Beautiful Lies (11 page)

CHAPTER EIGHT

PAIGE’S STORY

I
’m running late. I should have been at Brenda’s house for 2’o clock but after Rick left I had to immerse myself in the shower and soak away my shame. I’m not particularly excited about going to this little dinner today. We are apparently going to be the most dysfunctional family in history. I will be sat there with the regrets of making love to my
ex
boyfriend. Liv will be not only mourning her friend but also her ex boyfriend if he did show up at the funeral. Nate--if he turns up--is going to be holding onto old grudges and making the meal uncomfortable anyway. And Brenda will be trying to overdo it by making every effort to be unnaturally nice to Nate. Yes, dysfunctional is definitely the right word.

Thankfully, I don’t get caught in traffic along the way. I keep looking down at my phone as I drive, seeing if Rick is going to text. Even though my phone is set to loud, I keep checking it anyway, in case I miss something. It’s silly. I thought about texting him after he left but I couldn’t think of anything beyond an abusive message, so I settled on not making myself look crazy. Rick had made it clear that he needed to move on. It may hurt but the truth is that he’s probably right. I just need to learn to accept that and move forward. Starting now. I need to take my focus off Rick and start figuring out how I can stop these dreams from happening. Thoughts of Taylor usually brighten my day but just the thought of him is making me angry. He has practically destroyed my reality and he is not even real!

I park my car a few houses down as there are no other spaces. I walk quickly to the front door, knocking on it gently.

“Paige,” my mother greets me as she swings the door open with a smile on her face.

“Hey, Brenda,” I reply as she embraces me.

“You’re alone?” She asks sadly, glancing over my shoulder.

“Yes, there’s still time,” I reassure her, hoping that Nate may have listened to what I had said.

“Yes, of course. Your sister is in the lounge.”

I leave my shoes at the door, hang my coat up on the rack and make my way inside.

“I’m just going to check on dinner,” she says before excusing herself. I see Liv staring out of the window with a sad look on her face when I enter the lounge.

“Hey,” I say quietly as I stand next to her. “You ok?”

She nods.

“How did the funeral go?”

“It was a beautiful service. Lilly would have been proud,” she whispers.

“And was Gavin there?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“Barely, it wasn’t really the time or place. And honestly, I didn’t know what to say. It’s been four years, Paige. If he missed me he would have come back by now, right? There’s not much point in digging up the past.”

“You’re ok with that?”

“What?”

“Not having answers.”

“I’ve survived four years,” she laughs humorlessly.

“Yes but this is different. You’ve never had the chance to ask; to find out the truth.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to know. He looked fine, so obviously things can’t have been that bad.”

“I guess you’re right.” I know that she’s hurting so I decide to change the subject. “I spoke to Nate...about coming today.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing, he literally said nothing. I’m just hoping that he listened to what I said.”

“He’s just hurting.”

“I know but until he faces this it’ll only get worse.”

“I know,” she breathes.

“Girls?”

We both swing around in the direction of the voice. Brenda is stood in the doorway smiling at us. “The dinner is ready but I thought that we could wait a little longer before eating. Unless you want to eat now?”

“I’m fine, I can wait,” I answer.

“Me too.”

“Great, then how about a catch up?” She beams, taking a seat on the couch furthest away from the window.

Liv and I sit next to each other on the smaller chair. Things are still a little awkward but we are trying and that’s the main thing.

“So, how are you both?” She asks excitedly. We both glance at each other knowing that it is the worse question for both of us right now.

“Great,” I lie.

“That’s lovely to hear. Liv?”

“Yes, I’m good, thank you.” Like me, she’s lying.

“What about you?” I ask Brenda.

“Oh, I’m doing great. I started a Salsa class the other day, you know, just to get out of the house. It’s been a little hard after Ronald’s death to get out and meet people.” The name sends a shiver down my spine and makes the room a little tense. We may all be trying to move forward but hearing the name of the man that your mother left you and your father for doesn’t leave a particularly good taste in your mouth, even if he is dead. Although, in my current situation it’s a little harder to pass judgment.

“That’s great,” I reply.

“Liv, you said that you went to a funeral yesterday. Did it go ok?”

“Yes, it was a beautiful service, she would have been very proud of her family.”

“Good. How’s that young man of yours, Paige?”

My stomach drops. I haven’t even told Liv about Rick and I yet.

Suddenly the door bell rings, saving me from this awkward conversation. Brenda jumps to her feet in shocked excitement. “I’ll just go and get that.” I know that she is hoping that it is Nate. So am I.

“Hey, you went a little pale there, like you’d seen a ghost, everything ok?”

“Rick left, last night.”

“What?” Liv shout whispers.

“It’s a long story, I’ll fill you in later,” I say as I hear Brenda’s footsteps heading in our direction. Liv nods. I look up just in time to see Timothy walking through the door.

“Hey,” I beam as I stand to my feet to greet him. “You’ve grown,” I tease.

“Not much,” he chuckles. He turns to Liv and then embraces her.

“Hey, Timmy,” she smiles.

“Hey,” he smiles at her.

“I’m just going to take something out of the freezer,” Brenda says, rushing out of the room again.

“Has she been like this long?” Timothy asks.

“Yes,” Liv says with an eye roll.

“She’s hoping that Nate comes,” I explain.

