You Know You Love Me (8 page)

It was a sunny October day in Central Park. Out in Sheep Meadow lots of kids were cutting
school, just lying in the grass, smoking, or playing Frisbee. The trees surrounding the
meadow were a blaze of yellows, oranges, and reds, and beyond the trees loomed the
beautiful old apartment buildings on Central Park West. A guy was selling weed, and
Anthony Avuldsen bought some to add to what Nate had picked up at the pizza place
yesterday at lunch. Nate, Jeremy, Anthony, and Charlie Dern passed an enormous joint
between them as they dribbled a soccer ball around on the grass.

Charlie puffed on the joint and passed it to Jeremy. Nate shot him the ball and Charlie
tripped over it. He was six feet tall, and his head was too big for his body. People
called him Frankenstein. Ever the blond athletic one, even when he was stoned, Anthony
dove for the ball, kicked it up in the air and headed it at Jeremy. It hit Jeremy in his
puny chest and he let it roll to the ground, dribbling it between his feet.

Shit, this stuff is strong, Jeremy said, hitching up his pants. They were always sliding
down below his skinny hips, no matter how tightly he buckled his belt. Yeah, it is, Nate
agreed. Im all fucked up. His feet were itchy. It felt like the grass was growing through
the rubber soles of his sneakers.

Jeremy stopped dribbling the ball. Hey, Nate. Have you seen Serena van der Woodsen yet? he
asked. I heard shes back. Nate looked at the ball longingly, wishing he had it so he could
dribble it away across the field and pretend he hadnt heard Jeremys question. He could
feel the other three boys staring at him. He bent down and pulled his left shoe off so he
could scratch the bottom of his foot. Damn, it itched. Yeah, I saw her Monday, he said
casually, hopping up and down on one foot.

Charlie cleared his throat and spit in the grass. Whatd she look like? he asked. I heard
she got into all sorts of trouble up at Hanover. Me too, Anthony said, sucking on the
roach. I heard she got kicked out for having sex with this whole group of guys in her
room. Her roommate ratted her out. He laughed. Like, couldnt she afford a hotel room?

Charlie laughed. I heard she has a kid. Im serious. She had it in France and left it
there. Her parents are paying to have it raised in some fancy French convent. Its like a
fucking movie, man. Nate couldnt believe what he was hearing. He dropped his shoe and sat
down in the grass. Then he took off his other shoe and pulled off both of his socks. He
didnt say anything, he just sat there, scratching his bare feet.

Can you imagine Serena with all these guys in her dorm room? Like, Ooh, baby. Harder,
harder! Jeremy fell down on the grass, rubbing his skinny belly and cackling hysterically.
Oh, man! Wonder if she even knows who the daddy is, Anthony said.

I heard there was a pretty major drug thing going on, too, Charlie said. She was dealing
and got addicted to whatever it was. She was in rehab in Switzerland all summer. After the
baby was born, I guess.

Whoa, that is fucked up, Jeremy said.

You and her had a thing, didnt you, Nate? Charlie said. Whered you hear that? Nate asked,
frowning. Charlie shook his head and smiled. I dont know, man. Around. Whats the problem?
Shes hot.

Yeah, well, Ive had hotter, Nate said, and immediately regretted it. What was he talking
about? Yeah, Blairs pretty hot too, I guess, Charlie said. I bet she gets pretty crazy in
bed, Jeremy agreed.

Dudes tired just thinking about it! Anthony said, pointing at Nate and cackling. Nate
laughed and shook his head, trying to shake their words out of his ears. He lay back in
the grass and stared at the empty blue sky. If he tilted his head all the way back, he
could just see the rooftops of the penthouses along Fifth Avenue, Serenas and Blairs
included. Nate let his chin fall so all he could see was blue sky again. He was too baked
to deal with any of this. He tuned his friends out and tried to clear his mind completely,
his head as empty and blue as the sky. But he couldnt get the images of Serena and Blair
out of his minds eye, floating naked above his head. You know you love me, they were
saying. Nate smiled and closed his eyes.

Disclaimer: All the real names of places, people, and events have been altered or
abbreviated to protect the innocent. Namely, me. hey people! I know it hasnt been long.
But I cant resist writing more about N. My new favorite topic. He is so stunningly
beautiful, after all. Even if he is kind of lacking in the balls department.

