A Life Plan Without You. (10 page)

I suppose I owe her one, she’s teaching my last lot you know
the ones I nearly killed last week? She’s offered to do those kids
tomorrow, before her lesson, her first class on her own! Watch it
though Sam she is only young, she’s just had her eighteenth, she’s
a nice girl, but quiet and shy are you sure she’s the one for you?”
I knew how old she is, that’s what’s been worrying me.

“Yes I like her, I know what I usually go for but no I have
changed and for her. I know that sounds sappy and love sick but I
really like her. She is teaching tomorrow you say? Good I can work
with that! How are the feet I’m sure that little girl didn’t mean
to stick her heel in your toe quite so hard, how is Old Jonnie not
out again?”

“He’s coming down later, when he shuts the shop. We’re off to
the Wind Catcher for a meal, nice and romantic he says, I say he
hates my cooking!”

“I don’t know he has a point, how do you boil water again
Lala?”

“You put the kettle on Wam Bam; do you want to fall out with
me? Last lesson tomorrow are you sure your pretty damn
good?”

“I’m sure, if she says no I don’t want to stick around to be
embarrassed!” She smiles gives my cheek a kiss and sees Jonnie, who
waves and off they ride into the sunset, I want what they have,
true love! Fuck I need this to work!

I’d actually decided to go and watch her dance. I’m still
busy trying to run through on how I would casually introduce
myself? Everything, I came up with sounded lame and lord I was
nervous. Perhaps I could just say hello? Could it be just so
simple, or perhaps it may well be, it would be easier if I had a
few for ‘Dutch Courage,’ no I’m not smelling like a brewery around
her, no definitely not a good first impression, snap back Sam, your
day dreaming again, I’ve been doing that a lot these past few
months!

I dressed and went to the studio, I put on my shoes and
looked at that valentines card again, I know it wasn’t Karen who
sent it, her writing on the notes she passed during her lessons
were different writing, the other two yes they were hers and
explicit like I would roll in any hay-hay with her, or any other
place she mentioned, roll her down a riverbank perhaps? Yeah I
could do that.

I’d hoped it was off Michelle, but given that according to
Lana half the girls here fancied me, it could be any of them. I was
sure she was wrong, there were only a handful of girls here even
old enough, but the verse was pretty and the drawing of an angel
with the long dark wings was beautiful, quite the artist who ever
drew that. Too nice to throw away and unlike the two Karen sent I
wasn’t for ripping it up either.

When she came in she looked so different, her hair was
different. Had she had it done? She looks nice and it suits her, I
smile and as she shakes her head, she smiles and giggles, God she
sounds sexy when she giggles. I watch as she takes a box from
Warren and runs off like a kid at Christmas. When she comes out she
looks so happy. I watch as the bunch of a dozen or so kids all
gather around her and like a mother hen they follow her and Ellie
around, she really is good with them Lana was right.

She passes me as she dances with her chicks, why is she
ignoring me? Have I done something wrong, no smiles? She's dancing
with a very timid little girl, she’s going to fall, hell she has
and she’s at my feet looking straight up at me, she's embarrassed.
Thank you dear lord, for letting her fall straight at my feet. I
smile, as she looks deep into my eyes, her eyes are the bluest and
brightest I have ever seen. I help her up, and as I pull her up, a
little too rushed on my part, she falls into my arms, and feel her
heart and it’s beating fast, the gasp from her as I hold her. She
really is wonderful and we talk briefly, as Ellie helps the little
girl calm down, Michelle and I have our first talk, she is quick
witted and smart. Her replies have me laughing.

As I reach down for her sweet little hand, I offer to teach
her the dance, cheeky sod that I am. She can dance professionally,
I heard Lee tell Lana she’s a natural but far too shy. I tell her I
will see her later and catch my lesson with Lana. I’ve decided to
stop down stairs until the social starts more planning needed but
after our all too brief encounter earlier, I know she is the one.
Her laughter and the feel of her body next to mine had me convinced
she was worth the wait and was the one.

