Awaken Me (The Jaded Series Book 4) (32 page)

“Pants,” I growl.

I go for my belt and yank it from the loops. Keeping my eyes locked on hers as she pulls her jeans down her legs, I let mine drop to the floor. She leaves her panties on. If you could even call them that. They are white like her bra and covered in lace. And just like the bra, I can see through them. A dark shadow that I know is the thin layer of hair above her pussy makes my mouth water.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I tell her and watch as a stunning blush forms over her cheeks.

My dick bounces as I stalk toward her. She licks her lips when her eyes drop down between my legs. My cock jumps in response, like she just touched it with her lips. We’ll get to that later. There’s something else I want more.

I grab her legs and pull until her ass is at the end of the bed. Her arms stay above her head.

“Keep your legs bent,” I tell her huskily.

My eyes are intense as I bend over her with my arms on either side of her head. She looks absolutely beautiful below me with her green eyes watching me and her thick luscious hair fanned out around her. Her pale skin glows in the low light of the room. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so breathtaking before.

The tip of my dick brushes against her lace-covered pussy, and we both groan. I take a nip at her lips and then soothe my tongue over them. She meets me with hers and we tangle them together. Again, this kiss is soft and sweet, so I don’t let it last long.

Chris rakes her nails down my back. I hiss and arch, fucking loving the bite of her nails.

“I want to touch you, Nick,” she whispers.

I fight back the urge to let her, but I know if I do, it’ll be over before it even begins. And there’s no way I’m coming outside her body.

“Later, baby. There’s something else I need to do first.”

Leaving her delicious lips behind, I trail mine down her neck and across her collar bone. Using one hand, I unclasp her bra and watch as her generous tits spill free. I plump one up and take a stiff nipple in my mouth, twirling the hard numb with my tongue and giving it a little bite.

She moans, and I feel the vibration in her chest, causing my need to ramp up. I switch to the other tit and pay it the same attention. Once they are rock-hard peaks, I kiss my way down the center of her chest, my destination her dripping wet center. I’ve dreamed about tasting her, and now that it’s right there, there’s not a force on earth that’ll stop me from taking what I want.

“Nick,” she moans when I make it to my mark.

I pull her skimpy panties aside and take a moment to look at her pretty pussy. The folds are pink and slick with dampness. I run my finger down the center. She cries out and bucks her hips, making me feel like I’m the king of the fucking world. I yank her panties down her legs and out of my way.

Using my thumb, I spread her wide. Unable to hold back any longer, I take my first swipe and taste fucking heaven. There’s never been a better taste than having Chris in my mouth. I swear my eyes roll back in my head. I moan into her mound, not capable of holding it back.

Her hands fly to my hair and grip it tight. I welcome the burn of her tugging and pulling. I wrap my lips around the little bundle of nerves and suck hard while flicking my tongue. She comes unglued on the bed, bucking her hips and thrashing her head.

“Goddamn, woman, you’re fucking killing me with your taste,” I growl against her pussy.

My dick is hard as steel, and I feel it jump with each beat of my heart. The memory of how tight she felt flashes in my mind and my hands tighten on her legs. The need to get inside her heightens to a point where I can’t ignore it.

I get up from my knees, grab her around the waist to put her further up the bed, and crawl above her. Her hands immediately grab my shoulders, digging her nails in.

“Gonna fuck you now, Sugar. You ready for me?” I ask, my voice unrecognizable to my ears. If she says no, I have no clue what I’m going to do. Actually yes, I do. I’ll weep like a damn baby.

She tries pulling me down to her by my shoulders. “Yes, please, Nick,” she moans. And it’s music to my ears. “I need to feel you.” She emphasizes this by shifting her legs and bringing her hips up to meet mine.

I give her a cocky grin. “You got it, baby.”

I put one hand underneath her ass, angle the tip of my dick at her entrance, and with a shove of my hips and a pull on her ass, I impale her. I groan deep in my throat, while Chris’s eyes roll back in her head and she lets out a loud cry.

“Shit, you feel so fucking good,” I groan, and rest my forehead in the crook of her neck.

