Where I Found You (38 page)

The moment she had finished, Maggie shivered as she imagined that door being flung open. ‘I’d say Flo’s final words speak volumes, wouldn’t you agree? She wanted Kathy to have the house so that one day her birth mother would come and find her. And it looks as if she has,’ Maggie said in a short summation of the truth that could finally be spoken aloud.

‘Have you told Kathy?’ Anne’s voice sounded further away than it should.

Maggie’s elation was swept away by guilt. ‘No. The only connection she’s aware of is that Elsa knew the woman who once owned her house and the salon. She presumes her dad bought them from Flo Jackson’s estate.’

‘No, she doesn’t,’ Anne said, her voice choking on the last remnants of emotional restraint. ‘She found the deeds of transfer and wanted me to explain why we had inherited the properties. My daughter waited for me to explain the family connection but I couldn’t do it. I desperately wanted the secret to stay buried.’

‘So if Kathy has worked out that you’re Flo Jackson’s niece then she knows the truth,’ Judith said.

In the pause that followed, Maggie imagined Anne nodding grimly.

‘She knows, but she’s still waiting for you to tell her, isn’t she?’ Maggie demanded.

‘I should have told her a long time ago,’ Anne said, her voice quaking. Her defences had been destroyed and had left her broken. ‘But I didn’t want to hurt her. I only ever wanted to protect my daughter, more than you could possibly know.’

‘No one could ever doubt that you love Kathy,’ Judith said, her voice a gentle balm in response to Anne’s roiling emotions. ‘You’ve been a good mum to her.’

‘I’m not the evil baby snatcher you think I am,’ Anne said, casting her remark towards the silent Maggie. ‘Although I will admit, I was jealous when Elsa and her sister asked for my help. It was so unfair that some girls could fall pregnant without even trying. I had struggled for years and yes, Judith, it is awful to witness a baby being stillborn; in fact, it’s harrowing. But you have to believe me – it was only after Elsa mentioned having the baby adopted that I realised what an amazing opportunity had presented itself. By the time Elsa began to have doubts, I had already started to think of the baby as my own and I was prepared to go to any lengths to keep her safe from those who would only do her harm.’

Maggie was tensing herself for the next contraction but it didn’t stop her hearing another secret being swept over. ‘You actually thought Elsa would harm her own child?’

‘Not Elsa.’

‘Then who?’

‘Think ill of me if you must, but please, there are some things that Elsa would be better off never knowing; ghosts that should remain buried in the past.’ There was no strength left in Anne’s words. She wasn’t going to fight if Maggie insisted.

A gasp escaped her as the next contraction took hold and the only way Maggie could disguise it was to talk through it without pausing to think. ‘Let me be the judge of that.’

Anne went quiet but Maggie and Judith were prepared to wait. When Anne’s confession came the flare of anger in it took them both by surprise. ‘Did you ever stop to wonder how convenient it was that Freddie died when he did? No, of course not, and why would you? You fell for his charm just like Elsa did but Freddie didn’t die! He killed himself off and played the hero to the end.’

Maggie felt her jaw drop. ‘How could you know that?’

‘When Elsa wrote to Freddie and explained that she was pregnant, she also told him about me and how desperate I was to adopt the baby. I wasn’t only the answer to his problems; I was a potential source of income. While he was wooing Elsa with promises, he was busily extorting money out of me, through Celia. He threatened to return to England and take Elsa and the baby away to their ultimate ruination or we could save her by buying his eternal silence.’

‘So you put a pregnant woman through the torment of believing her fiancé had been killed?’ Maggie asked in utter disbelief.

When Anne spoke, her words were muffled. She had covered her face with one hand as she accounted for her misdeeds. ‘I know what I put Elsa through. I’m reminded of it every time I look at my daughter and see the same spark of life I once saw in her mother’s eyes before we snuffed it out. She had her heart broken twice over but we did what we considered to be the lesser of two evils. Remaining the hero was more than Freddie deserved but Celia knew her sister and I had to agree; she would see no wrong in him and had to be shocked into her senses.’

‘So Freddie was the real villain in all of this …’ Judith added.

Maggie shook her head as if to rid herself of the memories of Elsa sitting on the bench grieving for her perfect hero. She had never experienced such a sense of loathing for another human being.

