Warped (3 page)

CHAPTER FIVE

DAMON

I lie awake and watch Ella sleeping peacefully below me. She’s so fucking beautiful.  She passed out with me still deep inside her and I can’t bring myself to pull out. I’d live in her pussy if I could. She’s so fucking snug around my cock. I’m still hard. How can I not be when I’m still buried to the hilt?

Tonight went to shit, but she shocked me. I didn’t expect her to come to me. I thought she was closing herself off again but it seems to have opened her up more.

I don’t know what Leona is playing at but she needs to stop. I’m not losing Ella before the time comes for her to know my secrets. I need her for as long as I can keep her. I’ll do whatever it takes to make her love me. I need her to love me if I want my plan to work. She needs to be in so deep that she can’t fucking breathe without me.

That’s what she does to me.

I run my fingers through her dark hair and bury my face in her neck. Her hair is as silky as her smooth skin. I breathe in her coconut scent, mixed with sex and me and it’s fucking intoxicating. She’s intoxicating.

I need her to marry me. It’s my only chance of keeping her when she finds out what a monster I am. She’s going to need all her strength to survive me. I don’t fucking deserve her, but I’m selfish enough not to give a fuck and keep her anyway.

I move and Ella’s inner walls flutter against my dick, pulling a growl from me. Her eyes flicker and she lets out a breathy moan. It’s the sexiest fucking sound I’ve ever heard. She’s so responsive to me. Every sound and look from my beauty has my cock hard as steel.

That’s what she does to me.

I won’t have that taken away from me.

I won’t lose her.

Ella begins to fidget beneath me and I know I’m getting too heavy for her. I slowly pull out, closing my eyes, and enjoying her sex resisting to release me. I’m full mast again by the time I’m all the way out, and I want nothing more than to take her again but I know she’s tired.

I go and get a washcloth from the bathroom and wet it, before returning to my bedroom to clean her up. She’s fucking stunning, naked and in my bed. It makes me act like a caveman when I see her like this. Her swollen pink nipples match her lips, both puffy from my lips. Her pussy is still wet with my come, and her hair is wild with that just-fucked look. She’s perfect.

I kiss the globes of her tits and can’t take my hands off her then. I throw the washcloth to the floor and climb on the bed, lying down.

I roll to the side and lie on my back, pulling Ella to me. I hate sleeping without her in my arms. I’ve never been a snuggler before, never had anyone I wanted to hold all night, but Ella makes me crave it almost as much as I crave her pussy.

I brush the hair back from her face, and kiss her forehead. I don’t want to break my beauty, but that’s inevitable. She’s going to eventually see me for the man I am. A monster. I hope she’s strong enough to take me.

I just hope I don’t destroy her too much.

Ella is mine and I will do every fucking thing I can to keep her. I know she accepted my marriage proposal, but with the way she pulled back, I need to make sure she doesn’t change her mind. She can’t change her mind.

I’ll keep Leona as far away from my beauty as possible. I’ll have to have a talk with her. Leona will stay away for me. She has to. She’ll lose me otherwise. I know that’s what Ella wants now but I can’t just drop Leona. I can’t do that to her.

Leona knows the real me, she knows the monster inside.

I need her on my side or I could lose it all.

I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of Ella’s hair, before pressing my lips against her head. She doesn’t even know how beautiful she is, how sexy she is. That’s what draws me in, what puts me under her spell.

CHAPTER SIX

JUNE 12
TH
2014

ELLA

Sitting at the dining room table, I feel like shit. I had to dash straight to the toilet to be sick when I woke up but Damon slept through it, which is a good thing. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hide my morning sickness from Damon. He’s not stupid.  He’ll work it out if I can’t keep the sickness to a minimum. If only it was that easy to keep sickness to a minimum, but it’s not that easy to control.

I rest my hand on my belly. Jellybean deserves better than what I am at the minute. I need to get Leona out of the picture and take Damon down so I can get my life settled again. Just a few nights ago I decided I wanted to have a life with Damon. I saw our whole life together and I wanted it.

Now I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know where to go next.

I’m scared of the unknown.

The faint sound of my mobile ringing pulls me out of my musing. Standing and following the sound, I locate it in my handbag by the front door. Just as I realise where it is, the ringing stops, and starts ringing again straight away.

I rush to grab it because not many people have my mobile number, and usually if I miss a call, the caller will leave a message, not ring straight back. I grab my phone from my bag and see an unknown number calling. I connect the call and bring it to my ear, hesitant to speak.

