ZOMBIES!!! The Best Weapons for Obliterating Zombies in the Apocalypse (4 page)

However, smaller or weaker fighters may lack the strength to maneuver this weapon with much effectiveness when compared to lighter blades. The long sword is usually twice the weight of the katana. Use of the long sword is a fairly athletic pursuit, and the less-athletic fighter may tire easily when using it unless they have trained rigorously with the weapon.  Another of the main cons of this sword is that there are few who still use the weapon and know how to use it, so there would be very few people the user could study with to learn how to master the weapon. Trial and error would have to be implemented to discover what worked best. Another disadvantage of the long sword is that absolute precision must be used to prevent the user from injuring themselves or becoming contaminated with zombie blood if they cut themselves on the sword. The weight and length of the blade would make this problem extremely pressing in the hands of the untutored. It does require a bit of maintenance. Particularly, constant cleaning and sharpening are important.

Because it was used in medieval Europe, there are generally few well-made copies outside museum originals state-side. European zombie hunters might have better luck snagging a copy of this excellent weapon during the apocalypse than U.S. hunters.

The short sword is the most manageable sword the average user is likely to come across. Much longer than any knife or dagger, but without the weight of a long sword, this is a good middle of the road sword for zombie killing. It especially excels when fighting in cramped, rather than outdoor, spaces. It travels excellently, and it is easier to carry and conceal than a long sword. Like most blades, trouble removing the blade from a crushed skull can be a problem, but these swords are much easier to pull out than knives and daggers; their larger heft and size make this less likely to happen. Some excellent historical examples of the short sword include: the Roman Gladius and Spartan Xiphos. The age of these models leaves something to be desired, and their choices of metals are also inferior to more contemporary models. If you want one, you'll have to get a high quality titanium-based replica. The titanium reduces the weight, and also gives the blade almost indefinite durability. Other contemporary versions contain a lead core and give it enough weight to easily crush a head. This extra weight also allows the removal from a skull to be less problematic.

Sabers and scimitars are short swords with a curve either throughout the blade or on one end only. The scimitar (or talwar) was historically used in Persia and the Middle East. The blade is curved up at the tip, and the tip is often twice as wide as the rest of the body of the sword. This makes the sword a bit top heavy in use. However, this also increases the heft and velocity when slicing into a jaw or neck, giving a cleaner and deeper cut over other curved short swords. The blade itself is sharp enough to attempt decapitation, as long as you have enough force behind it. The handle is heavy enough to crush a skull if used effectively. Some historical models have a metal loop over the handle and this protects the hands when fighting. Generally, pre-19
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century versions (or good contemporary replicas) are preferred over later 19th century models (arsenal tulwars). These tend to be inferior in quality, and they are less useful for fighting the undead.

Sabers have a rich American military history. They were used historically by both officers and members of the cavalry. Because the cavalry had to fight from horseback, they needed a sword that would reach the infantrymen lower down on the battlefield. The saber, with its long, curved blade, fit the bill excellently. Sabers are fairly long and only one side of the blade is sharp. While they are good at slashing and stabbing maneuvers, they are ineffective at head crushing or decapitating a rotting mass of zombie lurching towards you. What sabers excel at is dismemberment. This can certainly aid in halting a zombie, even if you can't effectively kill it.  If someone trained seriously on the saber, and had a good deal of strength behind their blows, they might be able to partially, if not completely, decapitate a zombie. However, this would be a rare instance. It has an excellent looped metal hand guard to protect from biting zombie teeth and to protect your hands from injury. The swords have kept up well through the years. Even a model with two or three hundred years on it can make an effective weapon with a little TLC. You can also get some more contemporary models through the military.

Rapiers are a light-weight sword with a long, toothpick-like blade. Their art and precision is well known. However, what worked well on the living, (a simple jab to heart was enough for someone to bleed to death), does not work well on the dead. This type of fighting was highly ritualized, and its effectiveness was in having a partner who was also similarly equipped. They came into fashion after the advent of cannons and hand-held muskets made plate armor and chain mail obsolete. While a highly civilized weapon, it was never intended to damage the skull or brains. It is useless against zombies and should be avoided at all costs. You are better off wrenching a heavy table leg off a dining room table and using that then ever using a rapier. Even against the living, it is ill advised. With weapons like bows or guns making this kind of stylized fighting obsolete, there is no real use for this weapon outside safe and civilized sport at your armored compound Rec room. If you do have nothing to use but a rapier, your best bet is to go for the eyes. Once speared in the eye socket, the blade must be moved around in the skull cavity, essentially lobotomizing the zombie.

Katanas come in a variety of lengths. They were originally developed for use by the Samurai in feudal Japan. They were often paired with a short, ceremonial sword called a wakizashi. The few katanas still around are in museums or private collections. It is unfortunate because for many the katana is the ultimate weapon for fighting zombies. Exceedingly sharp, it was designed to cut the light-weight armor soldiers wore in feudal Japan. Because of the exceedingly fine and sharp blade, this sword could easily decapitate a zombie. Some katanas were so sharp that they claimed to have the ability to slice through one, two, and six bodies easily for the user. Generally, sword smiths placed low-carbon and high-carbon steel together in one blade, giving it strength and flexibility. The top half of the sword is much sharper than the bottom half, so users should slice at a zombie's neck with the top half.

It's an impressive piece of weaponry, but there is some skill in using it. Only one side of the sword is sharp. Unskilled users should make sure to use the sharp side when attacking a zombie. Because it's so sharp, there is a real danger of seriously injuring yourself while using it. Extreme caution should be used whenever using a blade with such surgical sharpness. Another problem with this sword is that the contemporary models are mass-produced in China and have little of the originals' sharpness or durability. If you can't find an original antique or museum model, then the contemporary cheaper knockoffs are no substitute. Antique katanas are extremely rare and fairly pricey, so the chance of you being able to use one of these beautiful swords during the apocalypse is very slight. If you do end up with one of these amazing weapons, keep in mind that cleaning it soon after killing is very important to prevent blade degradation.

The wakizashi, the shorter sword paired with the katana, was mainly used for ceremonial reasons. It looks like a miniature katana, but would have been allowed to be worn in buildings where a katana was not. The manufacture of the two is not the same, and the quality of most wakizashi is far inferior to most katanas of the time period. This was also the sword a Samurai would use to commit seppuku, or honorable suicide. Before committing seppuku, a Samurai would write a death poem, usually a haiku, and then disembowel himself in front of an audience. This can be an effective shorter sword to use against the undead if you can get your hands on one. The lessened weight and length means that you will have to expend much more physical energy using it to get a similar result, so you should plan accordingly.

The nodachi is similar to the Scottish Claymore but is heavier and much harder to use. Its cumbersome size and weight make it an ill-conceived weapon for most zombie killers. Its rarity also makes it an unlikely choice. If this is your own weapon, which is a rare possibility stateside, then it can be a good, albeit cumbersome, zombie splitter. Like the katana, it is sharpened only on one side. The weight and sharpness make this able to do some considerable damage when used, but it is just that same weight that makes it a fairly poor option as well.

A heavy, sturdy knife like a machete is a good possible choice for zombie killing because they are designed for clearing dense brush, and it is less likely to break than most blades. They are generally not particularly sharp, and you will need to work a zombie head over more than once to get it to come off. This is related to its one-handed verses two-handed design. Again, getting this type of weapon lodged in a zombie head is a real possibility. If using one, go for the neck. A few well-placed chops to the neck won't kill the zombie, but it might paralyze it. Constant sharpening is a must for this type of weapon.