Where I Found You (42 page)

‘Can we get in touch with her? All I want is one last chance to tell her that I never stopped loving her, just one. Would that be too much to ask?’ There was desperation in Elsie’s voice, as if she was already preparing to be told it was as impossible now as it always had been.

‘I think she already knows.’

Only rarely did Maggie miss her sight but there had been two such occasions in the last month. The first had been at the birth of her son and the second was now. She couldn’t see the looks on Elsie and Kathy’s faces so had to make do with the sensation of bringing two trembling hands together.

‘This is Tess, Elsie.’

‘No, you can’t be my baby,’ Elsie gasped, snapping her hand away as if she had received an electric shock.

Maggie didn’t panic. She could read Elsie’s voice perfectly and the old lady wasn’t rejecting her daughter, she was simply awestruck. Kathy meanwhile thought the worst and let out a sob.

‘Oh, my beautiful girl,’ Elsie whispered, reaching her hand towards Kathy again. ‘Don’t cry.’

Maggie wanted to savour the moment but she knew she was intruding. ‘I’ll leave you alone with your daughter, Elsie.’

Stepping away, Maggie was riding on such a high that she almost walked straight into the lake. She sensed the vast expanse of water in front of her but the gnawing fear of its murky depths had vanished. She and Elsa were safe now. With nothing to fear, Maggie used the sound of sobbing on one side of her and the benign lap of water on the other to find her bearings. Without the benefit of a cane or her guide dog, she relied on her intimate knowledge of the park to remove herself from the scene and grant Elsie her longed-for wish of having Tess all to herself.

There was the sound of approaching wheels accompanied by the regular click of claws and Maggie waited for her own reunion. ‘How’s it going?’ Ted asked.

‘Better than I thought it would at one point. Elsie knows who Kathy is now and that she’s found Tess. She really knows it, Ted.’ The curve of her smile was collecting the tears that were falling freely but other than the ache in her cheeks, she barely noticed.

‘You do realise that she’ll have forgotten it all by the time we’ve stepped out of the park, don’t you?’

‘I know,’ Maggie replied, refusing to let her smile falter. ‘But even if her illness takes that memory from her, Kathy will remember for the two of them.’

‘Your friend’s a formidable lady, isn’t she?’

Maggie laughed. ‘It should have been obvious that she and Elsie were related. But it’s going to be hard for her to come to terms with everything that’s happened in the last few weeks.’

‘It’s such a shame she never got to know Elsie when she was … Elsie.’

‘I think that’s where you come in. You can help fill in the gaps.’

‘I’ll do as much as I can and the rest of the family can help too, once they know.’

Elsie’s other daughters had yet to be told that they had another sister and only time would tell how they would take the news. She hoped that if Kathy were to be denied ever truly knowing her mother she would at least have a chance to know her sisters.

‘Did I do the right thing?’ she asked.

It was too much to hope that Elsie’s mind would free her from the pain and guilt she had carried around for sixty years – her life had become too entrenched in the past to release her completely – so Maggie would have to look to others for confirmation that it had all been worth it in the end.

‘
Elsa
would think so,’ Ted said.

‘Yes, she would.’ There was still a half smile on Maggie’s face as she wondered if there would be times to come when she could sit with the woman who called herself Elsa and tell her what the future held. But then the smile faded. ‘Would she want to know everything, do you think?’

‘Everything?’

Maggie had been reaching out to take hold of the pram but she found Ted’s arm and held on to it. ‘Freddie wasn’t the hero we all thought he was, Ted.’

He patted her hand. ‘I think I could have told you that, love. But my Elsie wouldn’t be able to accept it, not then and not now.’

‘What if I told you that he wasn’t killed in a motorbike accident? That he had no intention of marrying Elsa? That he was only using her to blackmail Anne by proving how easily he could ruin her?’ As Maggie proceeded to tell Ted everything, the old man’s grip on her hand tightened. ‘Don’t you think we should at least try to tell her what kind of a man he really was?’ she asked.

He squeezed her hand one last time and then let go. ‘No. He’s still her hero.’

Anger bloomed. ‘No, Ted, you’re her hero! You’re the one who gave your life and your heart to that woman. You gave her hope for the future and then a life she could be proud of. You’re the one who fights for her and cares for her. You’re the hero who rescued her from the care home, for goodness’ sake!’ Maggie’s fury burned up the oxygen in her lungs. When she paused for breath, Ted was ready with his reply.

