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I didn't sleep well that night either. Knowing that Merrick was no longer several feet away from me, made my mind wander more often than it ever had before. I wondered if he thought of me the same way I thought of him.

After our conversation on Friday, I knew our friendship was starting to become a little ... more. In fact, I had the feeling that being his nurse was no longer the only motivation for my being there.

His questions about what I looked like caught me off guard, and it was slightly embarrassing that I couldn't describe myself in detail for him. He got frustrated when I gave my answers, needing more detail. His balled fists had made me wonder if he was thinking the same thing I was; if he could touch me, he would be able to see me in his own way.

The thought made my stomach flutter. Merrick was a strong man. His body was toned and fit even if he couldn't get around very well. He kept up on exercises that had nothing to do with his therapy, and I could guarantee that the minute he was healed, he would be training extensively to get back to where he was before he was injured. His fingers could crush my arm if he wanted to, but they could be so incredibly gentle. Watching those fingers learn the feel of objects around him always made me lightheaded. If those fingers ever learned the feel of
me
...

I threw the blankets off my body and fanned my heated skin in the darkness. My attraction to Merrick Thatcher had only gotten worse. I thanked God he couldn't see the affect he had on me each day.

It wasn't just that Merrick was an attractive man. It was the way he apologized when he knew he screwed up. The way he thought about what he wanted to say when he explained something or answered a question. It was the way I clung to every word that came out of his mouth.

I felt like I could be myself around Merrick and he wouldn't judge me. Of course he was abrasive when he got frustrated and sometimes he could be a little frightening with his intensity, but he never insulted me for just being me.

His scars looked painful, but they didn't take away from his attractiveness. They added to it. As silly as that sounds, I couldn't see Merrick without them. They told a story about his life and what he went through, and even if I wished I could take those painful experiences away, they made him the man he is today.

A man that was more whole now than he had been all those years ago.

***

Monday came and went. Merrick didn't speak much, and knowing he was worried for his brother kept me from pushing him. After going through his exercises, I left him to himself for periods of time here and there while I just tried to stay busy.

We ate lunch together in silence, and he excused himself to his room to practice his Braille. The program my mother had ordered for him was amazing, allowing him to spend time on his own, learning. I could hear the silly voice translating what he was reading and wondered if he thought it was as annoying as I did.

I smiled to myself and continued to leave him be. My worries about Josh's previous comments faded away. Dwelling on what he said wouldn't help anyone, so I made a promise to myself. I just wouldn't think about it.

Merrick continued his silence throughout the day. Emma was stopping by earlier than normal, so I left his house around five after an awkward goodbye.

I was worried about him, but there was nothing I could say or do. It was just something he needed to work through on his own. Talking would probably speed it along, but Merrick wasn't much of a talker.

Mom was just pulling into the driveway when I opened the front door to my house.

"You want to go to a movie, Grace?" she asked the second she climbed out of the car.

"Sure. What movie?"

She shrugged and said, "Something romantic. I feel like a cheesy romance and since your dad has an emergency surgery, he won't be home for a few hours."

We changed into more comfortable clothes and Mom drove us into town. We spent the next couple of hours munching on popcorn, crying when the characters in the movie finally discovered they had been in love all along.

We stopped for some ice cream and picked up some food for Dad who called and informed us he would be home soon. It was nice to have some time with my mom. No questions or concerns.

By the time we made it home, I was ready to go to bed and Mom looked like she was ready to go out and party.

"You feeling alright, Grace?"

I put Dad's food in the fridge and turned back to her, seeing the curious expression on her face. "I'm fine. Just tired. Didn't sleep much over the weekend."

"How is Mitch doing?"

"He's recovering. I think they're discharging him in the next couple of days. I offered to help with his homecare, but since he lives with Emma and Nathan, she said they could handle it."

"Poor Emma. Having two sons so hurt is too much. I couldn't imagine you being injured like that. I don't know that I would stay sane knowing my baby had been hurt so badly."

I watched her frown and shake her head. She rounded the center island and pulled me into her arms.

"You go to bed. I'll wait up for your dad. I love you, Grace."

"I love you, too, Mom."

When she finally let me go, I didn't quite feel any better. My worry for Merrick was ever present, but it was the worry for his mind that kept me up at night. He still suffered with the trauma of what happened in Iraq and probably always would. He may have a strong body, but his mind was still very fragile.

The amount of nights he woke up screaming seemed to be happening less and less, and I just hoped that Mitch's accident didn't cause a setback. Merrick loved his family. His little brother had looked up to him his whole life.

Not having siblings myself, I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose one or
almost
lose one. But Keara was like a sister to me, and imagining losing her made me completely lose my breath.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth, then sat on my bed and found myself staring out the window of my bedroom. It was strange knowing he was there but no lights were on. I started to hum as I undressed and found a tank and sleep shorts to wear. I jumped when I heard the blinds pull up at Merrick's window, covering my naked breasts out of instinct while I let out a squeak.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" he asked.

"Yes, I was dressing and–" I immediately stopped talking and closed my eyes. My blinds were mostly shut, but even if they were pulled up completely, Merrick wouldn't see me dressing.

"Damn!" he said, amusement in his tone. I pulled on the tank and shorts and moved toward the window, raising the blinds and leaning against the window sill. I strained my eyes to see in the darkness of his room and could barely make out the outline of his figure.

"Damn what?" I asked.

"I would have liked to see that," he replied, sighing dramatically.

I swallowed, the action harder than it should be, and opened my mouth to ask why. He didn't give me the chance.

"How was the barbeque yesterday? I'm sorry I didn't ask earlier."

I shrugged off the shock and decided to box his comment up so I could address it later while lying in my bed thinking of him anyway. "You have a lot going on, Merrick. I didn't even realize you knew I went."

