Read ZOMBIES!!! The Best Weapons for Obliterating Zombies in the Apocalypse Online
Authors: Zombie Slayer
Tags: #Zombies
ZOMBIES!!! The Best Weapons for Obliterating Zombies in the Apocalypse (8 page)
A poleaxe is a smaller, double-bladed axe with two axe-like heads. The first head is a fluting, metal axe head, and the second axe-like head is much smaller and thinner than the other and tapers off into a point. It is similar-looking to the halberd, but it does not have the long hook, the shaft is shorter, and the design is less elaborate. The shaft of the handle is fairly long (4-8 feet), and its purpose in medieval Europe would have been similar to a mace or flail. They can be an excellent weapon for the undead as they were designed to crack and puncture heads in protective gear. However, the few in existence would be in museums. Like the flail, they require a great deal of training and can be inconsistently durable in battle. They are an interesting historical weapon, but not much use for zombies.
The halberd is truly an awesome weapon and has a rich history. It has a long handle affixed to an axe-like head with a curve to it. A sharp metal spike shoots up from the axe head. On the other side of the axe head, a stylized, hook-like blade sits. It could be used in hand-to-hand combat to hook onto the opponent's helmet or shield. It could pull them closer to you, (putting them off guard), before stabbing them with the spike or axe-shaped blade. They also were used to de-horse cavalry members by grabbing onto them and pulling them down. However, many of the assumptions that made the halberd an effective weapon on the living may make it less advantageous on the undead. Not all users may want to hook the zombie any closer than needed. Hooks may accidentally pull a zombie closer when the user least expects it if they are not an expert user. While its weight and other features (like occasional spikes) make it capable of head crushing, and its sharp head could cut though a zombie neck, it is still extremely long, and it has the same failings as a spear. Once the zombie has gotten extremely close, it ceases to be useful in such close quarters. There is also quite a bit of skill level to use this weapon effectively. This is not a weapon to use indoors or in a forest where open space may be sparse or uneven.
Other versions of the halberd, like the naginata, guandao, glaive, and war scythe, are all similar and they all carry similar strengths and weakness to the halberd: long handles with a spear head, good for outdoor use, but similarly scarce. The glaive is similar to a halberd in that it has an elaborate hook on one side of the blade. However, instead of an axe-head, it has a thick, curving sword blade. The naginata is similarly like a sword and spear combined (but without a hook), and it would have been able to cut through a head with ease. It does not differ similarly in looks from the yari. Both the glaive and the naginata are nearly as long as a spear (7 feet or less), and they have similar close combat issues if used. The naginata is unlikely to be found stateside. The guandao, which is like the claymore of the halberd world, has a shorter scythe-like blade and a less elaborate hook, and it could cut someone in twain. Its bulk, scarcity, and length make it an unwieldy option. The war scythe looks similar to the glaive or guandao, but it has no hook and is only a curved, thick blade on a staff. It was meant to be the weapon version of the common scythe, which was used to cut shocks of wheat in fields. It is less curved than a common agricultural scythe, however.
The monk's spade (or shaolin spade) also displays similar strengths and weaknesses to other pole blades. On one end, it has a wide, fluted, d-shaped metal spade, and on the other side, it has a half-moon of metal. It was meant be used both as a tool and a weapon. It could be used to dig in earth or to defend oneself from thieves. However, the weight balance is unwieldy, and it takes training to use. The spade part is heavily stylized now and would not be useful for digging if so required. It can be used effectively against the undead, and this weapon is supposed to be excellent for neck chopping and decapitation maneuvers. The chance of finding one of these in working order, however, is sparse.
Explosives and bombs are an entire class of weapons that may be of use to some during the zombie apocalypse. They can take out or damage a wide number of zombies quickly. However, user injury is a real problem for weapons of this type. Once the existing supply of explosives has run out, the user is left with the only option of making the weapons themselves. Not only does this involved tracking down the raw materials, it also involves dealing with volatile chemicals that are inherently unstable. There are plenty of uses for explosives if the user is an expert at making and detonating them. Rocket launchers, land mines, grenades, and napalm all have their uses on the undead. If the user decides to use explosives during the apocalypse, they must do some stocking up of explosives, or basic materials to make them, beforehand.
