Without a Mother's Love (32 page)

‘He’s had these turns ever since he came back from the West Indies. Not as bad as this until just recent, though, sir.’ The lad rinsed his cloth in the bowl.

Jared hated Hesley, but would not have wished this on him - not even on his worst enemy. He wondered again what Olivia had had to endure in this house and his anxiety deepened. Had Hesley harmed her? But Hesley was in no fit state to answer any of Jared’s questions and he had to be content with what the servants could tell him. They were of no help. He had to find her soon! He hoped he would not be too late when he did.

 

‘I told you, sister, I found her on the towpath.’

‘She is educated, Toby, and from a good home. Someone must be searching for her. Has she said anything to you?’

‘Only that her name is Livvy Smith and she has no family. Give her more time.’

‘She has been with us for almost a month, dearest,’ Anna pointed out.

‘And you are sure you are happy for her to stay?’

‘If she wants to. She will be useful in the house. I am not as young as I used to be.’

‘Your mission manages quite well without you. It is right for you to spend more time with me.’ Tobias smiled fondly at his sister.

‘God has provided, as He always does. But I have been away for a month already this year. I shall return soon.’

Olivia listened through the open scullery door as she washed the pots after tea. They were chapelgoers, they said, and had a following in the village. That was the only danger, she thought. The colliers and their families gathered in the barn on Sundays.

She told them she was church and asked if they minded. They were good people, she judged. They gave her a Bible to read in her chamber on the Sabbath. She retreated there, staying away from the barn. There were other books in the house, too. She might be content here, she thought. When they offered her a position, she accepted without misgiving. She felt safe with them and had found employment.

Livvy Smith became housekeeper to Tobias and Anna Holmes. She covered her gown with a large jute apron and made a plain calico bonnet with a forward brim that shielded her face and hid her abundant fair hair. Anna gave her a shawl, which she knotted around her shoulders on cold days. When she caught sight of herself in a darkened window she thought she looked like a slighter version of Mrs Cookson.

At first their kindness made her weep. She relived her recent traumas every night but the rough, heavy work helped her to sleep and overcome them. It would take time and she was determined to go forward with her life. She became a hardworking housekeeper for her benefactors. She filled her days with cleaning, cooking, washing and ironing. In fine weather she dug the garden. Tobias brought seed potatoes from town and she discovered overgrown gooseberry bushes and lavender in the neglected garden.

In the evenings, they read by the fire. When the Holmeses had mission meetings in their house, Livvy took her book to her chamber and read until the candle guttered. She was not happy. She did not know how to be happy, she thought. But she was content. She was employed as their servant yet they treated her as an equal. Before long she was calling them Toby and Anna and she was Livvy. She became a different woman, a new woman with a new life. The past was gone. Only the future mattered now.

‘Won’t you come with us to town today, Livvy?
^’
Anna asked one morning. ‘Toby is taking the trap.’

‘There is plenty of work for me to do here.’

‘But you would enjoy the company of the other ladies at our meeting.’

‘Perhaps next time.’

‘Very well.’ Anna turned to address her brother. ‘While we are in town will you purchase more writing supplies for the Sunday school?’

Livvy stacked the breakfast bowls on a wooden tray as brother and sister talked of their needs for the Mexton villagers. She felt secure in their home and was willing to be their housekeeper, if it allowed them more time for their mission work.

They did not press her for details of her past, or insist that she accompany them to their meetings. They were tolerant of her need for privacy, and she thanked the Lord every day for her good fortune in meeting Toby on the towpath. She shuddered when she thought of what she might otherwise have become.

She enjoyed her solitude when Anna and Toby went into town. There was much support for the chapel among the tradesmen and artisans who relied on coal for their livelihoods and who saw the toll it took on families who mined it. They had regular meetings of mission leaders from the surrounding villages while their ladies planned ways to raise funds and organized their clothing exchange. At Livvy’s request, Anna had brought her hard-wearing, coarse-textured servants’ garb for every day and she repaired and pressed her old day gown to keep it for Sunday best.

