BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (192 page)

"Em, that's nice." She returned dryly.

He paused, his eyes raptly on her and knew immediately all was not right. He had been lounging back in his office chair, her expression made him sit forward. "Something wrong?"

"Yeah - I cannot believe you told Victor about us, in L.A."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"On me like bees on honey? Your plans to take me and the boys away? Things that happened there?!"

"He's a fuckin' liar! I never said a thing to him about us in L.A. - nothing! Crystal, don't confront me like I'm stupid! There's no way in the world I would ever tell him anything about us, ever!" He stood from the chair, angry as hell. "I'm gonna tell you something right now, he's desperate! He'll say anything, truth or not, to keep you away from me, know why? Because he can't stand the thought of you moving on and leaving him! While I can't blame him one bit for it - what stinks about him is, all of his energy is about you, instead of about his own goddamn sons! Something else - I don't like the way he handles them - I don't like how impatient he is with them - or the fact that he takes them on, just - because - they're his sons. Crystal, he's not into them - they are nothing more than a means to an end."

"You trying to say he doesn't love his own sons?"

"Maybe he does love them, but you know what, there are men out there, that can't be a father to small children. They can only deal with them when they're older, full of common interest and can basically take care of themselves without having to change them, feed them, watch them, entertain them. I've seen it many times in the Dells when teaching swimming. Father's that couldn't cope with their young ones, but were fine with their older kids. So maybe, maybe he's just one of them - okay - I'll give him that. Maybe he's waiting for them to get older so he can toss a ball to them without having to take them to the toilet, when they're not throwing a tantrum because they can't have bubble gum at the checkout. In truth, I don't know which he is - but I know this, he needs to be their father now - right now - not a fuckin' babysitter who can't wait for their mother to return! And right now, that's - what he is. So let me get this in and make it clear, no matter what you decide Crystal, based on all, I can tell you this - I'm not the one! He is not going to punk me out with his bullshit and lies! He may have you fooled, but I'm not having it! You know me Crystal - dammit! He's all front!"

"How do I know that? How do I know that you're not all front?! All bullshit and lies?"

Ben paused, then deflated, as if her words let the air out of his tires, "You don't. That's really it in the nutshell isn't it? With him, you think you know what you'll be getting - maybe. With me, you don't - I'm another gamble. And knowing you, because I do, know you - wanting to do everything right - just so - you're not gonna gamble on me, are you? I don't think you really believe him, but he's given you the argument you need to back away from me, hasn't he?"

"You think being in this situation is easy for me? This is not just about me - if it were just about me - it wouldn't be so hard - in fact, it wouldn't be hard at all. But I have two children that I have to make sure, I'm making the right move for. My life is what it is - their life is still in the making - and I'm the one responsible for making it what it is - I can't afford to gamble with them!"

"Crystal - if you go back to him - it'll be the biggest mistake - of your life. I'm in love with you Crystal, I am. He's not. He's not in love with you - he's not in love with his own flesh and blood sons - oh shit - sorry, I wasn't supposed to say that was I? What the hell - I believe - that I love them more than he does."

"You can't say that! You don't know him - not really. You've only seen him a couple of times and that's with you two going at each other."

Ben threw his hands up, "Loyal to the end, aren't you Crystal? To the very end. Okay, tell me here and now - do I turn my back and walk away from you, never to look back? Tell me now, is that what you want me to do?"

With him putting it like that, was close to getting hit in the stomach, her ears started ringing, because she'd basically said to him already that it wasn't about her, but her boys. If it was just about her, she would be with him right now, in a heart beat, come what may, what ever might be down the road. Tears rushed to her eyes staring at him, "This is so easy for you, isn't it?"

"Are you fuckin' nuts!? You must be if you think that! I'm standing here giving you my heart, have done from the very beginning to take - or break - and you think - that's easy for me?"

Crystal didn't want to face him, she started backing away, turning from him. He grabbed her arm pulling her back to him, "Crystal Bella - I have never lied to you! Not ever! Not - ever! I love you - I love those boys - and I am the one gamble - the one move - you should make! But I can't make you. All of this, really is, up to you. Yes, he is their father ... but remember this, Crystal - who was your father? Armundo Payne - wasn't it? So, go..." He released her. "... the decision is yours - I hope to God you can live with it, because come what may, I have to - don't I?"