The Rocket Launcher is often shown in the media as a weapon capable of wiping out a large area (especially when a character is in a pinch). However, the reality is that these unwieldy weapons are expensive and imprecise, and this may make them a poor option. For one, this was not a weapon designed to decapitate but to damage soft tissue areas resulting in bleed-out in live victims. With zombies, unless you are trying to make an escape, anything that does not effectively target the head becomes fairly useless. A rocket launcher is a shameless waste of energy and time (not to mention materials), and the chances of actually destroying the zombies, rather than simply slowing them down, is slight. Its heavy weight lends to its unreliability in the field. Error levels can be fairly high, and insignificant factors (like weather) can influence its accuracy. One must also know how to maneuver the rocket before launching to ensure that a certain level of accuracy is reached. Accidents are common and injuries to the user can be substantial. Newer models help alleviate some of this. However, their extreme heft and price-tag make them an ill-advised choice. If you have one at your disposal, you should save it for the living or for a last-ditch getaway effort.
A hand grenade's effectiveness depends a great deal on the user and the user's upper body strength. If the user does not have the upper body strength to throw the grenade far enough away, the user will be injured. The grenade itself is designed for soft tissue damage and bleed-out, and because of this, it may not be the best weapon for zombies. They can be fairly effective in the hands of an expert or someone who is in a field where prior training with hand grenades was required. Of the types, fragmentation-based would be the only logical choice. Any smoke or gas-based grenades would useless on the undead. There is a rare chance of puncturing the skull with a fragmentation-based version, but the average user should not get their hopes up for that kind of outcome. My advice is to avoid grenades for almost all applications. If you can find a way to project the grenades, this may increase their usability. However, if no heads were damaged, all it will do is slow down the zombies for a few minutes.
Landmines are a small grenade-like explosive hidden in the ground where people may walk over it and set it off. They are often found in dirt roads or in fields of war-torn areas. They may be helpful for the undead. Large fields of landmines surrounding your armored compound can help alert you that zombies are in the vicinity. They can also partially dismember a zombie. However, there is significant risk to the user in using land mines. Unless one is extremely careful and keeps scrupulous records about where the unsuspecting landmines are hidden, one can end up with life threatening injuries when one steps on a landmine unaware. Unless the zombie is completely obliterated, the zombies who step on land mines are not destroyed and can pose their own set of problems. Zombies with one or many legs missing may look dead until one is close enough to their bodies to be bitten on the leg or hand when they come to life. Landmines are an impractical use of firepower. Since more than one may be needed to destroy a zombie, and since supplies with be scarce after the apocalypse, this is not an explosive that is advised for most users. If one decides to use these impractical weapons, one should erect a sign showing the location of the mines so that other folks will not end up missing a leg or two by accidentally walking over one.
The claymore is a type of landmine that detonates in a specific direction. It has projectiles (usually little metal balls) embedded in the weapon, and these fly out when it is detonated. The projectiles mainly do soft tissue damage and hasten bleed-out of victims. The projectiles are too small to do much damage to a skull, and the same problems with other types of landmines apply to claymore mines as well. They can be of some use if they are placed up high and detonated towards the ground. However, they must be remote detonated, and the user must be on site to detonate them at the right time. One might consider herding zombies towards a particular area and then detonating them towards the ground (aiming at the face and neck of the zombies). This may put the user in too close of contact with the zombies, however. Claymore mines can also backfire and cause injuries to the user. This is the type of weapon designed for a premeditated attack and not a heat of the moment option or last ditch effort. However, the claymore is easy to use; anyone can use them effectively with a little practice. They may be fairly scarce stateside as they were used by Chinese troops during the Korean War.