What to Expect the Toddler Years (282 page)
Read What to Expect the Toddler Years Online
Authors: Heidi Murkoff
SHARING A BABY-SITTER
For many parents, shouldering the cost of an in-home babysitter on their own is financially prohibitive. Yet sharing the cost with another family can make it surprisingly affordable. Before hooking up with another family, however, consider:
Who will hire the sitter? Will one family be in charge of the interviewing process, or will both families share in the decision making?
How well matched are the families’ child-care philosophies? You can’t expect one sitter to care for each family’s child (or children) in a completely different way. Do you have similar ideas about nutrition, discipline, and other significant issues? Or do you feel comfortable compromising?
How well matched are the children? They don’t have to be the same age or even have the same temperament, but it’s best not to team two children who can’t get along.
Where will the sitter sit? Will she switch off between homes? How often? (Consistency is important for toddlers; switching every three months or so might be better than switching daily or weekly, though any schedule that’s predictable can work well.)
Who will provide the supplies? Will the visiting family need to bring their own diapers, snacks, and meals, or will the host family always provide these? Will a double stroller be necessary? Do both families chip in to buy it, or will it belong to just one family?
Who will take over when the sitter calls in sick? Will the arrangement be flexible (whoever can spare the day at work more easily stays home) or formal (whoever’s house it is will stay home, or parents will alternate the responsibility monthly)?
Will the sitter be able to handle the load? This can be a stretch if there are more than two children, but a well-trained caregiver should be able to handle the job. Arranging play groups and other scheduled activities at least a few times a week may help reduce the stress.
Will the sitter have other responsibilities? It’s probably best not to add numerous household chores to the shared sitter’s duties, or she may find herself spread too thinly.
How will the financial end be handled? Who will pay the sitter? Who will file the tax forms? How about insurance? Make sure that both households are covered in case your sitter is injured on the job.
PRESCHOOL: WHO NEEDS IT?
Actually, no child who’s nurtured adequately at home
needs
preschool. While children who attend these programs may have a slight initial edge when it comes time for kindergarten, that edge eventually disappears. Still, a well-balanced, stimulating, but pressure-free early childhood program can be enriching and exciting for most two- to five-year-olds—and liberating for their parents, whether they work out of the home or not.
In a quality preschool setting, young children are offered a wide range of experiences that can be beneficial even for those who are thriving at home with a parent or conscientious babysitter. They are schooled in such essential skills as how to cooperate, take turns, help with chores, follow rules, make decisions, and get along in a group. Though academics shouldn’t be emphasized, a good program will also challenge a child intellectually and creatively while teaching the ABC’s of socializing.
What it’s like.
A caregiver cares for a small number of children (often including her own) in her home.
Advantages
. For your child, depending on the setting, a cozy, home-like atmosphere; less exposure to infection than in a large day-care center because of the smaller number of children (as long as good hygiene is observed and there is a policy prohibiting attendance by sick children); possibly, more individualized care (though this varies with the skill and dedication of the caregiver); the opportunity to be with other children, usually of varying ages. For you, relatively low cost; possibly, more flexibility as to hours (since the caregiver is at home, she may be more amenable to keeping your child after hours or to early drop-offs).
Disadvantages
. For your child, possibly, inadequate safety and health policies, especially common when a facility is unlicensed (see page 815); more infections than in-home care; poorer quality care (though some are excellent, many family caregivers are untrained); a chaotic play situation (such groups have a high turnover rate, with children coming and going throughout the year). For you, lack of back-up (for example, if the caregiver or one of her own children is ill, she may have to close down until they recover, leaving parents without child care).
What it’s like
. One or more groups of infants or very young children spend full days (occasionally, part-days) in a relatively formal care program, in the charge of one or more teachers and aides. Hours are usually arranged to fit parental working hours.
Advantages
. These vary with the quality of the facility, but can include for your child: a better chance of quality care from trained and experienced caregivers than may be found in the average family day care (this is not a given); a program geared to his or her age and development; opportunities for play with a number of other children of the same age; a wide variety of toys and equipment; usually, some state or local regulation, under which health, safety, and other aspects
of the program may be monitored. For you, reliability (if a teacher is sick, a replacement is provided—it doesn’t become your headache).