150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (38 page)

Answer: B. Really! After his head was tied to the tea kettle, his enemies filled it (the tea kettle, that is) with gun powder and blew it up. This tea kettle features prominently in
Ninja Wars
.

PRODUCERS
Raymond Chow and Leonard Ho (executive producers), Lam Chua (producer)

WRITERS
Jing Wong (script), Tsukasa Ho jo (original characters and comic book)

DIRECTOR
Jing Wong

STARS
Jackie Chan (
Ryu Saeba
), Chingmy Yau (
Saeko Nogami/Anna
), Joey Wang (
Kaori Makimura/Carrie
), Richard Norton (
Col. MacDonald
), Kumiko Goto (
Shizuko Imamura/Kyoko
), Michael Wong (
Hideyuki
Makimura
), and Gary Daniels (
MacDonald's henchman
)

Private detective Ryu Saeba (Chan), hired to track down a runaway heiress, ends up on a luxury liner, trapped between his jealous secretary/partner (Wang), the attractive heiress, a sexy gun-happy female cop (Yau), and a group of terrorists bent on capturing the ship and holding the passengers for ransom. And all the poor guy wants is a bite to eat, because he skipped breakfast!

Why It Sucks

City Hunter
was adapted from a Japanese comic book and animated series of the same name … and it shows. The actors do the kind of double-takes, gestures, and poses that you'd expect from, well, a comic book. Not to mention the fact that this “action” film has a musical production number halfway through. Be forewarned: If you don't know the comic book, the chaotic story is going to be mindblowingly confusing.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Picture Award goes to …
Producers Raymond Chow, Leonard Ho, and Lam Chua for making a movie with Jackie Chan where he doesn't do any of his signature physical comedy.

And the Worst Writing Award goes to …
Writer/director Jing Wong for not taking just a couple of minutes (that's
all
it would take!) to set up the characters for the uninitiated.

They Really Said It!

Ryo Saeba
: How do I get to the casino from here?

Hideyuki Makimura
: Take the elevator.

Ryo Saeba
: I mean by stealth.

Hideyuki Makimura
: Take the elevator and don't tell anyone.

Betcha Didn't Know

Jackie Chan has often named this film as one of his least favorites.

One of the characters from the Street Fighter II game was renamed E. Honde instead of E. Honda, because Jackie Chan was a spokesman for Mitsubishi Motors and any mention of competitor Honda had to be avoided.

Trivia Quiz

What star of this film is nicknamed “Dangerman”?

A: Jackie Chan

B: Richard Norton

C: Gary Daniels

D: Joey Wang

Answer: C. Gary Daniels is a world champion kickboxer who retired from the sport and turned to acting. He's appeared in more than forty-five films and TV series.

PRODUCER
Hsiao Yin Shen

WRITER
Hsin Wei

DIRECTOR
Yen-Ping Chu

STARS
Jimmy Wang Yu (
Lt. Don
), Brigitte Lin (
Lily
), Jackie Chan (
Sammy
), Gou Ling Feng (
Greased Lightning
), Sun Yueh (
Old Sun
), Ling Chang (
Emily
), and Adam Cheng (
Amazon Leader
)

When the Japanse capture the top Allied generals, including Abraham Lincoln, during the invasion of Arctic Canada at the height of World War II, it's up to a group of super-weird commandos to rescue them and defeat the Imperial Japanese Army, cannibal Amazons, and hopping vampires. In Luxembourg.

Why It Sucks

If you've ever wanted to find out what an acid trip might be like without actually dropping LSD, then you might want to watch this movie. To really get the effect, have a couple of drinks first. The plot makes no sense (I mean, Abraham Lincoln in World War II?), there's no story or character development, and even the action scenes are so far out you can't take any of them seriously. But it does have cannibal Amazons.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Continuity Award goes to …
Everyone invovled with the production of
Fantasy Mission Force
. The stunt doubles are matched so badly with the actors, and the filming is so inept, that they barely bothered to dress them in similar costumes.

And the Worst Self-Referential Supporting Role goes to …
Adam Cheng, who appears as a tuxedo-clad King of the Amazons. At the time this movie was made, he was winding down a successful singing career and transitioning into acting.

They Really Said It!

Lily
: The nice people always die first. Do I look like a nice person?

Betcha Didn't Know

Many VHS and DVD versions of this film give Jackie Chan top billing. He is, in fact, in the film for less than fifteen minutes and plays a small supporting role.

Jackie Chan wrote in his autobiography
I Am Jackie
that he did this movie as a favor to Jimmy Wang Yu. He didn't have anything good to say about it.

Trivia Quiz

What movie star is usually credited with jump-starting the kung fu movie craze that turned Hong Kong into an international film center?

A: Jackie Chan

B: Adam Cheng

C: Brigitte Lin

D: Jimmy Wang Yu

Answer: D. Jimmy Wang Yu starred in
The Chinese Boxer
, a hit for the Shaw Bros. and usually credited with starting the kung fu craze.

PRODUCERS
Peter M. Caballes and Dick Randall

WRITER
Cora Ridon Caballes

DIRECTOR
Eddie Nicart

STARS
Weng Weng (
Agent 00
) and Beth Sandoval (
Irma
)

When the odds of success appear insurmountable, the Phillipine Secret Agency (PSA) calls upon its smallest operative — Weng Weng, a dwarf code-named Agent 00 (Weng). But can even he rescue a kid-napped American scientist before the mysterious criminal mastermind Mister Giant forces the scientist to build him a deadly N-bomb? And, more importantly, will the swingin' Weng Weng nail his beautiful collegue, Irma (Sandoval).