150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (55 page)

PRODUCERS
Harry Alan Towers and Jaime Jesús Balcázar

WRITERS
Manfred Barthel (script and story), Peter Welbeck (dialogue, English version), and Jaime Jesús Balcázar (dialogue, Spanish version)

DIRECTOR
Jess Franco

STARS
Richard Greene (
Nayland Smith
), Christopher Lee (
Fu Manchu
), Howard Marion-Crawford (
Dr. Petrie
), and Tsai Chin (Lin Tang)

The immortal Dr. Fu Manchu (Lee) launches yet another nefarious scheme — this one involving a chemical weapon that will freeze the world's oceans solid — and only Sir Dennis Nayland Smith (Greene) can stop him. But will Sir Dennis save the audience from dying of boredom?

Why It Sucks

There's about twenty minutes worth of plot in this movie … and another hour of dull filler, not to mention stock footage grabbed from a couple of far better movies.

The only decent thing about it is Christopher Lee's Fu Manchu makeup and costumes. Franco was smart enough not to mess with something that worked, even if he couldn't pull off anything decent when it came to the new material.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Director Award goes to …
Jess Franco for not even bothering to add sound effects to the fight scenes in post-production. The lack of meaty thwacks or sound of bodies falling to the ground emphasize the fact that it's just a bunch of grown men swinging at thin air.

And the Worst Actress Award goes to …
Tsai Ching as Fu Manchu's daughter Lin Tang. The character's supposed to sexy, dammit! With Tsai's performance we get a sensuality-free portrayal of the character that could pass muster with the Family Research Council.

They Really Said It!

Lin Tang
: Even Nayland Smith cannot touch you now, father.

Fu Manchu
: I wish that he would try.

Betcha Didn't Know

Jess Franco has directed, produced, or written films under sixty-five different confirmed pseudonyms.

Jess Franco's two Fu Manchu films were the final serious movies to feature Sax Rohmer's creation.

Trivia Quiz

Who was Arthur Sarsfield Ward?

A: Fu Manchu's most dedicated adversary after Dennis Nayland Smith

B: The creator of Fu Manchu

C: The first actor to portray Fu Manchu on film

D: The first victim killed by Fu Manchu in the novel
The Trail of
Fu Manchu

Answer: B. Ward was a prolific British author who wrote under the name Sax Rohmer.

PRODUCER
Merle S. Gould

WRITER
Merle S. Gould

DIRECTOR
Merle S. Gould

STARS
Aldo Farnese (
Henry Krasker
), Scott Douglas (
Lt. Lewis
), and Laura Brock (
Renee Coliveil
)

When a young woman (Brock) is murdered by a stalker with a crossbow, Lt. Lewis of Homicide (Douglas) turns to unorthodox criminologist/psychic researcher/creepy science dweeb Henry Krasker (Farnese) for help in cracking the case. How will the Boy Wonder do it? With his radio set that picks up signals from the Afterlife, of course!

Why It Sucks

A rooming house full of bizarre possible suspects, an unusual detective, and a suitably twisted solution to the case …
The Dead
Talk Back
could have been a fun, quirky mystery film. But then it went in for bad acting, inept direction, shoddy camera-work, badly done lighting, and horrendous editing. Even a second draft on the script would have helped.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Script Award goes to …
Merle S. Gould for his attempts to infuse the film with a “hardboiled detective” that are so over-blown they ruin what could have been a cool murder scene.

And the You Made James Randi Cry Award goes to …
Merle S.

Gould for conceiving an experiment in otherworldly communication that involves a speaker, some wire, a wineglass, and a razor blade.

They Really Said It!

Renee
: Oh shut up, you potentate of righteousness.

Betcha Didn't Know

Although completed in 1957, this film wasn't seen by the public until 1993 when Sinister Cinema acquired the rights to distribute the film on home video from Headliner Productions.

Ghost Whisperer
, a popular television drama in which Jennifer Love Hewitt talks to dead people, employs real-world psychics as consultants.

Trivia Quiz

What was A ldo Farnese best known for?

A: Inventing television

B: Producing and hosting children's television programming

C: Investigating the death of Marilyn Monroe

D: Creating a real-life, highly successful paranormal research institute

Answer: B. During the 1960s, Farnese created, produced, and hosted children's programming that was broadcast in the Philadelphia and Boston areas.