Back to Life (31 page)

His head rested on the back of the couch and he
just stared at me silently.  His fingers continued digging into my hips as he assessed me. I didn’t know what to do so I continued rambling, “So I think we were both just shocked to see each other and reacted to that.  And he’s engaged. To Ashlyn.”  I looked at him anxiously and I willed myself not to shift my eyes.  The guilt ate at me.

“Sahara…
there’s something you’re not telling me,” Ty stated.  His hands stilled on my hips and his gaze held me hostage.

I moved my body down his
basketball shorts covered legs until I was sure he could feel the heat between my thighs on his bare lower abdomen.  I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck.  We were cheek to cheek and my lips grazed his ear.  “I need you,” I whispered as I rotated my hips.  “I’m here because I needed to be with you.  I didn’t want to be apart anymore.”

I felt him harden beneath me as he
stroked my back.  His hands continued down over the curve of my ass, pulling me into him.  “Don’t do that,” he growled sexily in my ear.

I sat up so I could see his face
.  In this new position, I felt him grow fully between us. “Don’t do what?” I inquired, stopping my slow movements in his lap.

He opened his eyes leisurely and looked up at me.  He ran his hands up my arms over my shoulder
s and down my chest.  His fingertips grazed my nipples, instantly causing them to harden. He ended his casual caress of my body at my hips where he held on tight and pulled me into his hardness. “Don’t use the fact that I love you and your body against me.  You’re keeping something from me and you’re trying to distract me.” He was pressing himself against me and sliding his hands underneath my tank top before I could respond to him.

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know baby. I just really need to be with you right now.  Even if we just
lay in bed together. I just want to be in your arms,” I whimpered as his hands found my sensitive nipples underneath my top. 

“
Right now, the only thing I want to know is if you are mine?” Ty asked, his voice husky and his eyes hungry.

“Yes
. I’ll always be yours,” I uttered softly.  My mouth crashed against his in a flash.  His mouth overpowered mine and I readily submitted to his power.

Standing with me in his arms, I wr
apped my legs around his waist and held him tightly. He walked me into the suite’s bedroom and put me down in front of the bed.  Kissing fiercely, we tore at each other’s clothes until we were both standing naked in front of each other. Picking me up, Ty tossed me onto the bed.  I landed with a soft thud against the feather pillows. I giggled softly at his roughness.

“I want you so bad, I can’t see straight,” Ty groaned as he climbed
on the bed.  Making his way between my legs, he laid me out spread eagle.  He sat back on his haunches and admired my body.  My thighs shook slightly in anticipation.  Everything about this man was perfection and I just wanted to feel him.  Whenever our bodies collided, it was physical expression of our emotional feelings coupled with carnal lust.  Every single time we have sex, I experienced the same flood of emotions: My heart clenches just as tight as my core. I get wet and my mouth goes dry.  I feel nervous and heady at the same time.
This man does amazing things to me,
I thought with a smile. 

The moment his b
are skin touched mine, I lost it.  I spent so much time being broken that it took the disaster of the day for me to become distinctly aware of how his touch was everything I needed to feel whole again. Closing my eyes, the guilt, the anger, the confusion, the emotions of the day, everything melted away. All I could feel was love—his love for me and my love for him. 

I woke up and before I opened my eyes, I knew Ty wasn’t in the bed anymore.  For the last month, we’d wake up touching.  Either our legs would be intertwined or we’d be cuddling each other. 
If one of us got up it was because we were in the bathroom or kitchen.  I heard no movement in the hotel suite and I instantly panicked because there was only one time in the last month that I woke up and he wasn’t around.

My eyes flew open in
alarm as I sat up.  My body felt lethargic from the late night and sore from all the different ways Ty had me.  But even reminiscing about the amazing make up sex wasn’t going to suppress the unease that settled over me.  The silence in the suite was deafening. I rolled over to his side of the bed and there was a slip of Renaissance Hotel paper on his pillow. 