When they returned, Anna came in first and went upstairs to remove her cloak and bonnet, leaving her brother to take off his coat and shake it out in the scullery. Livvy was sitting by the window with her book. ‘Leave it in there,’ she called. ‘I’ll brush it for you later.’

He walked into the kitchen.A stew of butcher’s meat, vegetables and barley was simmering over the fire, and the scrubbed wooden table was laid for the three of them. Newly baked bread still warm from the oven was cooling by the hearth.

He surveyed the scene and thought how comfortable Livvy looked, how well she fitted in with their life and how skilled she was as a housekeeper. ‘Our minister was there and very excited that the new act will soon become law. He has our application for chapel registration with York already. Any day now he expects to hear from them that he will be able to solemnize marriages in our chapel.’

Livvy closed her book and stood up, smiling. ‘You have had a good meeting?’

‘Yes, all our leaders were there. Tell Livvy about your ladies’ gathering, Anna.’

Anna did, and added at the end, ‘They talked of a gentleman making enquiries about a lady. He had visited them before, they said, looking for - for a relative, I suppose. Her pony and trap were found abandoned at the crossroads out of town and he is worried for her safety.’

‘Oh! Did he say who he was?’

‘He did not give his name. But he seemed anxious to locate her.’

‘His daughter, perhaps?’

Anna shook his head. ‘He said the lady was of age. He was only a little older than that himself. Her brother or husband, they thought. He was well-to-do and they felt sorry for him.’

‘I should be concerned if Anna had disappeared like that,’ Toby commented.

‘Are there people who might care for your safety, my dear?’ Anna asked Livvy casually.

‘I’m afraid not. I wish it were so,’ she replied honestly. But she feared Hesley was trying to track her. He would haul her back to Hill Top House to avoid a scandal. She did not want him to find her and fretted for several days about this news.

It hardened her resolve to stay out of the town. No one took any notice of her out here, in her dowdy work dress and the plain bonnet that hid her long, light hair.They would never dream she was the lady for whom he was looking.

She was no longer a lady and she was content. She was an ordinary working woman who enjoyed the toil and satisfaction of helping those less fortunate than herself. She had found a real home with a brother and sister who felt the same.

Anna waited until Livvy had retired to her chamber before broaching the subject again. ‘But, Toby, my dearest, what are you thinking of? You know nothing about her.’

‘I know that she is educated and well-bred. Her character and manner tell me that. She is fleeing from something or more likely some
one
. A tyrannical father or unwanted suitor, perhaps.’

‘Then you must try to return her.’

‘For her to flee again and risk falling into the worst kind of company? I tell you, sister, she had no idea of the danger she was in, out on the towpath all alone. She is educated, yes, but innocent in the ways of the wider world. I am sure she had not considered what might happen to her. Besides, she says she is of age. She is free to do as she wishes.’

‘Unless she has a husband.’

‘There is no wedding band.’

‘No. I noticed that too. But I fancy there is a faint mark where she might have worn one.’

‘I looked also, but could not detect a trace.’

‘Even so, we know nothing about her.’

‘Anna, you shock me! When have we questioned God’s work? Do we not teach that all have sinned and all can be saved?’

‘Dearest brother, you have brought her into your home, into your life.’ Anna gazed at her younger brother. She had not seen him so enamoured of a task as this one. His mission to save this woman was as intense as any he had ever tackled. ‘She is more to you than just a wayward soul to be saved, isn’t she?’

‘She stirs a passion in me that has been dormant for too long. It has been there from the moment I set eyes on her when I rode by that morning. I thought about her all day, and when she was still there on the towpath on my return, I knew it was God’s will that she had waited for me and that I should bring her here.’

‘And so you have.’

‘Anna, dearest, I have determined to give my life to the service of our chapel, as you have. As our parents wished us to. I had made a decision not to seek a wife, but I believe that God has sent Livvy to me for this purpose.’

