Beautiful Lies (8 page)

He only nods. I sit down, next to him and watch him.

“You know most of what happened. The night in the gallery...driving to the store.”

“Yes, it all goes blank once I cross the road. I remember nothing after that, only waking up in the hospital.”

“I told you to hurry up in the store, I was eager to get you home and you were smiling at me. You were looking back and smiling at me. You shouldn’t have been looking back but you were because you were looking at
me
,” I can hear the guilt in his voice. I take his hand in mine and squeeze it gently. “You were distracted, but I saw the car coming straight at you. It was too late. It all happened so fast. I screamed your name, tried to warn you. You turned away from me to look at the car. You were just frozen, staring at the car and I was screaming at you to move or jump out of the way but I think that you were in shock. Then there was a loud bang. I will never forget that sound. It was like I could hear your bones being crushed. I thought that you were dead. You were just lying on the floor not moving. I searched your body with my eyes for movement but there was nothing. I just kept thinking that you were dead.”

“But I wasn’t,” I say, smiling.

“No.”

“What about the driver?”

“What about them?” He asks in confusion.

“Well, what happened after they hit me?”

He stares at me with a pained expression for several long seconds before taking a long deep breath.

“I didn’t see them.”

“I don’t get it. How could you not see them?” I ask in frustration.

“It was dark, their car windows were tinted and they just drove away.” The memory seems to make him angry.

“It was a hit and run?” My stomach drops. He hesitates for a moment before clearing his throat.

“Yes.”

“The police never found them?” I ask curiously.

“You know they didn’t,” he says in frustration.

“I was unconscious for a month, how am I supposed to know what happened?”

“They questioned you when you woke up.”

“Yes and I didn’t remember anything. I was more concerned about getting better.”

“Well, no, they didn’t...I had
nothing
to give them and they had nothing to go on. Case closed.”
Is that why he looks so guilty? He feels that he is to blame for the police not catching the person.

“And that’s it?”

“What exactly was you expecting, some Hollywood movie script?” He answers sarcastically.

“No, I was just expecting more. I need answers.”

“Well, now you know that I don’t have them, can we just drop this?” He says rising to his feet.

“Are you kidding me?”

“What?” He turns around to stare at me.

“Did you not hear a word that I said just now? Clarise said that remembering could be my only chance of stopping these dreams.”

“
Could
be...it’s not a guarantee. What if it doesn’t work?”

“Well I won’t know until I try, will I?”

“I’m not playing this game.” I’m looking into his eyes but I cannot believe that he is reacting this way.

“Game? This is my life, Rick!
Our
life in case you had forgotten, and right now I’m doing everything that I can to fix it!”

“Ok, so you try to remember...let’s say it works. You remember every tiny detail of that night but the dreams don’t stop. What then? You’re haunted with the images of what happened just like me and where does that leave us, Paige? Tell me! Better off?”

“I don’t know but at least I’m willing to try! I have to.”

“Why now? This has been going on for a whole year so what the hell is so different now why you feel the need to try so damn hard!” His words anger me.

“I’m pregnant!” I scream. I didn’t mean to say it but it just comes out.

“What?” He asks bewildered.

I can’t talk for a moment. He is watching me and I feel so bare. I try to gather my thoughts and figure out how to speak again.

His eyes trail down to my stomach before meeting my eyes again. He takes a step toward me; his face is filled with so much emotion. “You’re pregnant?” I hear the glimmer of hope in his voice and my heart feels crushed.

I avert my gaze away from him and slowly shake my head. “In the dreams with Taylor...I’m pregnant. I found out last night.” He takes a step back. I see a look of disgust pass his face. He starts pacing the room with his hands on his head.

“I don’t get it,” he finally says.

“What don’t you get?”

“How can you be?”

“Rick...my dreams with Taylor are consecutive. Every night it just picks up where it left off. Last night I found out that I was pregnant...eventually if the dreams don’t stop I’m going to have his baby. I’m going to build a family with him...things are going to get worse. That’s why I am trying so hard...I’m trying to save
us.
” I sound crazy saying it out loud.

“Consecutive?” He breathes in shock. I nod guiltily. “No wonder you’re in...” He can’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

He begins chanting the word
no
over and over again. His hands are back on his head and he’s moving around frantically, until finally he stops and punches the bedroom door. I flinch but don’t move from where I am stood. I watch in silence as his hands fall to his sides and his head leans against the now closed door.

“How could you let him take that from me?” He asks with his back to me. I don’t speak. He turns toward me and the tears are running down his cheeks. My heart feels heavy. “That was supposed to be
us,
Paige...something for us...ours...and you let him take it. How could you let him give you the one thing that was supposed to be mine?” He asks sadly.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“Were you happy?” He asks suddenly.

“What?”

“When you found out about the baby...were you happy?”

“Rick-”

“Just answer the question.”

“Yes,” it comes out weak and feeble.

He just stares at me and the pain in his eyes is evident. I feel numb. I don’t know how to fix this.

“I have to get out of here,” he says in a hurry.

“Where are you going?” I ask as he walks past me and pulls his suitcase out of the closet and begins packing his clothes. He ignores my question. “Rick, you don’t need to leave like this.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, where are you going to go?” I ask, worriedly.

“I’ll book a room at a hotel and then I’ll go and stay with Danny until I can arrange something else.”

“Danny? You haven’t spoken to your brother in a year and now you’re just going to turn up at his door step?”

