A Life Plan Without You. (6 page)

Was that just an excuse so he could leave? He should be in the
pub on a Friday night with girls his own age. I scooted past him
and smiled, he smiled too and then put his hand on my bum as I
passed him, he’d copped a feel and wowsers the fireworks were
exploding in my head, yes…

“I have to change shoes and grab my cardi.”

“I’ll wait here for you, Michelle.” I placed my new dancing
shoes in my locker. Mum would blow a gasket if she knew how much I
had paid for these little beauties, so I'll keep them here a while.
I re-applied the lip-gloss and the geeky freaky teenager was back
and walking toward Sam, who held out his hand and grabbed my
cardi.

“Here let me get that.” He’d stopped talking to the others so
he could help me on with it. I could feel his warm breath on my
cheek, I could get used to this.

“Thanks Samuel.” Those he had been chatting to were also
leaving. Should I give him the opportunity to go if he wanted? He
held my hand as we went down the stairs…

“Please, after you Michelle.” He was smiling down at me, his
arm now wrapped around my shoulder. “This way isn’t it? You live
near college don’t you?”

“How exactly do you know where I live?” His arm slipped around
my waist.

“Jimmy, he walked home down the alley between your old school
and college, following behind you a few times and he passed your
street. I noticed he was watching you on a couple of occasions as I
waited for him by the fence. I’m at the university part time I’m
doing an apprenticeship in architecture.” Was he trying to change
the subject? No, he was still explaining. “I walk home with him
sometimes after my classes, have you never seen me?” My mouth
dropped open and as usual, I was, as Grandpa would say catching
flies. Yes, I had seen him and I’d seen Jimmy plenty of times, but
never together. Do I admit I thought he was waiting for Lana? Truth
and honesty in all things…

“Well sort of, but I thought you were waiting for Lana. She
teaches at the other school near mine. Jimmy, yes I have he is
always passing my house, his mate David lives in the next street.
I’ve seen you in a few places lately too, are they just a
coincidences Samuel? Look, you don’t have to walk me home. It’s
still light, and I am sure you have better things to do than walk
me home? I will be fine, I do it every week, as I’m quite a big
girl Samuel.” He looked at me and smiled.

“If you think I’m going back in there again and without you,
you’re so wrong Mi cielo. No I want to walk you home, if that’s
still all right? As to seeing you places, I go to uni, work and
walk Jimmy home. I’m quite a boring boy really, so no, just a
coincidence. Mi cielo!” I sky, so he speaks Italian?

“Così, si sa come parlare Italiano Samuel? No, I don’t mind,
but it seems you may be a little cold, do you need to keep warm?
Your arm seems to have slipped to my bum?” He had put his hand in
my jeans pocket, pulling me closer.

“Sorry, I don’t know what you just said, and yes I am a little
chilly, do you mind?”

“I asked did you speak Italian, you called me I sky, or in
Italian, mi cielo, perhaps you meant my sky which is il mio cielo?”
He blushed and then he nodded, I had made him blush.

“It’s a bit embarrassing, but I was discussing with a friend
how to get you to speak to me and well, that’s a story for another
time, but I do think it suits you. Can I call you that Mi cielo?” I
smiled as he said it again and nodded.

“I’m glad you found speaking works for you, you do it so
wonderfully. We have come a long way in nearly two millennia we
invented fire, the wheel, and surprise, surprise speech.” Laughing,
he moved his hand back to my waist. It felt so good were ever he
put it. Then he grabbed my hand, his fingers wrapped in mine, his
thumb stroking the back of it. I wasn’t in a rush to pull it away
either, but what did he want with a frizzy haired very immature
eighteen year old girl?

“Mi cielo I thought falling at my feet was more effective. Did
you do it on purpose?” I blushed.

“No, but wish I’d thought of it sooner, it had an amazing
effect you spoke to me.”

