Warped (7 page)

No, that won’t work. It will have to be a hotel somewhere he can't find me. Somewhere I can think without him changing my mind. Pushing open the office toilet door, I find Damon outside leaning against the wall, waiting for me.

“Are you okay?” he asks when he takes in my bare face. I'm standing rooted to the spot, not sure what to do. I’m like a deer caught in the headlights. He steps towards me and I instinctively step forward as my body responds to his, wanting his touch. He reaches out his hand and takes mine, pulling my body flush against him.

“Beauty, what's wrong? You’ve not been the same since you got here. You’ve been quiet since your lunch with Tom. Did you argue?” I shake my head no. At the soft tone of his voice I feel tears prickling behind my eyes. My pulse is pounding at his gentle touch. My heart is racing with the whirlwind of emotions I’m feeling. They’ve hit me like a tsunami with his single touch.

I can’t have this. I need to get my head sorted.

Pressing my palms to his chest I give a little shove. I need to get away, I need space. Everything that is Damon is drowning me. My lungs feel like they can't get enough air. Turning on my heel, I start to walk away from him, and he calls out my name but I can't look back. I head to the door but before I can leave I feel his hand on my arm, spinning me in his direction.

“Beauty....” I look up and his eyes are filled with concern and worry. His hand comes up to my face to wipe away a tear that has fallen. I feel like my heart is breaking. I just need to see the monster in him. I need to know I’m right. Simon won’t leave my mind. I need to get away.

“Please Damon, I can't do this here, please let me go.” My final words come out as a sob, and I feel Damon pull me to him. I don’t move, staying wrapped in his embrace. I know I need to keep him at a distance so I can try and think again, but I just want to draw from his strength.

“What the fuck has happened baby?” He says against my head. “Tell me so I can fix it beauty.”  The hate I’m feeling for myself, the disgust, comes out as rage. I have been holding it inside and it needs out. I lash out at him. I push out of his arms and get in his face. I can make him show the demon inside.

“I can't be fucking fixed Damon. I don’t need you.” I spit. I’m seething, full of rage as I take a step towards him. “YOU, did this... YOU and that fucking whore. You let her kiss you,” I scream. I watch him recoil like I have slapped him but I can't stop. “What am I supposed to do Damon? Forget it happened?” I spit. I move so I'm standing directly in front of him, “I can't Damon. When I look at you, I see her. I see her all over you.” His head drops down and his chin rests on his chest.

The kiss isn’t a problem. I’m pissed at myself, Damon, and Simon. I need someone to take my rage out on and Damon is an easy target. I spit words so I can hurt him like I’m hurting.

He doesn’t move. He doesn’t try to touch me. I grip his chin and lift so his eyes meet mine, “What would have happened if I had got back ten minutes later Damon? What would I have found then? Leona sitting on your cock while you fuck her?”

Damon shakes his head his eyes pleading, “No beauty, you wouldn't have. I couldn't do that to you, to us. I love you Ella. Don't you get that? Don't you see what you mean to me?” I shake my head.

“No Damon, I don't. I don't see an us anymore. All I see is her, and I don't trust that you love me enough to let her go.” With that I turn and walk away from him. I need to be alone. I walk out of the club and head to my car.

****

I make it back to Damon’s in record time. I’m shaken up from the earlier encounter with Simon, and my emotions regarding Damon and who he really is. It was a close call with Simon. I could smell the stench of alcohol on his breath, could smell it seeping out his pores.

I head straight to the shower, needing to get his touch off me. I feel dirty and ashamed. I wish I could wash away my shame but I know I can’t. I’m going to have to live with my choices for the rest of my life.

I spend a long time in the shower, scrubbing at my skin until it’s raw. Tears fall unbidden from my eyes, as memories of my time with my ‘practise exes’ flood my mind. I’ve done some disgusting things in the last few years. Things I can never take back. Things I can never change.

I’ve done the same to Damon. Does he really deserve it? 

I stumble out of the shower and wrap myself in a fluffy white towel. I walk into the bedroom, and drop down onto the bed. I know I’m making the bed covers wet but I don’t care. I just need a minute to gather myself.

I shouldn’t be feeling this badly for Simon, for any of them. I need to remember why I picked them to play in the first place. I grab my handbag and pull out Lydia’s diary. I flip it open to the time when Simon hurt Lydia.

April 19th 2011

I went on a date tonight. Leona set me up with a friend of hers. Simon. He seemed nice at first but it was soon obvious that he had no interest in me. I only went because she told me Damon would be there. She said he wanted to see me.

He didn’t.

