A Life Plan Without You. (4 page)

That part of life’s lessons learnt at school was the worst
ever in school history, not only did the teacher not have a clue as
to how to teach sex education, she had no control over the boys in
the class either and every time, she mentioned penis or vagina she
blushed. As they gave a call to rally whooping and stomping their
feet, bummer this was a class full of idiots, I had hoped to learn
something from that lesson, but they had ruined it.

That was an embarrassing lesson, full of pre-pubescent boys,
and the testosterone filled ones weren’t that much better behaved.
Shit, I could I never look at another cucumber without seeing
stupid condoms covering the things we had had to put them over to
show well, you know the drill. Quite a few of the lads laughed and
said most of the lads could use a banana as their model.

One asked me should he use a banana or a cucumber, waving his
nether region in my direction, touching himself up in front of me.
Big mistake. I kicked him in his man zone and said neither it was
now too shrivelled up and had died, and gone to lady-boy heaven,
exit one teary eyed Gary Parkin. The more boisterous of the spotty
faced boys had managed to blow them up and wear them as hats
clever. Oh, having jonnies flicked at me was the highlight of the
day, not. That memory locked in the mind safe, my keys thrown away.
Snap out of it dolly daydream he’s going, daydreaming cost me
precious seconds with him, and he missed more of my witty repartee!
Bummer.

“No problem Michelle, we can do it some other time. I will
speak to you later… Now I know you can.” Wow, I shivered as he
leant forward and whispered that in my ear, berrrrhhh ‘chills
they’re multiplying and I’m losing my mind,’ (who knew what that
line in Greece, my fav film of all time, actually meant this?)
Literally I was in pieces. Yeahh, I’d had first contact with Sam,
with a smile and a shoulder shrug he disappeared down stairs, to
have his private lesson with Lana.

He was off to the stunning girlfriend, she was better for him
than me, they were the same age, they both had gorgeous drop-dead
bodies and they had chemistry, and he did wait for her at school.
On the other hand, was he in fact only waiting for James? I can
dream that he’s here for me and he waits to see me? No… I saw the
looks they gave each other, when I spied on them from the back
steps, all the laughter, and their touches. All too often, I’d run
back up and had a cry in the loo.

The reason he was not interested in a frizzy haired me, she
was the reason Michelle I told myself, the reason he’d never look
at me like that was dancing with him in there, the glamorous leggy
blonde, with the killer smile and drop-dead body, compare her
perfection against all my faults, I realised last week I was on a
hiding to nowhere, when they danced the Argentinian Tango, they
looked like they were about to roll around on the floor and have
sex. Gheeze did I run away crying… Shit I’m off again I go back
into dreamland.

A quick check of the shoes and ankle and back to helping Lee
teach the rabble of chattering nippers. Deep sigh and carry on.
Another slow hour passed, before we Ellie and I were finishing off
our private lesson, when suddenly the Friday social lot had started
to arrive. Lee had me dance the jive with him, he was such a
fantastic dancer, we danced it to perfection and our lessons was
nearly over. Then the lights would soon go down and not for the
first time I dreamed I’d get to dance with someone, who wasn’t just
a young boy, trying to cop a feel of a teachers bum, but I’d missed
that ship.

I turned around just in time to see a large group of people
from college turning up at the door, Warren eagerly taking their
fees. I was it had to be said gutted, no fair this is my world. My
world goddamn it, (sheisk I’m swearing a lot in my head today,) a
world I’d managed to keep secret from nearly everyone at school,
and for such a long time too, and now the college idiots where
here. How did they know? Who had let them know about my private
little world, how had they found my hidden Shangri-La? Who was
responsible for my secret worlds implosion or explosion? Sheisk who
or what better duck I’m mad as holy hell…

Who or what was soon answered, well fuck me and hold me back,
before I set free the damn fire and damnation of all the devilled
dogs in hell, I was about to go ballistic… The answer to that
feared question and the reason my now mind-fucked head was
exploding, with such a murderous amount of rage brewing, has just
sashayed into the room, in she walked with her newly acquired
boobs, they entered the room first, so perk, pointy and perfect,
shit, she was here with the twins!