“You could have said something to me. I don’t bite… Much...” I
laughed, umm bite me please…

“I thought you and Leggy were an item, waiting for her at work
and the dancing lessons with her.” I sighed. His fingers were
touching skin they were beneath my jumper stroking along the
waistband phew. I shivered at his touch. Why has Jimmy been
following me and for how long exactly? These questions needed
answers, any sane girl would be running for the hills now. Confused
yes, excited undeniably.

We continued to walk, but the talking had stopped why? Was he
fed up already? We were just walking this was so strange, why? I
wanted him to speak to me again, why wasn’t he speaking? His hand
was moist and it was getting warmer too. He was looking down at me,
we’d reached the steps in front of the university entrance, he
laughed and then coughed, and I knew his mouth was moving, but I
didn’t hear the words. Well I could but stuff was running around in
my crowded head again. He turned to look at me.

“Would you like to go to the pictures tomorrow?” He had just
asked me out on a date… No… I didn’t hear that right at all, we had
stopped walking. When had that happened? “Well, Miss Michelle
Welles, will you please go out with me tomorrow, to the pictures?”
Mum always shouts at me to concentrate Michelle when people are
speaking to you, a reply was called for, but he had a load of
explaining to do before that. With that he, and before I could
answer, his lips had covered my lips and he kissed me.

Sam was kissing me… Softly and with a passion, you don’t learn
kissing the back of your hand or practicing on your reflection in
the mirror. His hand was around my waist, and the other is holding
my neck tenderly, this was out of this world, amazing. My body is
so relaxed at his touch, my arms feel dead and are flaying at my
side. They quickly though find their way to his back, and caressed
it and him. I’m now pulling him closer to me. His lips are really
so very soft and the flutters in my chest are hurting. The pleasure
of the kiss sending my five senses on a fact-finding
mission.

I lose myself as I fall deeper into his kiss, he moans, as he
moves to the other side of my face. Oh wow, nothing like my only
other kiss from a boy I’d had, I had been kissed before, just the
once. His kisses were nice but this is mind blowing. I snapped back
to reality with a whoosh, because now his tongue was in my
mouth.

I am returning his kisses, my arms holding him to me. I
matched him move for move this was so amazing. I needed to breathe,
but I didn’t want it to stop and then it was over and as suddenly
as it started. He’d pulled away and the voice was there in my head
again. ‘Open your eyes girlie and remember be on your guard,’ shush
woman. My brain needed air, I was so light headed from just a kiss,
well not just a kiss it was a mind-blowing kiss. He left me wanting
more. He was now holding my hands and watching me. We continued to
the walk down towards school. He had his arm wrapped around my
waist mine was around his, as he spoke softly.

“Well is that a yes then?” Oh, hell it was a yes, his kisses
were better than the feeling I had when I put on my new
shoes.

“A yes I think, but Samuel why do you want me?” I let out a
sigh. “And before it’s a definite yes I need some explanations
Samuel Todd?” He laughed.

“My Sunday name, I’m not used to hearing that from anyone, but
Mum and Aunty.” With that I got another gentle kiss to my lips,
whoosh. I led him to college and to the playing field, to the wet
cricket steps. Whilst looking down for a less, wet patch to sit on.
He had already taken off his jacket and insisted we sat on
it.

“How very gentlemanly, Samuel” I laughed, as he bowed.
“Explanations needed Samuel please.” He smiled as I called him
Samuel again.

“I prefer to be called Sam, Michelle.” I shuffled on his
jacket, the cold coming through it. He smiled again. “Why do I want
you is a hard one to explain, but the when that’s easier? The day
you danced down the side path, that was the day I found you, you
made so many mistakes dancing down that path, it made me smile and
take note of what you were doing. You danced all the way down,
stopping and chastising yourself when you made a mistake, then
you’d go back and do it again and again until you got it right, you
looked so good doing it too.