She feels so fucking incredibly tight around my dick. I have to hold still for a moment or I’ll explode and it’ll end. Chris obviously has other ideas. She wraps her legs around my waist and digs her heels in my ass, trying to get me deeper.

“More,” she breathes. “Oh, God, Nick. I need more.”

I lift my head, grab a handful of her hair, and bring her face to mine. I nip her bottom lip. “Give me a fucking minute here. Your cunt’s too damn tight. It’ll end right now if I move.”

Her eyes widen and the pupils swallow up the green. Knowing she’s almost beyond control nearly has me losing mine.

I shift one of her legs so it’s over my arm and lean the elbow of the other one by her head. Looking down at her, I bring my hips back and push forward again. I do this slowly a couple times. She watches me, her green eyes sparkling up at me and her mouth open on a silent cry. We both stare at each other. My movements aren’t hard and fast, but instead slow and steady. Something passes between us. Something I know shouldn’t. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and I have to shift my eyes away from her.

Her body clamps down on my cock. I release her leg and get up on my knees. I want to watch as I slide in and out of her. Maybe that will remind me that this is all we’ll ever have. Just two bodies trying to satisfy the others. Even if that makes me a bastard, I can’t give her more than that.

Up on my knees, I look down to where our bodies connect. I plunge my hips forward and watch as my cock disappears into her warm cunt. The sight has my chest rising and falling swiftly. I wish I could stay in this warm haven forever.

I grip her hips and bring them up my thighs. I pull her toward me as I ram forward. Her panting turns to whimpers, then to loud moans. Her tits jiggle with each push forward.

“Play with your nipples, Sugar. I want to see you pinching them for me.”

She complies immediately, squeezing and pinching the tips. When she plumps them together, the temptation before me is too great and I bend down and take one nipple in my mouth while she holds it, before moving on to the next one. They glisten from my mouth when I pull back. I continue to pump into her. Chris cries out and her walls tighten around me, letting me know she’s close. I’m on the edge, feeling my balls drawing up, ready to explode inside her.

I drop back down to my elbows, needing the leverage to fuck her like I want to. I power forward, each of my thrusts stronger than the last. I grit my teeth, not willing to let go until she’s reached her peak.

I lean down and take her lips in a brutal kiss, crushing our lips and teeth together. Her moans leave her mouth and enter mine. I reach down and place a finger on her pulsing clit, applying pressure. Satisfaction storms through me when she rips her lips from mine to release a loud cry.

“Nick!”

“Oh yeah, baby,” I growl down at her and pump my hips harder, my hip bone clashing against the softness of the back of her thighs. “Give it to me. Let me feel you squeeze down on my cock.”

My words and relentless fucking push her over the edge. She screams my name, sending fireworks through my blood, and squeezes my dick so hard I’m surprised it’s still attached to my body.

My balls seize up impossibly tight, and I feel my orgasm rushing down my dick. I throw my head back and groan deep as I release all the pent-up sexual frustration this woman has caused me. I’ve never come so hard in my life. It leaves me feeling dizzy, sated, but wanting, no,
needing
more all at the same time.

I rest my forehead in the crook of her neck as she runs her hands up and down my sweaty back. Both of our breathing is rough.

A crushing weight forms on my chest when I realize what I’ve just done. I knew the moment I got in my truck to come over here, we would end up like this. I knew I was going into this to satisfy both of our sexual needs. I knew I’d be letting part of myself go and displacing the image of Anna in my head. Anna was the only woman I’ve been with in fifteen years. I barely remember the three girls before her. I thought she would always hold the place in my head of being the last woman I had sex with. I no longer have that. The image is now replaced with Chris. If I were to die tomorrow, it would be Chris that is that last memory. I knew all this when I made the trip here, but now that I’ve done it, shame slams into me, almost stealing my breath. I can’t for the life of me regret taking Chris again. I want to regret it. I know I should
want
to take it back, but I can’t find it in me. It felt too good. Too right.

