A New Dream [Dreams: 1] (2 page)

James watched him in silence until a smile tugged at his lips.

“So we’re both heading the same way, even if the original road is different.”

“Yeah, I guess you could say so.” David returned the smile.

“Did you prepare your trip or are you going there… les mains dans les poches or, as we say it, by the seat of your pants?”

David loved the way James used the French idiom, with his cute accent. It was nice for him to meet someone who was willing to speak French with him on the plane, when he was about to go into a country where he probably wouldn't speak French often. Maybe they could exchange their contact details and meet up sometime?

David tried to ignore the fuzzy sensation in his guts as a slow warmth seeped into his body.

“I’ve prepared it pretty much from day one. I didn’t really know what else to do, except being a lawyer. I needed to make an extreme life makeover, though. And, to be honest, it would have been way too difficult to get an equivalent rating of qualifications. I’m going to work in a bar in front of the Holy Cross Cathedral.” Seeing James’ breath hitch, he hurriedly added, “Yes I know, it’s a big change but my parents used to have a restaurant when I was a kid, I worked there all the time. So, I know the basics. Plus, it’s no big deal. I mean, a little service, a little cooking and administration work…. It can’t be that hard, right? I’ve done it before. The owner said he needed someone able to speak French because there are some French people in the neighborhood. It would be a plus to have someone on his staff to speak with them so here I am. I feel very lucky and the best part is that I don’t need to look for a place to stay. The owner is renting me the flat above the bar.”

Different emotions crossed James’ face in such rapid succession that David couldn't read them all. He swiftly gained an unreadable, though mildly thoughtful, expression.

“In front of the Holy Cross?” he finally asked.

“Yes, do you know it?”

“I know the Cathedral, of course, but I haven't been back to Boston in ages so the shops might well have changed a lot since then. You said you have children,” James changed the subject. “How old are they?”

“My twins Jules and Jenny are eighteen. They live together in the house I bought with Suzanne. They both work and they’re good kids. I know they can count on each other.”

“They will stay there alone?” The sudden cold in James’ voice sent chills through David’s body.

“No, Lisa, their godmother, was Suzanne’s best friend. She’ll keep an eye on them and deal with anything I can’t do from afar. She lives in the same village and she’s just a phone call away. I named her their referent for the doctor, Jenny’s school and Jules’ boss. They’ll be fine.”

“Won’t you miss them?” James asked with a stone cold face.

What’s wrong with him? Did I hit a sore spot?

“Of course I will, they’re my babies. Without them, I couldn’t have made it, you know. They’ve been there for me, more than I was for them. I was a shadow of myself… I know it sounds like a selfish thing to do, leaving them like that, but I wasn’t a good father to them anymore. Just a crappy roommate they needed to look after in case I would get lost in myself. I’m not proud of what I became but that’s one of the reasons why I'm leaving. I want to be a better father to them. I want them to be proud of me, as much as I’m proud of them.”

He really wanted James to understand him, to believe in him. It was a silly thing to hope for. They weren’t friends; they didn’t even know each others last names. And he would, in all likelihood, never see him again.

James smiled and he appeared more relaxed. Somehow, it felt wrong to David. He briefly had the impression that he was seeing an illusion. It made him uncomfortable.

“Then I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for,” James said, with a tone of finality.

He put his hand in the breast pocket of his shirt and pulled out his iPod Nano. He put his earplugs in and switched the device on.

Well, that was some way to turn me down flat...
David got his own iPod out of his pocket and turned it on. The band Moriarty would sing its blues to distract him from his own.

David couldn’t fathom why he was so disappointed. James looked like he was a great guy, nice, with a very charismatic smile. He had thought for a moment that he could find a friend in him, even after such little time spent together. Just a gut feeling that it could be more. Having him as a friend? Well now, that was something he hadn’t had for a while. All of his so-called friends had left him when Suzanne had passed. As if death by car crash could be contagious…The few ones he had left, he was the one to avoid them. Too many memories linking them to his beloved wife. His colleagues avoided him and no extra professional activity made him want to get out of his house. He hadn’t met someone new in ages. And it hurt his feelings somehow that someone like James could shut him down so rapidly after just a few minutes of conversation.

Maybe there was something about him that caused people to avoid him? He wasn’t that bad looking so it wouldn’t be something physical. Well, he was no Brad Pitt either, but he considered himself as pretty average. Then, if not for physical reasons, it would have to have something to do with his personality. Yes, that was it. He wasn’t that interesting, for a guy. He was reasonably smart, but working as a corporate lawyer was as boring as it sounded. And, of course, he didn’t have a life. Except for his kids, who basically lived without him anyway even when he was actually present.