Leaning closer, I read the words
scrawled on the page in Ty’s handwriting and instantly, tears stung my eyes as I mumbled the words to myself. “That’s fucked up. I knew you were hiding something, but I didn’t expect that.”

Chapter 30
 

My hands were gripping the comforter to my naked body as I read the note over and over again. With a shaky hand, I picked up the note to inspect it further.
Maybe something is on the back. A ‘haha’ or a ‘just joking’ or anything to allude to this not being real,
I thought frantically.

Underneath the paper was my cell phone.  Hitting the home button inadvertently, I saw a text message from Emily light up the screen.

Emily Mills: Where the hell are you?! I woke up and went to the guest bedroom and instead of you, I find my brother naked in your bed.  I thought I heard noises and the shower going but I thought I was dreaming. Does this mean he finally called off his sham engagement? Call me!

No
no no no no no,
I thought as I hopped out of bed with my phone.
This is bad. This is really bad. He read this and assumed I slept with Emanuel. I mean hell, I assumed the same thing when I woke up beside Emanuel so I can’t blame him. But I need him to know the truth. I didn’t sleep with Emanuel. I’m almost positive,
I thought as guilt coursed through my veins all over again.

I looked through the hotel and didn’t see any sign of Ty and his luggage was gone.
I called him three times before I called a taxi.  Hurriedly, I took a shower and pulled on my black tank top and white wash jeans sans panties.  Fishing my travel tooth paste and tooth brush from my handbag, I brushed my teeth.  Not having any products with me, I fashioned my hair in a high ponytail on the top of my head and slid the headband in place.  Putting the note inside my wallet, I left Ty’s hotel room. 

As soon as I got downstairs, the taxi was waiting for me.  I called Emily on my way there.

“Sahara! Where are you?” Emily asked as she picked up on the first ring.

“I’m on my way to your house. Is Emanuel there?” I inquired softly.

“No, he left when I burst into the room and realized he was there alone and naked. What the hell happened after I passed out? I definitely thought you were passed out for the night too!”

“
I really don’t know Em,” I whispered sadly as I clutched the phone with a shaky hand. “This is what I remember—we drank heavily, I got in the shower and then the bed.  I decided that I needed to hear Ty out because he’s ultimately who I want.  I sent two text messages out.  One said call me and come over with your address. But after I got up and sobered up, I realized it was the wrong address anyway.  That one was for Ty.  The other said let’s talk in the morning and that was for Emanuel. That’s the last thing I remembered before I woke up and Emanuel was in the bed.  I was sloshed last night and I don’t remember much, but I’m almost positive Emanuel and I didn’t have sex.”

“Oh wow,” Emily whistled.  “
Well I questioned Emanuel and he said you two didn’t have sex.  He said he didn’t want your first time together to be when you both had too much to drink so after you stripped him, he didn’t allow it to go any further than that. He said that you two only made out and talked before you both fell asleep.  He went home about an hour ago. I asked him to explain right after I texted you.  Hope that helps jog your memory.  So where were you?”

I knew I didn’t sleep with him,
I sighed heavily as relief washed over me. “I was with Ty. My plan had been to be with Ty last night anyway and I don’t know how that got so screwed up. I didn’t know what happened with Emanuel, but I was fairly confident I didn’t sleep with him.  But waking up next to an engaged man was all the confirmation I needed to go find Ty immediately.  I needed to hear his explanation and talk it out with him.”

“And I’m guessing you did more than talk it out since you’re just now on your way back and your flight is
in three hours,” Emily said with a laugh.

I swallowed around the lump in my throat as I explained, “Not exactly. We talked
and he knew something was off. He knew I was holding back something and I just didn’t want to ruin our reconciliation.  I was going to tell him when we got back to Richland.  I was going to tell him everything so we could both have a clean slate. I was going to tell him Em. But not right then. I needed him to explain himself.  I needed to make up with him.  I needed to feel him, all of him.  So I didn’t say anything. We had sex and then we fell asleep.  I woke up and he…”  My voice broke as a sob threatened to erupt.