He made that obvious when he saw me. His words burned me but I know he still loves me. I can see it shining in his beautiful brown eyes.

It didn’t take long for Simon to ditch me. Leona told me I should make Damon see what he’s missing and I should find Simon to make Damon jealous. I did. He was fucking a waitress in the cleaning closet.

He had the nerve to call me crazy! Are you fucking kidding me? He thinks I’d be okay with him shacking up with another woman when he was there with me?

HELL FUCKING NO!

I showed him he can’t fuck with me. A kick to the balls did just the trick. Did he seriously think he could use me? Think maybe he’d get a fuck out of me after he fucked her?

Good thing my Damon isn’t like Simon.

Our feelings for each other are real. Anyone who says otherwise will have to face me from now on. I won’t take people talking shit about us. Simon thought he could show me up in front of everyone at the event. He soon realised he’s playing games with the wrong person.

Damon is MINE.

I put the diary back into my bag and close my eyes, feeling better. Simon deserved what I did to him. He took Lydia on a date, at the request of Leona, and then fucked someone else. I wasn't going to let him get away with that. He needed to pay and he did. He still is.

I always thought it was Damon that played my sister but I’m beginning to notice another person that wasn’t on my radar as much because I was so focused on Damon. Leona fucking Goodridge.

She hurt Lydia a few times and has hurt me. She’s going to pay for her behaviour. Even if I spend the rest of my life with Damon, she is going to pay. Maybe spending the rest of my life with Damon would do the trick because it’s obvious she has strong feelings for him, and feels like she has a claim on him. I need to tear apart their connection, their friendship.

I need to take her down.

And give Damon a chance.

Pulling my phone out my bag, I send Damon a quick text message.

I’m sorry for earlier. Forgive me? Xx

He didn’t deserve my behaviour at The Ice lounge. Damon has been nothing but amazing to me. He replies instantly.

Nothing to forgive, I deserved it. I love you beauty, and I’ll see you tonight at Hunters xx

I put my phone away, not able to stop the smile gracing my lips. It’s time to live my life.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

As I’m walking to the entrance to The Hunter and just about to walk through the door I hear my name being called. I turn in that direction and see Tom walking towards me.  He pulls me into a brotherly hug, encasing me within his body heat. I love the warmth that he exudes because it makes me feel safe. After all the shitty things that have happened to me, he is my constant strength. I link my arm through his and we walk in the entrance.

We walk through to the VIP area, and I give my name to the bouncer. We’re instantly allowed through. I spot Lacy, Sharn, and Michelle although I can’t see Leona. But if her cronies are here she must be as well. I turn around, hoping to see Damon, but instead I spot Spencer, Wes and Sofia sitting at a large round table. I nudge Tom in their direction, indicating where to head.

When we reach the table Spence stands to give me a kiss on the cheek before greeting Tom. They shake hands, then Spencer motions for a waiter to come over.

“What would you like to drink Ella?” I look up at Spencer, wondering how to play this. Obviously I can’t drink now I’m pregnant, but I can’t let anyone know.

“Can I get a coke please?” The look of shock that spreads across his face makes me laugh. “What? I just don’t feel like drinking, plus I drove here.”

Spencer orders my coke and Tom a JD and coke, before pulling me down to sit next to him. The conversation is flowing freely between us all and I’m so glad that Tom is fitting in. Glancing at my watch, I wonder where Damon is. It’s seven-thirty and he still hasn’t made an appearance. 

I glance around and catch sight of Lacy, Sharn and Michelle again. Lacy seems to be looking around, but Sharn and Michelle are smirking smugly at me. I frown, wondering why they look so happy. I quickly look around realising it has to have something to do with Leona and no doubt, Damon too.

Sofia is talking to me but I didn’t catch what she said because I was glancing beyond her in search of Damon. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch what you said,” I apologise. She ushers Wesley out so she can stand, and comes and sits next to me, blocking my exit.

“I asked how things were going. Are you still living with Damon?”

I realise that none of them know about our engagement yet. I’m glad that Spencer hasn’t blurted everything out.

“It's going great, I love being there.” She smiles at my obvious happiness.

“You look happy Ella. You’re almost glowing.” I don’t try to hide the blush that colours my cheeks as I beam at her words.

“I am happy. Things are good,” I say, smiling. I look at my watch and begin to get angry. Where the heck is Damon? If he’s stood me up I’ll be pissed at him. If Tom can make the effort, then Damon could at least do the same.

My bladder suddenly feels like it’s ready to explode. I excuse myself and hastily walk-run to the toilets. This is one of the downsides of being pregnant.