STONED IN CENTRAL PARK

Actually, my new favorite topic is the Waspoidthe elite version of the wasteoid, or stoner
boy. Unlike the average stoner wasteoid, the Waspoid isnt into metal or online dungeon
games or skateboarding or eating vegan. He gets cute haircuts and has good skin. He smells
nice, he wears the cashmere sweaters his girlfriend buys for him, he gets decent grades,
and hes sweet to his mom. He sails and plays soccer. He knows how to tie a necktie. He
knows how to dance. Hes sexy! But the Waspoid never fully invests himself in anything or
anyone. He isnt a go-getter and he never says whats on his mind. He doesnt take risks,
which is what makes it so risky to fall in love with him.

You might have noticed that Im just the oppositeI never know when to shut up! And I
seriously believe that opposites attract. I have to confess, Im becoming a Waspoid
groupie. Apparently Im not the only one.

Your E-mail

Dear Gossip Girl,i hooked up majorly with N on a blanket in central park. at least, i
think its the same N . hes all freckley, right? does he smell like suntan lotion and
weed?blanketbaby

Dear blanketbaby, Hmmm. I bet he does. GG

Sightings B buying condoms at Zitomer Pharmacy. Lifestyles Extra-Long Super-Ribbed! What I
want to know is how she knew what size to get. I guess theyve done everything but.
Afterwards, B made a beeline (no pun intended!) to the J. Sisters salon for her first
Brazilian bikini wax. Ouch. But believe me, its worth it. Also caught S at the post
office, mailing a big package. Barneys baby clothes for her little French tot, maybe?
Caught I and K in the 3 Guys Coffee Shop, eating fries and hot cocoa again. Theyd just
returned those cute little dresses they bought at Bendels the other dayoh dear, are they
getting too fat?and were discussing other options for what to wear to the Kiss on the Lips
party. Too bad its not a toga party. Vocab Since so many of you have been asking, Im going
to answer the big question thats been baffling you since you found out about the party for
the peregrine falcons. Okay. According to my handy unabridged dictionary: Falcon, n. 1.
any of several birds of prey of the family Falconidae, esp. of the genus Falco, usually
distinguished by long, pointed wings, a hooked beak with a tooth-like notch on each side
of the upper bill, and swift agile flight, typically diving to seize prey: some falcon
species are close to extinction. Peregrine falcon, a globally distributed falcon, Falco
perigrinus, much used in falconry because of its swift flight. Im sure I had you on the
edge of your seat about that one. But Im just trying to keep you in the knowthats my job.
See you in the park! You know you love me,

Well, its wonderful to have you back, dear, Ms. Glos, Constances college advisor, told
Serena. She picked her glasses up from where they were hanging around her neck on a gold
chain and slid them onto her nose so she could examine Serenas schedule, which was lying
on her desk. Lets see, now. Mmmm. Yes. Right, she muttered, reading the schedule over.

Serena sat in front of Ms. Glos, with her legs crossed, waiting patiently. There were no
diplomas on Ms. Gloss wall, no evidence of any accreditations at all, just pictures of her
grandchildren. Serena

wondered if Ms. Glos had even gone to college. You would have thought that if she were
going to dish out advice on the subject, she could have at least tried it. Ms. Glos
cleared her throat. Yes, well, your schedule is perfectly acceptable. Not stellar, mind
you, but adequate. I imagine youre making up for it with extracurriculars, yes? Serena
shrugged her shoulders. If you can call drinking Pernod and dancing naked on a beach in
Cannes an extracurricular. Not really, she said. I mean, Im not actually signed up for any
extracurriculars at the moment. Ms. Glos let her glasses drop. Her nostrils were turning
very red and Serena wondered if she was about to have a bloody nose. Ms. Glos was famous
for her bloody noses. Her skin was very pale, with a yellowish tinge. All the girls
thought she had some terrible contagious disease. No extracurriculars? But what are you
doing to improve yourself? Serena gave Ms. Glos a polite, blank look. Who said she needed
improving? I see. Well, well have to get you involved in something, wont we? Ms. Glos
said. Im afraid the colleges arent going to even look at you without any extracurriculars.
She bent over and pulled a big looseleaf binder out of a drawer in her desk and began
flipping through pages and pages of flyers printed on colored paper. Heres something that
starts this week. Feng Shui Flowers, the Art of Floral Design. She looked up at Serena,
who was frowning doubtfully. No, youre right. Thats not going to get you into Harvard, is
it? Ms. Glos said with a little laugh. She pushed up the sleeves of her blouse and frowned
at the binder as she flipped briskly through the pages. She wasnt about to give up after
only one try. She was very good at her job. Serena gnawed on her thumbnail. She hadnt
thought about this. That colleges would actually need her to be anything more than she
already was. And she definitely wanted to go to college. A good one. Her parents certainly
expected her to go to one of the best schools. Not that they put any pressure on herbut it
went without saying. And the more Serena thought about it, the more she realized she
really didnt have anything going for her. Shed been kicked out of boarding school, her
grades had fallen, she had no idea what was going on in any of her classes, and she had no
hobbies or cool after-school activities. Her SAT scores sucked because her mind always
wandered during those stupid fill-in-the- bubble tests. And when she took them again, they
would probably suck even worse. Basically, she was screwed.

