Waking Up (43 page)

“You’re not making sense,” she says, reaching out and laying her hand on top of mine.  Typical, Adri.  Always comforting everyone else.  

With shaking nerves and a pit in my stomach that won’t go away, I force the words out.  “Before the accident, Alex asked me to do something for him.”  I watch her eyes go wide and Tucker go stiff beside her.  “There was a gift he wanted to give you for your next birthday.  Obviously that birthday has come and gone.  It took me a while to decide if I should still do it or not, but, in my heart, I knew it’s what Alex would want.  I finished it yesterday and decided to bring it here today.”

Her face has gone pale and I think she’s shaking a little.  I want to hold her like I did our whole lives, but I’m afraid what it will do to her in this moment.  I’m not sure if she can handle looking weak in front of Tucker.

“Wh-what’s the gift?” she whispers.

“Words can’t tell you.  I need to show you.  Standing, I grab her hand and lead her to her door.  “Do you want shoes?”  She shakes her head no and I can tell she’s struggling to keep her emotions in check.  Tucker is watching me.  It’s clear he doesn’t know if he should follow.  I shake my head yes because I think she should have as much support as possible.  He stands quickly and I instantly respect him.

Opening the door, I keep my body between Adri and her gift.  I want her to see it in all its glory.  I’m proud of this baby, all the hours of work I put into her.  She’s nothing short of beautiful.  I know this gift has the potential to cripple her, send her spiraling back into despair, but I’m hoping it will remind her to let her hair down and have fun.  That’s what Alex wanted when he thought of this gift.

“You ready to see it?” I ask her.

“You need to get it from your car,” she replies.

“Not exactly,” I say pulling her from behind me to show her a shiny, black 1967 Chevy Impala, an exact replica of the car from her favorite TV show.  I hear a small cry escape her throat, see her hand fly to her chest.  When I look at her, tears are pouring down her cheeks.

Oh shit!

I glance back at Tucker who looks like he’s going to use my head for batting practice.  Really respect this dude, but this is my baby sis and he needs to back the fuck off.  “Give us a few minutes, please?” I ask.

He doesn’t appear to like it, but he nods and walks back inside.  I almost laugh when I see that he stands in the doorway watching us from the window, arms crossed over his chest.  Adri’s protector.

Adri.  She hasn’t moved.  Her hand is clenched at her chest and I can hear small sobs coming from her now.  This is what I was worried about.

Chapter Forty Five

Adriana

Oh God!  An Impala.  He always told me one day he’d get me my dream car, just like my daddy used to have and just like Dean drives.

My heart is aching, so much pain reverberating through my body I swear my chest is going to cave in on itself.  Each breath feels like stones are being piled on my chest, stealing my breath from me.  I’m struggling to stay upright, not fall to my knees and beg God to take me now.  Bring me to Alex.

Alex.  The man who loved me so much he’s sending me gifts from heaven.   

Alex, you’re supposed to be here to drive around the block with me.  To make Mick jealous because I have the Supernatural car and she doesn’t just like we talked about, but you’re not.  Here you are, reaching out to me still, reminding me how much you love me.  You love me.  I’m so sorry.  I’m a terrible wife.  I forgot how much you love me Alex.  I started to move on.  That’s over now.  I get what this car means.  It’s a reminder of our life, our talks.  I love you, too, baby.  I’m sorry I lost my way.  I’ll ask Tucker to leave in the morning.  It’s just you and me, forever and always—like we promised each other.

“Adri, do you want me to take the car back to my shop?”  

“Huh?  Wh-why do you want to take Alex’s gift away?”  I’m confused and hurt that Adrian wants to take this piece of Alex that he brought me.

“Baby girl, you’ve been standing there for forty five minutes crying, not answering me.  You were starting to scare me.”

“Forty five minutes?  What are you talking about, A?  We just walked out here.”  Didn’t we?  Adrian showed me the car and I started thinking of Alex, but it was only a few minutes.

“Adri, you went comatose on me.  I thought I was going to have to take you to the hospital.  Tucker is freaking out because I told him to let me handle this and made him stay inside.  Think he wants to beat my ass.”

“Tucker?”  I’m confused as to why he’s talking to me about Tucker when he should be telling me about Alex’s present.  I want to hear about Alex.

