Baby on the Way (15 page)

“Watch out,” she said as a car in front of them spun on a slick spot.

“It’s all right, Caitlin. We’re fine. God will take care of us.”

“He didn’t take care of me. Not at all.” She peered out through the windshield, nodding as streetlight after streetlight flickered, then died.

“When my mother was in the car, dying, she told me, ‘Be a good girl, Caitlin. Be strong.’” She nodded. “I’ll be strong. I will be. I have to be.”

Jordan fought to grasp the thread of what she was saying. She’d been in the car with her parents when they’d died? Why hadn’t anyone ever told him? Caitlin had heard her mother take her last breath. She’d listened to the last bit of advice her mother had to give.

Be strong.

It was an awful lot to ask of a ten-year-old child.
And yet Caitlin had been strong, far stronger than anyone should have to be. Bit by bit understanding flowed into his brain.

This was why she was so determined to go through life alone. It was what she’d always done when life threw a curveball. Be strong. He smiled grimly. Caitlin Andrews was the strongest woman he’d ever met. But it was time for her to learn to lean on someone else.

“Caitlin? Listen sweetheart, we’re almost there. The hospital’s right ahead. Can you hear me, darling?”

“Hurts,” she whispered. “Hurts bad.”

“I know, darlin’.” He swallowed, carefully edging past the cars and trucks that lined the hospital entrance. He’d have to go around.

“If we trust God, He will always come through for us. Your mom and dad trusted God to take care of you and here you are, getting ready to be a mommy. Just trust a little bit more now. Just a little more. God will take care of you.”

“Hard to trust, Jordan. So hard. Hurts to love.” She sounded weak, her breathing short, gasping.

Jordan’s heart thundered in his chest, but he refused to give up. His brain kept up a steady petition to heaven as he negotiated around the various vehicles that littered the area.

He parked in front of the emergency door. “Here we are, Lyn.”

“Don’t leave me,” she whimpered as he stepped outside of the car.

Jordan hurried around to the other side, opened the door and lifted her into his arms. “I’m not going anywhere, Lyn. I’ll be right here beside you all the way.”

“Ooh! Here we go again,” she groaned, her fingers twisting in his hair as she wrapped one arm around his neck.

Jordan wanted to groan himself. He wondered if he’d be bald at the end of all this. When her other fist twisted up a handful of his shirt, Jordan lengthened his stride. He had to get her inside, and fast. Thank goodness for the portico that sheltered the driveway from the ice.

He set her down in a wheelchair and gave the doctors the pertinent information, watching as they wheeled her off into a labor room.

“I’ll be right there, Lyn,” he called to her. “As soon as you get into that bed properly. Just keep trusting.”

She blinked, peering up at him as the door closed shut between them. Jordan winced at the sad hurt look in her eyes. She needed her faith now more than ever.

“Please help her,” he whispered as he waited for her to reappear. “Please renew her faith and trust and help her to believe. She needs You now more than ever.”

He opened his eyes when someone’s hand pressed his arm. A nurse, stern but with kindly eyes stood peering up at him.

“She’s in hard labor, son. And she’s going to need someone to keep her spirits up. It won’t be easy, so if you can’t do it, you’d better say so right now.”

“I can do it,” he told her. “I can do whatever needs to be done. There’s no way you’re getting rid of me now.” He visually dared her to try.

To his surprise she smiled.

“Good,” she nodded. “Then hang on for the ride.”

“I
f you even think of uttering one more chicken joke, I’m going to rearrange that handsome face. Ooh!” Caitlin’s meager grin twisted into a grimace as she braced herself, hands closing around Jordan’s arm.

“Breathe,” he told her. “In and out, just let it go. That’s good, darlin’. Very good.” He kept murmuring compliments until she finally relaxed, her face drained and white.

“I am breathing, you know,” Caitlin complained, her fingers unwrapping from his forearm. “It’s not as if I can just stop!”

Jordan wondered if he’d have any skin left there when this baby finally arrived.

