Afterthoughts (5 page)

At the end of his eight grade year, he
had covered the door handle of Anthony’s BMW with Vaseline. He
laughed so hard that he rolled across the front yard while watching
Anthony try to figure out what was wrong with the door. Anthony
never did figure it out until Richie finally told him about a year
later, when he felt he was safe from being grounded from his video
games.

Paige was loading the dishes in the
dishwasher when Aileen walked in.

“
I’ll stay again tonight
so we can get Sarah ready for the funeral in the morning,” Paige
said softly.

“
Thank you, Paige. You
have been a true godsend.” Aileen hugged her tightly.

“
I just need to run home
to pick up a few things after we get her settled down tonight.”
Paige sighed, cleared her throat, and paused for a moment before
she said, “I know a great therapist. I’m sure he would be glad to
see Sarah. Do you think we can get her to go?”

“
I think we have to force
her to,” Aileen responded, making Paige feel relieved for making
the suggestion. “I don’t think she can cope with all of this. At
least when Anthony died she was occupied for a few days with trying
to find his killer. I think this took what was left of her.” Aileen
wrung the dishtowel between her hands.

“
I’ll give him a call this
afternoon. I’m sure he will see her right away.” Paige hugged her.
“I just wish there was something I could do to make this all go
away. I will promise you this; I will get to the bottom of it all.
That’s the only way Sarah will have any peace.”

Paige finished helping
Aileen clean up the kitchen then walked to Sarah’s bedroom to check
on her. Sarah was sitting in a chair by the window, looking out.
Paige watched her as she stared, not moving, barely breathing.
“
What’s going on in her head?”
Paige wondered.

Sarah was there for Paige just over a
year ago. Paige had disappeared.

After missing for two months, she was
found in a ditch fifteen miles outside of Louisville, Kentucky,
only five miles away from Paige’s home.

She was starved, beaten, and dirty
with no memory of anything—not even the past day. Sarah had taken
Paige into her home and over the next year, nursed her back to
health. Sarah worked hard to gain Paige’s trust and friendship and
tried desperately to help her remember her life. With counseling
and time, Paige began to remember her past with one exception. She
could not remember the two months when she had been kidnapped. It
didn’t matter what therapy techniques were used. Dr. Southerland
tried hypnosis and talked to her about things that could have
possibly happened to her during her disappearance.

As much as Paige wanted to try to
remember, she couldn’t. The only thing she was sure of was that she
had been severely abused. Her wrists and ankles had deep rope burns
and her face was bruised and swollen almost past recognition when
she was found.

She decided that it was probably
better not to remember anything except the love and friendship that
Sarah had given her. They were best friends and more like sisters
than true sisters could ever be. She wondered what she could do to
even begin to return the favor. Could Sarah forget the pain and go
on? She couldn’t see how.

Paige walked over to the window and
knelt down in front of Sarah.

She picked the afghan up out of the
floor and placed it back in Sarah’s lap. She took Sarah’s face in
her hand and looked her in the eyes. Her pale blue eyes didn’t
respond.

“
Sarah, I’m here. I’ll
always be here for you. I love you!” There was only a faint smile
from Sarah. “Remember being there for me, Sarah?

Remember all of the crying sessions?
Remember all of the fights over which of us liked Andy Smith the
most? Gee, we were nuts over that guy. But he was the most gorgeous
thing in High School!” She smiled and squeezed Sarah’s hand. She
saw Sarah’s eyes light up and make contact, but only for a moment.
Sarah wasn’t completely gone yet.

There was hope. “Do you remember the
night you were out with Sam and I had to cover for you?” Paige
forced a laugh. “I told Mom that I had just left you at the mall
when you were really in Sam’s car?” Sarah turned her head back
toward the window.

With a small sigh of
defeat, Paige sat down in the chair opposite from Sarah and glanced
out of the window. She could see the beautiful fields lined with
perfect black fences and horses grazing lazily in the sunshine.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your only cares in the world were
which spot of grass to eat next?” Paige half whispered. She could
see Harry exploring the fence line and chasing a rabbit that had
been disturbed by his presence. He really enjoyed being on the
farm. Watching out of the window for a few moments longer, she saw
someone duck behind the barn. She strained to see who it was. Harry
seemed unaware of the intruder. She dismissed the thought.
“Maybe it was just a worker,”
she tried to convince herself as she watched from the window.
Finally giving up, she hugged Sarah tightly, kissed her on the
cheek, and promised to come back and sit with her for a while later
in the afternoon.

Paige left the room and walked out to
the front porch swing. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket
and called Dr. Southerland to set up an appointment for next week.
When he agreed, she closed her phone and glanced out at the farm.
She watched the trees sway in the breeze. The darkening sky warned
of an approaching storm and she listened to the thunder in the
background. The weather had warmed considerably since the night
Richie killed himself.

She looked out over the rolling fields
of Aileen and Jones Childers’ horse farm. “Such a beautiful place,
totally at peace with the world. It’s hard to believe this farm is
so close to the city,” Paige said to Aileen as she stepped onto the
front porch, carrying two tall glasses of iced tea.

“
Thank you,” she said as
she took a glass from Aileen’s hand.

“
We love it out here. It’s
a lot of work, but when you sit on this porch and look around, it
makes it all worth it.” Aileen joined her on the swing. “During the
Derby it gets a little crazy though. Everyone is busy mowing and
planting flowers and shrubs. But when the farm is in tip top shape
for all of the visitors, it’s just like a movie. We are so proud of
this place. We have a lot of fantastic people working
here.”