‘Had you not thought of Harriet in the same way?’

‘Why, no! She is as a sister to me. I believe I could love Livvy as a wife.’

‘Do take care, Toby. There is unhappiness in Livvy’s eyes. It is in her heart and, I suspect, her soul.’

‘She will unburden herself to me in time. I shall not press her, so please do not ask me to. She is an adult, and if she has a past she will not be the only one—’ He stopped. ‘I’m sorry, Anna. I did not mean to hurt you with those words.’

‘Toby, my past is gone for good. If Livvy has endured anything like I have, she will be happy to turn away from it. But it may come back to haunt her. You should be prepared for that, my dear.’

‘Of course.’ He hugged his sister. ‘You have come through, have you not?’

‘Indeed I have. My faith has been my support. And I should return to my own mission. I have left Harriet for too long to cope on her own.’ Anna paused.

‘But she is more than capable.’

‘The work increases every year. More mines and factories in the Riding mean more poor souls are forced from the country-side into the smoke-ridden towns. Many cannot make the adjustment. There is much to be done.’

‘You will stay with me until I have settled Livvy’s future?’

‘As long as you make haste.’

Chapter 24

^‘
Livvy.
^’
Toby held out his hand. ‘Come and sit with me by the fire.’

She looked up from the book she was reading by the window.

‘Come, my dear. I wish to talk to you,’ he added gently.

She put down her book and moved to sit on a chair opposite him. She thought he was quite a handsome man, although his face was lined and his hair was quite grey at the temples. She wondered what he had in mind for her.

‘Are you settled with us here?’

‘Why, yes. I am surprised you ask.’

‘Have you thought about your future?’

She caught her breath.Was he going to ask her to move on? She did not want to leave. She dared not. It would mean working in another mission, perhaps nearer the town where she would be recognized. ‘I am content here with you and Anna,’ she answered truthfully.

She saw a light come into his eyes. ‘Are you? Are you truly happy here?’

Livvy hesitated. The household was not a comfortable one. Indeed, her life was frugal compared with Hill Top House and her daily routine was tiring. But she was valued here, and her wishes were considered to be as important as theirs. She worked diligently because she wanted to, not because she felt she had to do their bidding. This was a wealthy house, yet the wealth was not measured in money but in something much more valuable, and she marvelled that she had settled so quickly.

True happiness, though, was something she had known briefly with Jared. It pained her to recall those stolen moments with him because they would never be repeated. No, happiness was something she could not have. Nor did she seek it. Not any longer. It was not for her. But she had no wish to upset her friends and answered, ‘Yes, I am.’

‘Have you thought about your future, my dear?’Toby pressed.

‘Are you going to send me away?’ she asked tentatively.

‘Do you want to leave?’

‘No, but if it is your wish, I shall go.’ She suspected that Anna would like her to work in her mission on the other side of the Riding. She did not say much about it and Livvy respected her silence, as they respected hers.

‘And if it is my wish that you stay?’

‘I shall stay and continue to work here.’

‘Anna must return to her own mission soon.’

‘Then you will have more need of me here.’

He smiled at her. ‘Yes, indeed. However, we should consider your reputation if you stay here when Anna leaves.’

Livvy would have laughed if she had not thought it would cause him offence.What reputation had she? Toby did not know who she was or where she came from.

‘I am your housekeeper, yours and Anna’s. Can that not continue when she leaves?’

‘Your young age and my unmarried status would set tongues wagging.’

She blushed. Such matters had never been discussed in this kitchen.

‘Oh, but anyone who knows you would not imagine that you would ever—’ She stopped, and there was an embarrassed silence. Of course, everyone knew what a fine man of integrity Tobias Holmes was. But they did not know about her. She guessed that they thought of her as a rescued street woman who was grateful for a home.They would think that she might slip back into her old ways, given half a chance.