“Okay, sweetheart. Okay. You’re doing fine. Everything’s fine.” He repeated the phrase as much to reassure himself as her.

“Stop telling me the same thing over and over.”
She didn’t look like she was joking. “I know what’s fine and this isn’t it!”

“All right.” He kept his voice amiable. “What would you like me to say instead?”

“Caitlin Andrews is the smartest woman I know,” she gasped, and returned her fingers to the permanent indentations in his arm. “Here we go again!”

“Caitlin Andrews is the smartest, most beautiful, least stubborn, most caring, forgiving and absolutely amazing woman I know,” he whispered, brushing her hair back and dabbing at her forehead with a washcloth. He pressed a kiss there for good measure.

“That’s more like it,” she grunted.

Jordan could see her tiring little by little with each contraction. It had been hours and nothing seemed to be happening.

“Okay, darlin’. I’m here. Hang on. Here we go again.” He brushed his hand over her tummy in circles, just the way the nurse had told him to. “Okay, Lyn. That’s right. You’re doing great! Junior’s coming right along.”

“He’s sure taking his time.” She puffed, face taut with tiredness. “Can I have an ice chip?”

“You’ve already had…”

“Andrews, give me that ice!”

She definitely wasn’t joking now. Jordan slipped the chip between her teeth and watched as she sucked at it greedily.

“I’m just going to check you again, Caitlin. Try not to tense up.” Dr. Warren smiled, her eyes sparkling
above her mask. “You’ve certainly got a good helper in this guy. He doesn’t complain at all.”

“He’s not allowed to,” Caitlin muttered, her eyes dull. “He insisted on being here, and I’m not letting him go home early.”

“That’s for sure.” Jordan grinned to show he didn’t hold any grudges. “She likes to drag things out.”

He kept his focus on Caitlin, but didn’t miss the doctor’s narrowed eyes, or quick flash of concern. When she raised her eyebrows, he nodded.

“Caitlin, Jordan’s just about worn-out. I want him to go sit down and get a cup of coffee. Is that okay?”

Caitlin frowned, glancing from one to the other.

“You’re leaving?”

“No way. Just getting a drink. You’re not very good about sharing your ice.” Jordan grinned, patted her hand and leaned down to brush her cheek with his lips. “I’ll be right back, I promise. Meanwhile, the nurse will stay with you.”

He gave her a thumbs up and headed for the door. “What’s wrong?” he asked the doctor the moment they cleared the doorway. “What’s the matter?”

Dr. Warren sighed. “She’s not progressing at all and I’m getting concerned. Dilation hasn’t changed. According to the monitor, the baby’s heart isn’t recovering as fast as we’d like after the contractions, either. It’s probably tiring. So is Caitlin. I don’t like it.”

“What’s the answer?”

“C-section. Get the baby out and give the mom a
break.” Dr. Warren’s eyes met his. “You don’t think she’ll go for it.”

“I doubt it. Caitlin likes to be in control. She can’t believe that things will be okay if she trusts someone else. I can’t imagine she’ll agree to an operation. Can we wait a bit?”

Dr. Warren shook her head, her forehead pleated in a frown.

“Not much longer. I think we should start preparing her for it. I don’t see any other way.”

“I’ll try to talk her into it, but you might just have to go ahead and operate.”

Jordan turned to go back in, his mind busy. Before he entered the room, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed his parents’ home number to update them on Caitlin’s condition. And once more he pleaded with them not to risk driving to the hospital.

“You’re getting tired, Lyn. Try to relax.” He said as he entered the room, though he knew it was a stupid thing to say as soon as the words came out. Evidently she agreed.

“Gee thanks, Jordan. Okay, I’ll just close my eyes and pretend it’s not happening. Ow!” Her fingers dug into his arm extra deep. “Sorry. Your method doesn’t work very well. Oh, I want to go home.”

He stared at the fetal monitor, willing it to speed up. A moment later her eyes opened and her gaze followed his.

“It’s taking longer for it to go up, isn’t it?” she whispered, her face growing even paler. “I thought it was my imagination.”