“Ella, dear?” a familiar voice says down the line.

“Speaking.”

“It’s Flora, Damon’s mother. How are you dear?”

“I’m well, thank you Flora. How are you and George?”

“We’re lovely, thank you. I’m just ringing to see if you and Damon are coming to Sunday lunch this week? I tried his phone but it went straight to voicemail.”

“He’s in the shower. I’ll ask him to ring you when he’s out. I’m not sure of his plans.”

“Lovely, dear. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Flora,” I say with a smile. I love Damon’s mum. She oozes motherly love.

“I’ll hopefully see you soon.”

“Okay. See you, Flora.

“Bye Ella,” she says before hanging up.

I place my phone on the table and think about Damon’s family. I don’t want them getting hurt when I take Damon down. They don’t deserve it. For my plan to work I need his family on my side. They need to find out about the kiss and feel sorry for me. Damon needs to feel guilty.

That means I can’t go for Sunday roast this week. I need them to find out about the kiss and think I was too hurt and upset to turn up. A little slip to his family in a week or two would be perfect for them to start seeing Damon for who he really is.  

****

Damon takes the day off work and we spend it lounging around, watching films and pigging out. Damon doesn’t turn his phone on all day and he doesn’t call his mum back. He said he’ll take care of it tomorrow but today was all about taking care of me.

CHAPTER SEVEN

JUNE 13
TH
2014

I can’t sleep. My brain won’t shut down, won’t give me peace to rest, won’t stop images of Leona wrapped around Damon flying through my head every time I shut my eyes. It’s all I see. We had a good day yesterday.

Damon was kind and extremely attentive to how I was feeling, constantly asking me if I was okay, and smothering me in hugs and kisses.  It felt good at the time, but now... my stomach churns, my eyes water, and I choke back a sob.

It’s dark outside, still the dead of the night, but that doesn’t stop the thoughts swirling around my head.

I should have walked away the minute I found out I was carrying Damon’s child. I should have run and not looked back.

I didn’t.

Instead I decided that we could do this. That Damon could be my forever.

I was wrong.

I roll over and climb from Damon’s bed, careful not to wake him. I need time away from him, time to regain control, time to think about my future. I didn't realise this would be so exhausting. My mind is a constant whirl of mixed emotions and it’s wearing me down. My hand drops to my stomach as I walk from Damon’s room, quietly shutting the door behind me, and continue down stairs to the kitchen. 

Tears fill my eyes as I seat myself on a barstool at the island and rest my head in my hands. How has my life turned upside down so quickly? The only good thing to come out of the last three years has been my jellybean.

My jellybean that I need to protect with everything I am. My eyes stream, wetting my cheeks as my tears spill over. Maybe I just need to leave. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to take on Damon, to break him.

I accepted his marriage proposal only so I can destroy him, but the more time I’ve had inside my head as he sleeps, the more time I’ve had to realise that by following through with my plans I could cause harm to my baby. I’m not prepared to do that. 

Damon has a way of breaking through my defences. He has a way of making me weak for him, making me depend on him.

I can’t let him do that. I can’t let him take away another member of my family. I wish my pops was here to help me, to show me what I should do. I’ve never felt so confused, so lost. I feel more alone now than I did when I lost Lydia.

The pain I’m feeling at Damon’s betrayal is exactly why I’ve shut off my emotions the last three years. My heart aches deep in my chest and my hand comes up to rub the area but it does nothing to help ease the pain. I stand and move towards the table where I placed my bag last night. I grab Lydia’s diary and read some in the hopes of finding something I didn’t see before.

April 11th 2011

I can’t do this. He’s stopped me from being able to enter the building in which we work. He won’t talk to me. He won’t see me. He won’t even answer the phone.

He needs to know I can make everything okay. I love him. I need to tell him I’m sorry.

I can’t live without Damon. He makes my life complete. He makes me happy.

He belongs with me.

I need to find a way in again. I need him to notice me.

I need him to love me again. 

Whimpers start slipping past my parted lips as I try to hold back the sobs wanting to break free. Tears stain my face. My body is physically exhausted and crying just makes me feel weak to the bone. My body slumps forward as I give in to the emotion I need to release.

Lydia really loved him and he threw their love away like it meant nothing. I don’t know if I can trust him to not break me further if I give us a try. I don’t know what to do. What would be the best thing to do? Pops was the one I turned to for advice but I don’t have that option. He’s not here.

