What to Expect the Toddler Years (42 page)

Most toddlers latch onto at least one comfort habit or object—and some latch on to several.

. . . will probably be able to:

build a tower of 2 cubes

. . . may possibly be able to:

walk up steps (by 16½ months)

remove an article of clothing

“feed” a doll

. . . may even be able to:

build a tower of 4 cubes (by 16½ months)

identify 2 items in picture by pointing

combine words

throw a ball overhand

speak and be understood half the time

“Now that my daughter has some teeth, I expected she’d be able to chew up what she ate. But I’m still finding whole pieces of food in her stool.”

You’ll continue making dramatic discoveries in your child’s diapers, and later, in her potty, for some time to come. Those first few teeth are pretty useless when it comes to chewing—biting (and looking cute) is more their business. Until a set of molars comes in, a toddler chews with her gums, which means that food doesn’t get much of a grinding before it’s swallowed. And since a toddler’s digestive system is relatively immature, what’s swallowed passes fairly rapidly through the digestive tract. So it’s not surprising that some mouthfuls exit looking more or less the same as when they entered. Among other tidbits you may spy in your child’s stool: whole green peas or blueberries, small chunks of cooked carrot, deep-red slivers of tomato skin, and golden kernels of corn.

As your child becomes more proficient at chewing and as gastrointestinal transit time slows down, her meals will be more thoroughly digested and her bowel movements less telling. In the meantime, be sure that the food you serve is soft enough to be gummed easily (test a new food by trying to mash it in your mouth without using your teeth) and that it’s been cut in very small pieces (the smaller the food particles start out, the smaller they end up). If your child, like many toddlers, doesn’t seem to bother much with gumming, preferring the shovel-and-gulp method of eating, try encouraging her to stop and chew before she swallows. Take a bite when she does, and show her how it’s done (“See, I’m mushing up the food in my mouth. Can you do that?”). For an older child who’s starting to learn numbers, try, “Can you chew that carrot four times?”

But keep in mind that even when your toddler has a full set of teeth, some undigested matter may show up in the stool. That’s because chewing mashes food only partly; digestion finishes the job. And your toddler’s digestive tract will not be mature enough to do that job thoroughly for another year or two.

“Our son’s discovered how to open the refrigerator—and he does it about 300 times a day.”

It’s an open-and-shut case in many toddler households: The toddler opens it, the parent shuts it. Over and over again. It may be the refrigerator, a kitchen cabinet, the bathroom vanity—anything that has a door handle low enough for the toddler to reach. When what’s behind these doors poses a danger (the refrigerator, for example, usually contains breakable glass jars and bottles; foods that a toddler could choke on; items that could be toxic to a child or that might trigger an allergic response) or if a child could accidentally get locked behind the door (most refrigerators today can be opened from the inside, but this risk still exists with very old models), it’s necessary to install a childproof lock or latch (see page 641) that will assure that the appliance or cabinet cannot be opened by little hands. At least, that is, not in the time it takes you to answer the phone or take a pizza out of the oven.

Your toddler is bound to feel frustrated by his sudden inability to open the refrigerator, so be ready to distract him with something equally attractive but more acceptable, such as a “safe” cabinet filled with plastic containers, wooden spoons, nesting metal measuring cups, and the like. If it’s food he’s looking for, give him a snack.

“My son has a habit of throwing everything he picks up. I’m afraid he’s going to hurt somebody or break something.”

The acquisition of a new skill is exhilarating for a toddler, but often exasperating for his parents. Though visions of his hurling a no-hitter at Little League may dance through your head the first few times your child hurls a toy across the room, it doesn’t take long before those visions are replaced by nightmarish premonitions of lamps shattering and playmates’ eyes being blackened.

Banning throwing entirely will only make the activity more tantalizing; worse still, it will deprive your toddler of the opportunity to practice a developmentally appropriate skill. Your job, tricky as it may sound, is to encourage that skill without putting home and hearth in jeopardy. Here’s how:

Start spring training . . . no matter what the season.
Given plenty of opportunities to throw a ball in safe and supervised surroundings, a toddler’s itch to pitch may well be satisfied—at least somewhat. Don’t expect much in the way of catching yet; a toddler’s eye-hand coordination isn’t ready for the big leagues. But your child will probably get a kick out of retrieving a ball that’s been tossed to him.