“Sahara, what is it?” Emily
inquired, worry evident in her tone.

“He saw the text you sent this morning. He
left me a note telling me I was fucked up. He thinks I had sex with Emanuel and then went to see him,” I quavered.

“Oh Sahara… I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have sent that text. I—”

I interrupted, “No. It’s okay Em. You have nothing to be sorry for.  I should’ve been upfront with him when he asked if Emanuel had followed me back to your place.  I told Ty about when we asked him to leave before we got drunk.  I just didn’t inform him about the misunderstanding via text message. I should have. I messed up.” The dam broke open and tears rushed from my eyes. “Em, I’ll be at your house in a few minutes. I’ll talk to you more about it then.”

We ended the c
all and I cried into my hands for the duration of the taxi ride.  Giving the driver a generous tip for having to endure my sobbing, I got out of the car and ran to Emily’s front door.  When Emily opened it, she pulled me in for a much needed hug.

“What are you going to do Sahara?” Emily asked as I changed into
a formfitting Alice + Olivia hunter green and black striped sleeveless dress.  It complimented my brown skin and the boat neckline looked good with my hair up in a high ponytail. My black studded Christian Louboutin ankle cuff sandals completed the look.

I gave her a small smile before I groaned sadly, “I don’t know. I have to talk to Ty. I have to explain myself. I also need to talk to Emanuel.  And my plane leaves in three hours.”

“What time does Ty’s plane leave?”

“I actually don’
t know. Up until the hearing, I assumed he was in Boston so I don’t know what time it’s leaving from here.”

“Okay well how about this. We’ll swing by Emanuel’s on the way to the airport. You’ll have 20 minutes to say what you need to say before we need to be on the road and airport bound.”

“That sounds good,” I said, nodding as I put my toiletry bag into my luggage.

“And once we
finish there, we’ll drive straight to the airport.  We’ll be super early so that’ll give us an opportunity to figure out what flight Ty could possibly be on.  We’re going to get you your man back,” Emily added as she touched up her makeup in the mirror.

“Thank you for everything
Em. I promise, the next time I come down, we will do fun stuff and avoid all this drama.  And I’d like to meet Anthony.” I looked up from zipping my luggage and smiled at Emily.

“The next time you come down?” Emily smiled
at me through the mirror. 

“
Yes. Of course. You’re my best friend and it’s time for me to start acting like it. Now that I’ve actually gotten my courage together to face what happened to us, I don’t want to lose what we have all over again.  Even with everything that has happened this weekend, I’ve had a good time with you. I’ve missed you Em.” I dropped my luggage beside my feet so I could give her a big hug.

Ten minutes later, we were eating blueberry muffins and drinking tea on our way to Emanuel’s house.  When we arrived, we both ran
as fast as we could in heels to the front door.  I let Emily knock and I stood behind her since I’d never been to Emanuel’s house before.  After the first series of knocks, I was going to suggest we just leave, but we heard something moving on the other side of the door.

As
hlyn opened Emanuel’s door wearing a low cut red, yellow and green maxi dress.  As much as I hated to admit it, Ashlyn was a knockout.  Her short hair was styled prettily and her makeup was expertly applied.  Both Emily and I froze for a second as we were caught off guard by her.

“Hi Emily!
How are you?” Ashlyn cheered with a large smile plastered on her face.  Ashlyn made a point not to look at me.  

Emily croaked, “
Ashlyn…what are you doing here? Where’s Manny?”

“No, the real question is, what is she doing here?”
Ashlyn countered, pointing at me.  I smirked and slid my sunglasses on.

“Oh is something funny?”
Ashlyn asked taking a step out of the door.

“Yes. You,” I pointed out. “We don’t have time for this
Ashlyn. Where’s Emanuel?”

“This is important
Ashlyn. We’re not here to see you. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Emily added, taking a step around the shorter woman. 

“Your friend isn’t welcome in my
house Emily,” Ashlyn stated flatly.  She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the doorjamb, blocking our way in.
They live together?!
I thought incredulously.
I mean, I guess it makes sense if they are engaged, but—okay now it makes sense why he didn’t bring me to his house over the weekend.

