All For Anna (41 page)

“I’ll
help you,” Kai said.

Everyone
stopped and looked at Kai, including Jack, who smirked at the suggestion. I
stared at him, contemplating his offer. I weighed the risk/reward of a late
night spent with him in my sister’s kitchen, baking with me. It was quite
possibly more idiotic than Jack’s comment only a moment earlier.

But
what were my options really?

I
didn’t let myself think of any. I agreed, and minutes later I was taking out
the supplies and laying them on the counter top. Jack stopped in the doorway,
leaning his body against one side of it.

“How
were you planning on getting home?” Jack asked Kai.

“Hmm...Well,
Briggs said he’d pick me up, but I better let him know it’s going to be later
than I thought. I forgot I didn’t have my truck here,” Kai said.

“Well,
why don’t you just stay over? The roads are only going to re-freeze tonight and
I have to take off in the morning anyway. I can just drop you at home. Stacie’s
already laid out a pillow and blanket for you on the sofa bed,” Jack said.

Kai
looked at me, unwilling to answer such a question without my approval. I
swallowed hard, trying to calm my nerves as both men waited for me to speak.

“That’s
fine with me,” I lied.

“Great,
I’ll plan on leaving here around eight, will that work for you?” Jack asked
him.

“Sure,
that’s sounds great. Thanks, Jack.”

For
the next hour we mixed and measured, turning Stacie’s immaculate kitchen into a
floury mess. Kai was a great help, always reaching for the next ingredient to
add before I asked for it. As he put the last pan in the oven, I started on the
icing.

I felt
myself growing delirious in the late-night hour. I laughed at silly concepts,
depicting the names and usages of all the herbs and spices Stacie had stacked
in her pantry. Kai was no better. After the stress-filled day we had
shared—each in our own way—laughter had proven the best remedy.

“I
think we should add this to a portion of that icing, make it like a secret
taste test. The winner can get a prize or something if she guesses it right,”
Kai said, holding up a small jar of turmeric.

I
laughed till my eyes watered. Batting his hand away as he hovered dangerously
close to my perfect vanilla icing, I was a crying mess of giggles.

“The
only prize for that poor
winner
would be a barf bag, Kai. That would be
so disgusting!”

He
laughed too, pulling himself up to sit on the counter near my mixer. His face
grew serious as he watched me add the pink food coloring drops to the mix. I
glanced up only once and then determined to keep my eyes away from his face. My
late-night filter remained uncensored, however.

“This
is so odd,” I said.

“What
is?”

“Baking
with
you,” I said, “I only started all this to get over you.”

He
stopped the whisk in my hand, careful not to touch my skin.

“And
how did that work out?” he asked.

“You
already know how it
worked out
,
Kai.”

“No, I
only know how I
hope
it will work out, Tori...that’s all.” He hopped off
the counter and walked toward the window.

I
leaned onto the counter and took a deep breath, trying to slow my heart rate.

This
was a bad idea.

I
whisked for a minute more, alone in the kitchen.

I
nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard his excited whisper break through the
silence.

“Tori
come here! Quick!”

I
dropped the whisk in the sink and hurried to his side. He grabbed my hand and
pulled me out the front door. My mouth gaped open as I felt the large soft
flakes hit my hair and face. My t-shirt was certainly not the best attire for
this sub-freezing event, but for once I didn’t care about the cold. The snow
was breathtaking. Ice was fairly commonplace for winters in Dallas, but snow
was a rarity, one that was met with the excitement of many.

Kai’s
smile was huge as he held out his hand to catch the snowflakes. I shivered,
laughing at the sight of this large Samoan man catching snow in Dallas, Texas.

“I’ve
only seen snow a few times. In Samoa there was nothing to compare it to...I
couldn’t even understand the concept, until I felt it for the first time,” he
said, joy exuding from him.

I
smiled, as I shivered harder. He looked at me, a realization coming over him.

“I had
nothing to compare
love
to either, before you, before I felt it for the
first time,” he said.

He
scattered the snow in his hand, wiping the remaining moisture onto his pants. I
stared at him. I knew he wanted to kiss me. I knew, because I wanted to kiss
him, too. The moment was too beautiful to ignore.

But
instead, he took my hand and led me back inside, grabbing the afghan from the
chair and wrapping it around my shoulders.

“I’ll
clean up...you should head to bed,” he said.

“But
you’ve had an even longer day than I-”

“No.
Please, let me do this. Go get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

With
that, our evening had come to an end. I crept up the stairs feeling a mix of
relief and disappointment. I snuggled into bed, thinking of him downstairs. 

The
picture of Kai holding snow in his palm was the last thought I had before
drifting off to sleep.

**********

The
morning brought with it a whirlwind of
busy
. I frosted cupcakes and
arranged them on two large serving platters. Due to the frosting I couldn’t
wrap them. I prayed they would survive the drive, and not end up a mess of pink
frosting and fuzzy floor mats. Each tray held twenty-four cupcakes.

Jack
had offered us the use of his Jeep. It had more room in the back to carry the
cupcakes and shower gifts Stacie would be receiving. It would also have much
better traction for ice.

The
only disadvantage was it was parked out front on the street, while Stacie’s car
would have meant a warm and toasty walk into the garage.

Both
Jack and Kai were concerned about letting us drive to our parent’s house with
the re-freeze last night. They went over the road reports in detail,
researching the best route online with the department of transportation. We had
to promise to stick to their approved route—we both gave our girl scout’s honor.

The
city had been working overnight to de-ice the well-traveled roads and highways
to avoid further catastrophes, like the one yesterday. I would be driving since
Stacie was too round to fit behind the wheel comfortably.