He looks at me and I can’t tell what the emotion is on his face, but I think it’s anger.  I’m not sure because Adrian’s never been angry with me before.  Sure, we’ve had sibling spats, but he’s never been truly angry.  His eyes darken and his lips purse.  I swear I can see his muscles tense.  “Hell No, Adri!  You do not get to do this again!  I’m not standing by and watching you be a fucking zombie again, do you hear me?  You don’t get to check out on me and break my heart again.”  Tears start spilling onto his cheeks. 

“A?”

“NO!  You listen.  I have stayed silent since Alex died.”  I flinch at the word.  It still sounds so harsh.  “I’ve let you mourn however you needed to because I thought at some point you’d wake up, you’d come back to life, but you didn’t.  So, I made good on my promise to Alex and found that car and restored it for you.  I was hoping that would be the wakeup call you needed.  But, when I got here, I found that you already got your wake up call.  And I’m thrilled for you, sis.”

“Excuse me,” I spit at him.  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I see the way you are with Tucker.  How you blush.  Sitting on your hands.  Not wanting me to see you look at him.  There’s only been one other guy in your life you acted that way around.”

“STOP!  Just stop.  I’m sending him away.  This gift,” I motion to the Impala, “reminded me why Tucker shouldn’t be here.  I love Alex.  He’s my husband.  This car was his way of telling me how much he loves me.  I need to show him I still love him, too.”

I need my brother to understand, but he’s watching me like I’ve lost my mind.  How can I get him to understand that I have to do this?  “I made vows with Alex.  We promised each other forever and always.  I promised him forever and always, Adrian.  I can’t go back on that now just because he’s not here.”

“You also promised him till death do you part, baby sister.  I’m sorry, Adri, but that vow has come and gone.”  His voice is quieter now, gentle.  “I loved Alex, too.  He was my friend.  I considered him my brother and one thing I know about him is he would want you to be happy.  He would want you to move on and find love again.  And, I also know, he would like and respect Tucker.”

My face flies up to meet my brother’s eyes.  Compassion and love greet me.  He’s right.  Oh God, he’s right.  Alex would want all of that for me, but knowing that doesn’t make it easy to accept.  Adrian opens his arms and I fall into them, both of us letting our tears fall.  Mine fall for the confusion over my life.  It wasn’t supposed to be this way.   I was supposed to be happy, Alex by my side, kids running around.  Not twenty-five years old and struggling to find a reason to get out of bed every day.

Why does fate hate me so much?

Adrian and I pull ourselves together enough that he can show me the car.  It’s a thing of pure beauty.  Several times I look to the sky and silently thank Alex for my black beauty.  I can’t wait to drive her by Mick’s house.  I wish my dad were here to see it.

A and I talk about the baby blue one our dad had when we were kids and how much we loved when he drove us to school in it.  We thought we were so cool getting dropped off in that car even though the other kids had no idea what it was.  I think that car is what started my brother’s love for restoring old cars. 

Tucker was a presence I couldn’t shake the whole time I checked out the car.  I could feel his stare, his eyes boring holes into my back.  I tried to ignore him, have this time be about Alex, but it felt like he was touching me his stare was so intense.  I finally gave in, turned around to see him standing in the doorway, blue eyes intently watching my every move.  Normally, I’d be creeped out by this kind of attention, but the concern on his face was my undoing.  Waving him out, I stood back and watched Adrian clap Tucker on the back before he showed him the car.  They did the typical guy thing, talking shop, engine specs, how fast the car could go in so many seconds.  It was laughable seeing the excitement pour off them, how they talked over each other.  Apparently Tucker has a love for old cars, too.

Chapter Forty Six

Victoria

Giving my hair one last fluff and applying my favorite lipstick, I smile at my image in the mirror.  After seeing Tucker with the blonde, I decided my best payback was to ruffle some feathers.  Best way to do that is to make her feel insecure.  No one knows how to mess with a woman like another woman.  I run my hands down my frame, happy with how my green satin top hugs tight to my slim waist, cuts low showing ample cleavage, and my ass hugging shorts paired with stilettos makes my caramel legs appear to go on for miles.  Let’s see how little Ms. Backwoods deals with me.

