What to Expect the Toddler Years (41 page)

Build learning into everyday activities. With very little effort, you can out-teach the teachers on
Sesame Street
. You can introduce numbers (“Do you want one cracker or two crackers? This is one, this is two”); colors (“Do you want to wear the blue sweater or the red one? This one is blue, this one is red”); letters (“Look at the E on your block. E is for Emily and also for elephant”). The point of these exercises isn’t to teach your toddler to count by eighteen months or read by age two, but to spark an interest in these subjects and to create an environment that fosters learning. Also, tap into your toddler’s senses as teaching tools; see page 78.

Foster learning by nurturing self-esteem. A child needs to feel good about him- or herself to be able to learn. (See page 292.)

Make learning fun. If children feel coerced or pressured into learning, are punished or belittled for failures (“I can’t believe you still can’t tell an ‘A’ from a ‘B’”), or are confronted with formal learning situations prematurely, they’ll come to dread learning, not to love it.

Set a curious example. Show your toddler that you’re never too old to explore and discover, that learning is a lifelong pursuit. Your own excitement about learning—at your own level as well as at your child’s—will be contagious.

Reading
is
fundamental. But what a lot of today’s television-age children never learn is that it’s also
fun.
It’s one thing to teach a child to read—with a few primers and a stack of flash cards, just about anybody can do it. But it’s quite another thing to teach a child to love reading. And while most experts agree that teaching a child to read—to recognize letters and sound out words and string words into sentences—is a process best left until the child’s ready, teaching a child to love reading is a process that can start long before he or she knows an “A” from a “Z.” Here are some ways to nurture such a love:

Be selective.
Choose books with large, clear, bright, realistic, but cheerful illustrations (some very beautifully illustrated books are just too abstract, cluttered, dark, or sophisticated for a toddler to appreciate) and short, simple text. Though most toddlers prefer rhyming books (even if the words don’t mean much, the rhythm is appealing), now is a good time to start introducing some very simple stories in prose. Heavy board books, preferably with sturdy spiral bindings, are ideal for your toddler to “read” alone; keep the more delicate paper books for supervised reading sessions. Skip cloth books, which don’t seem to
bear enough resemblance to the real thing to satisfy most toddlers. Vinyl books are fine for the bathtub (often a good time to get a little reading in), but be sure to dry them thoroughly after each dunking to prevent mildew from taking hold.

Be persistent.
Many toddlers do little but squirm the first few times they’re read to, but persistence usually pays off. Establish a regular story time at least once a day (after the bath and before bed is best); if you have time in the morning, a cuddly reading session in your bed can be nice, too. Even if it lasts just a few pages, and even if your toddler seems more interested in puttering with a new toy or climbing on and off the bed, story time will ultimately become a cherished ritual—one that you’ll both continue to treasure long after your child becomes capable of reading to him or herself. Never force your toddler to pay attention to a story while you’re reading it. This will make listening seem more like a chore, less like a pleasure.

Be creative.
You know what interests your toddler better than a book’s author does. So don’t feel obliged to read the words precisely as written; taking literary license can greatly enhance your toddler’s listening pleasure. Abridge long passages, swap simpler words for those your toddler doesn’t understand, drop in commentary and explanations as needed. If the text of a story seems to be leaving your toddler cold, concentrate on the illustrations (“Look at that big dog and that little dog” or “I wonder what’s in the little girl’s basket”).

Be interactive.
Long before your child can read, he or she can participate in the reading process. First by pointing to various characters (“Where’s the kitty cat?”) and objects in the illustrations (“Where’s the cat’s hat?”), later by filling in the blanks in sentences or rhymes in books you’ve read over and over. When you read a story for the first time, look for characters, objects, colors, and ideas your toddler isn’t familiar with, and take the opportunity to introduce them; next time you read the book, encourage (but don’t pressure) your child to point them out (“Where’s the elephant?”) or answer questions about them (“What does the cow say?”). An older and more verbal toddler may even be able to answer such questions as, “What do you think is going to happen next?” or “Why do you think that boy is so sad?” Prompt participation, too, by reading books that are interactive: touch-and-feel books, books with surprises hiding under little flaps, books that have dials to turn, and so on. (Since these kinds of books are usually very fragile, bring them out only when your toddler will be supervised.)

Be expressive.
No one likes to listen to a monotone. But to a toddler who’s just picking up the nuances of language, an expressive reading style makes listening not only more enjoyable, but also more comprehensible. So ham it up.

Be repetitious.
Toddlers love to hear the same story over and over and over again; and though the repetition may drive you to distraction, it’s incredibly satisfying to young ears. Especially if the text is in rhyme, you may be surprised to find after a while that your toddler has memorized some of it.

Be brief.
Short books and short reading sessions sit best with a toddler who can’t sit still. Go from page to page and idea to idea quickly—to keep restlessness from setting in, and your audience from wandering off. And be ready to end story time after just a few minutes, if need be.

Be cuddly.
Children who come to associate reading with the cozy comfort of being curled up on Mommy’s or Daddy’s lap, almost always enjoy reading books later on.

Be a good example.
Children of readers are much more likely to end up readers themselves. Try to set time aside each day for your reading—even if you manage just a page or two at a sitting. If you can’t fit this into your schedule, or if you just don’t like to read, make sure your toddler sees you reading at least occasionally. Make reading material a fixture in your home; keep a book by your bedside (“This is Mommy’s [or Daddy’s] book”), magazines on the coffee table, newspapers next to your armchair. And minimize the amount of television that’s watched by your toddler and by you. Studies have shown that families who watch less, read more.

By the end of this month,
*
your toddler
. . . should be able to (see Note):

use 2 words (by 16½ months)

drink from a cup

Note:
If your toddler has not yet reached these milestones, consult the doctor or a nurse-practitioner. This rate of development may well be normal for your child (some children are late bloomers), but it needs to be evaluated. Also check with the doctor if your toddler seems out-of-control, uncommunicative, overly passive, highly negative, doesn’t smile, makes few or no sounds, doesn’t seem to hear well, is perpetually irritable, or demands constant attention. (But remember, the one-year-old who was born prematurely often lags behind others of the same chronological age. This developmental gap progressively
narrows and generally disappears entirely around age two.)