Still unable to speak, Crystal turned from him, arms crossed over her breasts, she headed back across the road to see that Rochelle was there with the girls. A new car in fact, she was moving up, doing well.

"Hey hey hey! We here, what's up girl! Check it out, how you like me now?" She bragged to Crystal, posing by her ride as Kayla, Letté and Omiyah climbed out of the car.

Crystal put on a fake smile, waved at them, "Hey! Girl that is too nasty - where the money from? They gone catch yo'butt, stickin' up them Kwik-Trips and all night convenient stores - buyin' fancy cars!" She joked, making Rochelle laugh and slap her a high five. "Shhh, don't tell nobody." Rochelle played along. "Tell me what's on the agenda tonight, you better?"

"Yeah, you know me, give me a minute, I'ah bounce back. What's up with you all? Wassup on your agenda." She asked, smiling at them as they pooled together to greet her.

During the teasing between her and Rochelle, she never saw the look on Omiyah's face, because she too, was good at putting on a fake front, a smile, a look to say all in the world was great - even though, in the pit of her stomach, she wanted to spill her guts to Crystal and tell her, she'd been sleeping with Victor. That she was in love with him; and come what may, she would do all she could to get him. She liked Crystal as a friend, but she loved and wanted Victor more, and was willing to sacrifice their friendship, if it came to that.

"Just here to check on our girl - ain't much else happenin'." Rochelle spoke up.

"Mundo here?" Kayla asked immediately - she had always had a thing for him, but he only played around with her, never saw her as a future prospect. She was very much aware, that he saw Letté that way - yet, the two of them got along fine until they started drinking or getting high.

"He's off doing his thing Kayla, probably won't see him until dawn."

"Girl, that's why he don't see you, you all in his face when he's around, let him look for you." Letté advised.

"Letté I'm not cold like you - besides, I was just asking." Kayla defended herself.

"Here we go, chill with that shit! Oh - oooh shit! Who the hell is that!" Rochelle asked dramatically, having caught sight of Ben as he came out of the studio. Everyone, including Crystal turned to look at him. He was heading their way, his eyes deliberately avoiding Crystal's to make contact with Rochelle and the others, crossing the road to pass by them, speaking, "Evening ladies."

"And such a nice one, Crystal - introduce!" Rochelle demanded.

Ben had no choice but to put on breaks hearing her.

Playing it off once more, Crystal smiled at Ben, "This is ah - Ben, my - my stepbrother - Shawn's oldest; Ben, this is Rochelle, Kayla, Letté and Omiyah."

He really wasn't interested in meeting anyone, but didn't want to be rude, he smiled, shook all of their hands, noting that Rochelle held on the longest.

"Nice meeting you all, don't mind me, I'll leave you now."

"You ain't got to leave, you can stay right where you are." Rochelle boldly invited.

Ben smiled, "Maybe some other time, later ladies." He resumed in his direction, looking for Shawn concerning software that he had, to ask if he could install it on his laptop.

Rochelle turned back to Crystal, "Holy-shit and goddamn, his ass look good - to me! Stepbrother huh? I sure hope that's all?"

"It would seem so, she is married to Victor you know." Letté spoke up.

Rochelle smiled, "Ah, they don't know yet girlfriend, perhaps you'd like to tell them, I don't spread shit - keeps my ass out of trouble."

"What? Don't know what? Didn't tell us what?" Omiyah perked up asking, eyes big to hear what she may have missed.

Rochelle looked at Crystal again, "Well, spit it out - and while you at it, is he - Ben - a no - or a go?"

Crystal hated being put on the spot - ironically enough - more so about Ben, than about her divorce from Victor.

"Well come on, spill it - don't be pausing for dramatics!" Omiyah pushed.

"Victor and I are divorced." She stated simply.

"WHAT?!" Omiyah couldn't have exclaimed softer if she'd tried, repeating, "What?"

"Yeah - I filed, he signed them - well - he says he didn't sign them, that his mother tricked him-.."

