Where I Found You (40 page)

‘Don’t think that just because I’m bringing you flowers that it’s some kind of peace offering.’

Maggie swept up the bouquet and breathed in the delicious floral scents. ‘Lilacs, how lovely.’

‘Yes, they are. But wipe that smile off your face, Maggie Carter. I’m still very angry.’

There was something in Kathy’s voice that confirmed it was no idle warning. ‘If you’re going to shout at me then let’s not do it on the doorstep. Come in.’

‘Babies first,’ Kathy said as she accepted Maggie’s invitation. ‘Where is that gorgeous boy of yours?’

‘I’m here,’ James said. He was standing at the living room door, his voice hushed and a softly snoring baby in his arms.

‘Oh, you’re absolutely gorgeous! Not like your daddy at all,’ Kathy added. ‘Here, can I have a go?’

Aiden was bundled into Kathy’s waiting arms and she disappeared into the living room to make herself comfortable. James, who had heard the exchange at the door, gave Maggie an encouraging kiss on the forehead. ‘I’ll make myself scarce,’ he said, taking the flowers.

‘Tea, two sugars,’ Kathy called after him.

Aiden whimpered in his sleep as Maggie was about to take a seat on the sofa opposite Kathy. ‘Is he all right?’ she asked.

‘Sit down, he’s absolutely fine. Aren’t you, sweetheart?’ Kathy had dropped her voice to a whisper.

She spent a good minute gently coaxing the baby back to sleep and another minute or two letting the silence stretch out. Maggie was feeling distinctly uncomfortable in Kathy’s company and that made her feel even worse. Kathy was more than a friend, she was a major influence in her life and Maggie had betrayed her trust. ‘So, are you ready to shout at me now?’ she managed.

‘You had no right to go behind my back.’

‘I know.’

‘It wasn’t only my family you rode roughshod over, Maggie, it was my entire life. You took my identity and ripped it in two. I’m not who I thought I was – and even worse than that, my parents aren’t who I thought they were either.’ Kathy kept her voice low and it was almost a growl.

‘I know, and if Aiden wasn’t already keeping me awake then my conscience would be. But I couldn’t exactly ask you if you wanted to know or not. The only option I had was to ask your mum.’

‘Which one?’

‘Both,’ Maggie confessed. ‘Although Elsie couldn’t really give me the answers I needed.’

‘So you wrenched a confession out of Mum,’ Kathy said before adding a confession of her own. ‘But I already knew, Maggie.’

‘I know that now.’

‘I found copies of the deeds for the house and shop while you were sitting next to me talking to Mark. I was about to say something when I spotted a letter from the executor of Flo Jackson’s estate. It didn’t explain everything but it was enough to turn my world upside down.’

‘Sorry.’

‘I know you are; and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too,’ Kathy offered. ‘I should have trusted you, Maggie, but I was scared. Part of me wanted to know the truth and I even made a half-hearted attempt to ask Mum … But I’ve lived in this skin for sixty years and I wasn’t looking for a new identity. I wanted the past to stay exactly where it was and I even dropped a hint or two to James so he would convince you to stop your damned search for Tess – for me.’ Kathy paused to draw breath. ‘And of course your timing was awful. Not only was I in the middle of a house move but I had also been planning on setting up home with mum.’

Maggie’s conscience prepared to take another blow. ‘You made up problems with the granny flat to stop your mum moving in, didn’t you?’ she asked, remembering how Anne had mentioned the dry rot. ‘Please don’t say it’s not going to happen.’

‘How can it?’

‘Oh, Kathy, I’m so, so sorry.’

Kathy shifted uncomfortably and her head was bowed when she spoke. ‘I’m not saying it won’t happen eventually. She’s still the woman who brought me up, still my mum, but right now I’m even more angry with her than I am with you.’ There was a heavy sigh that sounded wet with tears but, like her adoptive mother, Kathy fought against them. ‘Shush there,’ she said to the sleeping baby who needed the words of comfort far less than she did.

‘Are you okay?’ Maggie asked quietly.

‘I went to see Ted and Elsie after I found out,’ Kathy said, as if that answered the question.

‘Ted mentioned you’d arranged the home help for them.’

There was another sigh as if Kathy’s lungs were slowly being crushed by the weight of her new-found knowledge. ‘Elsie wasn’t there, but Elsa was. She was clinging on to a cushion and pleading with us not to take her baby. What they did to her? Maggie, it broke her heart and now it’s breaking mine …’

‘Has your mum explained to you why they did what they did?’