‘And he’s been a spectre in my life ever since,’ Anne continued. ‘We had intended seeking a court order to formally adopt the baby, but I was terrified Freddie might turn up again with more threats before it was finalised. I was the one who persuaded Gordon to misreport the birth, but of course, that left us even more vulnerable to blackmail. And there you have it, Maggie, the reason my husband gave up his medical career. We had no choice but to start afresh.’

‘And that was why you cut off all ties with Flo Jackson,’ Maggie guessed.

‘I didn’t want to do it; I was all the family she had but she left me no choice when I caught her trying to sneak off with the baby to see Elsa.’

‘You stopped Flo from meeting up with Elsa?’ Maggie asked, the emotional pain of that revelation almost as intense as the next contraction.

‘I’d been visiting my aunt when she offered to take the baby to the park so I could do a bit of shopping. I was about to leave her on the High Street when someone stopped to say hello and mentioned that they’d seen Elsa sitting down by the lake. Even Aunt Flo couldn’t talk her way out of that one,’ Anne explained. ‘Kathy was only a month old at the time and, however remote the possibility, I couldn’t risk losing her.’

‘That particular pleasure was left to Elsa.’

Despite the harsh assessment, there was no malice. Maggie had heard only painful truth from Anne and, despite her best efforts, she no longer thought of her as a monster. She was a frail old woman who had been driven by circumstance and longings for a child to call her own. Maggie had seen Jenny go through a similar kind of misery so it was impossible to condemn Anne.

‘I know it looks like I was the one who got what I wanted,’ Anne said, ‘but I think, on balance, Elsa got what she needed at the time, however cruel it may seem now. I still have the letters Freddie sent to Celia, setting out his stall, along with the forged note supposedly from his commanding officer informing Elsa of the accident. I keep them to remind me that we did the right thing, for Kathy most of all. She couldn’t have been more loved.’

Maggie couldn’t reply, her jaw was set in a grimace and she dug her fingers deeper into the armchair.

‘So what will you do now?’ Judith asked Anne.

It was Anne’s turn to catch her breath as emotions overwhelmed her. ‘I need to speak to my daughter. I just hope she can forgive me.’

‘Kathy was willing to accept your silence on the matter: if that isn’t testament to how much she loves and admires you then I don’t know what is,’ Maggie said.

‘And will you tell Elsa?’ Anne whispered.

‘I had hopes of reuniting her with her daughter but I have to consider other people’s feelings. It pains me to say it but it might have to be enough to simply tell Elsie that her daughter is happy and loved.’

There was nothing left to say and no one argued when Maggie suggested it was time to go. Anne had laid bare her soul but it was a measure of her character that she retained her dignity to the last. She was courteous enough to give her persecutor a kiss on the cheek as they stood at the door, leaving a trail of damp tears on Maggie’s face.

There was still one secret to be revealed but this one had nothing to do with the past and everything to do with the future. Maggie’s contractions had been getting more regular and increasingly stronger so when she reached the car and the next one took hold, she let the gasp of pain escape unchecked for the first time.

‘My God, what is it? Is it the baby?’ Judith was by her side in moments and began to rub Maggie’s back.

‘If I told you my contractions were five minutes apart would you panic?’

‘I’ll phone for an ambulance.’ Judith’s voice was surprisingly calm and reassuring.

‘No, I’ll be fine. Do you think you could find your way to the hospital?’

‘It’s where Sam and Liam were born so yes, of course I know the way but …’

‘Less chat, more driving I think.’

As Judith set off, Maggie searched for her phone. It wasn’t in her bag. She’d forgotten – she’d deliberately left it at home so that she had an excuse, however feeble, for not telling James where she was and what she was doing. ‘Do you have your mobile with you?’

‘It’s in my handbag,’ Judith said with a grunt as she reached an arm behind her seat, scrambling around while she continued to drive. ‘Here, it’s in the side pocket.’

Maggie tried not to panic when she realised that Judith’s mobile wasn’t one she was familiar with. Even though her fingers found the number pad, without her voice commands and contact list, it was worse than useless. ‘I can’t remember James’s number. My brain has turned to mush.’

Judith laughed. ‘Get used to it. My brain was mush for years after James was born. Maybe it still is, because I can’t remember the number either. Hand it over,’ she said calmly. The car swerved to the side of the road and Judith pulled on the handbrake. ‘I don’t care what the emergency; I’m not using the phone and driving at the same time.’