I said to Tasha they were false, because she was as flat as a
pancake before Christmas, and the when we got back from her
Christmas skiing break, with Ellie, she had a perfect double-d
sized pair! Mine were just there and I hadn’t a clue as to their
size, I was hoping they’d go away soon. I was exercising to rid
myself of them, with no such luck at the moment, I was just firming
them up, shit snap back Missy and quickly

In she waltzed in her posh frock and ever so grown up shoes.
Which she hadn’t saved nor slaved for. Hers was the life I’d always
wanted for myself. The nice clothes, holidays taken abroad. The
Farah Fawcett bleached blonde streaked hair, all done in a salon,
all be it her own mum’s salon. She lived the lifestyle of a spoilt,
rich young madam. Here she was and she had dared to ruin my world,
she had messed with it and she was trying to ruin it. I swore I’d
kill her if she tried anything funny tonight, umm hopefully not out
loud?

She was not alone she had brought her inner circle and most of
her hangers on with her. She was going to make here as bad was as
the past seven years. I took their crap through the five of
secondary school and the nearly two of college, she was only in a
few classes I had at college, I was in catering and she was in
admin, but we still did other A level classes together, so for the
main I was able to avoid her a lot, but she was here, and here in
my Navarra, my Shangri-La, my peaceful garden. I will not take it
this holy ground is unspoilt by malice and is a peaceful place a
happy place but above all it’s mine! God no I wasn’t going to lose
here, not to that bitch-troll-ho, she was going down… I was going
to chop her down and cry timber as I watched her fall. This was my
world and I ruled in my world here, this was my goddamned hen house
not hers. I looked over at Ellie as she smiled at Karen and waved!
Bitch, you’re going to suffer too…

“Ellie, did you know Karen was coming tonight?” One look at
her face said it all, of course she did. Samantha had, with sneaky
beaky Ellie’s help, been rushing Karen through all the dances and
levels in their private classes, twice a week for the past oh I
don’t know four months or so?

She had the look and she sort of knew what she was doing, and
yeah she was good and a quick learner, for some reason she was here
last week for her lesson when I got here early to run through some
lesson plans with Lana, before her lesson with Sam and I was
surprised to see her there, so I‘d seen her efforts, she was no
technical expert, her timings were way off, but she looked the
part.

Until tonight though she hadn’t ever come to a social. Oh and
there at the back of the group was Mandy, who also takes private
lessons with my sister, she’s my friend and my neighbour and she’s
dragged along with her, her new boyfriend and hard case, ex high
school nutter and expelled thug, Paul Connor. At least I knew she
wasn’t a backstabbing bitch.

Tagging on at the back Jimmy, hunky dudes brother, could this
night possibly get any get any worse? We did the last dance of the
lesson and I listened to the chatter. Most was complementary, but
putting in the boot was Karen, Lee had heard her ripping into my
dancing abilities. Telling the ones she was sat with that I was
doing it all wrong that she could do it better and so Lee had Cathy
dance with Ellie and we did the Rhumba to the music. I was good at
this, and as we were step perfect and technically unflawed, our
timings were perfect and finally the sniggering had stopped and she
sat catching flies, good bitch eat my dust, before I go all primal
on your arse, your sisters aren’t here…

“I was picked on all the time too babes, for some reason I was
too fabulous for them. You babes are just like me, too fabulous to
give a damn. You look nice tonight have you finally found the wow
in having naturally curly hair? The salon has some stuff just come
in for conditioning perms; they should be great on your hair. I'll
bring you some stuff in next week. Now ignore the bitch and carry
on looking fab babes.” I wondered what he meant about the hair? My
hand went to the head, and it felt the same frizzy and freaky… I
carried on with the lesson and tried to explain, why I hated
her.

“She has been a bitch for six and bit years. I’m thinking Lee,
that I can survive a few more weeks. She has always had everything
I have ever wanted though, and she knows it too.”