Lana disappeared to meet Jonnie, after giving me a lecture,
on safe sex, and to watch what I do with her. Lee is hovering about
and I know he’s the one to help me put the last part of the plan
together. Then I’m on my own, let’s hope he agrees, Lana says he’s
an old romantic and will help, that’s a laugh he’s only a couple of
years older than me. Don’t get if you don’t ask as Aunty Jane says,
well here goes nothing Sam.

“Lee, can you play a tango for me please a couple of dances
in. It is Michelle’s favourite dance isn’t it?” He laughed, he I’m
told adores Michelle, and he’s always laughing and joking with her,
I have to convince her friend, who Lana informed me packs a mean
punch, if you mess with his friends, that I’m serious about
her?

“It is Sam yes. I believe from Miss Lana you’re fond of
Michelle then?” I think I’m blushing.

“Yes very fond actually, she has that erg sort of something
going on? I want to ask her out on a date, what do you reckon; I’ve
been doing all these lessons for? I want to be able to dance with
her, but for some bloody reason I can’t find the courage to ask her
out, in case she says no.” He smiled back at me. Even to me that
sounded romantic, shit I’ve not had a romantic bone in my body for
months. No strike that, in forever!

“She may have a thing for you too, I’m not supposed to say
anything, but she had a teary cry over you last week, she seems to
think you’re going out with Lana, for some reason? Michelle is so
special Sam, don’t go hurting her though or you will have me to
deal with.” He laughed and left me to think of a game plan, I
thought I would have a lot longer to prepare, a lot, lot longer.
She likes me? That was nice to hear though, but I wonder why she
cried over me and why the hell would she think there was anything
going on with Lana? Oh hell, here goes nothing as I walk up the
stairs and wait.

Lee smiles and puts on the record, she’s sat looking lost
staring at her feet. Jimmy is watching me as I cross the floor, he
isn’t happy, I gave him time loads of it In fact, but he still
didn’t do anything, the other lad? Well I’m not risking it by
waiting.

“I believe Michelle you owe me a dance?” I take her in my
arms, at last she’s here, and I don’t want to let her go now she’s
here. We dance and I stare down at her, she really is in my arms
after watching her forever, she is here and I can’t believe it. She
smells so nice she’s explaining why as I tell her so, all about
Lana. She chats away after some goading by me into doing so, she’s
really shy, she’s sweet, her eyes are beautiful, and they sparkle
as she talks.

I’ve got to stop staring, but I can’t help it, should I kiss
her? I want to, but here? No that’s too much in front of this lot,
but soon baby girl soon. We dance as the music changes from one
dance to another, is there nobody else dancing? I don’t care. My
hand finds her soft skin and I get a nervous need to do more, I
hold her close and hope my dick doesn’t stand to attention! I am
losing all my self-control, because hell I have never felt like
this about a girl before, this baby girl is meant to be.

When the music stops, I lead her away from the rest and sit
by ourselves in the corner, away from them. I need it to be just
her and I, but she looks lost as I get back with her drink. I want
to pull her face to mine and kiss those lips, she panics and
looking up I see why! The piranha’s on her way over, Karen. What
the hell does she want? Can’t she take a hint? Weeks she’s been
doing this and weeks I have ignored her. She asks me for a dance,
cutting Michelle totally out of the conversation. I don’t think so,
not when I’m with Michelle and never in my lifetime would I ever
ignore her, ever. Karen needs to go away and leave before she’s
told a few home truths…

Michelle looks so uncomfortable and has to leave, quick
explanation to Kazza! I loved the face she pulled when Michelle
called it her, so I did too, when I tell her we, Michelle and I,
are leaving and she leaves. Michelle looks so pleased, not like our
Jim Bob, he’s throwing dirty looks my way. As she passes I touch
her back and my hand ‘slips’ to her backside, she’s so beautiful
and hell she has to go out with me, she has to, the chemistry is
unquestionably there and I know she feels something I see it in her
eyes, I feel it in her touch. My soldier is twitching he likes her,
too much so; stand down soldier! I help her on with the jacket
thing she has it’s as soft as her skin and as I put it on I smell
her neck and yep, I twitch again damn she has me aroused a
lot…

As we walk, we talk! She speaks Italian, I’m in awe of her as
she tells me mi cielo is Italian for my sky, my name for her and
she likes it. Things are happening in a sort of dream state, but
then I have the urge to ask her, do it just ask her Sam! What’s the
worse she can say, no? I ask her to the pictures and she looks lost
and surprised, I can’t resist any longer, I kiss her, her lips were
just too inviting, wow, she tastes like heaven and I can’t get
enough.