I slam into the bathroom, not paying attention to the ladies at the sinks, and crash into a cubicle. A sigh of delight escapes when the pressure on my bladder is released. I finish peeing and exit the stall to find Leona, Lacy, Sharn, and Michelle. Leona sneers at me, causing me to roll my eyes. What is her goddamn problem?

I ignore them and quickly wash my hands. Leona shoulder slams me as the three of them start to leave. Ready to snap, I grit my teeth. I’ve had enough of this bitch. I spin on my heel, furious with her.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Leona ignores me and continues to leave with her friends, but I won’t let it go that easy. I know her type, they think they can walk all over people and no one will stand up to her. She’s got another think coming if she thinks I’ll let it pass.

“Leona, I asked you a question. What the fuck is your problem?”

She turns towards me, her face surprising me. I expect anger but instead she has a sickly sweet smile on her face as she stalks towards me.

“Problem? There's no problem Ella.  For there to be a problem you would have to mean something, but you're nothing. You’re insignificant like all the other little bitches Damon picks up.  Do you really believe you're that special Ella? Do you think the words he mutters to you he hasn’t muttered to someone else before you? What makes you think you're any different than all the others before?” She lets out a condescending laugh, “What about Abigail? Oh, you met her didn’t you?” She acts surprised before sneering again, “At your romantic little meal. Ring any bells?” She doesn’t give me a chance to answer. “You will be gone before you know it.”

She turns to leave again, thinking she’s put an end to me. I don’t fucking think so. What she said cut deep but I won’t let her see that. I won’t her know how much her words can hurt me. She’ll get a kick if she knows she’s keyed into one of my biggest fears.

Am I just one in a long list of many that Damon plays with? Or is what we have real?

I am fucking furious. Who does this bitch think she is? My inner bitch is coming out to join the party.

“You're so fucking jealous, aren't you Leona? You would give anything to be with him, but he doesn't want you. Every time you throw yourself at him, he'll turn you down, because you’re the one who’s nothing to him. He feels sorry for you, that’s all. It’s nothing more.”

A livid Leona steps toward me but Lacy holds her back. If I wasn’t pregnant I would slap her right across that scheming face of hers, but I have something better up my sleeve to hit her with.

“Don’t you think we know Damon a little more that you?” Michelle pipes up, looking smug. “We’ve known him a lot longer. You’re nothing but a new toy to Damon and he gets bored with his toys very quickly,” she finishes on a smirk, making me want to claw her fucking eyes out.

I laugh at her. “Is that so? Well I happen to know different.” I start to walk past them to exit the toilets but Sharn steps in my way and speaks for the first time.

“We’ve not finished with you yet. You need to back away from Damon before he breaks your heart. I can see he already owns it. You wouldn’t take up for him like this if you didn’t love him. We’ve been around longer, will continue to be around long after you’ve been kicked to the curb.” She pushes her face close to mine, invading my personal space, no doubt to intimidate me. “Damon is Leona’s. He will always be Leona’s.”

I raise a brow at her arrogant comment. “Funny that,” I look at Leona, “he told me you’re nothing more than a tag along. An acquaintance that never leaves. He only deals with you because of your parents being good friends with his.” I smirk when I see shock hit her eyes. “Yeah, that’s right. You’re nothing more than a family friend.” I look back at Sharn, who is still invading my personal space. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have better places to be.”

“You little bitch, who do you think you are, talking to me like that? I can have him anytime I want. I just have to give him the space he needs to finish playing with you. But don’t get too comfortable, because every time I snap my fingers Damon will come running. He will always choose me,” Leona says, finally getting over my shocking comment. Maybe I over exaggerated but these bitches don’t know that. She steps towards me again and raises her hand, about to hit me when Lacy steps in. Let her fucking hit me.

“That’s enough Leona. You’re taking things too far. Leave her alone.” Leona is fuming that Lacy has defended me, but I’m actually quite touched that she stood up for me. Maybe I misjudged her. Leona is about to walk away when I pull out my trump card.

“Oh Leona,” she turns on her heel glaring at me, “I’ll send your wedding invite to your parents. I can't wait for the day
you
get to watch
me
marry the man that you love.”

The smile on Leona's face disappears the moment the words leave my lips. For a moment I see her resolve crumble. Now I know I have her figured out. She is in love with Damon.  

Not giving them a chance to respond, I walk through their little group and out the door. Dancing out my anger on the dance floor is my option of choice. Leona’s words always hit deep but she’s beginning to get under my skin too much.

I’m pissed at Damon for even knowing her. Irrational I know, but I can’t fucking help it.