What about drama? Your English grades are quite good, you must like drama, Ms. Glos
suggested. Theyve only been rehearsing this one for a little over a week. Its the
Interschool Drama Club doing a modern version of Gone With the Wind. She looked up again.
How bout it?

Serena jiggled her foot up and down and chewed on her pinky nail. She tried to imagine
herself alone on stage playing Scarlett OHara. She would have to cry on cue, and pretend
to faint, and wear huge dresses with corsets and hoop skirts. Maybe even a wig.

Ill never go hungry again! shed cry dramatically, in her best Southern-belle voice. It
might be kind of fun. Serena took the flyer from Ms. Gloss hand, careful not to touch the
paper where Ms. Glos had touched it.

Sure, why not? she said. It sounds like fun.

Serena left Ms. Gloss office as the final class of the day was getting out. Gone With the
Wind rehearsal was in the auditorium, but it didnt begin until six so that the students
who did sports right after school could still be in the play. Serena walked up Constances
wide central stairwell to the fourth floor to retrieve her coat from her locker and see if
anyone wanted to hang out until six. All around her, girls were flying past, a blur of
end-of-the-day energy, rushing to their next meeting, practice, rehearsal, or club. Out of
habit, they paused for half a second to say hello to Serena, because ever since they could
remember, to be seen talking to Serena van der Woodsen was to be seen.

Hey Serena, Laura Salmon yelled before diving down the stairs for Glee Club in the
basement music room. Later, Serena, Rain Hoffstetter said, as she slipped past in her gym
shorts, heading for soccer practice.

See you tomorrow, Serena, Lily Reed said softly, blushing because she was wearing her
riding breeches, which always embarrassed her. Bye, Carmen Fortier said, chewing gum in
her leather jacket and jeans. She was one of the few scholarship girls in the junior class
and lived in the Bronx. She claimed she couldnt wear her uniform home or shed get beaten
up. Carmen was headed to the Art of Floral Design Club, although she always lied to her
friends in her neighborhood and said she took karate.

Suddenly the hallway was empty. Serena opened her locker, pulled her Burberry coat off the
hook, and put it on. Then she slammed her locker shut and trotted downstairs and out the
school doors, turning left down Ninety-third Street toward Central Park.

There was a box of orange Tic Tacs in her pocket with only one Tic

Tac left. Serena fished the Tic Tac out and put it on her tongue, but she was so worried
about her future, she could barely taste it. She crossed Fifth Avenue, walking along the
sidewalk that bordered the park. Fallen leaves scattered the pavement. Down the block, two
little Sacred Heart girls in their cute red-and-white checked pinafores were walking an
enormous black Rottweiler. Serena thought about entering the park at Eighty-ninth Street
and sitting down for a while to kill time before the play rehearsal. But alone? What would
she do, people-watch? She had always been one of those people everyone else watches.

So she went home.

Home was 994 Fifth Avenue, a ritzy, white-glove building next to the Stanhope Hotel and
directly across the street from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The van der Woodsens owned
half of the top floor. Their apartment had fourteen rooms, including five bedrooms with
private bathrooms, a maids apartment, a ballroom-sized living room, and two seriously cool
lounges with wet bars and huge entertainment systems.

When Serena got home the enormous apartment was empty. Her parents were rarely home. Her
father ran the same Dutch shipping firm his great-great-grandfather had founded in the
1700s. Both her parents were on the boards of all the big charities and arts organizations
in the city and always had meetings or lunches or fundraisers to go to. Deidre, the maid,
was out shopping, but the place was spotless and there were vases of fresh cut flowers in
every room, including the bathrooms.