A New Dream [Dreams: 1] (5 page)

C
hapter 7 –
D
avid:
Revelation

I
t occurred to David that a big change had operated within him. He felt he should be more shocked. After all, he had just been caressed by another man! And what a man that was…he used to be attracted to women only, their soft curves and supple skin. Instead of that, he woke up next to strong muscles and rough hands.

David dressed quickly, frowning. He was discomfited but not as much as he thought he normally would have been. He had sensed the attraction between them since the flight. To be honest, when he had woken up, he had thought he was still caught up in a dream. He had been dreaming of their glistening hot skins, rubbing against each other. Flashes of his erotic dream came back and he groaned. Their joined hands, their bodies pressed together…and the dream had come true.

He was mostly shy when it came to the bedroom, but back there it was as if everything had vanished and it was just two men―deeply in lust―alone in the world. He ran a hand through his hair, messing it a bit more. Glancing in the mirror, he saw that he truly looked like he had just hopped out of bed. And not from having slept in it either…

But, what was the matter? Bo had seen everything, even what he should have ignored, and James was still in his bed so…
Fortunately, I can't die from shame.

He still felt incredibly awkward. He had loved his wife immensely, her soul as much as her body. But they had been friends more than passionate lovers. And he had to admit, even if it was only to be true to himself, that he appreciated the beauty in women and men indifferently and didn’t care about their sexuality. He had never questioned his own, though. He loved people, even if the only person he had talked to lately was his dead wife.

He had liked socializing in his job, but also during his free time. He made good friends among people he saw every day or at least twice or three times a week. The baker, Ludo, and his wife, Céline, were two great friends with whom they had played cards once a month. The florist, Audrey, the grocer, Nicole, and even Damien, his banker, were all close friends. They used to party every week or so but since Suzanne was gone he didn’t have the energy left for it. He had retreated into a hard shell, not letting anyone come in.

Audrey had been the only one to persist. She was married to a firefighter and was often alone. She had offered to go out, just as friends. But he had pushed her away like the others. He had an inkling her son was in love with Jenny but he hadn't paid much attention. He had wanted to stay in his den and wait until everyone grew tired of trying. And they did.

But now that he had taken his life back on track, and had decided to make a fresh start, he was troubled. How could James be attracted to him? What did he find in him? He knew perfectly well why he himself was attracted to James. His warm soft skin and rippling muscles under his fingers, his gorgeous grey eyes, filled with lust and passion and...
oh non
,
now I got it up again!
He needed to calm down before he went to have dinner with his boss. Oh, sorry, his
bosses
!
Isn’t there a conflict of interest in going out with my boss? Hmm, let’s think about that later, we’re not there yet.
David needed to focus and not jump to conclusions.

I’ve been straight throughout my life. Does it mean I’ve been secretly gay my whole life, if I’m now attracted to only one man? Or can I just be gay for one person? And do I really want to be gay? More importantly, do I have any choice? I might be bisexual…or only curious?
All these questions were driving him crazy. He closed the doors to his consciousness, had a last look at his face before he took a deep breath and headed out the bathroom.

He was relieved to find James had left. He needed some time to recover before he had to face him. As he closed the door behind him and made his way downstairs, he thought how lucky he had been to find this job with the flat included. The furniture was second-hand but nice enough; the flat itself had been renovated, which had made the apartment quite bright. They shared the same tastes in decoration and he felt like he was at home already, except for the fact that by now he missed his kids. He joined the two men thinking about Jenny and Jules.

He had walked in on an ongoing conversation…about him.
Charming. It’s always nice to feel the love.
He thought mockingly. It reminded him of the time he came to a bar in the Pays Basque. He had heard loud laughs coming from inside but when he entered, everyone fell silent and looked at him. He felt pretty much as uncomfortable now as he did that day. He smiled to himself. How ironic. Different bars, different countries but still the same language barrier. He was still a stranger among friends with a common language. Well, except for the fact he had almost met Mini-James in person. And his own Junior was reanimated by the mere thought of seeing Mini-James.
Calm down, teen in heat! Unbelievable, not even gay and soon I’d jump the guy!
Not even gay? Yeah, not sure about that! Now he had to step in the ring and bravely face the lions.