Simon fucked with my head today, made me rethink everything. Made me question myself. I don’t like the feelings of self disgust he’s brought out in me. That’s what I’m feeling about myself. I’m a fucking monster.

The music pulses through me and my feet vibrate from the music’s bass flowing in the floor beneath me. I sway and move to the rhythm, shutting my eyes to block everything out.

I lose myself in my dancing until hands slip around my waist. I jump from the sudden contact, and freeze. I feel a body grind on my behind and warm breath on my neck. The stench of alcohol nearly makes me sick and a shiver runs through my body.

“Why you stopped dancin’? Come on sexy, dance,” a slurred voice rasps in my ear. I can feel his arousal and it makes me cringe.

He grips my hips tightly and thrusts into me as I struggle to free myself from his grip, and panic starts to set in when he doesn’t let me go. My heart beats wildly and adrenalin pumps through my body. I struggle against him more but it’s no use. He may be drunk but he still overpowers me, making fear overtake me.

Suddenly he’s gone and shouts and screams ring out around me. Turning, I notice a blur of struggling limbs on the floor before my brain registers what I’m seeing.

Damon is straddling the drunken fucker who manhandled me, punching him repeatedly in the face. Blood spurts all over the drunk’s face and hands as he tries to protect himself from each blow Damon is raining down on him.

I try to step forward to pull Damon off of him but get pulled back. I struggle and fight to get to free but I’m held steady.

“Let me go,” I scream.

“Calm down, Ella. That piece of shit deserves what he’s getting.” Hearing Tom’s voice calms me slightly, then my gaze drifts to Damon again. Spencer appears from nowhere and pulls his raging brother away from his target.

Damon shakes him off before growling a few choice words at Spence. Spencer nods and starts pulling the drunk to his feet just as the bouncers step up to remove the bleeding drunk. He’s a mess and not entirely stable on his feet. Tears clog my eyes and throat when I look at Damon.

Stomping over, Damon takes me from Tom’s arms, holding me tightly to him. His whole body shakes with anger and his breath comes out in sharp pants, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

I’m standing in a state of shock, trying to understand how everything went the way it did, my mind running a mile a minute. Damon scoops me up into his arms and storms through the club to the back offices.

Hanging limply in his arms, I sway with each step he takes. I feel sick. Shivers wrack my body as the adrenalin slowly drains away.

Damon’s office door slams shut behind us and he doesn’t stop until he sets me down into the chair at his desk. He pulls back and paces the room, agitation evident in his rigid body. I stay silent, not knowing what to say. He disappears into the bathroom, before re-entering his office wiping his hands with a cloth.

“Are you okay?” he asks. I can tell he’s trying to calm the anger in his tone. I swallow before replying.

“Yes. A little shaken up but I’m okay.”

“What the fuck was that Ella? Why would you just go out onto the dance floor alone without telling anyone?”

Anger rises in me. I’m not a fucking child. I can do what I want without
telling anyone
where I’m going.

“I’m not a fucking child Damon,” I spit. “I can take care of myself.” As soon as the words leave my mouth I want to take them back, they’re not true.

“It looked like it,” he snaps. I know it’s his anger and nerves making him snap so I stay quiet while he silently fumes.

I can’t take care of myself. Damon had to come to my rescue. My anger starts to dissipate as I realise his words, however much I dislike them, are right.

He turns and looks at me before striding over to me, his eyes are frantic. He pulls me up into his arms and wraps himself around me, hugging the breath out of me.

His relief is evident as his tense frame relaxes and he pulls back a little to look at me. Kissing my hair and cheeks, he then looks me in the eyes.

“Beauty?” he asks softly. Damon’s eyes darken and his jaw clenches. “Did he hurt you?” I shake my head.

“No, just scared me a little,” I say quietly.

He pulls me to him again, bringing my body flush against his. I bury my face in his chest as he wraps his arms tighter around me. Leona’s words always get to me, always make me doubt Damon, but in his arms is the only place I feel whole.

Loved.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I nod my head into his chest before looking up at him.

“Everything is perfect now that you’re here.” I give him a small smile. He leans down and kisses me softly. It’s a slow, lazy kiss, full of passion. A slow mating of our tongues.

“I love you, beauty,” he mumbles against my lips. I melt into him, enjoying his kisses. He pulls back to gaze into my eyes, and gently places a kiss on the tip of my nose, and then my forehead, before gently pulling away. “You’re mine, Ella. I’m keeping you.” I want to let him. I’m going to let him. 

“We need to get back out there before the troops come storming in.” I laugh at Damon’s words and grasp his hand in mine, letting him know I’m ready to go back out there.