“So,
where are you off to today while your wife is being pampered in pink?” I asked
Jack who was drinking a cup of coffee.

“I’m
gonna head to Fort Worth, to a pro ice hockey game. An old college buddy has a
brother in the league. He gave us free tickets. There’s some Guinness World
Record attempt going on before the game starts, too. Should be fun,” Jack said.

“What
kind of world record attempt is it?” I asked, pulling my tall boot on by the
door, noticing Kai’s eyes on me.

“To
break the world’s longest conga line on an ice rink,” he said.

Kai
and I busted up laughing. Only Jack would find this so entertaining.

“And
you think that’s more fun than eating cupcakes and playing baby shower games?”
I asked.

Jack rolled
his eyes at me, tipping his coffee cup toward the ceiling as he emptied it.

“Are
you ready to go?” Jack asked Kai.

“I’m
ready to get into my own clothes, yes,” Kai laughed, looking down at his
borrowed wardrobe.

Kai
blocked Jack’s friendly jab to the gut and they both headed toward the garage
door at the back of the kitchen. As Jack went into the garage, Kai stayed
behind.

“I had
a really good time last night, Tori. Thank you for being a friend. I really
needed one,” Kai said.

He was
so handsome, even in Jack’s borrowed clothes. His hair was still ruffled from
sleep, making him more adorable than ever. I wished it was possible to only be
his
friend
, but I knew better.

“Thanks
for your help with the cupcakes, you saved my bacon,” I said.

He
smiled wide, “I’d save your bacon any day of the week, Victoria Sales. Have fun
with your sister today. Call if you need anything and
please
drive
carefully.”

I
nodded, refraining from rolling my eyes, "I will, enjoy your day off.”

A
minute after Kai closed the door, Jack was back with a pile of mail in his
arms.

“Stacie’s
been hoarding mail in her car again. I keep telling her that I can’t pay the
bills if I don’t know we have them...I don’t think she believes me,” he
laughed, shaking his head. He threw the pile on the counter before leaving
again.

I made
a pot of oatmeal, being sure to make enough for Stacie, too. It was a new
obsession of hers, although I wasn’t sure if it was the brown sugar or the
oatmeal that was her latest craving. I poured the last of the coffee and sat on
the bar stool at the counter. A large yellow packet caught my eye. Within the
mix of envelopes that Jack had brought inside was the packet I had been waiting
for.

I
lifted it from the pile, opening the tab in the back and sliding out the contents.
An acceptance letter was on top. I scanned it over, suddenly feeling my
appetite disappear. I dropped my spoon back into my bowl, pushing it aside to
read through the pages.

I had
met all the criteria. All there was left to do was submit my completed
immunization record with the required vaccines and a phone interview. I was so
engrossed in the reading that I didn’t hear Stacie enter the kitchen.

“Whatcha
reading over there?” Stacie asked, walking toward her bowl of oatmeal.

A cold
sensation crept over me. I felt ill. I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want to
tell the truth either, not today. I gathered the papers up quickly, pushing my
stool out as I stood.

“Oh...nothing
much,” I said.

Stacie’s
face was inquisitive; she looked from the stack of papers in my hand to my face
and back. She was not a skeptical person by nature, but my face must have given
something away. Without taking her eyes from me, she snatched the large empty
envelope from the counter, reading the words aloud.

“Consider
Africa—a nursing exchange program.”

I
swallowed hard. Caught like a deer in headlights I was frozen, waiting for
impact.

Her
face grew dark, shadowing her delicate features. She lay the envelope back down
and picked up her bowl, walking into the living room. I was suddenly nauseous.
There was no way out, no excuse that could fix this. I took a deep breath and
walked into the room.

She
sat staring into her bowl, taking slow bites.

“I was
going to tell you, Stace. I just didn’t want to distract from the baby,” I said,
realizing how stupid it sounded the instant I spoke it aloud.

She
looked from her bowl to my face. Her eyes were hard.

“Don’t.
Don’t you use my baby as an excuse, Tori.” She set down her bowl with a clank
“When? When are you leaving this time?”

Her sharp
tone was startling. I hesitated to answer her. This conversation was quickly
plummeting from bad to worse.

“In
five weeks,” I said quietly.

“Five
weeks? You are moving to Africa in
five
weeks
and I am just now
hearing about it? How long were you planning on keeping this a secret, Tori?
Was I just going to wake up one day and you’d be gone, halfway around the
world?”

“No. I
wasn’t sure when I was going to tell you exactly, but I was going to tell you.
I just got accepted. It wasn’t even for sure until I got this today,” I said,
raising the paperwork slowly.

She
shook her head. “I thought we were past this...I thought we had finally gotten
to a place where we didn’t hide secrets from each other, where you felt you
could be
honest
with me. I guess the joke’s on me, huh?” Stacie stood,
bracing her back with her hands to counter the weight of her belly.

“I...I’m
sorry-”

“You’re
always
sorry
, but nothing ever changes! Don’t you care about your niece,
or are you too selfish to realize that other people might actually want you
around?”

I
closed my eyes. That hurt.

“It’s
only for a year,” I said.

She
looked at me again, this time with sadness. As she walked past me into the
kitchen I heard her say, “Perfect, that’s just perfect.”

Stacie
milled around the house for the next hour, saying nothing. Picking up pillows
and dusting off tables, she was in nesting-mode, again—angry nesting mode. I
went upstairs to grab my purse, throwing my phone inside it. I heard something
crinkle in the bottom of it.