Bound Together (32 page)
Authors: Marie Coulson
“
Your car Miss Jennings.
I’m Daniel and I’ll be your chauffeur this morning.”
Giving him a friendly
smile I climbed in and gazed at the beautiful cream interior. It
looked brand new and smelled like pine and lemon. I stared out of
the window at the house as we reversed off the drive and onto the
street. It would be several days till I was back there again and
back in Jared’s warm, loving embrace. The thought was distressing
and I was instantly in a bad mood; a mood that didn’t dissipate on
the ride back to campus.
I thanked Daniel as he
held out his hand to assist me out of the car and made my way to my
room. The halls were totally soundless except for the noise of the
creaky and well trafficked floorboards underneath my feet as I
walked down the long corridor to my room. I was just about to slide
my key into the lock when I was gripped on my elbow and hauled
backwards. I believe something along the lines of “what the fuck?”
left my lips as I stumbled, dazed into Oliver’s room. Staggering
back and trying to regain my equilibrium, I scanned my assailant.
Standing in front of me, hair tousled as if he just got out of bed
and wearing nothing but a pair of sweat pants, Oliver held his
finger to his lips and shushed me. “I wouldn’t go in there if I
were you. Nick came banging on your door last night and he never
came home. And unless Amy found a rebound guy sometime during the
evening, I’m pretty sure it was him she was calling ‘god’ all
night.”
I cringed and put my
fingers in my mouth pretending to gag. “Too much information Ollie.
How could she forgive him like that? He had some girls’ panties in
his car for heaven’s sake. Is she nuts, desperate or totally
stupid?” I rolled my eyes and shook my head thinking about the
emotional rollercoaster Amy was willingly riding and how bad it
would be when it was over. You know, that moment you step off and
come over all shaky, nauseous and you wonder why the hell you
thought it was a good idea in the first place. “Anyway how did you
know I wasn’t there?” He ran his fingers through his dark tangled
hair and a ghost of a smile touched his lips. “I heard your door
slam last night so I opened mine and saw you storming down the
hall. I was worried about you being out late and it getting dark
soon so…I kind of followed you but I didn’t want to crowd you so I
hung back. You looked like you needed some space. I just wanted to
make sure you were safe. It wasn’t some weird stalker thing. When
you got to the coffee shop I waited on a bench across the street
but left when I saw pretty boy turn up. I figured you’d called him
or something.” I stared at him in total disbelief. He’d followed me
all that way without saying a word. It was a little creepy and yet
totally sweet and typical of Ollie. He was obviously oblivious that
the reason for me storming out was over an argument I’d had with
Jared, otherwise I was pretty sure he’d have blown his cover and
launched himself at him to stop Jared from upsetting me any
further.
Tilting my head at him I
pressed my hands on my hips. This had all gone on long enough and
it was time I set him straight no matter how hard it would
be.
“
Ollie you don’t need to
babysit me. I can take care of myself. It’s really not your place
to be following me around. What do you think would have happened if
Jared had seen you? He’d have gone completely bat shit crazy. He
likes you almost as much as you like him. And stop calling him
names. I shouldn’t have to keep telling you that. Jared is my
boyfriend and if we’re going to stay friends you two are going to
have to learn to get along. I’m getting really sick of this
bullshit Ollie. I know how you feel about me and I’m sorry. I’m
sorry that I don’t feel the same and that I’ve hurt you and yeah
maybe if things had been different we would have ended up together,
but they’re not different. I met Jared, he asked me out and now
we’re a couple. I love him and he loves me right back. But that
doesn’t mean I don’t care very deeply about you. You’re one of my
best friends and I really want things to be ok between us. So would
you please just try and be happy for me and move forward from this?
Please?”
He winced and his face
was contorted as if I had just punched him in the gut. Staring at
the floor he shook his head. “You love him?” It was almost a
whisper. His voice was husky and pained as though the words stuck
like poison in his throat.