“Is he?” He asks, almost just as much for himself as for her. Once we learned that we had a brother, Liv and I made a huge effort to try and get to know him. Nate hasn’t really taken to Timothy so well. Deep down, I think that he feels like Timothy replaced him. It’s a constant reminder that our mother left us to start a whole new life. It’s not Timothy’s fault, of course, but Nate is not ready to accept that yet.

“I’m not sure,” I say.

“Ok,” he answers.

“So, how’s high school, last year now, right?” Liv asks.

“Yes, I’m officially an adult,” he laughs.

“Not really, you can’t drink or go out for another three years sweetie. You have to wait until your twenty one like us
real
adults,” Liv teases.

“It all depends on if you can get hold of fake ID actually,” he winks.

“I don’t think so,” I interrupt.

“Oh, come on, are you guys saying that you never used fake ID?” He asks.

“No,” I answer confidently. We both turn to Liv who is silent. “You used fake ID?” I ask her.

“Yeah, everyone did, you were just too much of a good girl back in school, Paige,” she laughs.

“It looks like I’m the good sibling after all,” I chuckle.

“Seems like you guys are having fun in here,” Brenda interrupts, appearing at the doorway. “Shall we eat?” She looks sad.

“I thought you wanted to wait a little longer?” Liv asks gently.

“I don’t think that there’s much of a point, is there? He’s not coming...” She turns away and leaves the room. We all follow in silence unsure of what to say. When we enter the dining room the table is laid out for five. I glance at Liv knowingly and she raises her eyebrows.

“Right, you all make yourself comfortable and I will start bringing everything through,” she says, before picking up the fifth plate and set of cutlery.

“We can help,” I interject.

“No, I’ll be fine, just sit, please.” I obey.

I sit opposite Liv and next to Timothy. We all sit in an awkward silence as she leaves the room.

“I should go and check on her,” Timothy states, rising to his feet. We both nod at him and then turn to face one another.

“She looks so sad,” Liv says after Timothy has left the room.

“I know, but there’s not much that we can do, Nate is stubborn.”

“Yeah, he is,” she agrees. “So, tell me about Rick?” She says, lowering her voice.

“He left, Liv.”

“I don’t understand, I thought that after you saw that therapist you said that you were going to talk things out.”

“So did I. Apparently this is all too much for him now. I can’t blame him.”

“It is a difficult situation.”

“I know,” I breathe.

“So what happens now?”

“Well, he is staying with his brother until he gets his own place, it seems. He came round just before I got here to collect some things.”

“What happened?” She asks eagerly. I duck my head in shame and feel my cheeks heat up. “Paige, you slept with him didn’t you?”

“Yes, but it doesn’t matter, it meant nothing.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Ok, then it meant nothing
to him
,” I add.

“I don’t believe that either. Even if he acted like it didn’t, trust me, it did. I’ve seen the way he is with you, Paige. He loves you.”

“Yeah, well, clearly not enough.”

“He probably just needs time and space. This will give you the perfect opportunity to try and sort everything out. Maybe you can find a way to stop these dreams and then you two can try again.”

“Maybe,” I mutter.

“Everything will work out. I promise.”

“Thanks, Liv,” I smile at her.

We are both sat quietly, lost in our thoughts when Brenda and Timothy start bringing in different dishes. After a few minutes the table is full. There’s a full roast chicken, stuffing, mash, vegetables and gravy. It smells amazing.

“This looks great,” I tell Brenda. She smiles at me lovingly.

“Thank you, Paige. Timothy, can you say grace?” She asks as we all duck our heads.

“For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful and bless those who are less fortunate, in Jesus’ name.”

“Amen,” we all say.

“Let’s tuck in,” Timothy grins, rubbing his hands together eagerly. We all laugh.

* * *

Dinner goes well. We spend the time sharing stories. Everything goes smoothly until I see that I have a missed call and voicemail from Rick. I ignore the message but it bothers me the entire time that I am there.

As it gets late, Liv and I say our goodbyes and promise to do this again, soon.

“That was nice,” Liv says as we walk toward our cars.

“Yeah, it was.”

“The message, is it from Rick?” She asks.

“How did you know?”

“Sister’s know everything,” she winks at me and I laugh.

“Yeah.”

“Are you going to listen to it?”

“Yeah, when I get home, I will.”

“Well you know where I am if you need to talk, cry or eat a whole tub of Ben and Jerry’s.”

I start laughing. “Yeah, I’ve got you on speed dial,” I tease. “And I’m here if you need me, too,” I add.

“We sound like a pair of old women in depression,” she chuckles.

“Yeah, we do don’t we?”

“Yup. Right, I solemnly declare that after today I will no longer mope, cry or display any form of depressive behavior,” she says loudly.

I shake my head at her. “Ok...I solemnly swear that I will not mope, cry or display any form of depressive behavior whatsoever after today. And I swear to eat tubs and tubs of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream with you!” We are laughing like crazy people now.

“Perfect. I say, we have a girl’s night at mine tomorrow. I’ll get the ice cream; you bring the rom-coms. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect, thanks, Liv.”

“It’s a sister’s job. We pick each other up when we are down even if we are both down at the same time.”

“Yeah,” I agree.

“Good, and don’t forget to text me so that I know you’re in safe.”

“Yeah, you do the same and give Nate a call, make sure he’s ok.”

“I will. Love you, sis,” she calls as we go our separate ways.

“Love you more,” I smile as I head to my car.

“Impossible!”

When I get in my car, I sit back and smile to myself. A girl’s night in sounds good. A quiet one...unlike last night’s antics.