“What choice do I have?” I’m silent. “I can’t stay here...not after...” His eyes flicker down to my stomach and I feel the guilt eat away at me.

“It’s not real, Rick. I can figure this out.”

“It is real, Paige. Up here,” he says tapping his head. “And in here,” he places his hand on his heart. “For you it
is
real.”

“I wish that it wasn’t,” I say sadly.

“Yeah...me too.”

“I didn’t ask for this, Rick.”

“Neither did I, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is tearing us apart,” he whispers.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that we need a chance to figure this out without causing each other anymore pain.”

“This isn’t your fault, Rick.”

“But I’m not making it any easier.”

“And leaving will make it easier?” I ask as he zips up his suitcase and picks it up.

“I don’t know...maybe...yes.”

“I’m trying to make things right. I’m really trying...”

“I know and I love you for it but if we’re both being honest, it’s not enough. We can’t keep doing this to each other. I’m constantly in a battle for your heart and you’re always consumed by guilt.”

“You have my heart,” I say sadly.

“Part of it.”

I can’t answer. He’s right.

“We can get through this if we have each other. I will learn not to love him. I will find a way...just please...don’t leave me. I can’t do this by myself.”

“I’m sorry,” he says stepping forward. He places the suitcase on the floor and cups my face with his hands and looks into my eyes. “I wish that you were right but you’re not.”

“Don’t do this, Rick.” I feel the tears.

“I’m sorry, but I have no choice. I love you, Paige, but it’s breaking my heart watching you fall for someone else. I want to give you everything, I want to marry you and have kids with you, but not like this. Not while you build a life with someone else as well. I know I said I could handle this...and I thought that I could but...it’s hard. I have to go...I need you to let me go,” he plants a soft kiss on my forehead and then turns and walks away. I follow him.

“Rick, wait. What about the gallery?” I ask.

“I will never take that away from you. You will always have a place there. We just need to figure stuff out....we’ll make it work.”

“Thank you,” I whisper.

The next thing that I hear is the sound of the door close and my heart crumbling into a thousand pieces.

CHAPTER SIX

PAIGE’S STORY

“ W
hat about Trent?”

I shake my head and smile.

“Ok, Antonio?”

“No.”

“Oh, come on, you’ve turned down the last ten names that I’ve suggested,” he complains.

“I haven’t heard one that I like yet, that’s why. And you’re only coming up with boys’ names, what if we’re having a girl?” I raise my eyebrows and smile.

“It’s a boy, babe, I can tell.”

“How?” I laugh.

“I just know these things,” he chuckles.

“Really, and how many women have you got pregnant before?” I tease.

“Just one but I’m very good at these things, trust me,” he whispers before his lips meet mine. I trust him.

“It’s too early to start choosing names anyway. I only did the test yesterday and I haven’t even been to the doctors yet to confirm it.”

“You’re pregnant, trust me.”

“Yeah, you keep telling me to do that.”

“Then you probably should,” he laughs.

“Yeah, maybe,” I roll my eyes.

“Come on,” he says, taking my hand and leading us through the open park. “Here,” he says, pointing at a spot on the grass.

“It’s perfect,” I say, smiling at him.

He lays down the blanket on the grass. When I try and help set up the picnic, he refuses and says that I should take it easy. I just laugh. I can’t complain though, I quite like the pampering.

“Ok, Ms Carter, take a seat,” he says gesturing toward the blanket on the ground.

“Thank you,” I beam. It’s a nice day. The sun is out and I feel relaxed. Yesterday was a little crazy. Taylor couldn’t stop getting excited about the idea of having a baby. He had questions all night, mainly ones that I couldn’t answer since I’ve never had a baby before. I told him to write them down and ask the doctor.

He has taken the whole thing so well. I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about this but he’s even more excited than I am. I stare at him as he spreads out the food that he has placed on the blanket. I love him so much. I couldn’t imagine life without him. He’s just so perfect. Sometimes I wonder if I am even good enough for him. Does he love me even a fraction of the amount that I love him? I hope so.

“What are you thinking?” He breaks my thoughts. I smile.

“Just how lucky I am to have you.”

“Not as lucky as me.”

“Are you just saying that or do you really mean it?”

He stops what he is doing to look at me. “Are you kidding me? You have no idea how much I love you, do you?” I’m silent. “Paige, you think that I’m just happy because of the pregnancy, but I’m not. I’m happy because it’s you that’s having my baby. I love you more than life itself and you’re about to produce a life that will have my blood running through its veins. Gosh, I can’t even explain what that means to me but it means more than you’ll ever know.”

I’m speechless. “Ok,” it’s the only word that I can get out before a loud bang interrupts us. I look in the direction of the noise but see nothing. I turn back toward Taylor but he is gone, so is the blanket and food.

“Taylor?” I call out his name. I swing around but he’s nowhere to be seen. I call his name several more times but he’s gone...

My eyes snap open and I gasp for breath. I’m shaking. Taylor...where is he? My eyes search frantically before I let out an exasperated breath. I am in bed, mine and
Rick’s
bed. I was
dreaming.
As always my mind taunts me with the same sentence every morning that I awaken.
Taylor’s not real.
I close my eyes and try to calm down my breathing. Suddenly I hear a loud banging noise, the same one from my dream. I open my eyes again and sit up. The banging comes again.
It’s the door.
I jump out of the bed, run my fingers through my hair and head toward it.