Waking Up (46 page)

Maybe I can talk him into round two.  
Head up, walk up to him, and take what you want, Adriana!
 

Who the hell am I kidding?  I shocked myself last night.  The adrenalin from telling off Victoria.  Oh no.  Are there paparazzi in my yard?

All thought of being naked are stripped from my mind when I open the bathroom door and step out into the wide eyed stare of a very awake Tucker who is sitting up in my bed with a Cheshire cat grin on his face.  “Morning, sweetness.  You care to join me over here?”

Yes, please
. 

It takes everything in me not to run.  How is it that he is even more hot first thing in the morning? His hair rumpled like he ran his hands through it, a little growth covering his face, his blue eyes are sparkling with arousal, and I can imagine that under my sheets there’s something waiting for me.  Instantly, I’m wet and it has nothing to do with the shower I took.

I go to wipe my hair from my face and realize I have a towel on my head.  Ewww.  Not an attractive look.  Holding up one finger to him, I back myself into the bathroom and close the door.  Quickly, I brush my teeth and brush out my hair.  My entire body is on fire from such a simple question.  How does he do that to me?

I can’t believe I’m going to walk back out there naked, not that I have a choice.  

I know my entire body is blushing as I open the door, but there’s no time to think or worry about it.  Tucker greets me, naked and ready to claim me again.

Chapter Fifty

Tucker

I know the second she saw the tattoo, the date on my back.  Add that to her regret over what happened last night and I’m sure she’ll be sending me packing soon.  I had to pretend I was sleeping to keep her from seeing my heart breaking.  Last night was bad enough.  Hearing her crying out to Alex, telling him she was sorry.  It felt like I was being skinned alive.  I should have known she wasn’t ready.  She’s still… broken.  I need to apologize, let her know I’ll go so she doesn’t have to look at me, see the mistake she made.

Slipping my jeans on, I sulk to the bathroom door and wait for the shower to start.  Hearing her step under the spray, I quietly enter.  I want to make it as easy as possible for her.  She won’t even have to see me this way.  I steal myself for the pain that’s going to come with walking away from her, losing the first woman I’ve ever really cared about.  I get ready to open my mouth, but I hear her start talking.  I think she knows I’m here and she’s talking to me, but I hear his name.  Pain slices through me.  I should walk out now and never look back, but I can’t.  It’s wrong of me to eavesdrop, but I stay and listen to every word.  All I can think is she didn’t let me down, but she gave me hope.  She cares for me, too.  I can work with that.

Leaving as quietly as I entered, I walk back to the bed, take my jeans off, and wait for her.  I’m not sure what I was expecting when she came out of the bathroom, but a completely naked Adriana was not it.  I instantly get hard and the thoughts roaming through my head would make a porn star proud.  She gives me a deer caught in the headlights look and I know I have her.  Naturally, I invite her back to bed.  Watching her nipples harden and her skin flush as she backs herself into the bathroom, I know she wants to join me.

She’s mine when she comes back out.  

Reaching for the nightstand drawer, I grab a condom, roll it over my dick, and go wait for her.

The door opens and my angel stands before me, hair brushed out, body blushing, beautifully naked—she’s so close her stomach is practically impaled by my not so patiently waiting member.  Her tongue darts out to lick across her bottom lip and the small hold I had on my sanity is lost.

Lightening fast, I have her against the wall, lifted up, her legs wrapped around me, and I’ve entered her in one hard push.  My name falling from her lips nearly has me coming.  Her nails dig into my back.  She’s so wet.  It’s heaven in her and I’m lost to the pleasure.  I push her harder against the wall, push faster into the divinity I’ve found in her moisture.  All abandon is lost as I go at her as hard and fast as I can.  Her breathing increases.  Like a vise she tightens around me.  Thank fucking Christ, I can’t hold out much longer.

“Oh God, Tucker.  Harder.  Don’t…  Ohhhh…  Stop…  Ahhhhh.”  Her walls clench tight around me making me want to drop to my knees and worship her for the pleasure she’s giving me.  Ripple after ripple flows through her over my sensitive cock and I’m getting so close.

Pounding her, keeping up a relentless rhythm, her moans fill my ears.  My balls tighten, my release boring down on me.  I want to stay buried in her forever.  I feel the strain all the way down my legs, in my back.  I swear my brain is going to burn up from the orgasm about to let loose.  Stars start to appear behind my eyes.  I bite down on her shoulder, hear her cry out as my release takes over. “Fuuucck!"