"Ah huh, now I see, that's why his ass flipped out and burned his mama's shit down! Crazy ass white boys - I swear. Now, about the one that is your stepbrother - ain't no blood, so - is he a no, or a go?"

"Later for that! What's happening with you and Victor?" Omiyah pushed.

"They divorced, like she said!" Rochelle drawled, "Why you illin' on that? You wantin' to move in on him again or something?"

"No! I just wanna know." Omiyah denied, defending herself.

"Em hm, yeah right - I just bet."

"Rochelle don't be startin' no shit! Leave it alone." Letté spoke up saying.

Crystal looked from Rochelle to Letté and then to Omiyah, and immediately started wondering about it, after all, she used to have a thing for Victor, everyone knew that. "Basically, there's nothing much to know, we're divorced-..." Before she could finish her sentence, a light shined on all of them from an oncoming car, they turned to watch it's approach. "...let's get out this road." She instructed, immediately noticing that it was Victor, so did the others.

"Oooh shit - speaking of the blonde haired, blue eyed devil - he has arrived, ain't that funny?" Rochelle chimed excitedly.

Inside the car, Victor was eyeing each of them; as soon as he saw Omiyah, his heart took off on him. They were all looking his way, which meant they were talking about him - he assumed so because they no doubt had just gotten with Crystal. He pulled up, parked, got out and was not about to leave Omiyah to possibly say something to Crystal - he swore to himself, if she said one thing, she would be sorry.

"Why are you back here?" Crystal asked him softly.

"I told you I would be back, don't act surprised. Whassup ladies?" He asked, but couldn't keep his eyes from straying to Omiyah.

Crystal was watching him closely, saw the flicker - but there was nothing in it other than a fleeting glance to acknowledge her presence. They all nodded at him, quiet, feeling a bit awkward with him present because they were in the midst of finding out what was happening between them, however him being there, did add a bit of intrigue to it all, even so, Crystal turned to them, "Wanna wait for me on the porch, I won't be long."

They all turned to head in that direction with Rochelle calling out boldly, joking, "Don't take all night! You still ain't answered my other question!" She quipped, leading the small group to take a seat.

Crystal turned back to Victor, "You showing up like this - just to stand around, is not helping your case much - I hope you know that?"

"What am I supposed to do Crystal? You should be home with me right now."

"Please don't say that again! You should be sleeping to get ready for work, why aren't you at work?"

"I took off to get my family situation in order."

"What about the space you're supposed to be giving me?"

"Come home, I'll give you all the space you need."

"Come home, come home, come home! Aren't you tried of saying that? I thought that was all beneath you?"

Victor stood silent a moment, staring into her eyes, discarding her words. He suddenly turned his upper body around to look behind him a space. Crystal could see what his eyes were on, Ben's car - across the road before the studio. A clear sign to him, that his competition was near, too near. He turned back to her, "How often is he here?"

"This is his father's home - he can come and go as he pleases."

"Where my wife happens to be staying." He finished the sentence on how he saw things and was stewing once more, "He stay overnight?"

"He has a home elsewhere, but he works with Shawn - so that's why he's here."

"Well, he's why I'm here. When he goes, I'll go. If he's here, I'll be here."

"Victor! This is insane - I can't believe how you're trippin'!"

"You - are - my wife! I'm not trying to argue with you, make anything hard on you. But the fact remains, I did not ask for a divorce, nor agree to a divorce. No one is going to deny me my right to be with my wife! Just so you know, the attorney I've paid, says we can more than likely get an appointment with the judge who did the divorce in his private chambers to explain the mix up - the misunderstanding and have it reversed. I've asked for the quickest appointment available - next Monday afternoon 1:45. I will be there to see to it."

Crystal could only stare up at him. With her arms crossed over her breasts she shook her head in disbelief, "I'm not gonna talk about this with you anymore tonight. I need you to back off and let me think about things, like you said you would do."

"I'm not backing off concerning our divorce, or from the fact that you belong to me."

Feeling on the verge of snapping, Crystal bit out leaning up at him, "I'm not your possession, you didn't purchase me on a freakin' auction block! You're 200 plus years too late for this shit - snap out of it!"