Backstage Disneyland: The Secret's Out: Disney characters are real and they live behind the scenes at Disneyland (5 page)

“What should I do?” Indy quietly says amid the commotion.

“You’ve got to talk to Woody tonight,” Tiana says.

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A squadron of Green Army Men with weapons at the ready patrol the front gate of Disney California Adventure just before dawn. Cast in silhouette, two soldiers armed with bazookas stand guard atop the Art Deco entry portico modeled after the old Pan-Pacific Auditorium. Hiding behind a ticket booth in the plaza, Indiana Jones briefly contemplates walking up to the front entrance and simply asking to see Sheriff Woody - but that wouldn't end well.

Disneyland and California Adventure have been mortal enemies ever since the second gate opened a decade ago. At first, the Disneylanders wanted nothing to do with the inferior park. But arrogance soon turned to jealousy when Disney started dropping the newer Pixar characters into DCA in hopes of boosting attendance. Long-time Disney characters began derisively referring to the new park as Pixar World and the name stuck, at least internally if not with the general public.
 

Over time, the intra-park rivalry turned bitter as the upstart Pixarians grew in popularity while the original Disneylanders increasingly faded into obscurity. Since then, the promenade between the two parks has become a demilitarized zone. Traveling from one park to the other is like crossing between East and West Berlin during the Cold War - at least at night when the characters take over the parks. By day, the guests have no idea the two parks are essentially warring countries.
 

Indy has infiltrated Pixar World many times in the past, usually on late night booty calls. Tonight will be just as easy. He'll be in and out before anybody even notices. Like a clandestine spy, Indy sticks to the shadows as he scurries toward Harbor Boulevard.
 

Indy unfurls his whip and lashes it around the overhead Monorail beam, pulling himself up to the elevated rail. Like a gymnast on a balance beam, he treads carefully but quickly along the two-foot-wide cement track in hopes of avoiding detection.

In the distance, the Twilight Zone Tower of Tower cycles through pre-opening test runs, the elevator doors opening and closing atop the indoor drop tower - minus the terrified screams. That can only mean one thing. Indy doubles his pace just before he hears that distinctive electric whir.
 

Pirouetting on the elevated beam, Indy comes face to face with a Monorail train. The speed of the futuristic Mark V sends Indy sliding up the sleek nose of the metallic blue train. To the surprise of the conductor, Indy hugs the Monorail windshield like he's riding on the back of a killer whale at SeaWorld. Inside the train, the panicked conductor picks up the radio and calls for help.

Indy's grip slips as the momentum carries him toward the rear of the train. Clinging to the windshield's edge, he loses his fingerhold and soars through the air. Tumbling across the top of the Monorail, Indy surprises himself when he lands upright like a surfer riding a silent steel serpent. The cool night air fills his nostrils.
 

Down below in Hollywoodland, work crews clean up their tools and supplies in anticipation of the park's early opening when hotel guests get first crack at the rides on so-called Magical Mornings. Indy has an hour at best, maybe less.
 

A Green Army soldier shouts and points as Indy prepares to leap onto the rooftops of the Buena Vista Street shops. Indy drops to his belly as the train crosses the bridge. But it's no use. His cover is blown.
 

Indy runs toward the back of the Monorail and jumps for the hipped roof of the airplane hangar housing the massive Soarin' Over California attraction. He comes up short, hanging from the roof of the three-story building with just one hand. He's got two choices: up or down. He chooses up, struggling to get a leg over the edge of the roof.
 

Finally reaching the top, Indy lifts his fedora, wipes his brow and loses his footing. He slides 100 feet down the sloped roof, gaining speed the closer he gets to the edge. At the last moment, Indy snatches the lip of the roof and slams into the side of the building.

Dangling by his fingertips, Indy spots a pair of Green Army Men down below clearly looking for him but unaware of his location. They hop from spot to spot with an exaggerated hitch in their step, their feet permanently attached to a base that looks like a camouflage green skateboard. Just don't look up, Indy silently pleads. Sweat beads on his forehead.
 

One by one, Indy’s fingers fail until he's hanging by just his pinky from the roof of the Soarin’ attraction. He swings his free hand up to the ledge just as he's about to fall, saving himself but losing his hat. The fallen fedora catches the soldiers’ attention, who radio in their find and aim their rifles at Indy.
 

