When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood (2 page)
Read When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood Online
Authors: Sophia Fraioli,Lauren Kaelin
“You have to see this text my mom sent me today,” Lauren said.
Sophia looked at Lauren’s phone and laughed. “When parents text, it’s hilarious,” she said.
“That should be a website.”
The next day we registered a domain name and started collecting texts from our siblings and friends. “We’re starting a website! It’s called When Parents Text.”
These next pages are some of the first posts from our site. If you haven’t traveled back this far in the archives, please enjoy our humble beginnings.
Tacos for Dinner
MOM
: Tacos or meat loaf for dinner?
ME
: Tacos
MOM
: Bring your appetite. When will you be home?
MOM
: Eta?
MOM
: ???
ME
: Can you pick me up at 6:45? My phone is going to die.
MOM
: Walnut St?
ME
: Yes
MOM
: How many tacos?
ME
: Might be more like 7.
MOM
: Tacos?
ME
: No, my train gets in then.
ME
: Tacos? 2?
MOM
: How many tacos?
ME
: Mom, chill with the tacos.
Empty Fridge
ME
: Is there anything to eat at home?
MOM
: Bean corn
From the Grave
MOM
: Aunt Mary Louise passed
Old but Relevant
MOM
: michael jackson died
ME
: i know!! its so crazy
MOM
: i still cant believe it.
MOM
: people die, everyday.
Did You Mean “Referral”?
MOM
: I just picked up the reefer. All there. Is lots of traffic. Call the doctor to see if you can reschedule for another day.
Speak to Text
MOM
: wanted to know to plan for dinner we are having depression chili I m using speak dear bish yes chile picturing you will be very good this is good for many laughs the dinner we’ll be d d licious
Delightful
ME
: You smell
DAD
: Like a sweet summer’s breeze
1:59
A.M.
MOM
: Time to be home.
Precisely
MOM
: Happy Birthday! You were born at 3:59 PM. I remember it very clearly. I loved you from the first second.
Ed
ME
: The eye exam costs 35 so I hope they take my card because I don’t have cash.
DAD
: U r Ok. i called. Ed
ME
: Ok. you don’t need to sign messages ‘ed’ every time you send them.
DAD
: It happens automatically.
ME
: But sometimes you sign ‘dad’
DAD
: Thats when I remember to type Dad. But u kno who i am. Ed
Hurricane Prep
MOM
: It’s kind of windy? Aunt Lu says she filled the bathtub with water and has plenty of vodka. Cousin Fred is there.
Saturday Morning
MOM
: BEAUTIFUL DAY!!! Get and up & enjoy it!
MOM
: Wake up, get out of bed!
MOM
: GET UP!!!! ARE YOU MISSING IT!!!
More Like the Parental Network
ME
: Ugh, you never should have been given an iPhone
MOM
: This is a wonderful way for me to keep in touch with you, do you want to be my Facebook friend?
ME
: Nooo
MOM
: I’ll friend you
Non Sequitur
DAD
: Public transport is where its at . . . your bro has a girlfriend named eileen.
That’s One Fine Day
DAD
: On train to see my eighth grade teacher - then a nun, now 73-year-old grandmother./ Tell me where you are
Table for One?
DAD
: Dining alone
ME
: Loser
DAD
: Big time.
Mom’s Got Jokes
MOM
: What do you call a cow with no legs?
MOM
: Ground Beef!!
Breakfast
MOM
: Gritts eggs wild main blueberry with warm blueberry syrup pancakes tky sausage miss u how was ur nite
Phone Impostor
MOM
: Are you not answering your phone?
MOM
: Give me a sign that it’s you!
ME
: Are you serious?
Non Denominational
MOM
: I FOUND YOUR WALLET!!!!!
ME
: Praise Allah
MOM
: God and St. Anthony
When Parents Text
was originally about the trials and errors of parents handling cell phones, the meeting of small keypads and old hands. We hoped to document the hilarity of technology gaps between generations: T9, appropriate emoticons, and Facebook etiquette. Somewhere along the way, LOL became “lots of love,” emoticons stopped expressing emotions, and texting became a format to ask unanswerable questions. Gradually our website became less about technological fumbles and more about relationships. Texting is now a way for parents to stay in touch with their kids, keep up to date on their locations, and remind them of mealtimes. Moreover, through texting, parents are able to instantly communicate their every thought, request, and question. A modern-day “wish you were here,” texting between parents and their children is both hilarious and heartwarming.
Lauren:
The very first texts I received from my mother were simply “LK PHONE HOME,” and then ten minutes later “LK PHONE HOME.” Texting was coupled with Saturday morning phone calls and e-mails in all caps: “LAUREN CALL HOME.”
When I did call home, concerned that something could be wrong, my mother told me that the caps were just to “make it stand out.”
These next few pages show parents echoing my mother’s first attempts at communication.
Hello
MOM
: =
ME
: haha what is that?
MOM
: i dont know just saying hello
Fisheads
ME
: Can you pick me up from the airport tomorrow?
DAD
: Fisheads.
ME
: What?
DAD
: its my only saved quicktext.
Mom2Mom
MOM
: Ok - we’ll visit about it tomorrow. I love you!!
MOM
: Love you, too, Mom!
Hamburger House
DAD
: I’m going to drop off your dorm application. It’s hamburger house right?
DAD
: Hamburger
DAD
: Hamburger
DAD
: I don’t know how this phone gets “hamburger” from H-a-r-d-i-n.
(one hour later)
DAD
: Don’t get your hopes up. They said hamburger house is basically already filled up.
DAD
: Hamburger
DAD
: Not again
Mavin
DAD
: I have a text account now. I am a technology mavin. Have a good day
Multiple Choice
MOM
: How are you :( or :)