When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood (6 page)
Read When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood Online
Authors: Sophia Fraioli,Lauren Kaelin
Sophia:
My grandmother (or as I like to call her, Gigi) just turned ninety. When I first told her about
When Parents Text,
she was immediately proud of me, even though I don’t think she fully understood what I was doing. “I always knew Sophia was going to do something special,” she told my mom.
From that moment on, she became the number-one fan of the site. She once called me and recited over twenty messages she found particularly hilarious. Though she has not mastered the art of text messaging just yet, she always seems to get a kick out of the small portion of
When Parents Text
that is dedicated to her generation.
“How did they learn how to text?” she asked me. “Those keys are so hard to press!”
iTunes
GRANDMA
: U need to come back 2 my house and unalphabetize my music. I do NOT listen 2 it that way…
FB
GRANDMA
: can you help me sometme this week with making a profile pictute on FAcebook?
ME
: yes but i wont be home until 7:30 this whole week.
GRANDMA
: i dont really wear jewlery maybe some pajamas if u see any that look cute with liHi how are you?
Boom Box
GRANDMA
: I dont know how to make dinner more festive we need music I’ll see if I can borrow a boom box but you’ll have to bring the disks
Hi
GRANDMA
: Hi.
ME
: Hi! Have you learned how to text?
GRANDMA
: This is grandma
ME
: Are you enjoying your visit?
GRANDMA
: Yes bye
Pandora
GRANDMA
: Please help - after a while, Pandora stops playing. It says, “Are you still listening? We don’t want to play to an empty room.” The room is not empty - where does it think i went. I want it to keep playing. Help.
Creepy
GRANDMA
: Hey Haley B. Please let’s get together soon. I miss you and I want to smell your hair.
Skyping
GRANDPA
: Hey Jillybean, does the computer have to be on for meto skype?
Placement
GRANDMA
: 11 -@# %&**()+-¿/=( ) < > / <>;’’”.com.com @ @@c’@ @!?!?..m
(five minutes later)
GRANDMA
: DISREGARD MESSAGE. was checking new symbol placement.:)
Dotted
GRANDMA
: H.e.l.l.o.h.o.n.e.y.t.h.i.s.i.s.m.y.f.i.r.s.t.m.e.s.s.a.g.e.i.m.i.s.s.y.o.u.a.m.e.
Rowdy Grandma
GRANDMA
: Hi have you tried that whipped cream with alcohol?
All My Plans
GRANDMA
: hi- all my plans are changed. james can go home so i am on my way to get him. he wants to go home so thats where i am taking him then will go see mom after. had to stop and get his clothes fr paula. she was totally busy with lunch so i am getting a mini pizza at the hut next door. i can eat it in the car. i looked at my face when i was getting ready. used the magnifying mirror today. i had hair growing from my eyebrows to my lids….gross. please tell me in the future if i have a lot of hair growing where it shouldnt be. keep in mind that i cant see well anymore. thanks. -hairy grama!
Killin It
ME
: Have to work til 10. Have fun with Janet!
GRANDMA
: On the patio killin a pitcher of margaritas. Thank u for teaching me!
No Punctuation Needed
GRANDMA
: Do u plan to do college interview with college person making strawberry shortcake friends coming for overnite what do i do when my computer is fuzzy gramps is trying to figure it out takes forever help me whats new? love, me
Hyperabbreviation
GRANDPA
: Hey Sweety (or is it Sweetie -android prefers ie) Srry I missed u. We’re freezg up here in NY xcpt ystrdy-flt lik sprng! Hows cllg life? Hows ur apt+ur rmm8? ML, Gpa
Many Words
GRANDPA
: Did you get done at school just wondering. Did you move back home. Your mom did not say when she talked to gramma. How about all these words in one text. Just patting myself on the back ha ha.
Computer Magic
GRANDMA
: I spoke into the computer and nothing happened
Grandma’s Butt
GRANDMA
: “HEY girl. How is Prince Charmong. Lov U with all my Butt. I would say “heart” but my Butt is bigger. LOL.”