After what seems like hours, my tears finally start to dry and exhaustion sets in. I stand on shaky legs and move to get a glass of water. My throat hurts, my head pounds, and my heart feels like its bleeding pain into my bloodstream, pushing around the hurt until it fills every inch of me. 

I gulp the refreshing cold water down and it soothes my throat a little. Leaning in to the counter, using my hands to hold me up and support my weight, I shut my eyes and take a deep breath.

“Pops,” I choke out, “I need help. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to go. I need a sign. Just... something... anything.” I finish on a whisper, my throat constricting, as I struggle to breathe. I thought I’d cried all I could, but tears spill again. I tightly squeeze my eyes shut. “Just... anything, Daddy. Please. What do I do?” I choke out, knowing no response will come.

My pops was always there for me. He played mum and dad to us growing up. We were never afraid to talk to him about anything. He gave the best advice and even better hugs. That’s what I need right now. It’s exactly what I’m missing the most. I need my daddy’s arms around me telling me everything will be okay.

“Please, Daddy. Just a sign.” I sigh, knowing it is useless asking for help, asking him to guide me through this. It’s not possible. My pops is gone. He’s dead. I’ll never again get to have his arms around me.

I stumble my way to the lounge and lie down on the sofa, curling into myself. Sometimes I wish I could be strong like Lydia was, but I’m not. I’ve tried to be. I’ve tried to get revenge for her but I wasn’t strong enough. I’ve tried to be who I need to be, who I think I’m meant to be, but nothing changes. I never feel better for it.

I need to make the biggest decision of my life. I need to decide what I’m going to do next, but first I need sleep so I can think properly. I cry myself into a restless sleep, not even able to escape my pain in slumber.  

CHAPTER EIGHT

I startle awake and my heart pounds as fear freezes me in place. What the fuck was that? I look around in confusion, not sure what woke me but knowing it sounds like someone is in agony. Pain filled cries erupt through the house, making my hair stand on end. My eyes widen and my breath stutters out of me as I realise what the noise is.

My sleep dazed brain finally wakes up and I’m able to move. Rational sense returns to me and I dash from the sofa, running up the stairs as fast as I can to try to get to Damon. Someone is hurting him. They have to be. He sounds like he’s being tortured, like his life is being painfully ended in his room.

My heart pounds as I race down the hall to his room and crash into the door, throwing it open and not caring about all the noise I’m making. My eyes scan the room for danger. I release the breath I’ve been holding as I realise Damon is alone.

His body thrashes, tangled in the sheets wrapped around his lower half, as he cries out tortured animalistic sounds. Calling out his name, I try to break through his nightmare. It does nothing. In fact it makes him struggle more.

“NOOOOOO.” He roars as his body bows off the bed. “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. God, no.” I run across the room to him, and the need to comfort him overwhelms me. He may have hurt me but my heart still belongs to him, still beats for him.

I place my hand on his shoulder and shake him. “Damon!” I shout. His body instantly stills. “Damon, wake up,” I say loudly. My blood pounds in my ears. What the hell has him so scared? His whole body shakes. “Damon.” My voice breaks.

God he seems ruined. I’ve never seen him like this, never seen his vulnerability below the surface. Is this what Spence meant when he said Damon has demons from his past?

Dark eyes suddenly crash with mine, his chest heaves as he looks around the room like a caged animal looking for an escape. I run my fingers down his face, trying to bring him peace. His hand comes up and grips my arm tightly. I gasp as pain slices through my body, his hold is bruising.

“Ella?” Damon questions, looking at me confused. Before I can remove his hand he pulls me down to him and buries his head in my neck. He holds me to him, crushing me, mumbling incoherent words to me.

“Damon, are you okay?” I ask softly. Our bodies tremble together from the force of his shaking. I lift my head to look at him and find his eyes are wet. He’s crying. What the fuck? I frown and search his face. What has him in such a state?

“Ella,” his voice breaks. He clears his throat before continuing, “Fuck, Ella.” His hands roam my body as if he’s checking to make sure I’m okay. Or real. I’m not sure which, but he looks fearful.

“Damon?”

“You’re here. Fuck, you’re really here.” He’s not making much sense.

“I’m here.” I console him, puzzled by his reaction. His rigid body begins to relax as he realises I really am in his arms.

“Fuck, beauty. My God.” I cup his face in my hands and watch as he comes down from his nightmare, his eyes never leaving my face. His hands skim  my body up and down my sides, just holding me tightly to him. “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me,” he pleads. His pain filled voice shocks me. His dream was about me leaving him?