"Mom told me."

I grinned. "Well, I didn't even know
she
knew I went."

Merrick chuckled softly, and I wished I could see the rare smile that would have been on his face at that exact moment. I dashed over to the switch and flipped off my light before resuming my position by the window. It only took several seconds for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but I started to see him more clearly.

A sliver of moonlight was shining on his handsome face and instead of sitting with only his right side facing me like he always did, he was turned towards me. I could barely make out his features, but it was enough.

The smile was still there.

"So?" he asked.

"It was a lot of fun. The Colson boys know how to entertain and Keara is always fun to spend time with."

"Aren't both of Josh's brothers married?"

"Yes, and their wives are hilarious," I said, a beaming smile stretching across my face just thinking about them.

He grinned again before suddenly furrowing his brow, frowning. "So, were you there alone?"

"Are you asking me if I brought someone?"

"Yes," he answered without hesitation.

Curious.

"I didn't take anyone with me. I don't really have anyone to take."
Oh shit, did that sound pathetic? Why did I say that?

Merrick's features were becoming more visible as the moonlight continued to light up his face. He looked unsure about my answer. "How is that possible?" he finally asked.

"How is
what
possible?"

"Not having anyone to take with you."

"Pfft, it's easy," I said dismissively. "I stay too busy to really meet anyone."

He nodded his agreement and I could have sworn I saw a grin on his face. He knew exactly what – or whom – I stayed busy with. "Have you ever been serious with someone?"

I had no idea where this was coming from, and I really wasn't prepared for these kinds of questions. Discussing my love life with Merrick seemed out of the realm of possibility, but he was sitting several feet away from me,
asking
me to discuss it.

My discomfort must have been shamefully obvious because Merrick shook his head and raked a hand through his hair, grumbling, "Never mind."

I thought about all the things Merrick had endured over the last few weeks with me. He wasn't really a talker, so the sharing of secrets wasn't the issue, but he trusted me with things that a man usually never has to trust
anyone
with. I had seen him vulnerable, which clearly wasn't easy for a man like Merrick Thatcher.

I could give him this. He trusted me, so I could trust him with this.

"I've been serious with someone before. Just one man," I rasped. "I've been too busy lately to really put much thought into anyone else and Jason wasn't really the kind of man that ... well, he made me doubt relationships altogether."

Merrick nodded, confusion clouding his expression. He patiently waited, giving me the chance to say more if I wanted to.

I took a deep breath, quickly filing through what was appropriate to tell him. "It wasn't a very good situation. He stopped loving me, and keeping him happy wasn't worth the heartache it caused," I informed him, hoping that the hurt I felt over a year ago wouldn't come back with a force that could knock me over. Not now.

Merrick was quiet for a long time, obviously ruminating on what I just told him. He was fighting something, but I couldn't figure out what. I wanted him to say something,
anything
that would make me feel less exposed to him.

"What if it was?" he finally asked.

"I'm sorry?"

"What if it
was
worth it? What if it was still a lot of work, but he
made
it worth it?"

I pictured Jason and everything I went through to try to make him happy. I believed that a relationship takes sacrifice from both sides, but I was the only one sacrificing while he lived the life he wanted. If he had been any different, made me feel like I was special to him or like I was important to him, would I still be with him?

No. I wouldn't be. What we had wasn't love, it was obligation. It wasn't real. Not for one minute.

"The answer is in the question, don't you think?" I said, shrugging. "Love ...
real
love ... is worth anything."

This time, it was me who waited. Merrick seemed to think my answer was strange if the look on his face said anything at all.

"Do you, umm ..." He cleared his throat and scratched his cheek. The scruff he had a hard time taming was sexy on him, but I could tell he wanted to shave, badly. He just didn't think he could. "Do you think, maybe, you could do me a favor?"

I smirked because Merrick Thatcher didn't ask for help, but I wasn't about to complain. He had changed the subject, after all. "Sure."

He scratched his cheek again, dropping his head forward so I couldn't see his face anymore. "My parents are coming over for dinner tomorrow night and their bringing someone kind of important. I, uh, I want to make sure I'm presentable. I guess."

"Okay?"

He sighed and shook his head as if he was chastising himself for being nervous. "I don't think I can shave on my own without cutting myself or missing something. Do you think you could ... I don't know, maybe ..."

I smiled because, again, Merrick wasn't a talker, but tonight he was rambling. Never in my life had I seen something so adorable, and I would bet my meager savings account that his cheeks were pink.

I was tempted to put him out of his misery and say,
'Yes, of course I'll help you shave'
, but this was much more enjoyable.

"Fuck, I'm so bad at this," he murmured.

I had to slap a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. The harshness of his words were in complete contrast to the utter vulnerability that was radiating off of him. My laugh slipped past my fingers and I could no longer contain it.

"Oh Merrick, you're adorable, you know that?"

He lifted his head, sending a dramatic scowl my way. It only made me laugh harder.

"Adorable? I'm
not
adorable."

"You are, though."

"I am not," he argued.

I shook my head and let the laughter die out. The poor guy had no idea how appealing he actually was. His typical grumpiness did nothing to hide it.

"I'll help you shave, Merrick. I would love to help you. Even though I know you could do it by yourself."

He sighed, those broad shoulders slumping with relief. "Thank you, Grace. This is important to me."

"I can tell."

We both sat in silence for a few minutes. The moon still shined on his face and I continued to lean against the window sill, getting my fill of him. The cool breeze outside swept my hair back and made me smile.

Peace.

I hoped Merrick was feeling the same way.

It was several minutes before he finally spoke again. "What other songs do you know?" he asked softly.