The Lovely Bones
GRANDMA
: Omg, I’m watching this movie called “The Lovely Bones” and the little brother in the movie has that same Mexican puppet we have that freaks u out.
Eagle
GRANDMA
: Eagle just flew across deck i was out there he says hi
Sophia:
When we first got Internet in our house, my mom taught me how to create an e-mail address and sign in to AOL. I can still remember the annoying dial tone and the yellow man dashing across three pictures.
My parents knew little about the Internet, and I knew even less. They used it as a way to connect with family members and people they worked with. I used it to talk to all of my friends in my sixth-grade class.
Over the years, my friends and I began to connect to the Internet for entertainment. Napster, YouTube, LiveJournal, Myspace, and Facebook became important websites for everyone I knew. We used it as a way to communicate, to translate our French homework, and to blog about our every thought.
When my mom finally got on Facebook two years ago, I taught her how to sign in to her account and write on someone’s wall. We had come full circle.
Information Highway
DAD
: Dear son, with new toy in hand and text messaging for the first time, I enter the 21st century, no longer roadkill on the super-information highway. I know not what path I follow but I am resolute to the task. For in the words of the inimitable Yogi Berra, “If you don’t know where ur going, u might end up somewhere else.”
love dad
Google Earth
MOM
: Are you at home now?
ME
: Yeah. Why?
MOM
: I’m on google earth and looking at your house. Wave at me through the window!
Old, Stinky, and Bald
DAD
: OMG just hooked up wii to the internet and signed up for netflix - I may never leave my chair again
ME
: haha that’s awesome! I love netflix!
DAD
: No seriously you will fine me old, stinky, and bald some day just sitting here watching a movie
The Best
MOM
: Your profile picture is the greatest! Yes one of the best. I love it. That’s why I love facebook. That’s why I’m on. You guys are the best. I love being a part of it all. And I can go from one kid to another. Yes it is the best*
Chirping
MOM
: chirp chirp…that’s me tweeting. Lol
*This mom is
the best.
Unamused
MOM
: Can you block your list of friends from non-Facebook friends? It’s too personal.
ME
: No, sorry.
MOM
: (?_?) unamused face
Password I
MOM
: my username is rockinout and the password is chocolate
Password II
ME
: Whats your computer password?
MOM
: bubbles
Password III
ME
: I need your e-mail password
MOM
: HOTMOM (in big letters)
Password IV
MOM
: I’m not making this up-if anyone ever asks u why u are so weird there is an example- dad protected his profile on his computer and I needed something to I managed to pry the password out of him- it is f*ck
Pal O’Mine
DAD
: I just saw on tv that 73 percent of kids on facebook have their parents on their buddy list
DAD
: How bout it pal o mine?
Confirming
DAD
: Quick ? How do you accept a friend request?
ME
: press confirm
DAD
: I know, but after that
VCR
DAD
: Do you have a VCR? You know, so we can Skype later?
Robbed
MOM
: Please dont mention on facebook or to your friends we are gone. Do not want to get robbed. Xoxo
Upside Down
MOM
: Is it bad that it took me 10 minutes to open my laptop because i was trying from the wrong side? The apple was upside down!
The Judds
MOM
: Hi honey, be proud. Was watching Oprah and wanted to know a name of a guest so I googled ‘big fat Judd sister’. The first answer was her. Have a good day!
“Available”
MOM
: I think I just changed my status, what does it say?
ME
: It doesn’t say anything.
MOM
: I prefer to say nothing. Why does dads say available. Doesn’t mine also?
MOM
: Do I have to type in available? I thought it was automatic
ME
: Mom no.
MOM
: Look now
ME
: It doesn’t stay anything.
MOM
: So strange. I just typed it in edit my profile
ME
: Ok your status says available now but mom that’s weird.
MOM
: Yes it’s all good now. Moving on!