getting more adjusted and it's a little easier for him to deal with his situation."

Keara stared at me with her arms crossed over her chest. I kept cutting strawberries until there were no more to cut, but I didn't meet her eyes. After a long moment, she sighed and turned back to the potatoes. "You going to his house tomorrow?"

"As far as I know."

She nodded and kept her back to me.

My shoulders slumped as I sighed, knowing she was waiting for me to ask. "What is it, Keara?"

She finished up the potatoes and placed them on the table next to all the fruit and sides she'd been making all morning. When she sat down across from me, I knew she was going to start saying things I might not want to hear, but this was Keara. She was always honest and very rarely held anything back when it came to important things.

"What did Jason do to you, Grace?"

My chest constricted and a lump started to form in my throat. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what the hell did he do to my best friend? You used to be more confident about yourself, although you've never once thought you were beautiful – which you
are
, by the way. You're gorgeous, Grace. You have hair I would kill for and curves everyone else would kill for. You're smart and giving and you are the nicest freaking person I have ever known. When you started dating Jason, I thought maybe you'd realize all of this, but you never did. And now? It's like that girl is gone completely."

I looked down at the bowl of strawberries and tried not to react to her words. She was right. She was
always
right.

"I just want to know what he did to make you feel like you're insignificant, because I would give anything to convince you otherwise," she added.

I curled my lips between my teeth and breathed through the anguish that wanted to climb out of me. Jason had taken away any kind of confidence I may have had. It became a way of life to always try to be better than I was. It was when I got pregnant that the woman I could have been went out of my reach. I knew the only reason Jason ever even came to see me was because of the baby, but I also knew I wasn't the only woman he went to see.

I hadn't been enough. The baby hadn't been enough. That's what ripped my heart to shreds.

"I just need some time, Keara," I stated quietly, my voice quivering on the word,
time
. Time hadn't been enough either.

Not yet.

"Okay, Grace. Just know that I'm here for you. I'm here to listen if you ever want to talk about it, but I won't push you. Even if I want to, I won't."

"Thank you."

She stood and made her way around the table, then wrapped me in her arms. "I love you, Grace. You're amazing and I hope one day you see that for yourself because everyone else does. Even the man who
can't
see."

Josh stepped into the kitchen and paused a moment before walking towards us, wrapping us both in a hug.

"I didn't know it was group hug time. You should have hollered for me. I'm good at this," he said playfully.

Keara and I both started giggling while Josh held us together, both literally and figuratively. When we finally separated, my smile was making my face ache.

"Thanks, Josh. Keara is very lucky to have you, you know that?"

He shook his head and wrapped an arm around Keara's waist before tugging her against his side. After placing a wet kiss on her cheek, he said, "Nah. I'm the lucky one. She has to put up with my grumpy ass all the time and she does it with a smile."

"You aren't grumpy," Keara protested.

He smiled wickedly. "Not when
you're
done with me."

Keara's cheeks reddened and her eyes got a faraway look. I couldn't help but giggle with glee for my best friend. She was happy and deserved every moment of untainted joy she could possibly wring out of life. Josh was a good man and would give her the world. I just hoped he asked her to marry him soon or I was going to have to step in.

Keara loved him and would wait patiently, but anyone could see that she was anxious for their life together to officially start.

"Where's Gary and Michael?" Keara asked as she slapped Josh's hand away from the steaming bowl of mashed potatoes.

"Setting up some chairs out back," Josh replied and kissed her cheek once more before smacking her butt.

Keara had practically begged me to come and hang out while Josh's family was there and not because she needed my support. A party without the Colson's was no party at all. Fortunately, Josh's brothers were all very cute. Unfortunately, they were all very married.

It wasn't long before the men filed into the kitchen through the back door, the smell of cooked meat engulfing my senses.

Funny how the first thought I had was if Merrick liked barbeques.

Gary, Michael, and Josh looked like they could be triplets. They all had the same short cut of dark blonde hair, and each of them owned a pair of piercing blue eyes. They were all pretty tall, but I was sure that, compared to Merrick, none of them would reach his height. Regardless, Gary, Michael, and Josh Colson were the heartbreakers in town and were all completely taken.

The brothers were close while growing up. Closer than your average siblings, and it showed in everything they did. They gave each other a hard time any chance they got, but they would take a bullet for each other, too. The kitchen seemed so much smaller with the three men dominating the space. It wasn't long before Keara had to shove them outside before they knocked something over. All I could do was laugh.