Waging a war with my inner self, I pull my face out of Chris’s neck, lift my body from hers, and sit on the side of the bed with my head in my hands. I grip my hair tight, wanting the biting pain. I hate myself for both polluting Anna’s memory and for treating Chris like a piece of willing meat, using her to appease a deep carnal need. I want to slam my head against a wall. I’ve never treated women with anything but respect. And I’ve done anything
but
that with Chris. She should hate me too. She should run the other way when I enter a room. She shouldn’t want anything to do with me. But for some reason she does.

I feel the bed shift behind me. I brace for what I know is coming. The touch on my back is barely there, but it still burns like lava. I only just stop myself from flinching. I want to recoil and fling myself away from her, but that’s the asshole thing to do, and I’m trying to refrain from that.

“You okay?” comes her hesitant voice.

I release my hair and wipe my palms down my face. Breathing in deep through my nose, I turn to face her.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I tell her quietly.

She watches me with uncertain eyes, like she’s not sure she believes me. That’s okay, because I’m not sure I believe it either.

“Just give me a few minutes, okay? I’ll be back.”

She nods, but her eyes turn sad. And the asshole feeling comes back.

Despising myself for leaving her, but needing a few minutes alone, I head to the bathroom and quietly close the door behind me. I walk to the sink, put my hands on the basin, and hang my head. I never expected it could be this good with Chris. She makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. Things that scare me and make me want to shut them away so I never feel them again. I felt it the first time, but I put it off as a result of not feeling a warm woman wrapped around me for over two years. I know now that’s not true. It’s all Chris.

Lifting my head, I look at myself in the mirror. I don’t like what I see. My hair is sweaty, my cheeks are red from exertion, my eyes are blazing hot, and my cock still glistens with Chris’s essence. I look like I just had a round of hot and heavy sex. Another round of guilt churns in my stomach. I want to smash the mirror with my fists so I don’t have to look at myself anymore. I need to stop this. Anna is no longer here. I know she would want me to move on; even if it’s only sexually, at least it’s something. I just can’t get the feeling of betrayal out of my head.

Turning away from the sickening sight in the mirror, I grab a washcloth from the cabinet and wet it with warm water. No matter my inner turmoil, it’s not Chris’s fault. I may be loaded with guilt, but I still need to care for Chris.

I walk out the bathroom to find Chris sitting on the side of the bed with her bra and shirt on. She’s bending over to slip her panties up her legs.

“What are you doing?” I ask, stopping for a second when I realize she’s getting dressed. I already miss the sight of her gloriously naked body. I want to rip the clothes from her body and chain her to the bed so I can look anytime I want.

She looks over at me with a sad little smile, and then continues getting dressed.

“I figured you’d be leaving,” she says quietly.

A muscle ticks in my jaw as I clench my teeth, irritated that she would think that. But then I remember it’s my own fault. I should go home. It would reiterate to her that this is all there will ever be between us. But the thought of leaving her has a pain shooting in my chest. I’m not ready leave. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to leave.

“Well, I’m not,” I snap, more harshly than I intended. I wipe the scowl from my face and finish walking to her. “Take your clothes back off and let me tend you.”

She looks at me with confusion for a moment, then her eyes drop to the hand holding the washcloth. A cute blush forms on her face.

“You don’t have to do that. I can do it myself.”

She reaches for the rag, but I snap it out of her reach.

“I want to do it,” I tell her truthfully. Now that the idea is in my head, I can’t get it out.

“Nick, seriously, you don’t—”

I don’t let her finish before I bend down and get in her face. Her eyes widen and she leans back to avoid us bumping noses.

“Sugar, take your clothes off and let me clean my come that’s running out of you. Please. I want to do this.”

Red creeps up her cheeks again. She drops her eyes to her lap before bringing then back up to me. She doesn’t react right away, just watches me with eyes that flicker back and forth. After several seconds, she nods, says “Okay” and lets her panties fall back to the floor.

Once she’s naked again, she scoots back up the bed, and I follow her. Taking her knees in my hands, I pry them apart. Seeing her laid bare to me has my dick hardening again. Looking at my come weeping from her cunt jacks up my heart rate. Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to take her again, but I’m still recovering from the emotional havoc I felt earlier.

I take the cloth and gently lay it over her sensitive spot. I don’t analyze why the thought of wiping away my come from her bothers me. I want it to stay inside her. I ignore it and continue.