Chapter Forty Seven

Tucker

It killed me watching Adriana work through a myriad of emotions while sidelined by her brother.  All I wanted was to go to her, shake her from the shock she was trapped in, wrap her in the warmth of my arms, and tell her it would be alright.  I respected her brother for stepping up, feeling the need to handle the situation.  He didn’t know me or how much I knew about his sister.  It only made sense to ask me to step back as he got her under control, but it broke my heart seeing her suffer.

I felt useless standing inside her house, watching through glass for any sign that Adrian wanted or needed my help, but he never asked for it.  Even when I saw the panic setting in, when I could see fear in his face and worry that she was beyond his reach, he never asked for my help.  He continued talking to her.  I’m assuming trying to bring her back from wherever her mind had taken her.  When she finally came out of it, it took all my restraint to stay where I was, continue to be a bystander, but I could see they were having a moment.  Something I should not intrude on.  The last thing I expected was to see her collapse into his arms with both of them crying while I was the creep watching this very private moment unfold.  And, as much as I should have walked away then, I couldn’t.  Not until I was sure she was alright.

Things got better rapidly.  They wiped their eyes and I saw them smiling and joking as he walked her to the car.  I’m ashamed to admit it, but I got turned on watching her run her hands over the hood.  It was like she was caressing it and I was imagining what I would like to do to her on it.  Everywhere she walked around the car, her fingers skimmed, her face a picture of joy listening to Adrian talk.  When she waved me outside to join them, I felt like I could breathe for the first time since she walked outside.

I was happy when Adrian left after dinner although I enjoyed the hours we spent with him.  I’m looking forward to our visit to his shop.  I was impressed with his knowledge of cars and can’t wait to see the 1969 AMX he’s currently restoring.  I told him about my ’64 ‘Vette and Adriana made us coffee while we chatted cars.  Adrian was funny and easy to talk to.  I kept waiting for the “if you hurt my sister, I’ll blah, blah, blah” conversation, but it never came.  After meeting him, I’m even more curious about meeting the sister.

Now, we’re on the couch, stomachs stuffed with mint chocolate chip ice cream, watching Serendipity.  I couldn’t believe she had this movie.  Seriously one of the best romance movies of all times and every time I’ve ever mentioned it to someone they haven’t heard of it.

Until tonight.

I suggested a movie.  Figured she could use a calm night after the emotional afternoon she had.  She asked what movie I would like to watch and I told her if we were at my place it would be Serendipity, but that no one ever knows the movie I’m talking about.  Her nose scrunched up like she didn’t know what I was talking about and I figured I had lost someone again.  She told me to wait, that she thought she had something I might like and to sit down and relax.  So, I did as I was told.  She returned with one of her smiles that has the power to knock me off my feet and told me to close my eyes because the movie is a surprise.  Not one to want to ruin her playful mood, I play along.  A minute later, I feel the cushion sink beside me and her warmth press up the side of my body.  It’s killing me to keep my eyes closed.  Her hand presses onto my thigh and it’s the sweetest torture.  I feel her body turn slightly toward me and I can feel her breath near my ear. 

“You can open your eyes now.”

Slowly, I peel my lids open, not too fast because I’m basking in the sensation of her body against mine.  The opening credits to Serendipity are on the screen before me.  My eyes find hers and hers are sparkling with delight.

“It’s one of my favorite movies,” she says, the smile never leaving her face.  She hits play, lays her head on my chest, and I feel my heart expand.  It literally swells to allow space to care more for her than I thought possible.  I’m not sure what she’s doing to me, but I do know there’s no going back.

I wrap my arm around her shoulder, pull her closer to me, and settle in for a relaxing night with the only person I want to be with.  For the first time since I met Adriana, I don’t have the urge to devour her.  I simply want to be here, with her, just exist in this space, with her.  I know I’m in trouble, but I can’t find it anywhere in me to care or want to stop it.

We’re coming to one of my favorite parts of the movie when the doorbell rings.  Adriana hadn’t mentioned anyone was coming over and the look on her face as she sits up tells me she wasn’t expecting anyone.  Maybe Adrian came back.  He took Alex’s jeep which had been sitting in the garage.  Something could have gone wrong.  She pushes off my chest and I feel the loss of her body next to mine instantly.  Whoever it is, I hope they say what they need quickly and leave.  I pause the movie just in time to hear a voice I would know anywhere.  A voice I’m nowhere near ready to deal with yet.