What You Wish For (25 page)

“
I don't know.”

“
Yes you do, but you're scared. Don't let that fear keep you from the life we could have, Carrie. Fight back, fight for me, fight for us. I know you are capable of it.”

His eyes were so warm and filled with such love and tenderness that she found herself wanting to trust him, only the words wouldn't come. Instead she suddenly reached out and grasped him, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head against his chest. John wrapped his arms around her also.

“
Be careful, Carrie, for if you do not speak I shall claim you as my own. If I must go, send me away now and do not continue my torment.”

“
Stay,” she managed to say.

John's heart soared and for the first time in a long while, his smile was genuine. Slowly he pulled away slightly and, placing one finger under her chin, gently tilted her head up. She didn't resist and slowly he bent his head and kissed her softly. To his immense relief, she responded. When he pulled away she was also smiling.

“
I'm sorry,” she said.

“
As am I,” he agreed. “But let us not waste time dwelling on our wrongs, they are in the past. Come for a walk with me and tell me more of where you are from.”

“
Are you sure you want to hear it?”

“
That place created you. Beautiful, wonderful, obstinate, strong and courageous you. I want to know everything about such a place, no matter how alien.”

He slipped his hand into hers and silently they headed out for a walk. Strangely they did not speak for a long while, only sneaking glances at each other and smiling when each caught the other staring. They headed to the hill and stopped when near the top, to look down over Milton. Carrie wrapped one arm around his waist and leaned into him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

She looked down on the town below her and silently thanked her Aunt Immy for this gift.

“
Do you think I'm crazy?” she asked him.

“
Absolutely certifiable,” he said, though his voice was warm with mirth.

“
What does that make you then?” she asked.

“
A raving lunatic?” he suggested.

“
Then at least we're in good company.” She tightened her hold on him.

Yes, she thought to herself, she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

“
Though if you really want to talk about crazy, you should have met my Aunt Imelda.”

By unspoken agreement they sat down on the hillside and John listened with a mixture of amusement and awe, as Carrie told him all about her favourite aunt; how she was the black sheep of the family, how oddly she dressed, how wildly she behaved and finally, how she had granted Carrie her heart's desire, namely the chance to be with Mr John Thornton.

When she was done she looked up at the sky.

“
So what do you think, Aunt Imm?” she asked aloud. “Did I do good?”

Only slightly perturbed by Carrie talking to a dead woman, he drew her close to him and kissed her cheek.

Carrie heart skipped a beat as she thought she heard her aunt's hearty laugh, though it was soft, as though carried on a breeze. Maybe it was real or maybe she had imagined it, but either way, she took it as a good sign.

Epilogue: Ten Years Later

Carrie was on tenterhooks as she waited, pacing the floor of their home. Those around her were already in the party mood and drinking quite happily, regardless of the outcome. They showed none of her worry. She couldn't drink yet though, for she was so nervous that she wasn't sure she could keep it down.

Finally Margaret approached her and Carrie smiled, for Margaret was an old hand at these.

“
Relax,” Margaret smiled sweetly. “I am sure he was successful.”

“
That's easy for you to say, you've done this before. How do you stand it?" Carrie asked. “What if he doesn't get in? He will be crushed.”

“
He will survive,” Margaret assured her friend. “If there is one thing that I have learned about Milton men, and women for that matter, it is that they are survivors. John will simply pick himself up, dust himself off and continue on as normal. In another five years he will try again, having learned from any mistakes made this time.”

“
You are right, of course,” Carrie gave a deep sigh.

“
But this is beside the point, John is a, what it is you say, a shoo-in?”

“
Yes.” Carrie smiled, she loved hearing her modern slang on Margaret's lips. “So, how is Bernard doing?”

“
He is well, I am sure. And this is his fourth election, so he is an old hand at it now.”

“
I wish they would let us go with them.”

“
I am sure that they want time to compose themselves should they lose, not to mention time to celebrate with cigars and brandy if they should win.”

“
I wouldn't mind cigars and brandy,” Carrie said with a wry smile.

“
Carrie, you have always worked, even when you were with with child, you have virtually taken over this mill during the campaign and I don't see you giving way to a manager once John is elected. You must allow them to keep some traditional male practices to themselves.”

Carrie smiled, conceding the point.

“
You know, I could give in much more gracefully were I certain of the result,” she teased.

“
Mama?”

Carrie turned to see her daughter coming into the room. She looked beautiful, dressed up as the adults were, ready to celebrate with her parents should fortune favour her father.

Carrie could see a few of the guests casting their wary eyes at her children all evening, for having children at an adult gathering was very unseemly.

“
Laura, darling,” she bent to kiss her daughter's cheek and wrapped her arms around the girl, taking comfort in the quick hug. “Where is your brother?”

“
He's in the kitchen,” she answered. “Cook is making us some warm milk.”

“
Are you getting tired?” Carrie asked, for though the children had pleaded to be allowed to wait up for their father and had risen late this morning, they were only seven and nine and the time was nearing midnight.

Laura nodded.

“
Well why don't you have your milk,” Carrie suggested, “get changed-”

“
But I want to see daddy!” she protested.

“
If you let me finish!” Carrie chided gently. “Get changed then go and sleep in our bed. That way we'll have to wake you and let you know the result when we come to bed.”