‘Yes, and I might need your newly found detective skills to trace my so-called father. I swear, if I could track him down I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions.’

‘I’m so sorry, Kathy.’

‘So you keep saying. But don’t worry, I
will
forgive you. I have to.’

For the first time since Kathy had arrived, Maggie relaxed a little. ‘And why would that be?’

‘Because my head is all over the place and I need my friends now more than ever. What’s done is done. It’s how we move on from here that’s causing me some sleepless nights of my own. So you say you tried to tell Elsie? Does that mean Ted knows?’

‘Not everything. He only knows that I’ve found Tess, nothing more. I didn’t want to make things any worse than I already had,’ Maggie said. ‘But …’

‘Let me guess, you think I should.’

There was an apologetic look to accompany the nod.

‘We both know how ill Elsie has become. It’s not going to be the fairy-tale reunion you’ve had in mind for the last six months.’

‘I know, but she still has her moments. I’ll help as much as I can, but if you’re going to do it then do it soon.’

Kathy cleared her throat, the threat of tears over for the moment. ‘No pressure then,’ she said, and Maggie was grateful that at least it wasn’t an outright refusal.

‘And don’t forget that it’s not only about you and Elsie. You have two sisters you never knew you had,’ Maggie added, aware she had to tread carefully but unable to stop herself from pushing the positives.

‘That’s the only thing I’m looking forward to – or, I should say, the thing I’m dreading least. I’ve already met Yvonne and we got on really well so I’m hoping that in time we could all get used to the idea.’

‘I’m sure they’ll learn to love their older sister.’

‘Less of the old.’

‘Sorry.’

‘Stop being so meek, it doesn’t suit you. I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d sat there telling me I should count myself lucky for having two mothers.’

‘I wouldn’t say such a thing,’ Maggie said, although she had thought it. Her first outing with Aiden had been to the cemetery to introduce her mum to the baby. She had gone with her dad who had managed to get back to England within days of the birth and he had been there to hold onto while she sobbed uncontrollably at her mum’s grave.

There was a tentative knock at the door. ‘Is it safe to come in yet?’ James asked.

‘Yes, I’ve had enough of the serious talk and I’m ready for that cuppa now,’ Kathy told him. ‘There’s only one mother I want to talk about now and that’s the new one. I hope you’re looking after her.’

‘As if I need to,’ James said.

Maggie allowed the smile to spread across her face as she listened to James extol her virtues. She felt warmth flooding her body and it was the perfect remedy to the stress she had put herself through in the last week. She had felt sick with dread after Jenny produced the will and then, after the confrontation with Anne, the mixture of guilt and fear had been overwhelming. It had sullied the birth of her son and the days that followed.

She hadn’t allowed herself to enjoy the moment but she did now. Tears of joy slipped down her cheeks while James and Kathy were too involved in their conversation to notice. Harvey, who had been standing guard over the baby, whimpered. Maggie heard him take a couple of steps towards her but then he stopped as Aiden let out a tiny whimper of his own.

‘Can I hold him?’ Maggie asked, interrupting James mid-sentence.

‘Who am I to come between a mother and her child?’ Kathy said as she placed the sleeping baby gently into Maggie’s arms.

Kathy put her hand on Maggie’s face and wiped away a tear. ‘Don’t make me cry too.’

‘You don’t know how much I would hate to do that,’ Maggie said as her mind stretched back sixty years. She could still hear the baby’s cries but they no longer haunted her.

29

‘Hand lotion?’

‘It’ll help,’ Maggie promised.

Kathy gave a deep heavy sigh that emptied every ounce of air from her lungs. ‘I suppose it’s packed full of essential oils to help me relax.’

As Maggie waited for her friend to open the bottle, she listened to the scrape of leaves being blown across the ground towards a watery grave. ‘Try it.’

Kathy unscrewed the top and Maggie imagined a frown creasing her brow.

‘Lilacs? I should have known.’

‘I’m trying to recapture the fragrance that Elsie associates with Tess. This is a better match than her perfume and might be enough to make the link to you.’

‘Sounds more like a leap of faith to me.’

‘Isn’t everything these days? All I know is Elsie relies on her perfume to keep you close. She’s never let go of you,’ Maggie said as she reached over unconsciously for her own baby. Aiden’s pram was tucked away to the side of the bench to protect him from the blustery November weather.

‘But she barely knows who she is these days. What hope is there that she’ll be able to recognise me as the baby taken from her all of those years ago?’