One by one, Indy’s fingers fail again. Indy laughs to himself. What's the worst that can happen? The soldiers cock their weapons. They don't shoot trespassers, do they? Of course not, this is Disney. Then he has a moment of clarity. He lets go. The soldiers break his fall.
 

Hoping to keep his presence hidden, Indy drags the unconscious soldiers behind some shrubbery. But it's too late. As he bends over to pick up his hat, he hears a radio cackle with calls for reinforcements. As Indy stands up, an unseen punch lands hard on his chin.
 

Indy swings wildly, missing his green-faced assailant but connecting with the nose of another soldier. The Green Army Men take turns punching Indy, who puts up a diminishing defense. The soldiers simultaneously wind up knock-out blows that miss their target but strike each other when Indy ducks out of the way. Indy grabs the dazed men by their helmets and smacks their heads together, rendering them both unconscious.
 

This time Indy doesn't bother covering his tracks. The sooner he talks to Woody, the sooner he can get out of Pixar World. Next stop: Toy Story Midway Mania.
 

But he only gets a few steps before he hears the distinctive sound of the Green Army Men’s pod feet pounding toward him from multiple directions. He dives into some evergreen-fresh brush and tumbles down an embankment into a rushing river. Gasping, he comes up for air amid rapids just as a raft rumbles over him.
 

Holding onto his hat, Indy reemerges from beneath the choppy water only to see another raft from the Grizzly River Run heading his way. He lashes his whip onto the seat of the river rapids ride and pulls himself up onto the raft, his leather jacket and khaki pants soaking wet.
 

A Green Army soldier leaps on Indy’s back from the bank of the river. The men trade punches while trying to maintain their balance atop the rocking raft. As soon as Indy knocks one soldier into the water another jumps onto the raft from the shore to continue the fight.
 

The rafts bunch up at the bottom of a lift hill. Indy knees a soldier in the stomach and tosses him into the river only to immediately face two more green-faced pursuers. The oblong bases attached to the soldiers' feet make them surprisingly stable but highly immobile.
 

Indy leaps onto the inclined lift hill, a treadmill of wooden slats designed to propel the rafts to the top of a grist mill. Two soldiers trail Indy on the upward-moving treadmill as two more soldiers appear near the top, hopping down the hill toward him. The further Indy moves from the soldiers at the bottom of the hill the closer he gets to the ones at the top.
 

Trapped, Indy finds himself fighting four Green Army Men at once, throwing punches and maintaining his balance all at the same time. Indy grabs one of the descending soldiers by his rifle and flings him down the hill, knocking over an ascending soldier. Using his whip, Indy yanks the legs out from under another soldier, who slides down the treadmill like a bowling ball into his compatriot.
 

Four more soldiers appear at the bottom the hill as another four ride up the rotating water wheel on the side of the grist mill. Outnumbered, Indy dives into the pond below. The eight soldiers splash down behind Indy as he reaches the water's edge and takes off running.
 

Over his shoulder, Indy spots the hopping Green Army Men slowly but steadily giving chase. One of the soldiers shoots his rifle at Indy and the rest of his buddies open fire. Instinctively, Indy grabs his revolver and returns fire before remembering his gun is filled with blanks. Hopefully theirs are too.
 

Indy bounds up the steps two at a time of a wilderness lookout tower as Green Army Men pursue from all sides. At the top of the tower, he's presented with suspension bridges heading in three directions - and a brief respite. The oblong bases attached to the soldiers' feet make the stairs difficult to navigate. It would be funny if Indy wasn't hopelessly trapped atop the Redwood Creek Challenge Trail climbing course.
 

The sky fills with paratroopers leaping from treetops, their parachutes black blotches in the pre-dawn twilight. Indy takes off running but soon finds himself stuck in the middle of a swaying suspension bridge. Thick rope vertical suspenders swoop down from the watchtowers to support the deck of the bridge with protective netting along the sides. Soldiers approach from opposite ends of the span.
 