‘It’s good to know you’re a careful driver,’ Maggie said and was about to suggest she might be called upon to drive around with her new grandchild soon but her words were cut short by another contraction.

‘It’s ringing,’ Judith said. She handed the phone back to Maggie and the car indicators briefly clicked in sync with the ringing tone. They were on the move again.

The phone rang out until it switched to voicemail. Maggie cut off the call. ‘No answer,’ she said with a shuddering gasp as the contraction subsided.

‘Ah, he’s probably seen who the caller is. Try again. The button on the bottom left is the redial.’

Maggie redialled only to have the call diverted yet again. She hung up and hit the redial button. This time the call switched to divert almost immediately. ‘He’s deliberately ignoring the call!’ Maggie screamed through gritted teeth. ‘The stubborn, useless idiot!’

The car swerved to another stop. ‘We’ll try someone else and they can get through to the stubborn, useless idiot.’

‘How about Ken?’

‘He’s out on site this morning and I’m afraid he’s a bit of a technophobe. He doesn’t have a mobile. How about Kathy?’ Judith still sounded calm but it was taking a little more effort.

‘No.’ It didn’t matter how desperate Maggie was, she had caused enough chaos in Kathy’s life for one day.

‘This is an emergency,’ Judith insisted. She made the call herself. ‘It’s engaged. How about Jenny?’

Another contraction pulled Maggie’s abdomen tight and the pain could no longer be described as a twinge by any stretch of the imagination. ‘I can’t remember her number either. Do you have it?’ she panted.

‘Sorry.’

‘Ted! I know the Miltons’ home phone number by heart and I’m sure they’ll be there.’

Maggie repeated the number and Judith, whose hands were shaking only marginally less than Maggie’s, pressed the buttons. With the phone ringing in her ear, Maggie was pushed back in her seat as Judith set off again, accelerating much faster than before.

‘Hi, Ted, it’s Maggie. Yes, I’m fine,’ she began. ‘Well, actually I’m not. I’m in labour and I’m on my way to the hospital but I can’t get in touch with James. He’s doing a job at Sedgefield Primary School.’ The school was close enough for Ted to walk there but she now realised that she couldn’t ask him to leave Elsie by herself. ‘Do you think you could phone the school or is there someone you could ask to go over there?’

For once, fortune was on their side. Elsie’s home help was with them and Ted had been on his way out anyway. He told her not to worry; he would march over there and bang James’s head against the wall he was building before sending him off to find her. He was going to be her hero.

27

‘Don’t leave me!’

Maggie had grabbed Judith’s arm when she suggested slipping out to help track down her wayward son. The midwife with them in the delivery suite wasn’t someone Maggie knew and she wasn’t particularly keen on her matronly style. There had always been a good chance Mel wouldn’t be on duty when the time came but it was still another bitter blow. Her original birth plan, which had never in her wildest dreams included Judith as a potential birth partner, lay in tatters.

‘I won’t be long.’

‘No, please, Judith, don’t go. I’m so scared.’ Maggie had been given a tour of the delivery suite as part of her antenatal preparations but without Mel’s comforting and confident presence, the once-safe environment felt intimidating and frightening but there were other fears too. ‘It’s too early for the baby to come.’

‘You’re in safe hands. Don’t worry.’

Maggie couldn’t answer as another contraction took hold and was the strongest yet. She was lying prone on a hospital bed and the Pethidine she had been given was having little to no effect. She breathed in the gas and air, biting down on the mouthpiece to stifle a cry of pain. A heavy wave of wooziness washed over her, although it wasn’t enough to completely block out the pain. Eventually the contraction began to subside and a couple of deep, cleansing breaths lifted the drunken haze.

‘Don’t leave me,’ she repeated.

‘OK, I’ll stay.’

‘You’ve still got a while to go yet, Maggie, so if you don’t mind, I’ll leave you with your mum-in-law,’ the midwife said, then slipped something into Maggie’s hand. ‘This is the alarm button. Press it if there are any problems or if you’re worried at all.’

As soon as the midwife had left, Maggie said, ‘Why don’t you try phoning in here? There’s no one to stop us now.’