“She, no matter how many lessons she has, she will never be as
good as you, I’ve taught you all you know babes. I had to pull her
up last week she was coming on to Sam yet again and fooling around
like a damned school girl and Sammy Girl was slipping in her
teaching abilities. Karen isn’t good enough for the exams, so I
pulled her out of the next lot and told Sammy Girl she’s being
taught by Lana, and she has to start from the beginning again and
perfect the simple stuff first, she was not pleased!”

I wondered did she fancy my Sam, get me my Sam! So she had
seen him dancing here for months on both Tuesday and a Thursday,
damn she’s seen more of him than I have bugger! Why did I not say
yes to the Tuesday nippers and Thursday swing club? Bummer another
missed opportunity… Oh hell is she going to ruin my Fridays with
Sam?

“Lee has she changed her lesson dates to Friday?” He laughed
and stroked my cheek softly!

“No Michelle. She was shocked as hell when she found out he
wasn’t there on Tuesday and Thursday, but that was only ever a
temporary slot for Sam, just until Lana had a Friday slot open up,
and wow Karen is madder than a Witches tit that I won’t let her
have a Friday slot, well not unless she wants to join you and your
nippers? So how do you know him and explain the thing you two had,
it was smoking hot to watch?” I was embarrassed and blushing,
someone had seen the show we put on?

“No… I erm… I saw him when he started here a few weeks ago,
he’s sort of gorgeous, I think… Oh hell shut up and dance you
queen, he’s sort of spoken for I think?” He laughed as he pulled me
close…

“
Great minds babe, but he’s been having lessons for months. I
know you know because you scanned his progress sheets the other
week, because Madam Sinner told me you had! He’s been here since
before Christmas, and then about three weeks later Karen started on
those old nights too, note you didn’t scan her progress sheets,
still you know she’s crap right? Oh hell babes… You have the green
eyed monster! Funny now you mention it, when he started his Friday
lessons, he seemed really relieved he could dance Fridays for some
strange reason? Either she was doing his tree in or he likes
someone here on a Friday night? I could be wrong on that and
perhaps he hated Karen being there? All he did was laugh at her,
she must have thought he was into her and laughing with her, not at
her! Nahah, he ain’t into that skanky bitch, no not into her at
all.

He’s quite the deep boy, he’s very sensitive and wow the moves
he has are so yummy, just my type of guy, it’s just a pity he
doesn’t come in my flavour babes. I can tell you this much, she
ain’t his flavour either! He has a strange reaction to skanks… Come
on dance with me Sugar Knickers, he is gorg though and I happen to
know he has his eye on someone really special. You have a mad crush
on him babes, don’t you? Never mind we have great taste, fight you
for him when we finish this damn lesson, she’s doing my head in!
Listen to her speaking about timings; she wouldn’t know how to time
a goddamned egg, bitch-ho-troll-bag!” I smiled, I’m learning my
language skills from Lee, how did I not realise that? Then I sulked
a little, who else liked my Sam?

“He is cute Lee and yeah I’d lose out to you too knowing my
sodding luck with you men! What with Karen and Lana, there’s also
bloody a mystery woman to fight for his attention, great as though
I thought Lana was bad enough obstacle, shit does everyone fancy
him here?”

“Yeah pretty much he has a big fan club, including, both Old
Sammy Boy and Young Sammy Boy.” (We have an Old Sammy Boy, a Sammy
Girl and a Young Sammy Boy!) Lee gets confused with all the Sam’s
he has as teachers here, he said no more Sam’s, he may make
exception to one more Sam though, I laugh inside and get
inquisitive about the girl he likes, Lee is loving this, he knows
who she is and isn’t for telling me damn it, crap, I’m saying that
a lot lately, thanks Lee…

“Karen asked Sammy Girl for her lessons to be changed to
Fridays too. Unfortunately I had to veto them, as I need Sammy Girl
for some new nipper lesson’s I’ve booked in for on a Friday. Lana
is back to Tuesdays and Thursdays again; her hubby has changed
shifts yet again. Goddamn it she changes her clients around more
than often than she changes her knickers! Opps no… My bad mouth
won’t shut up, she changes those more, if you get my drift, she has
to they get a little dirty, what with all the crotch action she
gets?”