Awakening (19 page)

She watched his big hand stroke his cock rhythmically and she matched that rhythm in her own pussy. She dipped her fingers in and out, feeling her intimate muscles contract around her fingers before pulling out and rubbing her clitoris. Evan’s eyes were riveted to where she worked her pussy, and she grew even bolder. Calling up various things she’d read in all those stories, she smacked her pussy hard, eliciting a gasp at the unexpected pleasure that shot through her body.

Her own eyes glanced up to Evan’s face, which was dark and furious yet somehow not scary in any way. He looked almost tortured, but his cock was throbbing and pulsing in his hands and she could see the bead of moisture forming at the tip. She wanted desperately to lick it off, but was scared that if she did anything like that she’d not only kill the mood but would cause him to end their agreement altogether.

Instead, she contented herself with imagining that she did it, and licked her lips at the thought, eliciting a growl from Evan that set her blood on fire. She was alternating between slapping her clit and rubbing it furiously as the tension built.

‘Come for me, little one.’ Evan’s voice was deep and barely intelligible and it washed over her.

She reached for one of her nipples, squeezing and rolling it hard as she rubbed her clitoris. The fire slowly radiated out through her limbs; her nipples went rigid and every muscle clenched as her orgasm rolled over her. She pressed down hard, forcing each sensation to linger as she rode the wave of her orgasm, crying out unintelligibly as she bucked and writhed under Evan’s searing gaze.

Just as she began to come back to herself, Evan surged toward her, demanding, ‘Open your mouth.’

She complied as he planted a knee on the bed and stroked his cock, which jutted out proud and firm from his body. His balls were drawn up tight and he was fully engorged. It didn’t take long before he growled again and pressed the head of his cock to her lower lip, forcing her mouth wide to take in his full girth as he pressed his cockhead between her lips and jet after jet of hot, thick semen flooded her mouth. She gulped and sucked at him greedily, but he kept back, not going any deeper.

As he pulled back, she smiled up at him, thrilled that he’d joined in, only to see the furious look on his face. All joy died in that moment.

She was sublime in her orgasm and it absolutely killed him. He hadn’t been able to help himself. Not when she’d given in to herself and begun to masturbate without reserve, not when she’d noticed him working his cock over like it owed him money and she’d grown so bold, and not when she’d finally come. He’d had to mark her, claim her in some way.

The sight of her full, sexy lips engulfing the head of his cock was pure torture. He wanted to own her mouth, to fuck it hard and then pull out and slam himself into her pussy, marking her fully. But she wasn’t his and she wasn’t going to be his. He wasn’t going there. He never wanted to go through what he went through –

All thought left his brain as he absorbed the crushed look on Claire’s face. He quickly stuffed his cock back into his jeans and sat on the bed, taking her hand.

‘Talk to me, Claire.’ He heard the urgent concern in his voice and sought to calm down. Tears welled in her eyes and he stroked the hair back from her forehead.

Her voice was small and watery and she wouldn’t look at him as she said, ‘You look angry.’

He could have kicked his own ass in that moment. The last thing she needed was to think that she’d displeased him in anyway. Stretching out next to her, he gathered her into his arms. She was rigid and unyielding and lay like a 2x4 against him.

‘Relax, Claire.’ His voice was firm and he waited until she complied, her petite shape moulding itself to his much larger one. He held her there, petting her hair gently, trying to find the right words to convey what had just happened without making it any worse, and was at a loss. ‘You were …’ He wanted the right word and went with honest in the end. ‘Sublime.’

She went still.

‘Claire, you were amazing to watch, sexy and uninhibited. You see you had a serious effect on me.’

‘But why did you look so angry?’ Her voice was still soft but there was an edge of backbone back. She didn’t sound lost.

‘Because you tempt me in ways I’m not prepared to deal with, little one.’ The truth spilled out despite himself. ‘I don’t want to rehash this again and again, but this is not about sex, and you tempt me too much for my own good.’ He dropped a light kiss on her forehead. She felt very good lying there next to him. Too good. He shifted and put a bit of space between them even as he knew himself for an asshole. He needed to handle her after-care appropriately. He relaxed and gathered her close again, took a deep breath, and continued.