 I helped Keara haul out the rest of the food and the barbeque was well on its way.

We spent the afternoon chatting and laughing with Keara's
future
sisters in law. That is, if Josh would hurry it along with that proposal.

Christie was Gary's wife and pregnant with their first child. She was what you would call a blonde bombshell. Pregnancy did nothing to change it. Her green eyes sparkled whenever Gary looked her way, and her excitement about the baby was contagious. She let me rest my hand over her swollen belly until I could feel the baby kicking. It was difficult to keep my emotions at bay, but the joy wafting off of Christie didn't allow for sadness.

They all knew my situation, but none of them pressured me to speak about it. Instead, Christie smiled brightly and asked about my parents, whom I was more than happy to talk about.

Jen was Michael's wife. She stood out with her nearly black hair and dark brown eyes. She towered over the rest of us at five feet and seven inches, and if I didn't know any better, I could swear she came off the pages of a Victoria's Secret catalogue. The couple had just married a few months before. They were still in the newlywed stage and couldn't keep their hands off of each other anytime they were within touching distance. More than once, I caught Michael with his hand on his wife's butt while he whispered something in her ear that made her flush and look a little lightheaded.

I should have felt like the odd one out, but I didn't. The Colson's were well known in this town and growing up with them made it easier to include myself with them. We talked about the stupid things we all did when we were kids. They shared stories about Josh and his football career. Josh didn't seem disappointed that his career was cut short and anytime Keara came up in the stories, he gave her a look that made her blush all over again.

Once everyone ate, the men volunteered to clean up while the four of us women sat back in our chairs and admired the view. It wasn't long before we ended up arguing about which of the Colson brothers was hottest. Keara stuck with Josh, but the other women couldn't quite decide, which had us laughing all over again.

"We need to do this more often," Christie said with a sigh as she watched her husband clear the table of food covered dishes.

"I agree," Jen chimed in. "Why don't we make it official. The last Sunday of every month, let's have a barbeque. We can rotate houses."

"That's a great idea," Keara exclaimed.

"What do you think, Grace?" Christie asked.

I smiled as I watched her rub her belly. "I would love that. As long as you guys are okay with me tagging along."

Keara clapped and grabbed my hand. "Of course! I wouldn't have it any other way."

We all agreed to get together the last Sunday of every month and the only way out of it was if we were on our death beds. Josh joined our group a minute later and agreed it would be a good time. Christie and Jen gave me their numbers and we promised to have a girl's night soon.

It was nice to have something to look forward to. How long had it been since I'd just relaxed and let myself have a good time?

The air started to cool as evening approached and we each went our separate ways. Josh walked me out to my car since I was the last to leave and Keara was jumping in the shower. She had been cooking all day and couldn't stand the smell of food saturating her hair.

"Thanks for coming, Grace. I know Keara missed you a lot and I'm glad you two worked things out."

"Me too," I replied with a smile and opened my door.

"Can I ask you a favor?"

I looked up at him, noticing that for the first time in his life, Josh Colson looked nervous. He shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced back at the house before looking at me with a pleading expression.

"Of course. What's up?"

He cleared his throat and quickly glanced at the house again. "I'm going to pick out a ring and I need some help. You know Keara best. I want to surprise her so I really don't want to ask her what she wants. I have an idea, but I don't want to get it wrong."

He was speaking so fast that I almost missed what he said.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Breathe, Josh. I have no doubt that you would pick the perfect ring for her, but I'll be there to help you. Just call me and let me know when. I work long hours during the week, but I can get away here and there if you need me."

He nodded with a beaming smile and pulled me into a friendly hug. "Thanks, Grace. You're an amazing woman, you know that?"

I chuckled and stepped out of the hug. "I've been told that a time or two."

"It's true. Merrick's a lucky man."

My eyes widened with shock, "Oh, we aren't together, I'm just–"

"I know, but it doesn't mean something won't happen. I see Emma all the time at the hospital. She told me that Merrick has improved tremendously since you've been there. I saw how he was when he first got back. I've got to say, I didn't think
anyone
would get through to him."

"I haven't gotten through to him either, Josh."

"But you have. You may not know it, but everyone else does."

I stood there in stunned silence before he said goodbye and walked back to the house. By the time I pulled out of the driveway, I was almost hyperventilating. I had to see Merrick the next day and I already felt the pull of attraction between us, even though I knew the majority of it was one-sided. Knowing now what everyone else saw, though, my nerves tightened.