“I’m not going anywhere, Damon.” I softly stroke his hair back from his face. My finger trails down to the teardrop scar, just below his right eye, and circles it. He shuts his eyes and breathes me in, inhaling deeply, almost as if he’s trying to breathe me into him.

“I love you, beauty. I fucking love you.” My heart twists at his words. He sounds so genuine. I want to believe him, I really do, but actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words.

He fucked me over. He betrayed me the first chance he got. I can’t just get over that. I search his eyes deeply, looking for the monster within. I can hate that Damon. This vulnerable one in front of me I don’t. I
can’t
hate him.

He kisses along my jaw and down my neck. My mind wants to recoil from his touch but my body betrays my mind. My core pulses and my nipples draw into tight peaks. A moan slips past my lips as he lightly sucks my neck.

Damon flips us over, switching our positions. His body looms over mine as I’m pinned to my back with his weight. “Don’t leave me, Ella.”

Damon’s gaze is so intense that it takes my breath away. I shut my eyes and try to turn away. The lump in my throat physically hurts as I try to swallow back my emotions, but Damon cups my face and brings it back to face him.

“Look at me, beauty.” I shake my head, squeezing my eyes as tightly as I can. “Please, baby. Look at me.” My eyes snap open and I gasp when I feel his lips skim mine in the softest of caresses. “There’s my beauty.” He smiles softly at me. His hand holds my head in place as he stares deeply into my eyes.

Tears fill my eyes. I close them again, not being able to look at the love in his eyes. Not able to believe it. I’m unlovable. It’s all just a game. I try to purge my spinning thoughts but a picture of Damon kissing Leona flits behind my closed eyelids.

Anger begins to simmer inside me as I recall what Damon did to me, to us. Damon’s lips nuzzle my neck, placing open-mouthed kisses where my shoulder meets my neck. My breath catches from his touch, fire blazing in my blood.

Damon is everything my body wants, craves. It’s not enough. I can’t let my body take control. I can’t let Damon win again. I won’t allow myself to be hurt by him again. My heart aches just thinking about being without Damon, but it also hurts to be with him.

I’m confused.

I’m hurting.

I need him.

These feelings sound familiar. Lydia felt like this. Damon made her like this. Damon made me like this. The need to protect myself and my jellybean is so much more than the hatred I feel. I’m not sure it even is hatred. I still want him. My body aches for his touch.

I want to bask in his love. I want to live my life with Damon, but I don’t know if I can.

My mind is screaming that he’s playing games and I need to get revenge. My heart is hurting and needs to protect us, needs to prevent more pain, and is screaming for me to run. To leave and not look back. My body craves his touch. Needs the connection we have when our bodies entwine.

I’m torn in three different directions.

It’s too much to deal with. I’m hurt, I’m confused, and my hormones are all over the place. “Damon.” My voice cracks as tears fall from my eyes, leaking down my temples and into my hair. “I can’t... I can’t do this.” I whisper. I avert my eyes, not able to look at the pain I see flash in his eyes.

“Ella.” That one word holds more pain than I thought possible. I look back at Damon and see his eyes glistening with tears. My heart skips a beat. My heart literally hurts to see Damon look so devastated, vulnerable, and open.

I sniffle before I hide my face in his neck. His hands hold my head to him, clinging to me like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he doesn’t keep his hold on me. The feelings this man evokes in me in me are hard to bear.

“I’m sorry, beauty. So fucking sorry.” He says brokenly. “Leona...” I tense as soon as her name slips past his lips. Damon sighs at my reaction. “Ella, she’s just a friend. Nothing more, I promise.”

He just doesn’t get it. I’m going to have to spell it out for him. “Damon, she’s your ex.” Damon cuts me off before I get to finish.

“Tom’s your ex.”

“Tom’s not in love with me.” I snap. My hormones are so erratic that I feel like I’m giving myself whiplash. Jealousy burns through me. I hate that he can make me jealous. I hate that I don’t know if it’s all a game. I wish I could read Damon better.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it was never like that for me and Tom. He’s just a friend and if you’ve forgotten, he’s the one who broke things off with me because of
you
.” This is getting us nowhere. He just doesn’t understand. “Damon, Tom doesn’t want me like that.”

“Do you want him?” he sounds so unsure that I can’t help but try to reassure him.

“No.” A smirk pills at his lips.

“As long as he knows he can’t have what’s mine.” My brow arches.

“Yours?” I feel myself recoil, repulsed by his words. I’m not his anymore. Not after what he did.