“
I do. I’m sorry if that
hurts you to hear it Ollie. But I won’t lie. I love him and he
loves me back.” His head snapped up and his expression had turned
quickly from sadness to intense anger. His eyes were dark and he
glared at me. “Seven weeks. We’ve been here seven fucking weeks and
this guy comes along with his shiny fucking car, high society
lifestyle and sweeps you right off your feet and out of my hands!
And after only a few weeks you fucking love him!? Are you shitting
me Layla? How can you not see this guy for what he is? He’s a tool.
A bonafied cock! A liar, playboy and a chew you up and spit you out
jackass. He doesn’t love you. You’re just the next in a long line
of women he uses to dick around with between meetings. You’re a
number honey so don’t go thinking you’re something special to him.
You’re not.”
A loud crack reverberated
around the room and it took me a moment to register that it had
come from me. My palm was stinging as I watched the pale flesh on
Oliver’s cheek turn a deep shade of pink. I’d slapped him, hard and
with violent intent. His eyes bore into my skull as he glowered at
me. I couldn’t bear to look at him. How could he be so cruel? I
knew he was hurting but I never thought he could say such venomous
things to me. Turning my back to him I cried gently into my hands.
This really was going to end our friendship. I just couldn’t see a
way for us to get back from this; it was all just so fucked up. His
hand reached out and touched my shoulder and as furious and upset I
was with him I still couldn’t bring myself to reject the physical
contact with him. Pulling me sideways he wrapped his arms around me
tightly and squeezed me to his chest. Resting my head on his
shoulder I continued to cry when I felt a drip of warm liquid slide
over my forehead and down my nose. Lifting my head, I was taken
aback when I saw the tears in his eyes. He was crying.
Brushing them away with
my thumbs, my hands cupped his face. He gazed down at me and
swallowed hard, closing his eyes as his eyebrows furrowed together.
When they reopened I could see the regret and torment in them. My
heart broke a little as I saw the pain he was trying so desperately
to hide. I let out a long soft breath. Without warning he closed
the distance between us and kissed me. I felt the cool steel of his
lip ring pressing against my warm plump flesh. His hands swept
around my back as he pressed me against his body, deepening the
kiss but most shocking, was the fact that I didn’t stop him. I
stood frozen and completely stunned the entire time his lips were
against mine. I was unable to move, speak or even think straight.
My eyes closed and for a moment the entire world just melted away
as I became totally absorbed in the sensations. When my senses
finally returned, my eyes flew open and I pressed my hands against
his strong chest and pushed him away.
The two of us stood,
gasping for air equally dazed by what had just happened. My heart
was hammering in my chest as adrenaline began to surge through my
veins. I gawked at him totally confounded. Raising his hands he
stepped towards me but I immediately took a step back towards the
door. I touched my lip with my fingers trying to comprehend what
was going on between us when a wave of fury flooded into my body.
Outraged I stormed at him and shoved him hard, so hard in fact he
stumbled backwards before landing with a thud on his bed. Standing
over him I raged. “What the hell do you think you were doing!? I
have a boyfriend! Why did you do that!?” Shaking his head in
bewilderment, he seemed at a loss for words. “I don’t know what
came over me. You were in my arms, crying and when I looked down at
you I just couldn’t stop myself. It was like some uncontrollable
force I just had to kiss you Layla. I know you’re mad and I’m sorry
that you feel that way but honestly Layla? It was wonderful. And
I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’m crazy about you. I can’t stop
thinking about you. You’re the first thing I think about when I
wake up, the only thing I think about all day and the last thing I
think about at night. You’re my muse. I must have written at least
twenty new songs since I met you and they’re all about you. Your
eyes, your smile the way you laugh and the way you make my heart
want to tear its way out of my chest when you’re near me. I can’t
fight it any more, it’s killing me. I’ve tried to forget it, to get
over you but no other girl even compares. I don’t know what to do
anymore.”
I stared at him in
astonishment as his words spiraled and whirled inside my head.