It’s not eloquent or romantic, but neither was the way I just took her.  We’re both panting, her head lying on my shoulder as our breathing starts to come under control.  I needed this, she needed this.  Last night is forgotten, the bad parts anyways.

Keeping her wrapped around me, I walk us both into the bathroom and as much as I don’t want to, I put her down while I start the shower and discard my used wrapping.  The water perfect, I reach for her, and pull her in with me.

Her body is perfection, but glistening wet, it’s beyond heavenly.  I came in here to clean her up, not get her dirty again, but I’m not sure I can tell that to my dick that is starting to get hard again.  
Think nasty thoughts, Stavros, rotting food, dog shit… ahhh! Her arms over her head, rinsing her hair, shoving her tits in my face, so does not help!  Where was I?  Right, dog shit—stinky dog shit.  
This isn’t working.  I’m stiff as a fucking board and fucking is what I want to be doing right now. 

Wet fingers wrap around my cock, driving all images of dogs, shit or anything, but Adriana and her well placed hand from my mind.  “Whatcha doing, sweetness?”

The mischief in her eyes is going to be my undoing.  “He looks like he wants some attention, standing there, waving at me so nicely.”  Her voice has dropped an octave and she’s staring at me through her eyelashes.   She keeps her eyes locked with mine while her hands start a trek up and down, the water adding a layer of lubricant and warmth.  Dropping my head back on my shoulders, I let the pleasure roll through me.  I close my eyes, wanting to feel everything—the water spraying on my body, her hand stroking my shaft, her other hand cupping my balls, hear her breathing pick up, know she’s aroused from touching me.

Her body, full body, rubbing against me jerks my head up.  I gaze down at her.  Need shines in her eyes.  I want to take care of her.  Fuck her till she’s sated and satisfied.  “I don’t have a condom.”  It pains me to say because there’s nothing I want more than to be balls deep in her sweet depths, but I’m no bastard.

“I’m on the pill, Tucker. I’m clean.”

“Fuck me,” I roar.

“That’s the plan,” she giggles.  She’s adorable and I’m turned on, bad combination.  Hand around her waist, I turn her in my arms, bend her over so she has no choice but to hold onto the wall, and plunge into her from behind.

Our cries ring out in unison.  She wiggles her ass back on me and I swear I’m going to come like a prepubescent teenager if she keeps it up.   Smacking her ass, I love the “ooh” sound that comes out of her mouth contrasting with the slapping of my hand off her wet skin.  Soft whimpers continue to fall from her lips as I plow into her, her arms holding tight, keeping her in place.  My hands are braced on her hips, giving me extra leverage, allowing me deeper penetration.  I feel like a man starved and she’s my first meal in years.  I can’t get enough of her.  The feel of my dick buried in her wetness, filling her, burying myself until I can’t go any deeper—I’m crazed with my need to possess every part of her.

Her muscles tighten around me.  Holy Christ, it isn’t possible to feel better, but it does.  She’s squeezing me, her orgasm working its way closer.  Her whimpers turn to moans overtaking the sounds of the water.  Our bodies slap together.  I hear myself growling, my fingers are digging into her hips.  My climax is close… so close… oh, Goddamn, it’s coming.

“Adriana!”

“Tucker!”

We scream each other’s names as we fall over the edge together.  Holy shit.  I’ve never barebacked before and that was fucking amazing.  I can’t catch my breath or slow my racing heart.  I think this woman is going to be the death of me.

But, what sweeter way to die?

Slowly, I pull out of her and spin her to face me, placing a kiss to her lips, guilt swamping me that I took her twice without kissing her.  I’m not an animal, even if I acted like it. I can’t help that I lose all sense of myself when she’s around.  Her tiny frame molds into mine and contentment fills me.  It’s a foreign feeling.  It’s uncomfortable and overwhelming and I don’t want it to stop.

“So, what’s up with the gigantic bedroom and bathroom?” I ask her, needing a break from the serious emotions rolling through me.

Her laughter tickles across my chest.  “You haven’t even seen the closet yet.”  Her tiny laugh from before turns into full blown laughter, the kind that starts at your toes and works its way up.  She’s holding her sides and wiping at her eyes.  I’m trying to wash her up, but it’s impossible with the way she’s doubled over.  I’m not sure what she finds so funny, but damn she’s gorgeous and seeing her laughing almost has me hard again.  Laying my hand along her cheek, I rub my thumb over her bottom lip.

