BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (193 page)

"No you snap out of it, you are still my wife! I didn't agree-..."

"If I hear those words again I'm gonna scream! I know!! You don't have to keep repeating it over and over! I know!"

"Then come home!"

"No - do you hear me?" She started backing away from him, "No ... now leave me alone Victor, leave me alone." She spun with her back to him making her way towards her friends. She didn't care if he stood where he was all night; the whole thing was making her crazy.

Victor remained a moment watching her depart, his eyes then swung past her to Omiyah, narrowing with a harsh glare. She must have caught it because she turned away as if she hadn't seen him, but he knew better. Backing up as well, he went into his car, closing the door, turned on the radio, and pulled out his mobile phone and began a text message session.

Text; *You keep your mouth shut with her!*

It only took a couple of seconds before Omiyah felt her mobile vibrating. Crystal was engaged in conversation with Rochelle and Letté, she pulled out her phone and read the message, knowing immediately who from. Her eyes rolled up to across the road where Victor sat in his car. He was sitting with his back to the passenger side door, feet up against the drivers door, watching them from the shadows, and as she knew, texting her.

In reply, her text said,
See me later!

Are you nuts - no!

You're divorced - accept it - you have me. She doesn't even want you anymore.

Getting her reply and reading it, something occurred to him, in reply to her,
Find out what's going on w/that Ben.

Meet me later, I will.

An' keep your mouth SHUT!

I do what I want - meet me I said.

Okay dammit, later - much later.

No, after we leave here - you meet me!

"Who you texting like crazy?" Rochelle asked, noticing.

Quick to cover herself, she brought up her argument with her roommate that took place the day before, "Rachel damn ass - she pissing me off about my damn clothes! I told her already stay out of my shit, now she asking to wear something else of mine! Can't have shit for some people, they wanna take everything you have, or had first!" She lied, the last part with more direct meaning, to redirect anyone from catching it, she asked, "We going out tonight or what?"

The comment went over Crystal's head because her mind was elsewhere having been telling her friends what was going on, of course unaware of the other conversation happening around her. "Naw, not tonight - I have to pass, maybe this weekend."

"Whatever," Rochelle commented and noticing Victor, even though they couldn't actually see him sitting in the dark car, they all knew he was there watching them. "Is he gone just sit there, watching you?" She asked.

"He says he's not going anywhere as long as Ben is around."

"Whoop, there it is! So he is a no go huh?" Rochelle asked.

Crystal could have kicked herself for giving that part up. "We're just friends, but Victor sees him as a threat."

"Ah huh huh, of course he will, fine as he is, shit!"

"Crystal, I thought you were head over heels in love with Victor?" Kayla asked.

"The problem is, Victor is not head over heels for me - he just sees me as his."

"'Cause he pop that cher-ry!" Rochelle whispered so only they could here it, teasing Crystal, "He tryin' to make sure nobody else get in there. You ain't gone ever get rid of his ass, crazy ass white boy! But if this was my mama's crib, I wouldn't be having that shit, stalkin' ass!"

"I've tried to get him to leave, but he won't go."

"Call the police on his ass; what your mama say? Your step-dad, what he say?" Again Rochelle, she always dominated the discussion and everyone else just got theirs in when they found an opening - besides, she always gave the ride, so that automatically put her out front leading.

"My mother is trying to be patient, and my step-dad wants to break every bone in his body."

"Shit that's my daddy - he don't play that shit! Parking out in front of his crib, his ass would have been gone and that's that."

"Shawn is the same way, but I asked him to just leave him alone. I don't want him getting hurt, he doesn't deserve that."

"Screw that! No no no no, that's what's wrong with some of these fools! They don't like taking no for an answer - and you letting him, walk all over you."

"No I'm not Rochelle! He's the father of my sons, and if what he says is true, I can't just - cut him."

"So what you gone do? You might as well just take your ass on back home with him then! If you gone let him get away with this, it ain't over! That's why he doin' it!"

"No, he doin' it because he can't take no for an answer!" Crystal defended.

"No, he doin' it because your, NO, don't mean, NO, it means maybe, I'll see."