Sinking to the floor his knees on the ground he sat back on his
heels and gazed up at me imploring me to forgive him. “I know I
can’t have you but I want you. I need you, even if it’s only as my
friend. I’ll take you any way I can, even if that means settling
for being one of your best friends. I will never ever bring this up
again and it will never come between us. We’ll forget it all and
start over brand new. Please Layla. Please forgive me.” I stared at
him, still in a dazzled state of mind. His eyes were red and still
slightly teary and I wanted to say yes. I wanted to tell him it
would all be ok but how could things ever be the same now? Could we
really, realistically be friends after this? His need for us to
remain friends wasn’t totally one sided. I loved Ollie in so many
ways; his humor, his intelligence, and the way he could make me
feel better when I was having a particularly crappy day, the way he
cared about me and his sense of fun in life. I loved him for all
those things. I just couldn’t love him the one way he wanted me to
and I wondered if it could really ever be enough for
him.
Dropping to my knees in
front of him I took his hand in mine. “I don’t want to lose you
from my life either Ollie. You already
are
one of my best friends and I’m
not willing to let you go but is it going to be enough for you? I
can leave that little lip locking mistake behind me and put it to
bed.”
Liar, you were so into that.
“But everything you just told me, all those words
and feelings, you can’t take
those
back Ollie. It’s different now. Do you honestly
think we can carry on like nothing happened? And what about Jared?
Can you truthfully and sincerely tell me that you could handle
seeing the two of us together? Because, if you say yes then great
and we’ll start anew and forget this whole thing. But you have to
be sure.”
Placing his own hand on
mine he sighed. “No Layla, I couldn’t. I won’t ever think he
deserves you. I will always think he’s wrong for you and I will
forever wish it was me in his place. But if being civil to him and
pretending that I’m not completely obsessed with you is what it
takes to keep you in my life, I’ll do it and maybe, someday I won’t
have to pretend anymore. But I wouldn’t hold my breath. I even
promise to stop calling him names. “
Needing to make things
normal between us again, I did the only thing I knew; I threw my
arms around his neck and pulled him into a warm hug. It felt forced
and uncomfortable as though we were trying to push all the
emotional torment out of our bodies. Our once warm and friendly
gesture now felt detached and impersonal. He gave me a quick peck
on the cheek before standing up and offering me his hand. I could
feel the distance between us and it tugged hard on my heart
strings. Things would never be the same again. This was going to
hang over our heads for a long time and that kiss was going to
haunt me forever. A shiver ran up my spine as I thought of what had
happened. I had enjoyed it. For a brief and fleeting moment I
wanted him to kiss me. I’d felt the spark, the electricity between
us and I couldn’t ignore the sexual tension that had been building
since the very first time I saw him. Guilt began to flow through me
and my stomach churned with an overwhelming feeling of
betrayal.
I took a deep breath and
pushed the urge to vomit down my throat as I swallowed hard.
Pulling myself upright, I stood and glanced at the clock behind
Ollie. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw the time. “Shit!
Ollie, we’re late for class! Psych started fifteen minutes ago!”
Grabbing his hoodie he began struggling into it. It got caught
around his shoulders while he used both hands to pull on his
sneakers while hopping around the room. I giggled at him but
stopped abruptly as my eyes travelled over his finely chiseled
body. I had never noticed how physically fit Ollie was before. His
arms were thick and a snake tattoo ran from his shoulder to his
bicep. His abs were deeply defined and led to the equally deep V of
his torso. I quickly darted my eyes away as he turned around and
straightened his hoodie before grabbing my hand and dragging me out
the door, down the hall and out of the building. Breathlessly, we
sprinted across campus to our class, only to find the door closed
and a sign saying: “Tardiness in my class is not tolerated. Once
the door is closed, you’re not coming in. Report to my office at
the end of the day to explain. Dr. Harman.”
Great, just what I
needed.
Running his hand through
his now even messier hair, Ollie kicked the wall he was standing
adjacent to. “Shit! Well I guess we’ve got three hours to spare.
Want to see a movie? Get some coffee? Try to forget that awful and
painfully horrific incident in my room?” I smiled at him, feeling
awkward. I needed some space and I also needed a shower. “Actually
Ollie, I didn’t get to shower and change at Jared’s so I think I’ll
go have a long soak and relax for a bit. I hope you don’t
mind.”