Maggie wasn’t ready to admit defeat. ‘I spoke to Ted before we left. He said she’s not too bad today and being here will help.’

‘Your bench is going to have to have some pretty impressive powers to make this work.’

As she spoke, Kathy had poured out a generous amount of lotion into the palm of her hand. She inhaled the lilac-scented air and held her breath. So did Maggie.

‘Anything?’

‘Hmm, I’d like to say yes, in fact I almost
could
say yes but … no. It’s wishful thinking.’ Kathy began to rub her hands together then added, ‘I can’t believe how much my hands are shaking.’

Maggie reached over to her. ‘Here, let me do that.’

A gust of wind picked up the fragrance and coiled it around them. With Maggie’s steadying hand, Kathy began to calm as they continued to wait. Harvey was the first to notice Elsie and Ted approaching. He had been sitting next to the pram but slipped closer to Maggie as his excitement began to build.

‘Look who this is,’ Ted said. ‘You remember Maggie and Kathy, don’t you?’

‘Yes of course, how lovely to see you and who’s this then?’ Elsie said to the dog licking her hand voraciously.

‘This is Harvey,’ Maggie said. ‘You and he are old friends.’

‘Yes,’ Elsie replied, more out of politeness than recollection.

Maggie gently nudged Kathy so a space opened up between them. ‘Why don’t you sit here and we’ll keep you nice and snug.’

‘You know, I think I will. My feet are killing me.’

As Elsie sat down, Maggie said a silent prayer. This had to work.

‘I’m going to stretch my legs for a bit,’ Ted said. ‘Just shout if you need anything. I won’t go far.’

Maggie strained her ears as she waited for Kathy to speak but other than Ted’s receding footsteps all she heard was the whisper of trembling leaves. She cleared her throat deliberately but Kathy didn’t take the hint. She had been struck dumb.

‘You came here when you were younger,’ Maggie said to Elsie when her patience was exhausted. ‘But that was a long time ago, wasn’t it?’ Her question was guarded. More often than not these days, Mrs Milton was neither in the past nor the present. She had fallen between the cracks and, as Maggie tried to ease her back towards the present, she knew she was just as likely to push her into the past. ‘You told me about your stay with Mrs Jackson.’

Elsie fidgeted. ‘Judging by these hands I’d say that was a long time ago. Thirty years maybe?’ she guessed. ‘I think my feet were killing me back then too.’ There was a soft chuckle.

‘Yes, you worked at a greengrocer’s and it was hard work. You were pregnant at the time.’

‘I told you that?’ she asked with a gasp of disbelief. ‘I didn’t think I’d ever tell anyone.’

‘You told me about Freddie and the baby, Elsie. You told me about Tess.’

Elsie nodded solemnly. ‘I lost them both.’

Maggie reached out for Elsie’s hand. ‘I know,’ she said but her pity was tinged with bitterness. Freddie didn’t deserve Elsie’s grief and while Maggie fought the urge to say something the old lady’s body stiffened. She took hold of Maggie’s hand and raised it to her face.

‘I know that smell.’

Maggie wanted to pull away but Elsie’s grip was uncompromising. ‘It’s not the same as your perfume, is it? This scent is from
real
lilacs. I think Tess was bathed in something similar when she was born. Do you remember?’

‘How could I forget? I know I’ll have to face the prospect of forgetting most things but not that, please God, not that.’

‘What if I were to tell you that you don’t have to remember? What if Tess was here to remind you?’ Elsie’s fingers had been curled tightly around Maggie’s but her grip slackened and Maggie could feel her slipping away. ‘Elsie,’ she said, her heartbeat providing her very own drum roll, ‘I’ve found your daughter.’

‘Yes, she’s in Scotland,’ she said. ‘Or is it America? No of course not, that’s the other one, Yvonne, no Nancy. Yvonne went to Scotland, that’s it.’ There was a sigh as she let go of Maggie’s hand completely. ‘I really must get going or I’ll be late for work.’

In the pram next to her, Maggie could hear Aiden stirring. It was an opportune moment for her to withdraw from the conversation. She leaned forward. ‘Kathy?’

‘It’s Sunday, Elsie. No work today so we’ve got plenty of time to sit and chat,’ Kathy said with an urgency that belied her reassurances. Time was very much against them but still Kathy paused, grappling with the words she had been rehearsing in her head for days. ‘Anne Walters and her husband Gordon took your baby as their own.’