“Manny
?! Manny?! Manny?!” Emily screamed causing a few dogs in the neighborhood to start barking and the kids a few doors down to stop what they were doing in their front yard.

“Stop causing a scene!”
Ashlyn screeched, looking around the neighborhood to see who was watching.  Her voice dropped a few octaves when she conceded, “Manny got called into work last night and he hasn’t made it back yet. I’ll let him know you stopped by Emily.”

She took a large step back into the house before she looked at me and said, “And Sahara, get your own man… Manny is mine. I love him and we are getting married.
Period. I’m not going to let you or any of these other hoes go after what’s mine. Do I make myself clear?”

Th
at’s funny. I wonder if knowing he woke up naked in my bed would wipe that self-satisfied smile off of her face,
I thought callously.  Biting my tongue, I thought of a more appropriate response to her demand.  There was no reason to break up Emanuel’s relationship since that’s where he wanted to be.

Before I
could say anything, we heard the rumble of a motorcycle and whipped around.  Silently we all watched as Emanuel pulled into his parking spot.  He parked the bike, but didn’t immediately get off.  It looked as if he were debating whether or not he was going to flee the scene because he didn’t cut his engine off.  After a couple of minutes, Emily waved.   Emanuel cut the engine off and hopped off of his bike.  He took his helmet off and I was unable to help the small burst of air that escaped my lips.

Without product, his hair fell in soft waves as he ran his hand through it.  With a wrinkled shirt and dark stubble over his cheeks, he looked unkempt and unbelievably sexy. He took hi
s time.  His swaggering walk held more confidence than the look on his face portrayed. Ashlyn was the first one to speak.

“Hey boo! I’ve missed you!”
Ashlyn yelled. She bumped me and Emily on her way to meet Emanuel on the sidewalk.  Emily and I looked at each other and shook our heads.
That bitch has one more time,
I thought glaring at Ashlyn through my sunglasses.

“That bitch,” Emily muttered under her breath. 

I looked at Emily and smiled, “I was thinking the same thing.”

We looked up and saw
Ashlyn grab Emanuel’s hand.  Once they got in front of us and we exchanged hellos, I spoke first.

“Hey Emanuel, can we talk for a quick minute? I’m hea
ded to the airport and only have 5 minutes,” I asked looking between Emanuel and Ashlyn. Emanuel nodded and Ashlyn shook her head no.

“Yes, of course,” Emanuel nodded.  He wiggled his hand free of
Ashlyn’s and gestured for me to walk back toward his motorcycle.

“No!”
Ashlyn interjected loudly. “I’m tired of this Emanuel! All these years, I’ve put up with this.  It’s bad enough that I’ve been competing with the past version of her you won’t let go, but now you expect me to put up with this current real-life version of her! Seriously? You think I don’t know that you keep a picture of you and her in your motorcycle?  You don’t think I notice when we go to your parent’s house, you ask your parents or Emily about her?  You don’t think I know you still have feelings for her? Well I do! And standing here watching the way you look at her, makes me sick.  I’m sick of it.”

Emanuel looked at her sternly before he said, “Let’s not do this here. We can talk in the house in a few minutes.”  His body looked tense as his chest rose and fell quickly.

Ashlyn put her hands on her hips and her voice lowered, “I always figured it was one of those things you’d eventually get over.  When people go through tragedy together, that tragic event can seal them together.  I get that.  That’s why I’ve tolerated it.  But seeing you with her, it’s too much. I love you and I want to be your wife.  But you have to choose right now: me or her.”

Nervously,
Emily broke in, “Um, Sahara has to be at the airport shortly. What she has to say to Emanuel isn’t going to take that long.  She literally has two minutes.”

Ashlyn
ignored Emily and looked from Emanuel to me and then back to Emanuel. With conviction, Ashlyn uttered, “Well Emanuel…? Are you going to live in the past with Sahara or are you going to move into your future with me? Which is it?”