“Yes.” He grins. “You’ve agreed to marry me, you’re mine.” I roll my eyes for show but inside my stomach churns, my heart sinking. I know what he’s trying to do and it almost works. He almost distracted me enough to forget what we were talking about. Another one of his games.

“You have nothing to worry about when it comes to Tom, Damon.”

His lips descend to mine but I place my hand on his chest to push him back. I can’t let him distract me with sex again. We need to talk about this. His answers are going to be what help me decide my next steps.

“Damon, we need to talk. We can’t avoid the whole Leona thing.”

“There is nothing to say, beauty. She’s my past. You’re my future. You don’t need to worry about Leona. You’re all I want, Ella. Just you.” The sincerity ringing in his voice relaxes my tense body and I melt back into the mattress.

Damon’s lips caress mine, his tongue runs along the seam of my lips but when I open my mouth to give him access, he just teases me. The tip of his tongue dips in just enough to skim the edges of my lips. I try tempting him inside with my tongue but Damon just takes his time. He cups my neck, and his fingers tangle in my hair, as his thumb strokes the shell of my ear.

When his tongue finally enters my mouth my body is ready. I’m already hot, wanting, and wet. I spread my legs to cradle Damon’s hips between my parted thighs. He pushes my vest up, freeing my boobs to his roaming hand.

My back arches into his touch. I’m so fucking wanton but I need rough sex. I can’t deal with him being soft. I can’t fall for his games again. I need this to be just a hard fucking.

My hands grasp and pull at Damon, trying to make him speed up, needing to stop him from touching me like he cherishes me. I need real.

I thought we had real.

His hand comes up to stroke the underside of my breasts as mine come up to hold on to him. My fingers clench around his hair, fisting the strands. I shut my eyes and moan at the soft caresses he’s showering on my body. He teases my tits, lifting and squeezing them until my nipples pebble to bullets. His thumb rubs first one, then the other to tighter peaks.

A vision of Leona in Damon’s arms crashes behind my eyelids. I wail in pain and anger. I tug his hair hard, wanting to hurt him.

“Damon.” I whimper against his lips. I open my eyes and find his already locked on mine. He pulls his lips away enough to whisper to me.

“I’ve got you, beauty. Just feel.” I close my eyes again, shutting my mind off, just feeling his touch as his hand slides down past my waist and hips, to my thigh and back again, leaving goose bumps in its wake. He kisses along my jaw, down my neck, to my collarbone. He licks and nips his way to my breasts, drawing the whole nipple and areola into his mouth before switching to latch on to the other, paying them both the same attention.

Every nerve ending in my body feels like an electric current is zapping through me, causing my arousal to heighten. I roll my hips into his to get friction in the place I want it most. His burgeoning arousal presses into my pussy with the perfect amount of pressure.

My back bows from the bed, pressing me further into his mouth. I’m so wet, I can feel my juices leaking and dampening my knickers.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Ella.” Damon leans back on his heels, and his hands dance around the hem of my shorts all the way around to the back. Gripping them, he begins to tug them up my thighs as I lift my legs into the air to help him take them off. Holding my feet in place, legs stretched straight up into the air, Damon’s eyes follow the length of my legs until they settle on my closed pussy.

A groan pours from his lips as he sees how wet my thighs are. He brings a hand down and softly strokes along the seam of my pussy lips with a finger. When he lets go of my feet, my legs fall back to the bed. My feet are planted on the mattress and my knees spread wide.

Damon doesn’t take his eyes away from my core as he pushes his lounge pants down, freeing his massive erection. Swallowing, I take in the sight of a naked Damon. He’s truly gorgeous. Every hard muscle is defined, every dip and curve highlight how well he takes care of his magnificent body.

“Beauty, I can’t wait. I need in you. Now.” He moans as he wraps his hand around his cock, stroking himself.

“Yes.” I breathe. “Fuck me, Damon.”

“No, beauty. I want to make love to you. I need this slow, baby.”

Damon settles himself between my thighs again and rubs his cock through my juices, coating himself in my wetness. He positions himself at my entrance and pauses. I whimper, not liking his teasing any more. I just need him to fill me.

“Damon, please.”

“I’ve got you, beauty.”

He slowly pushes his way in. He fills, stretches, and pulsates inside me. The perfect fit. Cupping my face with both hands he just stares into my eyes as he slowly starts to retreat before he works himself back to the hilt.

“You’re so fucking tight, beauty. So fucking perfect.” The soft, slow rhythm he’s setting is new. We’ve never paired together this way. It’s always been fast, passionate and hard. This is slow, sensual and soft.