“Hey, ya haven’t served, rite?” Bo chuckled. “Our drill sergeant would've given ya fifty push-ups for being late, ya know!”

“Late?” he asked, looking alternatively at James and Bo. So much for bravely facing the lions… And God was it difficult to understand the guy. He should get used to his accent and quickly!

“He said thirty seconds to meet him downstairs,” James winked with a shy smile.

It’s not like him to be shy,
David thought.
Yeah right,
he chastised himself.
As if you would know what’s like him or not.
He really should stop talking to himself and shut down these voices in his head.

“Oh, I did my compulsory military service, like everyone else. It was still ongoing in my time.” He smiled. “But it was not really my thing, sorry. I worked for the mess, managing the kitchen. It was quiet actually and we laughed a lot but I didn’t like it when officers yelled at us all the time.”

“Tell me ya not one of dose anti-militarists.” Bo smirked as he picked up three plates and led the men through the kitchen to one of the tables in the bar.

“No way. If armies didn’t exist, there would be anarchy. We need them to support governments and bring back peace when needed.” Bo and James nodded at the same time. He knew they would respect that. What did they say?
Semper fidelis
. Always loyal. Always true to your brothers in arms, country and beliefs. He wouldn’t shake a red flag in front of them trying to convince them of the contrary.

He distracted them with questions about life as soldiers and they chatted nicely as they started the meal. They had creamy mash potatoes with a steak and green beans. Amazingly good.

“Far be it from me to shoot myself in the foot, but why did you hire me? Why wouldn’t you cook here, when you’re that talented in a kitchen?” he asked Bo.

“It’s only a hobby of mine. I love food, especially good food. But I’ve got many other din's ta do. Besides, ya won’t work in de kitchen all de time. Danny, de waiter, will help ya durin' service and Jet will work behind de bar when ya with Sin, who is employed as a sous-chef. But ya be mostly stuck behind de bar anyway, managin, doin administration and organizin' de gigs. In ya resume, it mentioned de time ya worked with ya parents in deir restaurant.” Bo was watching him intensely, as if waiting for David to sell himself. He tried not to be too self-conscious.

“Yes, they had a bar and restaurant when I was a kid. I used to work there all the time during the holidays. We were in a small town so it doesn't compare with this place, in terms of size, but it was friendly and we had music gigs too. I loved the atmosphere. Guys would come and watch rugby matches on the huge TV screen and girls would come in flocks, giggling as they got drunk every Saturday night. It was a lot of fun; I loved working there. I guess it works here a bit like my parents’ old place.”

“I guess so. Anyway, I’ll be here to guide ya over de first few weeks. When I first bought de bar, dere were some people in place so I tried to make it work with dem. But it didn’t work as I wanted so I fired everyone and started over. I called Jay to help me with it and da rest is history, as dey say.” He sighed.

“It might seem a bit harsh ta fire everyone but it’s a business; I don’t want us ta lose money because of lazy asses. So, now, ya gotta help us make this work. It’s not some kinda romantic idea of ownin' a nice bar like de Central Perk in Friends, okay? Dis is a business and we have ta work hand in hand to make dis worth da investment, both emotionally and financially.” His face was harder now and David could see how important it was for him. He had a way of convincing people they could do it that was startling.

David nodded. He knew he could do it. He knew how this worked. He had done it so many times that he could still serve blindfolded. At one point, he had wanted to make it his permanent job and his parents would have loved him take over the business. But he wanted to fight for what he got, not have it all cooked and ready to be served on a silver platter. Now was the time.