“
I can only imagine! I’d
like to come out here in the spring and see what it’s like then,”
she smiled at Aileen and took a long drink of her tea. She looked
around at all of the beautiful landscaping. Paige could only
imagine how magnificent the long driveway must be in early spring.
It was lined with Bradford Pear trees on both sides with Dogwood
trees lining the fence that ran parallel with the
driveway.

Scattered beneath the trees were
begonias of every imaginable color planted so they looked like
stained glass windows along the way. The edges of the begonias were
lined with bright yellow marigolds that seemed to breathe sunshine
all the way down the drive. This all led up to a glorious statue of
a thoroughbred and its groomer. The groomer was holding a curry
comb in one hand and a hose in the other that had water cascading
over the back of the horse to land in a beautiful pool teeming with
koi. Paige fought back the urge to get up and walk over to the
statue. She wanted desperately to run her hand through the water
and watch it as it ran down her arm. She imagined her hands filling
up and water spilling over as she cupped them under the
hose.

Her hands … she remembered them
tightly gripping around his neck.

“
No!”
a voice screamed from inside her causing her to jump just as
lighting flashed in the distance.

Trying to gather her thoughts, Paige
sat in silence for a few moments, watching the storm creep closer
and feeling the breeze pick up. They watched as the horses in the
fields started running around, excited by the upcoming weather. The
workers were busy trying to bring them to the barn and put away
their equipment. Harry ran to the house quickly and lay down on the
woven welcome mat at front of the door.

“
How are you Paige?”
Aileen asked quietly, breaking Paige’s trance.

“
I’m as good as can be
expected, I guess. I just wish I could help Sarah. I don’t have a
clue what to say or do. If only I could make it all go away for
her. Bring them back somehow. I can’t even figure out what’s
happened,” Paige said helplessly, trying to ignore the vision she
had just had.

“
What did that
mean?”
she asked herself.
“Why were my hands around Anthony’s
throat?”

“
Just being here for her
is enough right now. She knows you’re here and that she’s not
alone.” Aileen placed her hand on Paige’s arm as a small blue
Corvette started up the driveway toward the house. Paige recognized
Jay’s car. Wanting to step away from Aileen and clear her head, she
stood to walk toward the drive.

She was waiting as Jay parked and
climbed out of the car. “Howdy partner!” he nodded in her
direction, pretending to tip his nonexistent cowboy hat.

“
Hey there you! Mighty
long drive you took to come see little ol’ me!” Paige said with an
exaggerated southern drawl and batting her eyelashes. She felt good
teasing with Jay this way. It was the first time she genuinely
smiled in days. “What’s up?” she said as she was suddenly afraid
the conversation was about to get serious.

“
I just wanted to come out
and check on you guys. See how things are going and if you need any
help with anything.” He walked around the side of the car to stand
by her.

Paige was so glad to see his handsome
face and to know that he was there as a friend, not a detective.
“It’s going … I’m really worried about Sarah,” she said, quickly
avoiding any conversation about herself.

“
Aileen and I were just
talking about sending her to Dr. Southerland. I’ve just made an
appointment for her next week. She barely exists. She doesn’t eat
or talk. We have to force her to clean up and go to bed. I think
she’d wither away sitting in that chair by the window.” Paige
pointed to the house at the window where Sarah was
sitting.

“
I’m so sorry, Paige. I
hate to see you all going through this.” Jay pulled her into his
arms and gave her a soft hug. “I’m here if you need me.”

“
Thank you. That means so
much.” She started to hug him tighter just as a loud
boom
rang out as
lightning struck a tree less than a half mile away. “Come on, we
better get inside.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the
house. As she started to move, her head began to spin. Flashes of
light and images began to rush through her mind.

She could see herself in a dark room
where she could only see one small boarded window that had light
only as lightning flashed outside.

She was frozen still. Bound by
something she didn’t understand. Terror overtook her. “I can’t
move!” she screamed. She could feel someone hit her across her
face. The pain overtook her senses and her head began to spin. She
could feel someone standing over her and could hear a slow,
deliberate laugh.

Then she collapsed. Jay caught her in
his arms before she could hit the ground. “Paige, are you okay?” He
scooped her into his arms and carried her toward the
house.

Aileen, who was still sitting on the
porch swing, saw everything.

She rushed to help Jay get her inside
and lay her on the sofa. As she ran to get a damp towel and a glass
of water, Jay rubbed Paige’s arm and squeezed her hand. “Come on
Paige, talk to me … Talk to me!”

When Paige gained consciousness, she
found Jay leaning over her, stroking her hair. “Feeling
better?”

“
What happened?” she asked
nervously, feeling as if her head would explode along with the
thunder crashing outside. She reached up to rub her
temples.

“
I don’t know. You just
fainted.” Jay handed her the wash cloth which she gratefully took
and washed her face with it.

Paige rubbed her head for a moment and
began to remember her vision. She told him about everything she
could remember about the window, being hit, the laugh, and the
lightning.

Paige started to talk. “I wonder if I
… could I be?” She began to tremble.

“
Do you think you are
remembering those months, Paige?” he questioned as he took her
hand. “Do you think you could have been locked away in a room like
that? Did you recognize the laugh?”

“
I don’t know. All I know
right now is that I need a glass of water.”

She slowly sat up on the edge of the
couch taking the glass Jay had in his other hand. After a good long
drink she said, “If I were in a room like that, I don’t want to
remember it.” Paige stood. With shaky knees, she walked toward the
large picture window in the living room and watched the storm
raging on outside.

She thought about how different the
farm looked now. It was no longer warm and inviting but cold and
volatile. She hated to think of the beating all of the beautiful
flowers were taking now and wondered what it would take to clean up
after such a storm on a farm this size.