Your car Miss Jennings.
I’m Daniel and I’ll be your chauffeur this morning.”
Giving him a friendly
smile I climbed in and gazed at the beautiful cream interior. It
looked brand new and smelled like pine and lemon. I stared out of
the window at the house as we reversed off the drive and onto the
street. It would be several days till I was back there again and
back in Jared’s warm, loving embrace. The thought was distressing
and I was instantly in a bad mood; a mood that didn’t dissipate on
the ride back to campus.
I thanked Daniel as he
held out his hand to assist me out of the car and made my way to my
room. The halls were totally soundless except for the noise of the
creaky and well trafficked floorboards underneath my feet as I
walked down the long corridor to my room. I was just about to slide
my key into the lock when I was gripped on my elbow and hauled
backwards. I believe something along the lines of “what the fuck?”
left my lips as I stumbled, dazed into Oliver’s room. Staggering
back and trying to regain my equilibrium, I scanned my assailant.
Standing in front of me, hair tousled as if he just got out of bed
and wearing nothing but a pair of sweat pants, Oliver held his
finger to his lips and shushed me. “I wouldn’t go in there if I
were you. Nick came banging on your door last night and he never
came home. And unless Amy found a rebound guy sometime during the
evening, I’m pretty sure it was him she was calling ‘god’ all
night.”
I cringed and put my
fingers in my mouth pretending to gag. “Too much information Ollie.
How could she forgive him like that? He had some girls’ panties in
his car for heaven’s sake. Is she nuts, desperate or totally
stupid?” I rolled my eyes and shook my head thinking about the
emotional rollercoaster Amy was willingly riding and how bad it
would be when it was over. You know, that moment you step off and
come over all shaky, nauseous and you wonder why the hell you
thought it was a good idea in the first place. “Anyway how did you
know I wasn’t there?” He ran his fingers through his dark tangled
hair and a ghost of a smile touched his lips. “I heard your door
slam last night so I opened mine and saw you storming down the
hall. I was worried about you being out late and it getting dark
soon so…I kind of followed you but I didn’t want to crowd you so I
hung back. You looked like you needed some space. I just wanted to
make sure you were safe. It wasn’t some weird stalker thing. When
you got to the coffee shop I waited on a bench across the street
but left when I saw pretty boy turn up. I figured you’d called him
or something.” I stared at him in total disbelief. He’d followed me
all that way without saying a word. It was a little creepy and yet
totally sweet and typical of Ollie. He was obviously oblivious that
the reason for me storming out was over an argument I’d had with
Jared, otherwise I was pretty sure he’d have blown his cover and
launched himself at him to stop Jared from upsetting me any
further.
Tilting my head at him I
pressed my hands on my hips. This had all gone on long enough and
it was time I set him straight no matter how hard it would
be.
“
Ollie you don’t need to
babysit me. I can take care of myself. It’s really not your place
to be following me around. What do you think would have happened if
Jared had seen you? He’d have gone completely bat shit crazy. He
likes you almost as much as you like him. And stop calling him
names. I shouldn’t have to keep telling you that. Jared is my
boyfriend and if we’re going to stay friends you two are going to
have to learn to get along. I’m getting really sick of this
bullshit Ollie. I know how you feel about me and I’m sorry. I’m
sorry that I don’t feel the same and that I’ve hurt you and yeah
maybe if things had been different we would have ended up together,
but they’re not different. I met Jared, he asked me out and now
we’re a couple. I love him and he loves me right back. But that
doesn’t mean I don’t care very deeply about you. You’re one of my
best friends and I really want things to be ok between us. So would
you please just try and be happy for me and move forward from this?
Please?”
He winced and his face
was contorted as if I had just punched him in the gut. Staring at
the floor he shook his head. “You love him?” It was almost a
whisper. His voice was husky and pained as though the words stuck
like poison in his throat.