They talked about the bar and what they would do with it. They spoke about music and the groups they would hire. What kind of music they’d like to hear and they reached an agreement on soft jazz, blues, rock and pop-rock. Besides, it would be a nice place for the different communities in the neighborhood. Bo and James wanted to offer the many different immigrants a place to spend some time together, outside of their usual social circles. Obviously, it was meant to be a gay-friendly bar and David could see that homophobia wouldn’t be a problem, as far as Bo was concerned. He looked pretty open-minded, even after he had caught them in David’s bed. David blushed at the memory.

Actually, incredibly flustering was the fact that he was far more distressed about being caught by his boss than by the act in itself. Yeah, he needed to give some more thought to that. It was a revelation to him.

C
hapter 8 –
J
ames:
Unbearable tension

T
ime had passed so quickly the night was over before he had even noticed it. It had been full of tension and, for the life of him, he hadn’t been able to stop staring at David. Do you remember Tex Avery’s wolf, eyes bulging and tongue dripping on the floor? Well, that was James in front of David when he came into the kitchen where Bo and James had waited for him. Bo had snickered discreetly but James had heard him nevertheless. He sighed, thinking about it.

When, at last, they finished eating, James had seen Bo to the parking lot. David was gone by the time he came back to the bar. He switched the lights and went upstairs, wincing. His knee was a pain tonight. He was fortunate to not suffer permanently; it could have been much worse but the meds he was on were effective. Tonight though, each step sent shots of electricity to his kneecap.

Arriving on the first floor, he knocked at David’s door. When the only answer he received was complete silence, he sighed again. He was disappointed but could understand why David didn’t want to see him any more tonight. He had to take his distance as well. He wondered for a moment whether he should go to bed directly or go out and have some fun. In the past, the Fritz Lounge, a jock bar on Chandler Street, was his favorite spot. But he heard the owner had changed and he didn’t know what replaced it yet. It might be worth the effort.

He yawned widely. No, it would have to wait. He was too tired, he suffered too much and, to be honest, he had his plate full with David. He was unsure what to do next. He didn’t want to spook him but he didn’t want to count on him for the next move either. He wanted him. Badly. He didn’t only want his body; he wanted to show him his deepest desires, those which had haunted James’ memory for a long time.

Before the army, he’d had his fair share of one-night stands. Scratch that, he'd had an epic share. He used to go a lot to Ramrod, the leather club on Boylston Street. He would dance in the nightclub next door, Machine, surrounded by twinks and gogo dancers, and, when the need became overwhelming, he would cross the corridor linking the nightclub to the leather club and roam the back rooms, shirtless.

Entering his own apartment, he remembered all those nights, spent with faceless bodies and nameless souls. He wasn’t into the lifestyle, but he liked the atmosphere of the leather club. All of it was so enticing: leather cuffs around male wrists, the heat, the smell…oh God, the smell. Sweat, lust, sex and quick fucks in dark corners. He felt his hardness in his pants and pressed the palm of his hand to the bulge.

First things first. He took his pills to diminish the pain in his knee, then plopped down on the sofa and freed Lil’ Jimmy. He cradled his head in his hand and let his mind wander, sliding his other hand over his already leaking manhood. He pictured David’s body ―pale as alabaster, lean and tall― his hands on the wall and his ass up in the air. Behind closed eyes, he could see how the cheeks would contract with each thrust. He could almost feel his own hips ramming into David’s body, fast and furious until he’d cover his flushed skin with his white cream. His hand accelerated and he was already close to release. Long gone, the time he could wait hours before shooting his load…

But it was the fault of his hot memories. His young days had been a succession of sizzling sex and remembering those moments had added fuel to his already lustful mind. He could barely breathe, putting David in place of his reminiscences. He tried to stifle his moan, not knowing yet if he could be overheard. He bit his lip, trying to delay what was bound to happen. The flow of images kept coming to him. He visualized David’s mouth, slightly opened, his eyes heavy with lust, a single drop of sweat dripping from his forehead to the side of his face and along his jaw. All he wanted was to touch him, slide his hand in his hair, damp with sweat, and clench his fist in it while crushing their mouths together. One last stroke and he felt flows of hot white semen spurt onto his stomach. He bit the cushion with force, panting hard in the silent room. It took him some time to recover.