"I personally, don't think it's so easy as that. I mean, if it were me, I wouldn't know what to do either, he's obviously in love, that's why he's there." Kayla put in.

"He there because there is a Ben on the scene, let's just be real with it. He there because she turned him out, and not the other way around. Come on now, we all know Victor ass from school, he was the shit! Now here he is, dropped! No no, this all about his pride, that's why he won't leave - no shit on you Crystal, but hey, most nigga's be done stepped off by now, saying, fuck it, whatever - I'm out."

"I think you right, I mean, not to bring me in on this, but look how he turned away from me? When you're after Victor, he's not interested in you. But if you turn your back on him, he's on you like white on rice - which is why he was after you in the first place Crystal, let's be honest. Plus, you were a freshy - and a virgin, he had to be the one that got you." Omiyah added her thoughts.

Crystal just listened, turning one way and then the other, hearing what they were saying.

"Yeah but, he married her after he got her." Rochelle reminded Omiyah, "He wasn't offerin' you nothing but some dick. So obviously he cared some."

"'Cause she was a virgin, once he knew that, he wouldn't let go! Wouldn't be denied!"

Crystal heard enough and stood up, "I got to go in, my mama was bathing my boys, I need to see them off to bed."

"Em hm, other words, get the hell out my business!" Rochelle stood grinning, okay with it.

"You mean well, but - it's me, I got to work it out."

"And that fine ass stepbrother? What about him? Can I come over for dinner every now and then, or what?" She was again joking, but testing the waters.

"Rochelle, you welcome here anytime, as for Ben - I have no hold on him." She replied despite knowing the opposite being true.

Jiggling her keys, rolling her eyes, "Negro please - you ask me, I'm willing to bet, he the reason yo'ass ain't back with Victor right now, that's what the stalling is all about. No biggie, I'll be back to hear about the next phase as this drama unfolds. My life ain't shit right now, so I'll follow yo' shit."

"Ha ha ha!" Crystal sang out mockingly as they all made their way to Rochelle's car.

On the drivers side as she opened the door, she turned to yell at Victor, "Take yo' crazy ass home white boy - 'cease that stalkin'!" She laughed at him.

Victor sounded out with a, "Ha Ha Ha! You just mad 'cause I'm not stalking you!" He joked back, very used to Rochelle.

"AH! So yo' flaky ass admit it! I knew that shit! Hey, but I ain't mad, shit I need a man with mo' pigmentation - tall - dark - sexy... like a Benjamin." She whispered the last part so he couldn't hear it, but Crystal did. "Rochelle get your crazy ass gone, need you makin' shit worse!" She fussed at the car.

"He ain't hear'me! I'm just playing." Then got in the car, leaned down to look at Crystal across Kayla's lap, "Not! Go on gurl, sample you some Mr. Ben so you know - sleep around some - got to be sure!" She advised, still playing.

"No thank you - I'll pass, see ya'll later."

They were all in, the car was started and they pulled off.

Crystal refused to look towards Victor even though she could feel his eyes on her, she even thought he called her name, even so, she headed back across the yard into the house where right away, she could hear her boys excited chatter from the room Mundo moved out of, that now belonged to them. They were excited because Ben was in the room with them, calming them down, putting them to bed, talking low and soothing with a voice so masculine and soothing, it worked on her frayed nerves as well. She quietly eased up to the door, staying just out of sight. There were only low, soft lights on from the lamp and night lights, she leaned over carefully peaking in to watch him. He was sitting on the bed leaning over Isaac, who was under the covers.

"Come t'bed Ben - lay down, g'some sleep." He was patting the space next to him.

"When I lay down, I'll be somewhere else now, our little vacation together is over."

"You sleep here Ben, i's okay." Isaac was almost insistent.

He was stroking Isaac's hair looking down at him, he didn't see a little boy that belonged to Victor, that looked like Victor, he saw Crystal's precious son, Isaac, that he positively adored. "If things were different, I would little man. Right now, we have to go back to normal - and that means, you won't be seeing me that much anymore - not as much as when we were in California - it'll be just now and then - when I'm working in the studio maybe. We'll talk some more later, time to get some sleep."