Anyway, that’s life right? I’ll get over it.

David sighed heavily as he glanced out the window, turning up the volume of his iPod as
Little Sadie
started. His fingers played drums in rhythm with the mouth harp; the joyful rhythm of the song always made him want to drum on something or mark the tempo with his fingers, hand, foot, even his head sometimes. He briefly saw the Ice Queen making her traditional demonstrations of how-to-survive-if-the-plane-crashes. He knew he should listen to her advice. But just thinking of what could happen made him shift restlessly in his seat. He was about to cross the ocean for the first time in his life and he was scared to death as it was. He didn't need more reasons to worry. He shut his mind off and tried not to think about anything. Not the heat coming from his travel companion’s thighs, nor his sweet spicy scent, or his own arm brushing James’ on the armrest. By the time the plane took off, he had already gone down in the sweet oblivion of a dreamless sleep.

C
hapter 2 –
J
ames:
the flight

E
arplugs in, James was listening to Nico Wayne Toussaint having a blast on his harmonica. He couldn’t sleep like David, even though he had tried. He couldn’t ignore the body slightly sprawled against him. The heat wafting in waves from David was almost unbearable, as he craved to take him in his arms. This man seemed to carry the whole world on his shoulders. And yet, when he’d talked about his kids left at home, James couldn’t avoid thinking of his own childhood.

He knew the situation was different, that David was certainly not a violent alcoholic who abandoned his wife and kids in deep misery. He was not James’ father. The last time he had seen his genitor was the day he had come back to murder his wife, red-rimmed bulging eyes, a sick look on his face, a knife dripping with blood in the modest kitchen of James’ childhood home. David was not the one who had left his children in foster care, abandoned and mistreated in a country where violence had become so common. But he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about it. And he’d had to cut the conversation short, he hadn’t wanted to let his shields down in front of a stranger.

It had taken him years to build a shell to protect himself and to cultivate the strength to cope with his baby sister. He had tried so hard to study in order to have a good job but the path he had chosen was not for him. He hadn’t really found his place until he joined the Marines, the men becoming his family. His baby sister was happy now as a teacher in kindergarten. She was so shy she was almost diffident but her bright smile always sent bursts of love to James’ heart. She was the love of his life. At 28, she still looked like she was 16. He always feared that someone would hurt her, though he knew she was strong. She could handle almost anything and leaving her when he had decided to enlist in the Marines had nearly broken his heart. She had forced him to go, arguing he needed it. He needed to discover the world and come back to her to tell her what the rest of the world looked like, it was the mission she had given him. She had a life of her own now, with a lot of good friends but it wasn’t like her to travel much. He would do that for her.

James was a lot lonelier than his sister. She was the open-minded one, with a constant smile on her face. He couldn’t say he wasn’t friendly or that he never smiled, he smiled a lot and cared about people. He just couldn’t see the point in broadcasting his own life and was much more secretive than her. He had found brothers in the Corps. Every one of them could ask what they wanted from him; he would gladly help.
Semper fidelis
was their motto, and he would always be loyal to them, but he would never confide in them.

Bo, with whom he had invested in this business, was his closest friend among his brothers in arms. It was as if they’d been separated at birth, except they didn’t have the same skin color. James was as white as Bo was black.

From New Orleans, Bo’s strong southern accent had been very funny to James, until one day Bo punched him in the face with one of his shovel-sized hands. Then he had held out a hand to pull him back to his feet. “Heya, nice ta meet ya too. I’m Bo. If ya don’ mess with me, we can be friends. Or I can beat da crap out of ya. Ya choice.” James had gone for the first option and they had been best buddies ever since. He had found his behavior pretty weird at the time but it was how things worked with Bo. There was nothing grey in him. His black and white attitude had come in handy in his line of work, since Bo had decided to invest in real estate. When he said it was a good deal, it truly was.

That’s why James hadn’t hesitated when Bo had asked him if he wanted to buy this three-story building on Washington Street with him. A restaurant occupied the ground floor and there were two flats, one on the first floor and another one on the second. James would live in the top floor flat, while waiting for the money to drop into his wallet, from the earnings of the business.

He had decided to take some time to make a decision about what he wanted to do. He was a bit lost; he had become used to the life of a marine. He had seen a lot of disturbing and sad events when he was abroad and he wasn’t sure about what he wanted to do next.

He tried to stretch his leg. He had hurt his knee stupidly during his last tour in Ukraine; he had fallen badly and had torn the cruciate ligament in his left knee. The injury hadn’t put his life in danger but he hadn’t been able to walk for too long or carry a lot of weight. He couldn’t sit for long periods of time either, so he would have to walk up and down the aisle during the seven-hour flight. Stretching on a plane that size was a challenge, but he was happy to get up and walk every now and then. He was glad not to sit next to the window, like his fellow traveler. He dared a glance at him.