Pulling her closer as she responds, her arms are around me
sending shivers through my body and I deepen the kiss. Her lips are
soft and inviting I hear her soft murmurs, and I fall deeper, she’s
kissing me back and they are so nice. Shit I have to pull away,
because my soldier is starting to parade, she had to feel that? Not
a good look, getting a stiffy in front of the girl you have only
just asked out, but wow what a kiss, I got a stiffy from just a
kiss, fuck this is going to be a long courtship, yes I’m doing this
right and he thinks he’s getting a Wam-Bam! Nope that’s never
happening for this lady, this one is different the kiss is
definitely a good indication of how good it will be.

She says yes, my God, she says yes! My heart stopped for a
minute, she has just agreed to the pictures and I’m having my first
ever proper date. Who’d have figure it would take twenty two years
for that? However first I have to explain things and well explain I
will, if I can, but I don’t know why I am attracted to her, just
that I am? I’m up close and talking to her, I feel like it’s
supposed to happen, her and I. I tell her everything she asks and
sneaking the odd kiss in too, here on the freezing steps wet and
miserable that they are. It’s as if we are in a bubble, just the
two of us talking. I talk she listens, she really has the bluest of
eyes and her smile melts me. The kisses I sneak in are so nice.
Then she says she has to get back. I walk her home and she leans in
for another kiss, I don’t want this to end, oh hell wow what a
kiss.

She warns me of her dad, I have never met a proper
girlfriend’s dad before, simply because I have never been anyone’s
proper boyfriend perhaps being the reason for that? Plenty of time
I think, for the promised right hook! I give her another kiss and
watch her disappear into the house, stopping a while. She’s
actually is going out with me, thank God, yes! I’m so cold and my
jackets wet, but I head off home, happy and so looking forward to
tomorrow.

I get home and putting my wet coat on the hook and make a
coffee, fire on and getting warm, when the door flings open and my
drunken father stumbles in.

“Sam, drink now. I will need more money for
tomorrow.”

“Dad, this is half my wages, I can’t afford this every week.”
He laughs.

“Choice is yours, pay up and I shut up, don’t pay, and feel
the pain, or someone else will!” He sneers as he grabs my money, I
have to plead poverty or he will get wise that we have more, how
the hell does he think we manage? We pay the bills, we pay for
food, the rent and everything, yet he takes half of what either
Andy or I get from our wages, it’s a drop in the ocean to what we
have! I just want this to end, hell I hate that man with every
thread of my being. I grumble and hand him my coffee and my handful
of cash is put in his top pocket. This is getting to be more, and
more every time. I need to say no, I want to say no, why can’t I
and why is mum refusing to move to the new place? It’s safe its
secure and it’s away from here? He’s off to bed and I sit and
listen to a record. Jimmy is home next and looking mad as hell;
well I deserve a smack and I have to admit that I would be in here
and fighting, if I were him.

“So couldn’t keep away from her Sam? She’s the only girl I
have ever liked, why did you do it? Just, to piss me off or just
because you can, why I love her Sam?” I feel a little bit guilty,
but I can’t help it she is the one I want and thankfully I have
her.

“Jimmy, Michelle has agreed to go out with me. She has only
ever thought of you as a friend, she likes you but not that way.
Sorry Jimmy but she’s off limits, she’s mine.” He stomped off to
bed and I sit in the dark watching the flames of the fire. I feel
like shit taking his dreams away from him, but she’s mine and for
that reason alone I am sorry, not for having her, but that he has
been hurt, that she chose me…

I wake in the morning and I’ve slept in the clothes I had on
last night and I’m sprawled out along the couch, mum is knelt at my
side lovingly stroking my cheek.