‘Do you know why I had you do that just now?’

She shook her head.

‘Because you need to see yourself the way I do. Sensual, beautiful, erotic.’ She went still as he spoke, but he didn’t look at her. ‘You captivated me, Claire, and yet you are so ridiculously critical of yourself and it makes my teeth itch. I’d spank it right out of you if I thought I could accomplish that. Instead, I do this so you can learn to see yourself differently.’

Beside him, she was silent. A quick look showed him that she’d fallen asleep. Without the pressure of discovery, Evan looked his fill. Her beauty was a quiet kind. She wouldn’t turn heads on the street, but it was there nonetheless. For him at least, it was seared into his brain.

In the aftermath of their session, her eyes were just a bit puffy and the tell-tale tracks of her tears were visible on her cheeks. Her lips were soft and lush and the image of his cock between them zinged through his mind. Her body was soft and pliant in his arms, and so utterly delectable he wanted to consume her. He gently, so as not to wake her, pressed his lips over one of the trails from her tears and lingered, touching his tongue to the salty line, tasting her skin and inhaling her soft scent. His cock was stirring and he had to get out of there or he was going to do something he wouldn’t be able to come back from.

Gently, he disengaged himself from her and settled in his bed, covering her with the duvet and, turning off the light, he left her there.

Chapter Thirteen – Girl Talk

W
OOHOO
!
C
LAIRE CLOSED
the window of the online chess game which she had just won with a grin on her face, and pushed back from her desk and went to change her clothes. Ten rounds. That was her “punishment” from Evan for losing to him. She had to play ten rounds before their next session, which wasn’t for a few days, but she’d wanted to just get them out of the way. She’d won three of the ten rounds including this one, but that was three more than she’d won before. It might not translate to beating Evan yet, but she was definitely improving.

Checking her watch, she saw it was time to get ready to meet Bridget. She headed into her room and pulled out a pair of slim, white capris and a ruby-red tank top, sliding them over her body and slipping on some high-wedged sandals. She checked herself out in the mirror. She looked different. She couldn’t really pinpoint it but it was there. She felt more – whole. The lines and tiredness were fading from her face.

Admittedly, her exploration with Evan was forcing her to examine areas of herself and her psyche in ways she hadn’t even considered when they’d agreed he would be her dom. She hadn’t thought of anything outside the bedroom, or the manner in which he would creatively find ways to challenge her ingrained thoughts and feelings. Having her masturbate for him had been a serious breakthrough for her. Until now, she’d barely been able to masturbate for herself; to do it for him had been mind-altering. Add in the fact that she’d been instructed to masturbate in front of the mirror throughout the week and to use a vibrator in the process and she’d learnt more about her body in the last few days than in the entire time she’d been having sex.

Waking up in Evan’s bed had been bittersweet because she’d been alone, but it had smelled like them both and she’d luxuriated for a few minutes, reflecting on the experience and just taking in the whole experience. She’d risen and dressed and gone out to see Evan, who’d been on the couch watching golf. Their parting had not been quite what she’d hoped for after what they’d shared. He’d been polite, exceedingly polite, but not warm.

With a sigh, she shook her head to clear out the self-pity wanting to take root. She’d known when she’d agreed to be his sub that romance wasn’t on the table. Finding her smile, she grabbed her keys and Chester and headed out the door.

She arrived at Bean There Done That before Bridget did and secured a table for them on the patio. She tied Chester up and gave him his chew toy as she gave the barista her order for a cappuccino. As she sipped the silky brew, she pondered whether or not she should even bring up her concerns to Bridget about what the real problem was for Evan. It wasn’t so much that she felt he needed to want to have sex with
her
per se. It was more that she felt any relationship, especially one as intimate as hers was growing with Evan, should be symbiotic and synergistic. They should be helping each other grow and Evan had thrown a wall up.

It didn’t seem healthy and, frankly, she felt a seed of doubt in her new-found confidence every time she thought about it. That he found her attractive was not in question. His response to her during their session had been sincere, she was sure of that, but …
Sigh
 … That was exactly the problem, the “but”. When he’d come in her mouth it had been amazing to watch him. His eyes had been closed and the pleasure on his face had been unbelievable. That she’d been responsible for such rapture had been transcendent. She’d never felt sexier and more confident in herself as an attractive woman as she had at that moment. So his withdrawal after had cut.