He was still upset by David’s earlier conversation. James took his time to observe him as he slept. His long, black eyelashes brushed the top of his cheeks. The contrast between his well-defined dark eyebrows, his wavy black hair and his pale skin was stunning. He looked like someone who hadn’t been in the sun for ages. The shadows under his eyes told James he hadn’t slept well lately. He admired his luscious lips and the stubble on his face, making him look like a pretty, bad boy, if such a thing existed. He wore a dark grey tee with a message in French saying “Réveil en cours…veuillez patienter” with a half full downloading bar. It meant, if he wasn’t mistaken, “Awakening in progress…please wait.” He chuckled softly. It was so geeky cute. Form-fitting black jeans, a Calvin Klein belt and Italian shoes spoke about David’s wealthy lifestyle. That, or he really loved showing off. At least, he knew how to mix funny and classy.

James liked that in men. He hated unkempt guys who reeked of stale beer from five feet away or, worse, those who couldn’t behave in public. No, he liked his men elegant, smart and funny. Not inhibited would be a plus. Well, it could be fun to loosen them up… He'd had one relationship in his entire life with the Assistant to the District Attorney at the time, Elliot. He was always dressed up in silky suits that cost way more than James could afford. Elliot was proud as a peacock but inhibited to death. They had met in a bar, where Elliot celebrated alone at the end of a trial. James was working there to pay his first year tuition. He had instantly spotted him but could see he was not the type to dare make the first move.

After a couple of beers, he pretended he wanted to smoke a cigarette outside. James dragged him into the alley at the back of the bar and kissed him roughly, taking his face between his big hands and devouring his silky-smooth mouth. Elliot’s body answered violently as their tongues fought against each other, twisting, sliding, wet swords engaged in a merciless sparring. The heat soon became unbearable, making James melt against Elliot. His hands were all over his new lover in seconds, fondling his lean features. Due to his height and physical strength, James often had the upper hand on people, even if he didn’t usually use it. He pressed him against the wall as his hands slid under the shirt of a greedy Elliot. He returned the compliment and pressed harder against him, as if he wanted to weld their bodies together.

James nuzzled Elliot’s neck, kissed his jaw and found his way down his chest. Pulse throbbing in his veins, skin covered by a thin layer of shiny sweat, Elliot moaned softly as he closed his eyes to enjoy the moment. The two men in the dark alley were about to learn what bliss meant. James’ cunning hands found their way down Elliot’s pants and, as he sat on his haunches, James reached for Elliot’s hard shaft. This time, Elliot’s moan was louder. James’ tongue ―teasing and mischievous― snaked over his lover’s purple mushroom head, sliding around the wetness, slowly at first, then speeding his trails. Without warning, James took the whole length in his mouth. Elliot almost collapsed from pleasure as his knees buckled underneath him. He put both hands on James’ head to regain his balance and bit his lip so hard blood welled up.

James’ head went up and down as he caressed Elliot’s tender sack at the same time, fondling him gently. He carried on faster and faster until a shot of creamy come spread out in his mouth. He sucked him until the last drop. Elliot looked at him, mouth open, eyes moist, completely lost in the aftershocks of his orgasm. James got up, readjusted Elliot and kissed him lightly on his swollen lips. He placed a piece of paper with his phone number on it in his trembling palm. “Call me” were his last words before leaving the ADA in the alley, still dizzy with bliss
.
James had taken his bike and went home.

Afterwards, he had thought it was a bit dangerous and silly of him to take the ADA behind the bar for sex but Elliot hadn't stopped him. He even called him the week after.

They’d started to meet in bars every week. After a few times, the quick encounters grew old and they ended up in James’ small apartment. He was Elliot’s first gay lover and James took the opportunity to teach him all he knew about gay sex. The time to go to university finally came. They’d split apart without hard feelings and James never heard from Elliot again. Those few months had been the longest relationship James had ever had.

Since then, James had only had one night stands. He’d done all he could to be as discreet as possible as a marine. Even if his brothers knew he was gay, he didn’t hide it but he didn’t advertise it either. They'd still had to follow the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” rule at the time. He had passed through life these last few years with quick, hard fucks.

Having the sexy man sleeping next to him excited him nicely. He liked the faint lemony scent of David who used his arm as a pillow and leaned against James. The heat the memories had brought on, combined with David’s heavy head on James’ partly naked arm, sent a sting of sharp desire to his lower back. Images of their naked bodies, tangled together, sweaty in the frenzy of love making, popped up in his mind.

James sighed heavily. This was going to be one damn long flight.