You looked like you didn’t have a care in the world, your only
focus was on the dance steps and get that right the one movement
you couldn’t master straight away and finally in getting that one
small step right, you’d sussed how to make the dance flow properly!
You never quit and you weren’t settling for nearly right either,
you were aiming for perfection, but you did it and the dance was
perfectly performed by you once you had!

You were and are so nice to watch, you made me feel like I was
wrapped in a comfortable warm blanket as I watched you! You looked
and seemed relaxed and untroubled! I liked the way watching you
made me feel, you made me relax and stress free and smile. Before I
spotted you and your mad dance, I was bogged down carrying the
weight of the world on my shoulders, and I’m no Atlas
Michelle…

I was a mess, my life was wrecked and it and me were quickly
reaching the point of no return to normality. What little strength
and resolve I had was being severely tested and with even more
weight added to it daily, I was struggling to balance everything!
So either the weight would continue to get heavier until it crushed
me, or I could simply let it fall and start over again, taking it
slower and get it right by doing it better the next time. So
Michelle, I decided on letting it all go. I started slowly getting
each bad thing in my life to work right and after I’d fixed the
biggest of the problems I had, fixing that solved so many other
things that were broken, everything fell into place and started to
get better.

Now the problems I still have are easier to deal with and
eventually my life and I will be in perfect working order again. I
have yet to thank the one person who helped me see things through
different eyes, she helped me see finally that I shouldn’t just
give up and give in. She showed me I needed to keep on trying, to
go back and do it again and again until things were
better.

Fortunately for me it was easier than I thought it would be.
You know taking that first step? Well it was easier because I saw
someone I wanted more! That person became my focus on keeping to
the straight and narrow, but keeping to that path is a little
trickier, you see I need her help still, she has the strength I
need, the focus and the guts to help me resolve my problems, I
think? I know I got that initial strength to change, simply from
watching her, you Michelle are her, in case you were wondering who
I’m jabbering on about?

You’re the one I want to help me get better, I think I need
you in my life Michelle to help me, in fact I know I need you
Michelle! I thank the day I spotted you and now I want to thank
you...” He leant towards me and kissed me again, wow thanks
gratefully received! He is very wordy and eloquent, I could listen
to him all night but I heard that right though he needs me, what
as, a personal trainer or a life coach what?

“Thanks
for dancing like an idiot into your life? Umm thanks for the thanks
it was my pleasure I think?” I want more of those kisses
please.

“By the way you looked damn hot doing it too, whether you were
wearing trainers or not! I laughed so loudly I thought you’d seen
me, especially when you took them off and threw them in the bushes.
Then I laughed even more when you realized your socks were mucky
and you cursed yourself as you freed them from the spider filed
bushes. You hated looking in bushes trying to find your trainers;
after you did I presumed you’d checked them for spiders? Well from
the way you banged them hard against the wall and inspected them,
shaking them vigorously before hurriedly putting them back on,
there were no unwelcome occupants?

Michelle I laughed so much in the space of that one single
hour, more in fact than I had done in the whole previous three
years combined, and all watching you!
You
were so free from worry and stress when you finally got your dance
right, I wanted to rush over, spin you around and say well done and
thanks for bringing a smile back to my face. I figured you’d freak
a little, so I didn’t!”

“Oh cheers so you were laughing at me, my dirty socks, my
trainer toss and my fear of the eight legged monsters then? Them
and moths are my only fears!

So you want to be happy now and with me? Why what was so wrong
with your old life, that’s made you so unhappy? A girl, money
troubles, oh God you’re not a gambler are you, do you do drugs or
any stupid shit that could get you arrested?”

“Laughing with you not at you Michelle! No to the gambling, a
definite no to drug taking. I do nothing illegal and nothing that
would harm you in any way, but yes girls and being constantly drunk
were a problem, though I am not an alcoholic either, I’m or was
just a weekend and social over drinker, but the weekend drinking
used to be harsh and often involved an alcoholic fuelled amnesic
day, I spent most of my Sundays in bed recovering, trying to
remember what I did!