When he felt calm enough, he got up from the sofa and went to the bathroom where he cleaned up with a hot washcloth. Spent, he needed to sleep. The trip, the almost unbearable tension between David and him, and the weariness of these past few days had him exhausted. He was ready to fall into the arms of Morpheus.

The room was now nicely warm, thanks to the air con. They had announced another wave of cold weather for the next few days and, even if he liked the freshness of the spring mornings in Boston, he could do with a little more heat. Still, he loved to be able to say which season it was just by looking out the window. He couldn’t live in Florida like his friend Rick, where the only temperatures were “hot” and “hotter”, regardless of whether it was summer or winter. Here, he loved the colors of the leaves in the fall, the white landscapes in winter, the buzz of bugs and the flowers in spring and the reasonable heat in summer. He couldn’t live elsewhere. He knew; he had tried.

Now, though, he needed more heat. He wanted the sun to chase the clouds from his mind. He was troubled and didn’t like it. James’ goal was to seduce David. On the other hand, he could see the man was fragile and he didn’t want to shake him to the core. James knew he could be cynical and, much worse, a jaded prick at times.

He had seen a lot in his life and could be seen as coldblooded. He saw love in David’s eyes when he had talked about his wife on the plane. He was obviously a romantic and, if he was ever able to lure the cute Frenchie into the darkness of his soul, he would be corrupted for life. No, James wasn’t good enough for him. He was fucked up. He didn’t know what the word trust meant, not anymore. And love? No, thank you very much.

He sighed. He had seen what had happened with his dear mother, how love killed her. He knew his heart was locked in a vault, deeply protected by stone walls. So, he needed to convince the man they could have fun together, be fuck buddies for some time, but that was about it. It couldn’t be anything more. No, he wouldn’t risk anything for a fling.

He fell asleep on the somber thoughts.

****

T
he morning after, he was determined to not let anyone or anything stop him. He was a Marine after all and he wouldn’t let his nightmares and fears…
Wait! What? Fears? I’m not afraid of anything! Not even the L word…nope.
He had yet to convince himself.

He had this weird feeling he was about to do something deeply wrong, although he was convinced he had to warn David their
thing
couldn’t last. But, to have something to last, it would have to start first.

He went into the bathroom, his coffee in hand, for a shave. He spread shaving cream over his rough skin, the crisp sound echoing in the empty room. He tried to let the stress drain out of his body as he focused on the blades slowly gliding over his jaw and cheeks. The mesmerizing sound of water dripping into the half-full sink, regular as Hawaiian drums on the beach. In a half trance already, he stepped under the shower. The hot stream ran rhythmically over his hair and body, ending its course on the tiles. Drop after drop, each one resonated in the shower stall, calming him with the steady rhythm. He was now in full trance, completely hypnotized by the water pouring on his back. He let the water rinse the suds off his flushed skin. He relaxed under the water as he focused on the noise around him, hands pressed against the wall, his head resting on an arm, the slight pop of soap bubbles releasing the fresh aroma of his shower gel. He was transfixed by the sensations as he stood there, eyes closed―enjoying his alone time for a change―for at least another ten minutes.

He couldn’t remember getting out of the shower or getting dressed and found himself sitting on the bed. The trance he went in during his shower had left him calmer than ever. He used to use this trick a lot when situations overwhelmed him.

He was relieved, happy. He had succeeded.

He wasn’t feeling anything anymore.

In this state of mind, he took off via the underground parking lot and disappeared for the day, far away from what his heart dictated. His head had won this battle.