“
I do. I’m sorry if that
hurts you to hear it Ollie. But I won’t lie. I love him and he
loves me back.” His head snapped up and his expression had turned
quickly from sadness to intense anger. His eyes were dark and he
glared at me. “Seven weeks. We’ve been here seven fucking weeks and
this guy comes along with his shiny fucking car, high society
lifestyle and sweeps you right off your feet and out of my hands!
And after only a few weeks you fucking love him!? Are you shitting
me Layla? How can you not see this guy for what he is? He’s a tool.
A bonafied cock! A liar, playboy and a chew you up and spit you out
jackass. He doesn’t love you. You’re just the next in a long line
of women he uses to dick around with between meetings. You’re a
number honey so don’t go thinking you’re something special to him.
You’re not.”
A loud crack reverberated
around the room and it took me a moment to register that it had
come from me. My palm was stinging as I watched the pale flesh on
Oliver’s cheek turn a deep shade of pink. I’d slapped him, hard and
with violent intent. His eyes bore into my skull as he glowered at
me. I couldn’t bear to look at him. How could he be so cruel? I
knew he was hurting but I never thought he could say such venomous
things to me. Turning my back to him I cried gently into my hands.
This really was going to end our friendship. I just couldn’t see a
way for us to get back from this; it was all just so fucked up. His
hand reached out and touched my shoulder and as furious and upset I
was with him I still couldn’t bring myself to reject the physical
contact with him. Pulling me sideways he wrapped his arms around me
tightly and squeezed me to his chest. Resting my head on his
shoulder I continued to cry when I felt a drip of warm liquid slide
over my forehead and down my nose. Lifting my head, I was taken
aback when I saw the tears in his eyes. He was crying.
Brushing them away with
my thumbs, my hands cupped his face. He gazed down at me and
swallowed hard, closing his eyes as his eyebrows furrowed together.
When they reopened I could see the regret and torment in them. My
heart broke a little as I saw the pain he was trying so desperately
to hide. I let out a long soft breath. Without warning he closed
the distance between us and kissed me. I felt the cool steel of his
lip ring pressing against my warm plump flesh. His hands swept
around my back as he pressed me against his body, deepening the
kiss but most shocking, was the fact that I didn’t stop him. I
stood frozen and completely stunned the entire time his lips were
against mine. I was unable to move, speak or even think straight.
My eyes closed and for a moment the entire world just melted away
as I became totally absorbed in the sensations. When my senses
finally returned, my eyes flew open and I pressed my hands against
his strong chest and pushed him away.
The two of us stood,
gasping for air equally dazed by what had just happened. My heart
was hammering in my chest as adrenaline began to surge through my
veins. I gawked at him totally confounded. Raising his hands he
stepped towards me but I immediately took a step back towards the
door. I touched my lip with my fingers trying to comprehend what
was going on between us when a wave of fury flooded into my body.
Outraged I stormed at him and shoved him hard, so hard in fact he
stumbled backwards before landing with a thud on his bed. Standing
over him I raged. “What the hell do you think you were doing!? I
have a boyfriend! Why did you do that!?” Shaking his head in
bewilderment, he seemed at a loss for words. “I don’t know what
came over me. You were in my arms, crying and when I looked down at
you I just couldn’t stop myself. It was like some uncontrollable
force I just had to kiss you Layla. I know you’re mad and I’m sorry
that you feel that way but honestly Layla? It was wonderful. And
I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’m crazy about you. I can’t stop
thinking about you. You’re the first thing I think about when I
wake up, the only thing I think about all day and the last thing I
think about at night. You’re my muse. I must have written at least
twenty new songs since I met you and they’re all about you. Your
eyes, your smile the way you laugh and the way you make my heart
want to tear its way out of my chest when you’re near me. I can’t
fight it any more, it’s killing me. I’ve tried to forget it, to get
over you but no other girl even compares. I don’t know what to do
anymore.”
I stared at him in
astonishment as his words spiraled and whirled inside my head.