“The doctors are getting a bit concerned,” he told her plainly. “They’re thinking about a cesarean.”

“No way!” She puffed her way through the next pain, pinching his arm and glaring at him all the while. “I’m not letting myself be put under so I’ll be helpless to fight for this child. No way! Besides, an operation would be hard on him, too.”

“Lyn, remember what I said about trusting. God will take care of things if we trust in Him.”

“It’s so hard. Ooh.” Finally she got through the crest of it and then watched the monitor as closely as everyone else.

“I’m afraid there’s not a lot of choice, Caitlin. That baby needs to come out. Now. We’re going to take every precaution.” Dr. Warren looked stern. “We can’t afford much more time.”

Her face blanched, her big green eyes full of fear. “I’m scared, Jordan. It’ll be like in the car, black and lonely, all by myself. I can’t do that again. What if they make a mistake?”

“No one’s going to make a mistake tonight, Caitlin. Dr. Warren is the smartest baby doctor I know.”

Also the only one, but Jordan wasn’t going into that now.

“And besides, God’s in control. Isn’t He, Lyn?” Maybe if he got her to admit it, she’d relax.

“I don’t know.” She hesitated, staring up at him, never looking away as the contraction tore through her body, her voice a faint whimper of agony.

Jordan stared at her intently, allowing some of her
fear to penetrate his brain. It was time to deal with this cleanly. Here and now.

“I want everyone to leave. Just for a moment.” Dr. Warren tipped her head to one side and he nodded. “Just for a minute.”

When they were gone, Jordan bent over Caitlin. He brushed his hand over her forehead tenderly, willing her to feel his love.

“Caitlin, I know you’ve had it rough. It’s been a long hard path and it’s taken a lot out of you. But you have to let the doctor help you. Help the baby. You have to face the fear, let someone else take control now. You can’t do it all alone anymore.” “But what if something goes wrong?”

“There’s always that possibility, sweetheart. But life is full of chances. You have to trust that God will do what’s right for both of you. You have to get rid of the fear now. This is no place for being frightened. This is the place to put your trust in One who knows and cares about you.”

“But to go under that anesthetic, to miss out on everything? Besides, anesthetics can slow down the baby’s heart rate.”

“I care, Lyn. And I’m not going anywhere. I love you and I love the baby. I’ll be here. I’ll be Michael’s proxy, just for a while. I’ll be here to welcome this baby into the world. I’ll make sure everything’s okay.”

“And if something happens to me, you’ll take over? You’ll look after my baby?” Her lips trembled as she uttered the unthinkable.

Jordan placed his fingers across them, stopping the words. “Nothing is going to happen while God is in control. And He is, isn’t He, Lyn?”

She nodded slowly, finally admitting it. Jordan heaved a sigh of relief.

“That’s right. And this baby is His special gift to you.”

“That’s why I don’t want anything to happen.” She looked lost and forlorn in the big, sterile room with its chrome machines glittering nearby.

“That’s why you’ve got to rely on God, to trust in Him. He’s bigger, more powerful than the doctors. He’ll take care of you both, if you’ll ask Him.”

He prayed fervently as the silence stretched between them. He could see her wrestling with the issue, trying to resolve it as she strained through another contraction. Finally she nodded.

“All right. I’ll ask Him.” She closed her eyes and prayed, voice soundless but lips moving.

He waited, willing the fetal monitor to speed up and desperately praying when it didn’t. Lyn watched too, chewing her lip until the heartbeat finally resumed, her breath whooshing out in a sigh of relief.

“Okay, I’ll let them operate.”

“God
is
going to get you through this, Lyn,” he murmured. His hand held hers firmly as the nurse injected a solution into the drip bag.

She whispered just before she lost consciousness, “I trust Him.”

Jordan couldn’t help a wash of relief as he watched the nurses readying her for surgery.

“Okay, let’s move. We’ve got a baby to deliver, people.” Dr. Warren patted Jordan’s hand, holding him back as the nurses rolled Caitlin out of the room and down the hall. “She’ll be fine.”