"I see you in the mornin' Ben?"

"Em, not first thing. You'll be seeing more of your father now, you should spend more time with him."

"I'ma be wit' you Ben, Darren can be wit' him."

Ben sighed, "Get some sleep tonight okay, give me a kiss and hug?"

Isaac sat up right away, hugging him tight. Ben held him, squeezing him, kissed his forehead, his brow, and held him for a moment as if he struggled to let go, until Darren called out, "Kiss Ben, kiss!"

He smiled, telling Isaac, "Lay down now, gotta learn to share me." Isaac laid down, quiet, watching him as he moved to the crib, lifting Darren out of it, hugging him, his large hand palming the round back of his blonde curly head of hair, kissing his face, his sweet little mouth and holding him, rocking him a moment, "Love you little mister, gonna go right to sleep right?"

"Ni-ni Ben." He nodded with Ben Laying him back in the crib, covering him up. He stood staring at him a moment and then turned his head to look at Isaac. He missed them already, because he knew - it was only a matter of time before Victor probably blocked him from them entirely - he could see it coming.

He turned away heading for the door and saw Crystal standing back, that she'd been watching him. He had nothing to say and so pulled the door slightly to and went to pass her by.

"Ben - please ..." She whispered real low.

He stopped, his back to her, hating the sound of her voice, the pleading in it. That's all she had to do, just say his name and he'd stop. She moved closer to him, right behind him, he could feel her there, her hand lightly touched his back as she softly reminded him, "... you said - you promised me - we'd always be friends. Remember? You promised me that."

He turned to her in the dark hallway, staring down at her, "It was something you promised as well. How can I be a friend to someone that doesn't even trust me? You claim, to not know me, why should we be friends if that's true?" He whispered back.

She gazed into his eyes there in the hallway, and wanted to sink into him. She wanted his arms around her even if just for a moment, it was as if he hadn't heard her words, because he wanted her to say something more. All she knew for certain is that she didn't want to lose him, what they shared. Having Rochelle go on about him shook her up a bit within, if she were to be honest with herself. She didn't want him turning to another woman, yet - she would not give him what he sought from her. She knew she was being selfish for this, but couldn't help that, she couldn't move forward - nor could she move back from him, not now.

"Well?" He whispered sharply.

His tone with her brought tears to her eyes, she didn't know what it was about him? With Victor, the tone would have made her bristle up, take offense, as if she had to defend herself, but with Ben, it made her want to reason with him, make things better.

"Between you - and him, you guys are draining me. I don't wanna lose what we share. I'm sorry I accused you instead of asking you. I'm sorry for everything happening right now. I'm sorry - that - I'm handling this so wrong. Everyone has the answer - but they're not in my shoes. All I want to do - is - is..." She was on the verge of crying, "... is be fair - to him and be honest - with you - but it's not enough, I'm getting it from both ends, nothing I do is eno-..."

Ben grabbed her, herding her into the bathroom they stood next to for quick privacy.

"Shhh, shhh oh babe - don't cry. I never want to make you cry. God, I can't stand the idea of that, shhh, I'm sorry - I'm sorry, it's me Crystal, not you, it's me! I did promise you. I just get so wound up. I'm here - I'm here for you, you need me, the boys need me, I'm here, I swear to you, I don't mean to make it worse and I am, I know I am. God, don't cry." He held her, hugging her tightly listening to her sniff and hold him just as tightly, her face against his chest, turning one way, then the other, holding on.

"I - I don't wanna lose you Ben - but - I - this pressure, from every side is choking me."

"No more pressure from me. Okay? No more. Whatever you need, I'll deliver and nothing else. You tell me right now, what do you need?"

She sniffed again, holding onto his solid strength, "This - just this - just a hug, just you telling me - you won't disappear on me."

He held her tight in the dark bathroom, fighting his urges to go further, he wanted so badly to kiss her, but he wouldn't - she didn't need that, it would be more pressure and more of a wedge between them. A moment went by, he reached over and flicked the light on. Pulling slightly away from her, his bent index finger caught her chin lifting her face up to look into her eyes, "Better now?"

She sniffed, nodding.