Sinking to the floor his knees on the ground he sat back on his
heels and gazed up at me imploring me to forgive him. “I know I
can’t have you but I want you. I need you, even if it’s only as my
friend. I’ll take you any way I can, even if that means settling
for being one of your best friends. I will never ever bring this up
again and it will never come between us. We’ll forget it all and
start over brand new. Please Layla. Please forgive me.” I stared at
him, still in a dazzled state of mind. His eyes were red and still
slightly teary and I wanted to say yes. I wanted to tell him it
would all be ok but how could things ever be the same now? Could we
really, realistically be friends after this? His need for us to
remain friends wasn’t totally one sided. I loved Ollie in so many
ways; his humor, his intelligence, and the way he could make me
feel better when I was having a particularly crappy day, the way he
cared about me and his sense of fun in life. I loved him for all
those things. I just couldn’t love him the one way he wanted me to
and I wondered if it could really ever be enough for
him.
Dropping to my knees in
front of him I took his hand in mine. “I don’t want to lose you
from my life either Ollie. You already
are
one of my best friends and I’m
not willing to let you go but is it going to be enough for you? I
can leave that little lip locking mistake behind me and put it to
bed.”
Liar, you were so into that.
“But everything you just told me, all those words
and feelings, you can’t take
those
back Ollie. It’s different now. Do you honestly
think we can carry on like nothing happened? And what about Jared?
Can you truthfully and sincerely tell me that you could handle
seeing the two of us together? Because, if you say yes then great
and we’ll start anew and forget this whole thing. But you have to
be sure.”
Placing his own hand on
mine he sighed. “No Layla, I couldn’t. I won’t ever think he
deserves you. I will always think he’s wrong for you and I will
forever wish it was me in his place. But if being civil to him and
pretending that I’m not completely obsessed with you is what it
takes to keep you in my life, I’ll do it and maybe, someday I won’t
have to pretend anymore. But I wouldn’t hold my breath. I even
promise to stop calling him names. “
Needing to make things
normal between us again, I did the only thing I knew; I threw my
arms around his neck and pulled him into a warm hug. It felt forced
and uncomfortable as though we were trying to push all the
emotional torment out of our bodies. Our once warm and friendly
gesture now felt detached and impersonal. He gave me a quick peck
on the cheek before standing up and offering me his hand. I could
feel the distance between us and it tugged hard on my heart
strings. Things would never be the same again. This was going to
hang over our heads for a long time and that kiss was going to
haunt me forever. A shiver ran up my spine as I thought of what had
happened. I had enjoyed it. For a brief and fleeting moment I
wanted him to kiss me. I’d felt the spark, the electricity between
us and I couldn’t ignore the sexual tension that had been building
since the very first time I saw him. Guilt began to flow through me
and my stomach churned with an overwhelming feeling of
betrayal.
I took a deep breath and
pushed the urge to vomit down my throat as I swallowed hard.
Pulling myself upright, I stood and glanced at the clock behind
Ollie. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw the time. “Shit!
Ollie, we’re late for class! Psych started fifteen minutes ago!”
Grabbing his hoodie he began struggling into it. It got caught
around his shoulders while he used both hands to pull on his
sneakers while hopping around the room. I giggled at him but
stopped abruptly as my eyes travelled over his finely chiseled
body. I had never noticed how physically fit Ollie was before. His
arms were thick and a snake tattoo ran from his shoulder to his
bicep. His abs were deeply defined and led to the equally deep V of
his torso. I quickly darted my eyes away as he turned around and
straightened his hoodie before grabbing my hand and dragging me out
the door, down the hall and out of the building. Breathlessly, we
sprinted across campus to our class, only to find the door closed
and a sign saying: “Tardiness in my class is not tolerated. Once
the door is closed, you’re not coming in. Report to my office at
the end of the day to explain. Dr. Harman.”
Great, just what I
needed.
Running his hand through
his now even messier hair, Ollie kicked the wall he was standing
adjacent to. “Shit! Well I guess we’ve got three hours to spare.
Want to see a movie? Get some coffee? Try to forget that awful and
painfully horrific incident in my room?” I smiled at him, feeling
awkward. I needed some space and I also needed a shower. “Actually
Ollie, I didn’t get to shower and change at Jared’s so I think I’ll
go have a long soak and relax for a bit. I hope you don’t
mind.”
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