Indy pulls out his 18-inch Khyber Bowie knife from the leather sheath on his hip and threatens to cut the rope bridge. After a brief halt, the soldiers resume their slow and measured approach. Calling their bluff, Indy cuts the rope. The bridge teeters to one side, knocking several soldiers off balance. Lashing himself to the bridge, Indy cuts the other rope and the bridge wobbles wildly, sending soldiers tumbling to the ground three stories below.

On one watchtower, a pair of munitions specialists wrap dynamite around the anchor supports of the bridge and scurry for cover. On the opposite end of the bridge, a lone soldier edges onto the unstable span determined to capture Indy, who is hopelessly stranded in the middle of the unsteady bridge. The explosives blow with a mighty reverberation.

Attached on only one end, the rope bridge swings like a pendulum and slams into the watchtower. Amazingly, Indy and the soldier manage to cling to the collapsed bridge.

Above Indy, the stranded soldier dangles by one hand. Looking at the perilous drop below, Indy opts for the uncertainty of up over the dilemma of down and climbs the bridge slats like a ladder. When the men come face to face, the Green Army soldier punches Indy three times in the ribs with his free hand. The blows send Indy sliding down the collapsed bridge before he grabs a slat that halts his fall.
 

Undaunted, the soldier drops onto Indy’s back. Seemingly doomed, the imperiled Indy suddenly stops struggling and releases his grip. With a timely snap of his whip, Indy snags onto the last slat of the bridge as the soldier crashes to the ground.

Using his weight, Indy swings back and forth until he has enough momentum to leap from the collapsed bridge to a lower level of the climbing structure. Detaching his whip, he races for the exit of the kids' adventure playground with a squadron of hopping Green Army Men in hot pursuit.
 

Racing past a row of San Francisco Victorians, Indy skids to a stop before a panoramic tableau. Across Paradise Bay, the serpentine skeleton of the California Screamin' roller coaster and the skyscraping pinwheel of Mickey's Fun Wheel beckon like a seaside postcard. Beneath the towering thrills stands Indy's destination: Toy Story Midway Mania. The only problem: A battalion of Green Army Men approaching from every direction.
 

Indy heads directly for the water, his only possible escape. The soldiers surround him at the edge of the bay. Indy climbs onto the railing rimming the water just as a massive fountain in the bay sends a jet stream rocketing skyward. The explosive blast distracts Indy just enough that he loses his footing and tumbles into the water.
 

As Indy surfaces, Green Army Men leap into the man-made lake after him. The fountains filling the bay fire in synchronous cycles creating a hydrotechnic display first made popular by the Bellagio casino in Las Vegas. The quiet morning hours before Pixar World opens to guests are the last time the show elements can be tested before the World of Color nighttime spectacular.
 

A 50-foot-tall fountain blast misses Indy by only a few inches as he swims toward the center of the bay amid what sounds like rocket fire. The soldiers aren't as lucky. The powerful fountains hidden just below the water’s surface send the soldiers cartwheeling skyward.
 

In the middle of the bay, a soldier pulls Indy underwater. When they finally surface, the sky is filled with flames and the air with the smell of burning fuel. Massive flamethrowers spit fire from the bay like a row of angry aquatic dragons. Indy grabs the soldier and holds him against the flames until his plastic green coating begins to melt.
 

Looking up, Indy lashes his whip to Mickey's Fun Wheel and pulls himself out of the water. As he reaches a dangling gondola, the 160-foot-tall Ferris wheel stirs to life. Indy climbs atop a gondola car as it slides to the center of the wheel. The swaying gondola sends Indy flying through the air. Indy halts his fall with his whip. Lashed to a spoke, Indy lifts himself onto the spinning wheel as Green Army Men on the Paradise Pier boardwalk below hop aboard gondolas to give chase.
 

Careful to maintain his balance, Indy jumps from support to support as the wheel rises to the precipice. All over the wheel, soldiers scale the armature like climbers on a sheer cliff. Down below, the water shimmers with an array of neon colors from the illuminated Ferris wheel as dawn breaks. At the top of the wheel, a soldier greets Indy with a punch to the face that nearly sends him falling 16 stories to the bay below. The pair trade blows, each jab seemingly destined to send the recipient to his watery doom. Finally, Indy lands a punch combination that rocks the soldier off balance, sending him tumbling down with a tremendous splash.