“You are beyond beautiful.”

Her laughter starts to subside and I see her face turn more serious.  I miss the woman I saw seconds ago.  “Alex and I planned to have a big family.  That’s why this is a seven bedroom house.  He always told me there’d be days the kids would make us crazy and we’d want to get away, want a place that was just ours.  He wanted to create a space that was for us.”  I see sadness cross over her eyes.  “He said it would be our place to relax, to enjoy each other, a place of love and comfort.  Our little kingdom.  That’s why it’s so big,” she says on a false giggle.  “To be honest, Tucker, now that it’s just me, I feel like I’m being swallowed whole.  It’s too much for one person.  This was our dream and he’s not here anymore.  I was thinking of selling and moving, but our friends our here and. . . ”

Wrapping her as tight as I can to me, I whisper, “It’s okay to be angry at him, Adriana.  You know that, right?”

I’m not ready for her to push herself off me or for the murderous look in her eyes.  “I’m not angry at Alex.  You’re out of line, Tucker.  Alex didn’t do anything!  He was taken away from me.  He didn’t choose to leave.  He didn’t have a choice!”  Her voice is shrill, anger dripping from every word and I see the tears forming.  Dammit.  I didn’t mean to hurt her.  I watch her turn her back on me and all I can do is sigh.  I would say I opened my mouth and inserted my foot, but really all I did was say something she didn’t want to hear.  Adriana still isn’t dealing with her grief and it’s stopping her from living her life.

Then, why do I feel so bad?

Quickly finishing the shower, I dress and make her bed before returning to my room, replaying her conversation with Alex over and over in my head.  She likes me and worries about letting me down.  It means she cares about me.

To what degree?  Is her grief going to make her push me away?  

She’s going to want me to apologize and I can’t do that.  I’m sorry what I said hurt her, but I’m not sorry I said it.  Her friends have walked around for over a year on eggshells around her getting nowhere.  She needed to hear what I said whether she liked it or not.  Her one-sided conversations with her dead husband and her inability to let her friends talk about him without having panic attacks—it’s been going on too long.  It’s time for some tough love and some brutal honesty.  I’m the guy for the job because the one thing I am is honest.

Nutting up, I run my fingers through my wet hair and make my way down the stairs.  I stop dead in my tracks when I hear Skid Row’s
Wasted Time
coming through the speakers.  My heart clenches hoping this song isn’t intended for me.  Adriana is standing at the sink, eyes fixated on something beyond the window.  The microwave dings, but she doesn’t move.  I wonder if she knows I’m here. 

I know every time she’s in the room.  The air shimmers with electricity.  The hairs on my arms stand at attention, I’m sure hoping to touch her first.  My ears drum with awareness of every sound, each nuance of noise resonating through me.  I hum with anticipation whenever she’s near me, waiting for her to touch me, speak to me, grace me with any part of her beauty.  I’m lost to everything that makes up Adriana.

Clearing my throat, my heart sinks when she turns sad eyes to me.  I could deal with the angry eyes that I saw when she left the shower, but this—this is the Adriana that pushes me away.  The Adriana that shuts everybody out.  

“Smells good.”  I try to smile, but fail.  The knot in my stomach is growing.  

“I heated up some muffins from yesterday.  Figured you’d be hungry.”  She’s talking, but she’s not looking at me.  She’s not looking at anything.

“I could eat.  Worked up quite the appetite,” I tease.  It hits its intended mark because she blushes and a small smile curves her lips.  I guess she doesn’t totally hate me.  I don’t want to lose what we’ve started, but I know there’s a damn good chance she’s going to tell me to pack up and head out.  The faraway stare she had a few seconds ago wasn’t a good one.  If she tells me to go, I hope what I have to say to her helps her to move forward with her life because she can’t keep going like she has been and I don’t want to be the reason she goes backwards.  Unease settles in my stomach and I wonder if I should say anything at all.

“Penny for your thoughts,” I vaguely hear her ask.

“Hmmm?”

“You look pretty lost in your head over there, Tucker.  Thought that was my job.”  The sadness in her tone is almost my undoing, but it is also the fire I need to do what has to be done.  No matter the outcome, someone has to be the bad guy and say it straight to her.  Looks like I’m going to be that guy.  What does Grams always tell me?  
What’s meant to be, will be.
  Let’s hope she understands why I need to say this when all is said and done.