‘And I’m the one who will let her keep her dreams.’

The only response Maggie could offer was a stifled sob.

‘Now, don’t you go feeling sorry for me,’ he warned. ‘It’s not always Freddie she’s thinking about, even if she thinks she is.’

Maggie swallowed back her anger as best she could. ‘How do you mean?’

‘Elsie’s hero used to take her to the park,’ he explained. ‘Not this one, but Sefton Park in Liverpool. She was very withdrawn after returning from Sedgefield and wouldn’t speak to anyone. On the positive side, she couldn’t say no when her hero insisted on taking her out. He would sit beside her on the park bench and tell her that she wasn’t on her own. He would tell her all about the swans and how, once they found their mate, they never left each other’s side. He told her over and over again until one day she realised that she was his swan and when he asked her to marry him, she said yes.’

‘And that was you.’

Maggie couldn’t help herself; she gave Ted a hug. Perhaps it was just her imagination but he had somehow grown in stature since she had last held him.

By the time they were all ready to leave the park, the autumn wind had lost its breath and a peaceful lull descended. Harvey led the way with Maggie, followed closely by Ted who was still pushing the pram while Kathy and Elsie trailed behind. Kathy was giving her birth mother a guided tour of her life from early childhood to the latest news that she was soon to be a grandmother again. At first Elsie listened in awe, occasionally asking questions but then, slowly and inevitably, she fell into silence. As they stepped through the iron gates that separated the park from the High Street, Ted’s prediction was proven painfully true. Elsie said goodbye as if Kathy and Maggie were strangers but Kathy wasn’t deterred.

‘We’re going to meet again, you and I,’ she promised, ‘and I’m going to remind you why today is worth remembering.’

Epilogue

Aiden was sitting up in his pushchair, squealing with delight as he spied the ducks approaching from the other side of the lake. It was hard to imagine that he had once been so tiny and defenceless. Hard, but not impossible, because Maggie had been acutely aware of how precious those first memories were. She never allowed herself to become complacent, and yet life had insisted on moving at an alarming pace.

To quell her nerves, Maggie took a deep breath before launching a handful of bread into the air. Amidst the cacophony of quacks, she detected the occasional cheep. The first brood of ducklings had arrived.

Deep in her own thoughts, she jumped when her phone rang. It was James. Harvey took a step nearer the pram. He would keep a watchful eye on Aiden while Maggie was temporarily distracted.

‘Haven’t you got work to do?’ she asked.

‘It’s nearly lunchtime. I’m allowed a break once in a while.’

Maggie was only too aware of what time of day it was and James’s reminder only served to intensify her anxiety. ‘How’s it going?’ she asked, eager for a diversion.

‘It was going fine until Kathy turned up this morning. She’s changed her mind on a couple of things. Again.’

‘It won’t put the completion date back, will it?’

‘I won’t let it, not while everyone’s so impatient to move in.’

‘Everyone except possibly Anne.’

The last six months had been difficult for Kathy, her two mums and their respective families, and Maggie still felt guilty. She had created the mess, albeit with good intentions, but it was Kathy who had been left to pick up the pieces. How she proposed to do that had surprised even Maggie.

‘Actually, she was there this morning too. I wouldn’t go so far as to say Anne was excited, but she seemed willing to make it work. She had her own ideas and there was a bit of friction between the two of them but Kathy knows how to handle her.’

‘I’m just relieved they’re still moving in together.’ If Maggie regretted anything, it was the damage that had been done to Kathy’s relationship with Anne. Whatever the rights and wrongs of Kathy’s adoption and the secrecy surrounding it, there had never been any doubt that the bond between the two was worth fighting for. Thankfully, Kathy had never lost sight of that.

‘Rather Kathy than me, though,’ James said with a laugh. ‘To have one mother move in with you is bad enough, but two?’