“I promised I’d be there for the baby.” He met her frown head on. “I intend to keep that promise.”

After a long pause, the doctor nodded. “Very well. I’ll let you watch. Under one condition. You don’t faint on me. I haven’t got time for a fainter. I’ve got enough to deal with.”

“I won’t faint,” he told her, following her down the hall to the OR. “There’s too much at stake.”

The nurse swathed him in baggy green clothes and then showed him where to stand.

He held Caitlin’s hand as the surgical team moved in. “I’m not going anywhere, Lyn. I’m right here.”

“She’s ready?” Dr. Warren waited for the anesthetist’s nod. “Okay, folks. Let’s get that baby here. Now.”

Jordan didn’t hear anything else. He focused his prayers on heaven, pouring an unremitting barrage upward as he watched the face he loved more than life.

“Please help her now. Please. She needs this baby to affirm Your love. Keep them both in the shelter of Your arms.”

He didn’t know how long he prayed. He only became aware of the others in the room when the nurse touched his arm. He let go of Caitlin’s hand and set it gently back on the bed, reassured by the steady rise and fall of her chest.

“Here she is,” the nurse chirped, her countenance glorious. “A gorgeous baby girl.” She settled the tiny bundle in his arms, her hands at the ready in case he failed this first test.

Jordan gulped.

A girl, a tiny perfect little girl.

Michael’s daughter.

She had a patch of reddish brown hair and clear pink skin that felt delicately thin and oh, so soft when he grazed a hand over her flailing arm.

“Hello, baby,” he whispered, smiling as her tiny fingers closed around his thumb. “Welcome to our world.”

Time stood still as the baby lay in his arms. His brother’s child. Alive and healthy. Jordan whispered a thank-you to heaven at the blessed weight of her in his arms. She opened her eyes, huge blue eyes that reminded him of his brother, and blinked up at him. He thought he could see a question there.

“Your daddy couldn’t be here and your mommy’s sleeping,” he whispered. “You gave her quite a time. Anyway, I’m here to make sure nothing bad happens. I’ll always be here. Whenever you need me.” He wasn’t aware of the passage of time or the other voices in the room. All he could see was the blind trust in those precious eyes.

A flash of light obscured his vision for a moment. Then the nurse held out a picture.

“She’ll want to know you were there to greet her baby.” Her voice was soft and caring.

“Thank you,” Jordan managed to whisper. When
she held out her arms for the baby, he fought the urge to keep her nestled close to his heart. “Is she all right?”

“She’s perfect. Wouldn’t you say so, Dr. Warren?”

The doctor was stripping off her gloves. She stood for a moment, watching as Caitlin was wheeled into recovery. Then her glance came back to the baby, now curled up in an isolette.

“She’s doing very well. Her color is good, her Apgar rating was high. I’m not anticipating any problems.” She laid a hand on his arm. “Caitlin is fine, too. Everything went very smoothly.”

“I’ll go sit with her until she wakes up.”

Dr. Warren followed him out. “She’s going to be upset.”

“I know.” He didn’t want to think about just how furiously angry Caitlin would be. “But you tell me, was there another choice?”

The doctor shook her head, her eyes serious. “Not in my opinion.”

“Then I can live with whatever comes. They’re both alive and that’s what I prayed for.”

She led him toward the recovery room, let him wait outside until Caitlin was ready. Then when the small russet-haired form was wheeled back to her room, Jordan sank down wearily on a stool beside the bed and took Caitlin’s small, delicate hand once more, tracing the veins that pulsed with her life blood.

“I’m here, Lyn. Waiting for you to wake up. You have a lovely daughter, sweetheart. She’s just as
pretty as her mother. Come on, darlin’! It’s time to open those peepers.”

He was jolted out of his stupor by the clench of fingers on his.

“Michael? I really do love you, Michael.”

The whisper-soft garble of words stabbed him as deeply as any spear.

“I’ll still trust,” he muttered, his heart aching. “No matter what, I’ll trust in You. Even if the only woman I’ve ever loved is still in love with my brother.”