Laura thought about that for a moment then nodded. Facially she was the spitting image of her mother, only with her fathers colouring; dark, almost black hair and piercing blue eyes. She would break many a heart as she grew older. Her younger brother, Daniel, could almost be John's twin rather than his son, and had very little of his mother in his features. He did however have a lot of her in his personality. He was a shy and somewhat timid boy, but he had a huge heart and showed much courage when overcoming his fears.

It helped that his elder sister was always around and very protective of her little brother. Carrie thought that he would be destined for a scholarly life rather than one working in the mills, though she knew that was hypocritical of her.

Carrie was not destined for a life working in a mill; she found the noise, the workers and the activity intimidating but her desire to be independent, to work and contribute to their family and their business, had helped her to overcome those fears. It was quite possible that Daniel would also find that strength.

Laura on the other hand was a born leader. With all her father's charisma and forceful personality, it wouldn't surprise Carrie if Laura should end up the first female MP, especially given how interested she had been in her father's campaign. Still, both children were young, and Carrie had no intention of forcing any profession on them. They would always have her support, no matter what path they chose in life.

Laura went off to the kitchen and Carrie was just about to speak to Margaret again, when she heard hooves on the cobblestones in the courtyard. Her heart skipped a beat and unconsciously, both women reached for the others hand, equally fearful of hearing bad news.

Carrie swallowed down her fears as best she could and squeezed Margaret's hand, both giving and receiving strength from the gesture.

John and Bernard entered the room together, both looking glum. Carrie's heart sank, for John would be devastated if he had lost. She felt Margaret grip her hand harder, almost to the point of pain but she didn't complain.

John raised his voice and called for quiet, for having already imbibed much alcohol, many of the partygoers had not even noticed their entrance. A hush quickly fell over the room, since most were sensible enough to understand what his dour expression must mean.

“
Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you have had a good evening so far,” John began. “But I fear we are about to eclipse that.” Suddenly he broke out in a broad smile. “I give you the Right Honourable Bernard Southard, the returning member of parliament for Lampton,” he raised Bernard's hand and the guests clapped and cheered.

“
And I,” Bernard interrupted the cheers. “Would like to present to you the Right Honourable John Thornton, the new member of parliament for Milton!”

Carrie actually screamed a little as she launched herself at her husband, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tightly.

“
You evil man!” she chided though she was laughing. “You had me worried there.”

“
You doubted me?” he teased.

Carrie pulled back and cupped his face.

“
You? Never. Those charged with voting for you? I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them.”

John laughed and hugged her again.

“
You realise that this means you will have to take on more responsibility at the mill,” he said.

“
I think I'm up to the challenge,” she answered.

“
Are you certain?”

“
Of course, I have had a very good teacher.”

She pulled away and smiled at him, but pretty soon he was swept sway from her by the other partygoers who wished to congratulate him. Carrie used the opportunity to go in search of her children, who she found sitting at the kitchen table with Cook.

Both children looked up eagerly as she entered, and her smile told them all they needed to know.

“
Cook wouldn't let us go until we finished our milk,” Laura pouted.

“
She is right, you shouldn't be wasteful. Now drink up and we can go and see Daddy for a short while; then it is time for bed.”

“
But I'm not tired,” both children wailed in unison.

“
Then you can stay up until I see a yawn, at which point you will both be whisked off to bed, agreed?”

“
Yes, Mama.”

“
I'm so pleased,” Cook said. “I was hopeful when we heard the ruckus upstairs but it's nice to know for certain.”

Carrie smiled at her and gave a relieved sigh.

“
I think I would have gone mad if I'd had to wait much longer.”

“
Would you like a tipple, ma'am, to calm your nerves?”

“
Oh, I don't think I can face alcohol right now, but I'd love a mug of warm milk if there's any left. My stomach has been turning somersaults for hours and that might help settle it.”

“
Or at least help you make butter if it doesn't,” Cook joked as she poured another mug of milk from the pan on the stove. Her mistress had some unusual ideas but she was very affable and Cook was inclined to like her.

When the children were finished, Cook escorted them upstairs so that Carrie could enjoy a few minutes of silence by the fire, to calm her frayed nerves as she sipped her milk.

It had been a long few weeks of campaigning and worry, and though she was pleased by John's victory, the fatigue had finally caught up with her, as she had no doubt it would also catch up with John in the next few hours.

“
Hiding already?”

She heard his dulcet tone and turned towards the doorway where he was standing.

“
That's your party up there,” she reminded him.

“
And I can leave it if I want to,” he countered. “Especially when the only person I want to celebrate with is right here.”

“
Where are the children?” she asked.

“
The last I saw them, they were practising giving speeches to anyone who would listen.”

“
Even Daniel?”

“
It was Daniel's idea.”

“
I'd be careful if I were you,” she teased. “In a few years he might give you some competition.”

John took the other seat by the fire and reached out to take her hand. Though he was clearly feeling tired, his smile was still bright and never completely left his face.

“
Can you believe it?” he asked. “Me, an M.P.?”

“
I can believe it. You are a magistrate after all, and even though you have a wild and uncouth wife, you are still well-respected by the local business men.”

“
Wild and uncouth?” he questioned knowing that it was not a phrase she would usually use, and that she had obviously overheard it being spoken in reference to her. Her futuristic ways did often invite scorn from many of her peers, but they also invited respect from a few forward-thinking men and women.