James wasn’t the only one wondering how it would work. Kathy hadn’t been able to settle in the new house once she knew how much history she had left behind. The old Georgian villa in Sedgefield was, and always would be, her home and she wanted to move back. She still wanted her mum to move in with her and now she also wanted to help Elsie. Flo Jackson’s guesthouse was big enough for all of them, and with a few alterations and a fair amount of renovation, no one could think of a reason why they couldn’t all move in together, even Anne, who no longer had to fear returning to Sedgefield. It would give Kathy a chance to spend some time with her birth mother and everyone had to agree that it had a certain poetic justice.

‘I wish Flo Jackson could have known what would happen. She wanted the house to remain in the family so that it might reunite a mother with her daughter – but even she couldn’t have imagined they would all end up living there together, Anne included.’

‘At least Kathy isn’t going to be able to complain about rattling around in an empty house any more.’

Kathy’s plan hadn’t been that difficult to pull off in the end. Anne insisted on selling her house to pay for the redevelopment and James was commissioned to do the work. Ted was more than happy with the idea, not least because Yvonne had been making noises about her parents moving up to Scotland again. Joe wasn’t too keen on having to deal with two mothers-in-law but he had found an ally in Ted and wasn’t going to be completely outnumbered.

‘I’d better go. Mark’s waving frantically at me,’ James said.

Mark had picked up his long-forgotten joinery skills with surprising ease and James hadn’t needed much convincing to take him on, not with all the extra work Kathy was sending his way. Mark was now dividing his time between managing Kathy’s property business and working for James and the arrangements were working so well that there was even a suggestion that the three might set up a joint company. But that was for the future.

‘Oh, no, Kathy’s back again,’ James said. ‘She said she was bringing Ted and Elsie for a quick guided tour this afternoon.’

‘Then off you go,’ Maggie ordered. ‘You’re not the only one with work to do.’ Her stomach lurched without warning.

‘It’s going to be fine.’

‘I know.’ She didn’t sound convinced.

‘Have I told you lately that …’

‘That you love me? Yes, I believe you told me that very thing this morning.’ The smile creeping across her face eased her nerves.

‘Ah, but did I tell you …’

‘That I’m the best mother our son could possibly hope for? Yes, I think you mentioned that too.’

‘Did I tell you that you’re the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met and that I’m going to enjoy spending the rest of my life with you?’

The smile on her face broke free. ‘Now that one I don’t think I’ve heard today.’

‘You’re going to be fine and, more importantly, so is our little man. Now I really do have to go because all of this sweet talk is putting the lads off their lunch.’

When Maggie ended the call, she turned her back on the ducks. The bench was less than ten feet away but she hadn’t been able to take her usual seat today and her plans for a picnic were in tatters. She was gripped by indecision. There was still an hour to kill and she briefly considered going back home. She could always carry on with the house-warming present she was making for Kathy. She had acquired another piece of wood from the house and James had carved it to match the one Maggie had already given her. Rather than ‘Home’ this one said ‘Heart’ and she was adding four names to it. Flo, Anne, Elsa and Tess.

When Harvey began nuzzling her hand in gentle encouragement, Maggie still didn’t move, and following Harvey’s example, Aiden began to grumble. They were both getting hungry but she couldn’t face the thought of returning home. Not yet.

‘The ducks are behind you.’

Maggie couldn’t be sure if Lorna was joking or not and she was in no mood to care. ‘What colour have they painted it?’ she asked.

‘The bench? It’s a sort of burgundy.’ There was a question in her answer: Lorna was clearly confused by Maggie’s interest in colours.

Maggie could smell wet paint but her imagination bloomed with scents of bergamot and cranberries.

‘Can I have some bread? I want some bread!’ Josh was already pulling at the plastic bag in Maggie’s hand.

‘Say please,’ Lorna told her son.

‘Please,’ Josh recited.

‘Of course you can.’

The child grabbed the bag and the first handful of bread sent the ducks into a frenzy. Harvey began to whine.

‘Don’t go too near the water’s edge, Josh,’ Maggie warned. ‘Remember what happened last time.’

‘Oh he’s fallen in loads of times since then. I swear that child has no sense of danger.’ Lorna took a few steps away from the lake to avoid the splashes and, grabbing Maggie’s arm, pulled her away too.

Maggie almost stumbled. ‘It’s fine, Lorna, I can find my own way.’ She deliberately stepped back and wrapped her hands around the handles of the pushchair. She could hear the water spray hitting the pram and while Aiden was more than happy to get soaked to the skin, she moved him away from the splash zone.