Even as that thought crossed her mind, her confidence tried to falter once again, but she would be damned if she was going to allow what had happened with Charlie to befall her again. Her self-worth was not going to be determined by any man, not even one she’d fallen in love with.

The thought hit Claire with the impact of a semi-truck and she was glad she was sitting down. She wasn’t sure that she wouldn’t have fallen over if she hadn’t been. Love was so not in the plans here. Infatuation, sure, but love would just screw everything up. She didn’t want to be in love with Evan. Not when the man was so closed off to her.

Karma was a bitch, wasn’t it? She’d been completely closed off to Charlie and now here she was, completely ass over elbow for a man who didn’t want her in that way. She stared blankly out across the street at the people walking by as the feeling of despondency washed over her. This was so not the way she wanted this to be.

‘Hey there, darlin’.’ Bridget’s sultry drawl flowed over her, pulling her out of her morose thoughts. ‘What’s got you glaring at passers-by?’

Bridget looked phenomenal as usual. Her coppery hair was piled on top of her head and dropping all around her head in ringlets that somehow looked regal on her tiny frame, rather than doll-like as it would have on so many others.

She sat across from Claire and set what smelled like a Chai Tea down on the table. In her customary fashion, she reached into her handbag of magic tricks, as Claire liked to think of it since she seemed to always have whatever the situation required in its depths, and handed Chester a dog biscuit. For his part, Chester gently took the cookie and nuzzled her hand.

Claire snorted inelegantly. ‘You’re spoiling him, ya know. Now he’ll only eat those ridiculously expensive gourmet biscuits you get him.’

Bridget arched an eyebrow and merely said, ‘If you wouldn’t eat it, now why should he, sugar?’ even as she scratched him behind the ears and baby talked him.

Claire just snorted again, earning a sharp look from Bridget, who inquired, ‘Are you going tell me what’s going on or are we going to play ten questions?’

‘Twenty questions,’ Claire fired back even as she knew she was being snotty with Bridget, who didn’t deserve to catch backlash from her discomfort over her revelation.

‘Ten questions, darlin’.’ She grinned. ‘I don’t feel up to twenty, and besides, I think I already know what is the cause of the problem, if not the details, so why don’t you spare your aging friend the trouble and just spill it?’

‘Hardly aging, Brig,’ she huffed, but took a deep sigh and said, ‘It’s Evan.’

‘Um-hmm,’ Bridget murmured. ‘You finally figured out you’re in love with him?’

‘How on earth did you know that?’ Claire was astounded. She’d only just figured it out herself.

Bridget laughed out loud, drawing the attention of the elderly couple at a nearby table before she covered her mouth and giggled at Claire’s obvious disbelief.

‘You haven’t seen how you look when he’s nearby or the way your face changes when you talk about him. Or how you’ve been glowing all week ever since your date –’

‘It wasn’t a date,’ Claire interjected.

‘Whatever.’ Bridget waved her words off as if they were of no more import than air.

‘Seriously,’ Claire said, feeling the need to push the point. ‘It wasn’t a date.’

‘OK,’ Bridget said, but it was in that tone that made it clear she was just humouring Claire.

‘I. Mean. It.’ Claire’s words were clipped and underscored as she felt her anger grow.

Bridget looked up, startled at the tone of Claire’s words, and set down the Chai Tea that had been on its way to her lightly glossed lips. ‘Talk to me, honey. What’s he done?’

Claire deflated at the obvious concern in Bridget’s voice and tears welled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. Alarm flashed across Bridget’s face. She came around to Claire’s side of the table and sat next to her, putting an arm across her shoulders and hugging her tight.

Claire laid her head on Bridget’s shoulder and just let herself sob quietly for a few minutes before finally pulling herself together. She excused herself briefly and went to the ladies’ room to wash her face before coming back to the table. Her stomach turned over, knowing she was going to have to talk to Bridget about this now. One didn’t cry all over one’s best friend and not provide an explanation.